I JUST HAD AN IDEA FOR BILL! EEEK! It made me so excited that I have to write it even before antics and banana. I assure you those will come next but I NEED to write this. Has anyone else just been chilling and all the sudden you're hit with a plot bunny or some great idea and you just can't wait to write it?

Bill (SET RIGHT AFTER LWW AT A CAFÉ)

"Oh Aslan, what kind of shit is this?"

"I think it's supposed to be coffee." Muttered Peter staring into the dark muck that filled his porcelain cup.

"I wouldn't be so sure…" Edmund trailed as he pulled a long hair, obviously not his own from his mug. He stared out of the grimy windows from their booth. In Narnia only the best tea was served, not this lame excuse for a drink. Coffee didn't actually taste all that bad to Edmund, he even preferred it some days, but today was not one of those days and their drinks were not coffee despite what the waitress said.

"Everything is worse here, the air, the food, the people." Edmund grunted as he glared at an old bully he used to know. This boy was over-weight and was wearing clothes two sizes too small. He looked almost like a balloon and Edmund was desperately wishing for the chance to pop him. Peter noticed Edmund's line of vision and the faint twitching of his eye.

"Perhaps we should return home. We can make something better there." Peter said carefully. He grabbed the crook of Edmunds arm and dragged him until his grumbling stopped.

In the distance police whistles could be heard and pounding feet on the cracked pavement.

"At least they've gotten one thing right here, the justice system." Edmund said. They continued to walk until the both felt a hand grip their shoulder. Instinctively they both used their own weight against the man and flipped him over. A police officer groaned in front of them. The boy's eyes grew wide as they just realized what happened.

They immediately turned around to face the other two police that had been following them.

"What did you two think you were doing, walking out without paying the bill like that?" Suddenly they remembered, here in England one must always pay the bill after they went someplace to eat no matter how disgusting the food was. In Narnia or anywhere else that they were Kings and Queens everything was free. It never cost them a penny to even eat at the finest places!

"Hey, how did Markus end up on the ground!" One officer shouted.

"These boys are like bloody trained professionals! They worked as a team and tossed me like a rag doll!" Edmund thought quickly. It was up to him to save their sorry arses because Peter was horrible at lying in Narnian and is just as bad here. Putting on his best country accent he began to explain/lie, whichever you prefer.

"Ya see sir, we don't mean no 'arm." He slouched slightly and widened his eyes, giving him the expression of a seven year old. If he tried to imitate how Lord Benjamin spoke (that bloody sailor) he might just be able to pull it off. "We're just boys from the country comin' to visit our Anutie an' our cousins! We've never gone out to eat before so we didn't know! I'm so sorry!" He then forced his eyes to tear up and nudged Peter who handed him the money.

"Here you go sir. Could you give this to tha' nice lady and tell her we're very sorry?"
"Yes, sure thing son, just make sure to never do it again. How did you flip Markus like that?"

"We wrestle a lot with the pigs an' each other sir. It builds us some strong muscles!"

"Right, does this other boy talk?"

"He's a little confused in the head, got himself a case pf heat stroke las' summer an' never fully recovered."

"Can you make it home to your Aunt's house alright?"

"Yes sir, no problem! Thank you sir! We'll be sure to be more careful sir!"

With that Edmund and Peter ran towards the house.

"Did you really have to make me mentally ill? Was that truly necessary?" Peter panted.

"No, but if I had to pretend to be seven and use that god dam country accent you had to pay some sort of price."

When they got home their mother greeted them warmly at the door.

"How are my two countr' nephews doin'?" She asked in the most unbelievable country accent.

"The police rang, askin' me about two boys who lef' a café without payin'. They said those two boys look jus' like my Edmund an' Peter who were also at tha' very café. They told me the whole story."

"The whole thing?" Peter gulped.

"Don't try talkin' darling, wouldn't want to worry that sun burnt brain of yours." It was going to be a long night.

TADA! HERE IT IS! Review please!

~Hain