Billions

Peter's POV

I dully tapped my fingers on the arm of the leather chair. I used to enjoy reading in the library in Narnia, but no, not anymore. I recalled that pleasant, optimistic badger that knew where every book was and it's content. He was also one of the most fascinating creatures one could wish to speak to. But here I am sitting in Professor Kirk's house reading a book on the anatomy of the common toad. At least, that's what I think I was reading about. It was once again, one of those days that you would read and reread a passage over and over again and not notice because your mind was elsewhere.

The anatomy of the frog is most interesting especially when one can….. No, I can't continue reading this; I can feel my brain cells committing suicide. It's pointless for one such as myself who spent fifteen years watching healers discuss the anatomy of the talking toad. With that I slammed the leather bound book shut and tossed it on the table. I need to find Edmund; he would know what to do. Susan and Lucy had started spending more time together anyways. Besides, Edmund had extremely quiet and isolated, even more so than I expected, since our untimely return, some company would do us both good.

I heaved myself from the red leather arm chair and stretched my legs. I began to wonder down the hall way, checking each room for signs of my brother. Many of the French doors were locked but the few that were open were empty and lifeless.

The floor creaked under my heavy feet as I finally approached the room I knew I should've started in. The door was slightly ajar but if I hadn't known what was sitting inside the walls I would have probably walked right past it.

I silently slipped inside and found Edmund staring longingly at the wardrobe, his hands crossed over his knees on the floor. I stood and watched him as I listened to him murmuring to himself.

"I'm so sorry Aslan. I don't know what I did wrong to make you angry. I don't know why you're punishing us. If it's me that you're angry at don't make the others suffer please. Let them go back. They don't deserve it. Is this a punishment for when I betrayed Narnia? I always wondered when it would come but why put my family, who has done no wrong, through all of this? Why?" He whispered brokenly. I gave him a few minutes of silence to make it seem if I hadn't been listening.

Then, without a word I crouched down next to him. A moment passed until he acknowledged me.

"What do you a think is happening at home right now?" He asked softly.

"Honestly, I haven't a clue. There are a billion things that they could be doing. They're probably still searching for us and I imagine Oreius along with our other advisors have been trying to keep everything under control." Edmund shifted slightly but it was obvious that wasn't what was worrying him. If I straight out asked him what was wrong he would immediately shut me out so I had to wait for him to tell me exactly what he was thinking.

"I'm sorry." Ah, now we're getting somewhere.

"For what?" There was a pause and I feared he wasn't going to answer.

"Leading everyone out of the wardrobe. If I hadn't said anything about recognizing the lamp post we wouldn't be back here right now. I mean I should have known what it was in the first place because the Western Wood was my territory but I did nothing to stop us from heading back here."

"That was no one's fault at all! If you remember correctly Lucy was the first through the wardrobe and none of us complained. We all went willingly. Any of us could have turned around at anytime and said that it was a bad idea but we kept moving forward. Maybe Aslan wanted us to go."

"That's the other thing I don't understand. If Aslan wanted us out what did we do to deserve it? I've considered everything we could have possibly done to anger him and the only thing that I could really come up with was my betrayal. I thought he forgave me but I guess I was wrong and now I'm drag-dragging you and Susan and Lucy into it too. I'm sorry." I didn't realize he was crying until he started hiccupping. I knew this was going to happen, he always managed find a way to blame himself for everything. I just don't know why I never sought him out sooner.

"Edmund Randall Pevensie, listen to me right now. This was by no means your fault. Aslan had his reasons for making us leave, and I know he would never punish us, not after all of the things we have done for him and his land. We might not understand it but we just have to trust him. Who knows maybe one day he'll let us back in. After all he let us find it once, why not again?" I chuckled at myself, I was beginning to sound more and more like Lucy every day. I slid closer to Edmund and held him as hiccups and tears came to a halt. AS if crying took all the energy out of him he placed his head in my lap and shut his eyes. At first I thought he was asleep but I could tell by the faint smile ghosting his lips he was remembering and feeling everything Narnia brought us. I may be confused and hurt by Aslan's actions but I do thank him every day for a brother like Edmund. He really is one in a billion.

A/N Not a very good piece personally and the ending wasn't very connected but I had wanted to write something like this for a while. I used the middle name Randall because it means shield and I often think of Edmund as the shield of Narnia while Peter was the sword. Maybe I'll write a fic about that one day…

Hope you enjoyed it,

Hain