It didn't take that long to reach the woods. It was almost 2:45 by the time Gerard slowed down, hovering at the edge of the dark green mass of trees. He swayed back and forth on his feet, his hands in his pockets. He anxiously ran his hands through his hair feeling the worry building up once again in his throat and roll of his tongue in a harsh 'goddamit'. The wind carried his voice out of his lungs and he shivered, the cold digging into his bones.
This was always the hardest part. Diving headfirst into the thick forest, farther and farther until he was near the center, where no one could ever hear him scream. But it was better this way. This was the only way.
He took his first step of the journey, tucking his hands under his arms and watching his breath spiral in front of his face.
He never took these walks for granted. There were only a small number of moments where Gerard was truly alone in silence, far away from the world and left with his thoughts to keep him company. These walks were where he could bring all his troubles to mind, diagnose them all and prescribe a solution.
The first thing that came to mind was Frank. What had he seen? Had he seen the bruised eye? What did he think?
The last thing Gerard needed was someone caring about him. This was always the first step to disappointment. Getting close to people was dangerous and futile. And besides, it wasn't like she would even let anyone get close to him. Ever.
But that was the first time anyone had ever tried to help him like that. Frank had actually dragged Gerard to his house and let him sleep there, and they'd only known eachother for a week or so.
He walked further and further through the trees and grass. Moisture hung in the air and the air only got colder and more stinging. His legs grew tired and sore, his feet ached and he only wished for someone to carry him the rest of the way. Like Frank had carried him earlier today. His arm around my shoulders and his warm body helping me pathetically limp over to his living room couch. But these were all useless thoughts, thoughts that would only lead to suffering. Thoughts that Gerard had sworn to rid himself of, ever since...
"Finally."
She was here.
Gerard cringed as he felt the wind stop in its tracks, switch directions and panic as a new force grew in the air.
"What took you so long?" The voice repeated, getting less distant and deeper. "I've been so alone, Gerard. So alone without you." Suddenly the voice was closer now, right in front of his face, between his eyes, staring at him with anger in its irises and longing behind its teeth.
"Don't let me feel alone." Gerard closed his eyes as the voice reached inside his head and filled his skull, rattling against his eardrums and making him cringe with pain. This was always the worst part. When she got inside his head and whispered things, told him things he didn't want to know.
"I'm sorry," he muttered, letting out a gasp when she finally loosened her grip and left his head aching and empty. "I didn't mean to."
"Well you're here now," she said. Her voice was beside him now, her breath on his neck and soft kisses landing on his chilled skin.
He opened his eyes to see she had appeared next to him, just as he thought. Her hair was longer than it had been before. Her eyes were a bright and transparent blue, surrounded by black like charcoal that seemed to be permanently etched there, not applied everyday in a mirror.
She raised her head from his neck and smiled to terrifying smile, showing the sharp teeth that reflected the moonlight and made Gerard feel sick again.
"Did you bring me a drawing?" she whispered, leaning forward and kissing his still lips, that reluctantly pressed forward and shaped around her mouth, letting her tongue in to explore as she liked. She tasted like blood.
He leaned back for a moment to nod his head, while she caressed his chin and dipped her eyes at him like a puppy dog. She was so beautiful it made him sick. Her skin was white and ghostly, her lips darkened and stained red by the sinning they'd done, the death they'd tasted. Her dark hair poured in waves down her shoulders and fell over her eyes in little wisps.
She smiled while Gerard pulled the drawing out and showed it to her with fake enthusiasm.
"You drew my nose different. I like it," she grinned and ran her fingers over the ink, drinking in the paper reflection, eyes dancing. "I'lll put it in the box."
She took Gerard's hand in hers and led him over to their tree. She leaned over and searched for the small gap in the foliage where their secrets were hid in a small metal container. She stopped dead in her tracks.
The air grew even colder.
She flipped her head around and her eyes were red now, eyebrows furrowed forward and her fangs extended slightly.
"W-what's wrong?" he tried to hide his fear. She hated when he was afraid. He had learnt that the hard way. She stood back up slowly.
"Someone moved the leaves."
"What?"
"THE LEAVES ARE NOT HOW WE LEFT THEM LAST TIME. SOMEONE WENT THROUGH OUR STUFF!" Her voice was in his head again, scratching at the walls and making him scream.
He fell to the floor, his hands over his ears and his eyes slammed shut. Her voice was a shriek now.
"DID YOU TELL SOMEONE ABOUT US?"
"No! I would never!" He cried, feeling the pain reach down through his nerves and to the rest of his body. He knew what he had to do to get this to stop.
He forced his eyes opened and tried not to puke at the scene he was met with. She was walking closer to him, her hair blowing in every direction, leaves swirling around her like a tornado while her voice echoed through his bones. The red in her irises burned him to look at. But he forced his attention to them and clenched his fists.
"I would never do that..." he cringed the next word. "...darling."
He shut his eyes again and waited for the effects to take place. Waited for sweet deliverance. And finally, the wind calmed. The leaves fell and he could breathe again, he could think again.
And he felt her beside him.
"Darling?" He could tell she was smiling. She pressed her soft body against his, filling him with regret and guilt. He knew what came next.
"Yes. Darling," he swallowed. He wanted to keep his eyes closed, but she forced them open with sheer will. He saw her eyes had returned to blue. But they were slowly changing to purple. To red. To pink.
She ran her hands under his shirt and up to touch his stomach. Her nails were sharp and threatening and he just stood there and let it happen.
She brought her hips against his, and pressed forward. He hated the fact that his body responded in the way it did. Eager and willing to play. He grew hard against her thigh and he felt drained. Used. Unresponsive.
She kept moving against him, harder and slower while they edged towards a tree and he felt his back press up against mossy bark.
"Touch me," she hissed. He took his shaking hands and placed them where she wanted. He felt her body against his and how familiar it was, it almost felt like home.
What a fucked up home.
She purred and began unbuttoning his pants, her hands greedy and desperate. Every move, every breath was pained. Gerard felt sicker than he had at all today. This was wrong.
But it felt so right. It felt amazing. She was pulling on Gerard's dick and making him grow warm and he hated it. He tried not to show that he felt good, but his body was enjoying itself while his heart and his mind were praying for it to be over. He felt his hips thrust forward into her hands and he choked on his groans.
The worst part was that only years before, this situation would have been wonderful. He had loved her and had wanted nothing else but this. But things were different now. She was different now. And this only brought back old sad memories.
She shed her clothing and moved forward gasping while he went inside her and felt enveloped in guilt. Little short breaths were exchanged for a few minutes. Some muttered 'fucks' and moans and then it was all over. Gerard blacked out the rest from his head as he pulled his boxers back up and buttoned his jeans and felt emptier than before.
Her eyes were blue again.
"I love you so much, Gee. Did you bring me food?"
She was still naked and he couldn't help but stare. She was gorgeous. He remembered the first time he saw her like this in his bedroom. She had been embarrassed and nervous and he was too. He had told her that he loved her and they had kissed and moaned and loved each other. But now all that was left was this.
"...Gee?"
"Oh," he was brought back to surface. "No, I forgot it. But I can bring it tomorrow."
There was a flash of red in her eyes that quickly fled. Thank God.
"That's fine, honey," she smiled, finally pulling a shirt over her head. "I'm sorry I got mad at you. The wind probably just blew the leaves out of place. I'll put the drawing in there after I'm done admiring it."
Gerard stared at the ground and shuffled his feet.
"Well, I gotta go, okay?"
Her smile fell and suddenly she was right in front of him, her arms around his shoulders. She kissed him softly. "I'll see you tomorrow. I love you."
And then she was gone.
And Gerard was standing alone in the forest, like nothing had happened.
He turned around and started his way back home.