I wish I'd known in advance, what would happen to Santana.

It was only a week after her song performance - we hadn't spoken. I had kept to my word, determined to give her time if that was what she needed.

And so, I waited.

But she didn't text me, message me, call me, or try and make any contact with me, and Nationals was only days away. I felt as if I needed to speak to her before then, but I didn't know how.

So I spent my days working as hard as I could, practicing for Nationals in Glee Club, and I spent my nights curled up on my bed, reading through all our texts with longing and nostalgia. I remembered when things had been relatively simple between us - just kissing, that was how it had started. That had soon developed into just sex, and now? Well, now there was no 'just' in our relationship - it was full on, all the time. That was the best and worst thing about it.

'Brittany, it's time for dinner!'

It was another of those nights, same as every day so far that week, and I was lying on my bed reading in order to take my mind off Santana for as long as I could. I'd become an avid reader recently - whenever I wasn't working or practicing my singing, I was reading. It was a great remedy.

'Coming, mom,' I said absently, not moving. I was just getting to the good part.

I heard the phone ring, but I ignored it, assuming my mom would get it - I heard her answer, but I wasn't really listening to the conversation, I was too wrapped up in my book.

A minute later, I heard another cry.

'Brittany!'

'Yeah, yeah, I'm coming,' I said, not looking up.

But once I heard hysterical shouting, I knew something had gone wrong.

'M-Mom?,' I called, worriedly. 'Is everything okay?'

I heard her put down the phone, and then hurried footsteps coming up the stairs. I quickly folded the page of my book and jumped from the bed, rushing to the door.

'Mom?' She walked towards me, looking absolutely horrified. 'Mom! What's the matter, is it Grandma?'

'Lucas,' she said, clutching her side breathlessly. 'Santana's brother, he's been hurt, they think he was stabbed, he's in hospital and he -'

'What!' I felt the world spinning. 'Lucas? What? No, oh my God, mom, he can't be... Is he going to be alright?'

There were tears in her eyes now. 'They're trying to stabilise him, but he's lost a lot of blood. That was Santana on the phone. She wanted to talk to you.'

I shook my head, unable to believe it. 'When did this happen? Did she say?'

'No,' Mom said, running a hand through her messy hair. 'She was completely hysterical, Brittany, I could barely make out what she was saying, she just said she didn't know who else to talk to -'

'I need to find her,' I said, moving towards my desk where my jacket was lying over the chair, but when I turned my mom was blocking the door.

'Brittany, you can't go there now,' she said, suddenly firm.

'Why? Santana needs me, you said so yourself, I can't just -'

'They think he's going to die, Brittany,' she said solemnly. 'You can't be there to witness it. I won't allow it.'

I slumped backwards onto my desk chair, putting my head in my hands.

'Brittany,' she said, moving towards me. 'I'm sorry. From the way she was talking, I don't think he's going to pull through. Santana needs her family right now. Just wait.'

'I'm sick of waiting!,' I shouted, trying to push past her, but she held me back.

'I can't let you go there,' she repeated. 'I won't.'

'So what am I meant to do,' I said, feeling the rage bubble up inside my chest, 'just sit here and wait for him to die? Wait for the phone call to tell me he's gone? Santana means a lot to me, mom, but so does Lucas. He's like my big brother. I can't leave without saying goodbye to him first.'

'It's not your place,' she said. 'They probably won't even let you in to see him.'

'I can't just wait for this to happen, I have to do something, anything -'

'There's nothing you can do,' she said, trying to keep her voice calm and steady. 'Brittany, I know you feel useless right now, but there isn't anything you can do.'

I stood there, my coat half on, looking into her pleading eyes.

'Fine,' I said, giving in.

'Come on,' she said, taking my hand. 'Let's go to the kitchen. I'll make tea.'

I shook my head in bewilderment, but followed her out of my bedroom and down the stairs.

And now we wait.

I knew that if Lucas was okay, Santana would have called to let us know.

And if he wasn't, she wouldn't be in any fit state to call anybody.

She didn't call.

But still we waited - holding on to some vague hope that her mobile might be out of battery, or their house phone wasn't working.

But we both knew, by 9 o'clock that evening, that he was gone.

I didn't cry for Lucas, I didn't cry for Santana, instead I just sat there with my Mom holding me in her arms, thinking of all the good times we'd had together. Me, Lucas and Santana. He was older than her by two years. He'd never been into music or dancing the way Santana was. Somewhere along the track, he'd got lost, got in too deep with his Lima Heights friends. I'd barely seen him in the past two years, because he hardly ever came home.

Which is why I wasn't so shocked that he had been stabbed. He was always getting into situations like that - he'd nearly died more than anyone else I knew. But he had always fought it, he'd always escaped. Before now.

Santana never really spoke about him - she had been ashamed of him, to say the least. But I knew she loved him, because she knew that under all the crazy shit he did, he was vulnerable, just like her. They were more alike than she would ever admit, even to herself.

I didn't want to think about what Santana would be doing right now. I couldn't bare the thought of her pain. So, I didn't call her, even though every nerve in my body was screaming for me to make contact. But I knew that when she was ready, she would tell me.

I went to bed early that night. I prayed that I would fall asleep quickly, and a tiny part of me hoped I wouldn't wake up too soon. Sleep was... easy. Sleep was an escape, and I treasured it above all else. Especially at that moment, I just wanted to have a few hours of forgetfulness.

She called me in the morning. My heart dropped when I heard my phone buzzing, and I held my finger over the green button, wondering what would happen if I didn't pick up.

But I couldn't stop myself. I answered.

'H-hello?'

I waited for her reply. I knew she was there, I could hear her breathing, and I gave her time to speak.

'Hi,' she whispered in a hoarse voice that conveyed too clearly that she hadn't slept and she'd been crying for several hours.

I wasn't sure what to say in that moment. 'How are you' seemed ridiculous, and nothing else was coming into my mind. So instead, I waited for her to speak again.

'I need to see you,' she croaked.

I hesitated. 'Are you sure? Are you sure you're up for it?'

She sniffed loudly. Trying to hold herself together as usual.

'I need you.'

I smiled sadly to myself. 'Okay. I'll be over in ten minutes.'

'No,' she said firmly. 'Not here. Treehouse.'

'Fine,' I said, and waited until she hung up.

I dressed as fast as I could, running out to my garden to find her already standing there.

She looked an absolute mess. Her hair wasn't washed or brushed, and it hung limply around her sunken face. Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen, her lips chapped and faded. It was a cold day, but she wasn't wearing a jacket - it was almost like she wanted to be cold.

'Santana,' I whispered, hurrying towards her.

When she spotted me, it was like something inside her broke.

I pulled her into my arms as she sobbed uncontrollably into my shoulder, and I held her, unsure what else to do.

Her legs completely gave way and she fell to her knees, and I fell with her, so we were sitting at the base of the treehouse, wrapped in each other, while her pained cries filled the air.

'He's gone,' she said, over and over. 'He's gone and I don't know what to do.'

'It's going to be okay,' I whispered, kissing away her tears. 'Everything's going to be okay.'

'I never told him,' she wailed, digging her nails into my jacket. 'I never told him about us. I didn't want to hurt him, so I never told him.'

My steamy breath filled the space between us, where it mixed with Santana's.

'He knew,' I said.

She looked into my eyes, shocked. 'W-What?'

'He knew for years, Santana,' I said, tears stinging my eyes. 'I didn't want to tell you, but... When we were both thirteen, he asked me if I loved you.'

She watched me with wide, sunken eyes, not speaking.

'And...' I took a deep breath. 'I told him I did. But he didn't stop there. He asked me if I loved you like a sister. And I said no, because I'd always known it was more than that between us. And he told me that if I ever hurt you, he would know, and he would protect you with his life. But he also said that he could tell I was the best thing that had ever happened to you, and... He told me he knew you felt the same way, and one day you would realise it.'

She looked away, her face screwed up, trying to stem the flow of tears.

'Remember that time at your house... When I asked you what our relationship was. I told you this relationship was really confusing for me and I wanted to see someone about it.'

She gave me a look. Of course she remembered. It was the start of everything.

'That was his idea,' I admitted, smiling sadly. 'He was the one who made me do it.'

Her expression broke then, and she pulled me back in, holding me even tighter than before, sobbing again.

'None of this would have ever happened if it wasn't for Lucas,' I said. 'Sure he made some mistakes. But I have a lot to thank him for. And so do you.'

I don't know exactly how long we sat there. Santana only left once her grandma arrived and wrestled her out of my arms. I let her go - her grandma would look after her until her parents had recovered from the trauma.

Everything will be alright, I said, as her sobs faded away. Everything will be okay, in the end. And the fact that it's not okay right now, tells me that it's not the end yet.

All I have to do is survive until then.

Author's Note: GUH, sad chapter is sad. I know I cried. This chapter means a lot to me, so please review/favourite and tell me what you thought. I read all the reviews I get and I'm really appreciative of what you guys think. Thanks.