Anteater

"What are you waiting for? Lord and Lady Ardvakian will be here in an hour and you both look a mess!" Susan could barely keep her pounding headache at bay. She had been preparing all month for this, all month! Now she just had to sit back and watch Peter and Edmund mess it up. Lucy was ecstatic about meeting new people, especially humans from Narnia. She glanced at the slowly sinking sun through the stain glass window. She had to get changed and had very little time to do so. With that she quickly walked in the most lady like manner to her room.

*1 hour later*

"Presenting Lord and Lady Ardvakian to your Majesties, High King Peter the Magnificent, Queen Susan the Gentle, King Edmund the Just and Queen Lucy the Valiant!" A small fox exclaimed. The four monarchs rose and descended the stairs to properly greet their guests. Everyone's faces seemed to be frozen in a state of shock. Standing across from them on the marble floor was two anteaters.

"You've got to be joking." Edmund muttered. Susan proceeded to elbow him in his ribs, careful not to wrinkle her deep blue dress with a delicate gold trim along the bottom and waist. It was even harder to move due to the corset but if this was the proper way to dress than Good Lion she would do it! Edmund seemed to choke on his own spit, still caught in the surprise of their guests.

A long awkward silence filled the throne room. Lucy was shifting from foot to foot, obviously just bursting to talk but she knew that it was only polite to ask questions after the guests have been served dinner. Edmund wrung his hands in his green tunic, trying to think of some excuse to get out of this mess. Susan had a smile plastered on her face as she focused on keeping her back straight and looking every bit of Queen she could. Peter was looking steadily at the anteaters as if waiting for them to magically turn into humans. This was the first time they had guests so one can imagine the confusion between the family.

Lucy's stomach rumbled loudly, "I should think it is time we eat supper!" She declared. She took the ant eaters by their paws, least phased of all the children and dragged them along to the dining room. She immediately forgot about anything Susan told her about being polite and kind so she did what she did best, be Lucy. They watch her jabber away until they could no longer see her light purple dress flowing behind her. Peter followed, also eager to eat and Edmund and Susan chased after him.

Dinner was rather quiet except for Lucy who was currently explain exactly what Lucy looked like to the anteaters who were used to living in Calmore desert while the winter raged on. They only just returned and were quiet eager to find out about anything they missed. Everything was fine until the first course was served. It is customary to eat whatever your guests diet recommends so the plates were filled with dead ants.

"Mmmh. These ants are absolutely delectable your Majesties! We must get your recipe!" Lady Ardvakian gushed! Lucy for once was at a loss for words. She shifted them around a bit on her plate but couldn't seem to stomach them.

"Is there something wrong your Majesties?" The anteaters questioned.

"Blo-" Edmund started, ready to explain with quite the colorful language that he was by no means eating ants.

"No, of course not! As my royal brother was about to say that this is one food that we haven't tried. We all love trying new things and I am sure it will just as wonderful as you say." Susan interrupted.

With that she took a small forkful, shut her eyes and swallowed. The small ant legs tickled her throat. Lucy followed suit and eventually Peter, desperately trying not to offend their guests. Edmund leaned back and crossed his arms. He stared at Peter.

"Edmund, you have to eat something and this-erm- wonderful meal is something. You have to eat it!"

"Sorry mate, there are few things I won't do and willingly eating bugs is one of those things. "

Peter proceeded to kick Edmund rather hard under the table and he yelped.

"Fine, but only one bite."

"It won't kill you." With a huff Edmund picked up his fork and dug in. He took one bite, swallowed and raced from the room. He needed to find a dustbin now.

Peter chased right after him but only caught up when they were in Edmund's bathroom. Edmund then emptied his stomach's contents into a dustbin, the floor and Peter's red tunic.

"That was payback." Edmund gasped from the floor.

"Well, I've got bad news for you. After today's mix up I asked who was coming tomorrow…"

"And?"
"They're Dung Beetles."

A/N Ewww. I really hated this one but no matter how many times I wrote it, it turned out horrible, much like Edmund's vom. I might update again tonight as an apology for the crapieness of this one shot. I know there is hardly any detail but after reading this no amount of detail would save this so I'm going to move on to the next topic and pretend this never happened.

~Hain