Chapter 13: Lazy Bed

The next morning when Zoey woke up, she felt too exhausted to do anything so she just turned over and went back to sleep.

She did this for the rest of the day, ignoring the sunlight filling her room, the faint barks of Simon. Her eyes would open of their own accord, telling her she was awake, but she just turned over, adjusting her body and burrowing further under the covers as she closed her eyes again.

She wasn't up to facing them.

After being proved wrong yesterday when she lost control with another power left her feeling… defeated. She put on a strong face when dealing with the other powers, even though it was hard for her, but losing control again scared her. What if Erik and Charles never came, and she lost control one day and ended up killing someone?

She would hate to look at the others and fake being strong and happy.

So instead she stayed in bed, away from the world around her.

It was night when she heard a knock on her door, which was a surprise.

She didnt know who was looking after her that day; she had no disturbances since then.

However a warm tingling in the back of her neck let her know who it was at the door.

She sighed and muttered "Come in."

She usually enjoyed his company, but wasn't looking forward to a talk with him right now.

"Zoey?"

"Can't make it to the phone right now, leave a message at the beep…" she ended on a sigh, turning over again, this time bringing the covers over her head.

"Will you at least eat something? Janie made cut-up hotdogs and baked beans... comfort food," he said in attempting voice.

The perfect comfort meal.

She pulled the covers down to below her nose, looking at the ceiling. She sniffed.

"And why would Janie feel the need to make a comfort food?"

"Well… I might have said you were feeling-"

"Did you tell them?" she asked angrily, still looking at the ceiling.

"No! No, I just said that you were to be left alone today, that you needed some time alone."

She sighed, and nodded.

She shouldn't have doubted Charles. He always seemed to be right. She turned her head.

Charles was at the side of her bed, the tray in his lap. She folded the covers down, and shifted up a little bit in a small sitting position.

She took the tray, staying careful of his hands. She dug in automatically.

"Zoey…"

"Eating," she interrupted with a full mouth.

She finished her dish in a minute or two, wiped her mouth, and took a deep breath.

"Okay, now for the talk."

"There's no 'talk', Zoey. You can't be surprised that I'm concerned you stayed in bed all day."

She stayed silent and stared down at her empty plate.

"It's… too much," she barely whispered.

He sighed.

"I remember the first few weeks after Cuba, the news reports forcing us into seclusion. We were at each other's throats. The strain on me to keep everything calm was tiring.

But then a few weeks later, Janie and Ororo arrived and made the house brighter, and we had to watch ourselves around Ori. And then… at Cerebro, I found you. And Hank was the one who mentioned you could use help."

"Why are you saying this? Why are you putting it on Hank for the idea to find me? You said yourself that Erik would also have an interest in me, with my level, what Greek letter was it...? I know it was you."

Charles sighed, and shook his head.

"You aren't a weapon, Zoey. You are not… a pet," he spit out the last word; the one Erik has described her as.

"I know, Charles. But this is unknown to me. I know why I can't go back to my old life. I saw the newspapers after Erik's broadcast. I knew what kind of danger ensued when I lost control the other day."

There was a man-hunt for mutants now.

All government agencies were involved, and there was even a hotline for suspicious reports. She knew that John, her co-worker from the bar, was one of them; his story featured in her local city newspaper, calling her and Erik accomplices. Even Charles too -though not by name- was reported as well.

"He always … that is- he acts irrationally. He's just furthering his 'cause'," Charles said.

"That broadcast probably sent every… mutant… into hiding. He's setting his 'cause' back a few years."

"Like I said… an irrational thinker."

There was a beat of silence that she decided to take advantage of.

"Thanks for the food," Zoey said, smiling.

"Don't think that will end the conversation, Zoey."

"What else is there to say?" she raised her voice, annoyed.

She brought her tray around and rested it on her bedside table. She clenched her hands, bringing them to fists.

Charles took a deep breath, but she spoke first.

"No, Charles. No speech. I need to adjust to this. I wasn't like Janie and Ororo, always on the move. I had a home, I had a job. I had-"

"Friends? Those you could be yourself with?"

"Well, thanks to you and Erik, I'm now someone completely different. I was myself, then."

There was a long beat of silence.

Zoey shook her head, and stuttered to speak. She shouldn't have said that, even she knew it wasn't true.

But Charles spoke first.

"I know for a fact that you knew who you really were, even before Erik and I showed up. You have the gall to tell me you never encountered your power before?" he asked.

She sighed.

"You probably know the answer to that question-"

"Dammit Zoey, stop being so evasive! Just tell me the truth!" he said, his own voice rising.

Zoey frowned, threw the covers off her bed, and stood up.

"You want to hear the truth?' she said loudly as she started to pace, walking around Charles to find the room to do so.

"That I feel like an animal now, helplessly stuck here? That the first moment when I saw Erik,I never felt so scared in my life? That I never felt so happy when I shared my power with the others the first day I came here? And then that fear came back, stronger than ever, as we watched Erik's broadcast? That the fear is still stuck with me; fear that I'd hurt someone, even worse one of you? And yesterday, when I almost took out the city's power, right there in the middle of everything, I felt like… a freak! God I hate saying that but... I felt so scared - alone... different…"

She took a deep breath and looked at Charles who was staring back, his face in shock.

"What!? Would reading my mind have made that better? It's not all fun and games for us others, Charles. We don't have it that easy."

"You think what I have is EASY?" his voice rose even more and he wheeled close to her.

"You can make people do what you want, think what you want, you can hear peoples thoughts, you can-"

"Destroy someone? Turn them inside out? Kill somebody through only my mind? You think who we are is fun and games?" he asked incredulously.

"My life is part of this mess, and you think I'm playing a game?" she asked, her voice at a near scream.

A knock on the door stopped Charles from replying.

Zoey stood there, staring back at him, breathing heavily. She then shook her head, and turned to open the door.

Ori stood there, Simon sitting next to her. Ori looked apprehensive, Simon had his ears down.

"You guys are yelling," she said softly.

Zoey's heart skipped a beat with pain, and she knelt down to look at Ori at her level, resting a hand on her shoulder.

"Everything's okay, Ori. Just a small disagreement," she said, scratching Simon's chin with her other hand.

"You should be in bed, Ori," Charles said from behind her.

Ori only shrugged.

"Janie and Alex were talking in the sunroom but then they also yelled at each other... and now everybody's in their rooms. I was taking Simon out a final time when I heard-"

"It's fine, Ori, nothing to worry about. Just a small tiff, that's all. I'm sorry if we worried you," Zoey said, finally pulling Ori into a hug. Ori pulled back smiling.

"Okay then. Goodnight, Professor, goodnight, Zoey," she said, smiling now. She gave a last smile before she left, Simon following suit.

Zoey sighed, and closed her eyes to prepare herself as she stood and turned around.

"Your study is far from the other rooms. Shall we continue in there?"

Charles almost looked defeated as he shook his head.

"No, Zoey. Not tonight."

He moved to the doorway, his back still turned towards her.

"Goodnight," he said before leaving, closing the door behind him.

Zoey only took a deep breath before the tears blurred her vision, and she burrowed herself back under the covers.

(sometime earlier)

That night, Alex was the first to arrive in the sun room.

He turned on the lamps, setting a dim light over the room, dark enough to still see the stars.

He was pacing around impatiently when she cleared her throat. He smiled as he turned to see Janie, in a big back shirt and black leggings, make her way into the room and sit on a nearby sofa cross-legged.

He could only smile.

Last night as they continued their detail-for-a-detail game, he learned more about her than he would have if they'd spent a few more months together... and the same went for him.

They'd talked about family, old friends, embarrassing moments, and favorite foods.

Tonight, he was planning to push a little more. He was even willing to give up his dirty secrets to find out why she was so scared all the time; her short explanation wasn't enough for him.

"So where did we leave off? I believe it was you and your 'original' Philly Cheese Steaks for best food?" she asked, actually smiling at him.

It was a rare occurrence, and tried not to frown about it.

"Actually I was thinking of different questions this time," he said slowly.

She titled her head.

"Like what? Guilty pleasures? Ooh, or favorite games!"

"What are you scared of, Janie?" he blurted out.

She froze, hand mid air to brush her hair back. She stood up quickly.

"You told me you would keep it light-"

"It's a simple question, Janie."

"But-" she stopped, realizing she was caught. She started to move, needing to escape.

"Well, I'm really tired, can I take a rain check-"

Alex moved in front of her; she had to stop abruptly and ended up stumbling right into him. He caught her with warm hands and held her close.

"How am I supposed to help you if you don't let me know what happened?" he whispered.

She jerked away, but he kept his grip.

"I don't need your help!" she said loudly.

"You still jump at noises, Janie. Like a scared animal. Ori too, hers eyes just get wide, but she doesn't react like you do. And you still don't like it when someone touches you. What happened?!"

"Dammit just leave it, Alex!" she struggled more, but Alex used it to his advantage to bring their bodies even closer together.

"I can't, Janie, don't you see that it hurts me to see you like this? Scared when-"

Her grip tightened on him and his voice faltered. He drew his head back, looking into her eyes. They were wet.

"Janie, no," he said, bringing a hand to her cheek, wiping the first tear away before it fell.

Her face contorted, and she frowned as she tried to pull away again, but failing. "Nothing you say can change what-"

"They attacked me. I was useless, weak. They… they took everything from Ori and I… and they touched me-"

"Where are they? Tell at least one of them is alive, I would love to just-"

"When they started touching me, Ori brought lighting on one of them, killing him in an instant. The others ran away scared."

She looked down, and Alex's grip tightened even more. She winced, and pulled away in his moment of distraction.

She went to the nearest sofa and sat on the arm. Alex moved in front of her yet again, trapping her in but not touching her.

He was breathing heavily with fury; she was shaking, embarrassed and scared. He looked reluctant to, but he pulled away anyways, giving her space.

"I'm sorry, Janie-"

"Why did you ask for solitary confinement?" she asked suddenly.

He turned around to look at her. She crossed her arms, and raised a brow.

"Detail for a detail, buddy," she snapped.

He sighed. At least she wasn't asking why he was in prison in the first place. He sat down on a different sofa arm.

"I was still angry, from everything from before. Having to deal with stupid idiots who thought they were something important inside a place with iron bars and guards who abused you. And I knew my power would manifest even more… so I figured being alone was better, where my power wasn't roused by…"

"People like me?" she whispered. He had lost his control with her, burned her arm.

"No!" he said automatically as he turned to face her. "God, no, it wasn't you. Charles said so himself, we're our powers, we are the only ones with control. With you…"

"What?" she asked softly, making his heart twitch.

"With you… I just got angry that you pulled away after what we shared. Something I had wanted to do for a while… why do you always pull away, Janie?" he asked yet again.

"I-"

"Well this wasn't what I expected to walk in on," Sean's voice interrupted.

Alex closed his eyes and let go of Janie, taking in deep breaths. He was too tempted to blast Sean with a little shot of his power; not to hurt him, but at least knock him off his feet.

He turned, and Sean was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, smug grin on his face.

"Sean, don't you have anything better to do than be a peeping tom?" Janie asked.

"Ditto, Sean," Alex growled. Sean's eyes widened at Alex's tone.

"It's late guys, I'm tired, goodnight," Janie said, slipping past him and rushing away towards her room.

Alex called out after her, but she didn't stop.

He turned to Sean, who raised his hands.

"What is the problem, Sean? Can't I have one break with her? You know that-"

"You're being rash. What if it doesn't work out?"

Alex inhaled and exhaled, running his hands through his hair.

"We were friends first; we'll become friends again-"

Sean laughed.

"You actually believe that crap? C'mon, man. We all live together, it will ruin the whole vibe!"

"There's no vibe, Sean-"

"We're a family!"

"I know that. More than you will ever know, Sean."

Sean shut his mouth, and stared for a second or two before slumping his posture, backing down.

"Alex… I just… you haven't… even I put on a show, but you know… ugh! Alex, how did this happen? You never even said anything about it-"

"To get some 'in her pants' jokes thrown back at me? I don't even look at her like that…" he said faintly.

"Alex, I wouldn't do that-"

"Enough, Sean. Just… try not to put on your act so much. We all know who you really are already, there's no need to pretend."

"Like you're pretending you don't want to throw me down right now?"

Alex grinned, and Sean laughed.

"That's more like it, buddy. C'mon, let's go finish some Spiderman before we crash."