Wounds
It seemed to take forever for the healers to arrive. As Alex dismounted her mare, one of Odin's ravens whipped overhead in the direction of the palace, taking news of Loki's return. Thor wrapped him in his scarlet cloak and cradled him, murmuring reassurances while Alex dithered on the sidelines, taking a few steps closer then backing away again.
She heard one of the guards muttering about Loki's skin, and Thor cast him a cold glare. "He must be wounded grievously to have reverted to his Jotun form." The words seemed to be aimed at Alex. She came closer, close enough she could feel the chill radiating from Loki.
"Be careful," she warned. Where Thor's bare arm touched Loki's the skin was slowly turning black.
"It'll heal," Thor responded, anxiously watching Loki's face for any signs of life. "I've never seen him in this form."
"I have," she said quietly. "Only a few times. I thought it was a disguise he'd deliberately put on to scare someone away. Now, I suppose he didn't even realise he was doing it, and I didn't know this was what a frost giant was supposed to look like." His skin was a real, deep blue, not the tinge a human would bear in prolonged cold, though it was scattered with patches so dark they were almost black. Bruises, she supposed. There were ridges across his body, deep patterns over his face, torso and limbs, even if they were bisected by cuts and rips in his flesh. Some of the wounds were already healed, thin white lines that subverted the symmetry of his natural markings. This had been a prolonged attack.
Thor was examining the wounds as well. She could only imagine how bad it was under the cloak. "In centuries, I've never seen him appear like this in battle."
"It was only when we were in serious danger. Mortal danger."
"When you were in danger," Thor surmised.
Loki shuddered in his arms, taking a shaky breath. Then he cracked his eyes open, just barely, just enough that she could see the red that covered them. It wasn't blood—there was an unearthly glow to them.
"Asta," he whispered.
"I'm here." She reached for him, despite his temperature, to lay her hand over his. Even after everything, she was compelled to offer him comfort in the pathetic state he was in. It couldn't last—she had to jerk away after a few seconds, the cold too biting.
"Stupid girl," Loki hissed. "Can't touch me…like this…"
She settled instead for brushing the hair out of his face, cringing at the way it was matted with his own blood and how her hand came away slick with fresh, wet blood. Behind them she could hear the urgent thunder of horse hooves, gradually getting closer.
"Who did this?" Thor demanded.
"Thanos."
"You knew. You knew he would do this to you."
"It doesn't matter." His eyes slid shut again, hiding the crimson glow.
Odin and a dozen healers surrounded them, and Thor was persuaded to lay Loki back on the bridge. They were pushed aside so the healers could have full access to him, stripping the cloak away to apply poultices and bandages. Alex had to turn away when she saw the extent of the wounds on his torso, the world spinning around her—a human would have been killed by even one of those injuries.
When the blood flow had been stemmed, Loki was hoisted onto a stretcher between two horses, and they set off as a procession back towards the palace. The quickly swelling crowds were kept back from the Bifrost, with more guards arriving to manage the curious people. She kept to Thor's side, glad that Loki's body had been covered up again and what was visible of him was fading back to pink. He would have to work miracles to get the people of Asgard to accept him and trust him again, but that task would be impossible if they saw him in his Jotun form. All she'd read in the archives proved how deeply the frost giants were feared and hated.
Frigga met them at the palace gates and Alex found herself swept along in the entourage accompanying Loki to the infirmary, Frigga gripping one hand and Thor holding her other arm. Odin murmured something to Frigga and strode away, leaving them in a softly lit room while Loki was hauled in for whatever passed for surgery here.
"He'll recover," the queen said, as if she were trying to comfort Alex. "He's survived this far."
"Oh, I know. It'd take more than this to defeat Loki."
One of the healers came out to check Thor's frostbitten arm and her palm—Thor was hauled away for treatment but she escaped with only a foul-smelling salve applied to her skin. Frigga made plenty of enquiries of the healers that came and went, but even with the queen they were terse, giving minimal information. Hours passed, Thor returning with his arm bandaged, before they trooped out and left. One stern-faced woman made a beeline for Frigga.
"Eir, what news have you?" the queen asked.
"He is resting. We have done everything we are able, it is his own body that must do the rest of the work from here. He is lucky that Jotun physiology is so similar to ours, or we'd have been at a loss to assist."
"Can we see him?"
Eir's mouth flattened into a disapproving line but she obviously decided it would be imprudent to say no to the queen. "Of course, if he is given peace."
They followed the healer into the room beyond, which was completely different to any hospital ward Alex had ever seen. It was clad in the same marble as the rest of the palace and lit by torches and the sunshine diffused through high, narrow windows. It lacked beeping machinery, fluorescent strip lights or industrial white walls, and was altogether more welcoming for it. Loki lay in the centre on a wide bed, sheets only covering him to the waist. It still didn't leave much visible flesh, with the vast amount of bindings on his wounds. He was pale again, but the white of his skin just emphasised how much blood he'd lost. Violent purple bruises marred what the bandages didn't cover, and his eyes were so sunken the circles underneath them matched.
Frigga took one side of the bed, gripping Loki's hand firmly in hers, and Thor sat beside her, covering clutching both their hands in his massive paw. That left Alex to sit on the other side of the bed. She couldn't have held Loki's other hand even if she wanted to; it was swathed in blood-darkened linen. Instead, she clasped hers together and rested them on the sheet, choosing to watch the wall rather than his face.
He shifted in his sleep, tilting his head and chest towards his mother. She couldn't hear the words he murmured, but Frigga leaned closer. "She's here," she whispered in reply. Both the queen and Thor lifted their gaze to Alex, a weight of expectation in them, the same expectation Thor had displayed when he first discovered who Loki was. No matter what Loki had done, or who he'd done it to, while he was in this state it no longer mattered to them. He was calling out for her at his weakest, and for them, that wiped the slate clean. Loki had done his penance and earned, in their eyes, the right to forgiveness.
She couldn't help colouring under such hopes, pretending to find her fingernails endlessly fascinating. For her, it could never be so simple.
Time dragged. Eir came by to check on the patient every so often, but the set of her mouth convinced Alex she was checking they weren't throwing a rowdy party at Loki's bedside. She peeled back bandages and applied ointments, tutting or nodding approvingly at whatever she found. Alex rummaged through her memory for references to Eir in all the reading she'd done and discovered she was the Norse Goddess of Healing; that probably meant she was chief healer or something similar. She certainly acted like it, and it would make sense that she was the one treating Loki. Only the best for a prince of the realm.
Whenever she trotted away, it would take time for Loki to settle back down, though he never fully awoke. Every time he uttered his fevered murmurings, all too quiet for her to hear, except when he was crying out for Asta.
The first time Loki woke up long enough to open his eyes, Eir forced a potion down his throat that knocked him out cold again. The second time, she sent for Odin.
While they waited for the Allfather, Frigga bent low over Loki, whispering to him, peppering kisses on his face between phrases. Alex scooted back to provide them even more privacy. Thor tracked her movement but said nothing, keeping his arm around his mother while she comforted Loki.
Odin arrived with little fanfare, appearing wearier than Alex had ever seen him. He strode to the space she'd vacated and Frigga moved back to her chair so Loki had a clear view of the king.
"Did he believe it?" he asked.
"Yes," Loki croaked. "It worked."
"Very well. We can discuss the details in more depth when Eir permits." So even the Allfather was subject to Eir's orders. He didn't congratulate Loki or comment on the damaged state he'd returned in. Frigga's seemed to notice too, as the look she gave her husband was not impressed. He reached inside his robe and retrieved a scroll. "I have one more matter to deal with. You made an offer to the girl?"
"She has a name," Loki whispered.
"She was concerned at the validity of the magic you used to bind the contract, so I have drawn up another. All you need to do is provide your seal."
Loki exhaled, a long, rattling breath, then gave an exhausted smile. "Of course." He didn't even look at her, but gestured for the scroll with his one good hand. Odin handed him a small wooden object which he pressed to the paper, before Odin pulled it away and handed the scroll to Alex. She saw up close that a disk of green wax with a horn insignia sat at the bottom of the page. Loki's seal; his agreement to be bound by the magic Odin had invoked.
"Thor, you are required in the council," Odin said, turning to leave the room. Thor kissed his mother goodbye and bowed to Alex before following, the weariness his father wore echoed on his own face and posture.
Silence fell and Alex was all too aware of the shift in the atmosphere. "I didn't mean…" she said, staring down at the words she held in her hand, the promises Loki had made to her. "I didn't know he'd do it like this."
"It matters not," Loki said. He seemed to struggle to find the energy to get the words out. "We are equally bound by it now."
And she was. She had a sudden moment of feeling like she'd made a misstep; as if she'd been making her way down a staircase and miscounted the number of steps, tumbling into thin air as the ground she expected to meet her wasn't there. She was on Asgard until the war was over, however long that would take, and there was nothing to keep Loki away from her.
If Frigga was curious about the promises her son had made, she kept it quiet, smoothing his hair away from his face.
Eir returned, shooing Alex away from the spot she was in, which was blocking access to vital medical supplies. She found herself back by his bedside while Eir removed more bandages and cleaned his skin where the wounds had healed over. It left both of his hands free and when the healer left, just before he drifted off to sleep, he found hers. His grip wasn't tight enough to be painful but even when unconscious he was too strong to pull away from. He lifted their entwined hands together to rest on his chest and she could feel his heartbeat thudding through his skin. Just like all the times she'd slept with her head resting there, warm skin to warm skin, listening to the rhythm of his pulse.
Alex didn't want to wake up. She was tired as she'd ever been, her neck throbbing, and all she wanted to do was roll over and burrow herself into Loki's side. The only really warm part of her was where he held her hand to his bare skin—she could sense him close, smell him, hear him breathe, but must have rolled away in the night, because that was the only place they touched.
As her brain did a better assessment of her surroundings, moving beyond Loki, she realised she wasn't in bed at all. She was just leaning against it, the downy cloud of a pillow beneath her cheek, but she sat in a chair. The awkward angle was why her neck hurt.
Summoning all her willpower, she cracked her eyes open, finding Loki only a handspan away, sharing the pillow. Except his hair was longer than she'd ever seen it, touching his shoulders, and his face was littered with cuts and bruises and—
The last of sleep disappeared and she sat up straight, ignoring her neck's protests. There was no sign of Frigga or Thor, though she could hear someone moving around beyond the room. Loki's amused gaze tracked her movements.
"So you do care after all," he said. The last remnants of sleep still haunted his voice, making it low and raspy. He lifted their clasped hands and brushed his lips over fingers, his eyes glittering with promises.
She tugged them away and he allowed it. She could lie to him, tell him that she didn't care about him at all, that she'd just been remembering a man long gone. Trouble was, it would be truly cruel to do him the state he was in, and cruelty wasn't her style. It would be a cheap blow he'd probably see through anyway. "I never said I didn't."
He might not be capable of a full smirk, but he couldn't keep the victory out of his eyes. Even so, it was a wistful victory, one he wasn't sure of. "And that, Asta, makes all this worthwhile." He made a vague sweeping gesture of his injuries.
"So you knew he was going to do this to you."
"Of course."
"And you have the nerve to call me stupid."
The old mask was back in place, shielding whatever he really felt from her. "I had hoped you would believe it to be recklessly brave. That's usually why I feel the need to insult your intelligence."
"I've never deliberately headed off to get tortured."
Loki managed a shrug. "I escaped, as was the plan. Thanos is an amateur at torture. He could have cut the tendons that enabled me to walk but focused all his attention on my upper body. All I had to do was wait for the perfect moment."
"Which was?"
"When he announced he was about to render me incapable of fathering children." He gave a sharp laugh which turned into a rattling cough, while she buried her face in her hands.
"That's not funny."
"Less so if I'd failed in my attempt to flee. He did give me the added incentive of bringing your name into it."
"Don't."
"Don't what? If there's one part of our relationship where I would always be able to keep you satisfied, despite my other inadequacies, it's that. He never intended to kill me. He wanted to make sure I was so broken I didn't see the point in ever trying to escape."
"I'm not going to throw myself into your arms and then fall into bed with you, whatever you think."
"And here I thought I could persuade you to kiss me all better."
She gave a dramatic sigh. "Whatever medication they have you on must be messing with your brain."
"I know what I want, Asta." She didn't bother correcting the name. He probably thought he was being sweet in using it.
Exhaustion suddenly came crashing down, threatening to suffocate her. "I need to sleep." He patted the empty mattress beside him and she shook her head, standing up. "In my own bed."
"Come visit me?" he called out as she reached the door. She paused. It was only a matter of time before Frigga implored her to anyway.
"It's not like I have anything better to do," she replied without looking back. She didn't need to. Loki wouldn't take her words as an insult—he'd only see the victory in them.
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