BPOV

Chapter 1

My life is officially over. I have absolutely nothing. Why do I struggle keeping guys in my life? First Edward and then Jacob? What the hell is wrong with me? I remember the first day my life started going down hill. Just before Renée moved to England because Phil quit baseball and, just after my birthday.

"Bella come for a walk with me" I knew there was something wrong and this wasn't a normal stroll in the woods and honestly I'd had enough of him giving me the silent treatment.

"Okay let's talk." My voice sounded stronger than I was feeling inside.

"Bella we're leaving." My heart felt like it had stopped beating and I was suddenly struggling for breath but, I just had to torture myself that little bit more.

"When you say we –"

"I mean my family and me." His voice was cold, empty and it hurt me to hear him like this.

"Okay I'll come with you." I had to try if I gave up now there was nothing left for me.

"I don't want you to come with me" His voice was set and it left no room for argument.

"You don't want me?" I was confused to say the least.

"No." Everytime he said he loved me, that I was everything to him. It was all a lie.

"Well that changes things." My voice was strong and didn't sound anything like how I was feeling.

"Just promise me you won't do anything reckless and stupid."

"I'm not going to promise you anything but, if you think that I am going to kill myself just because you're leaving, you have another thing coming." I kind of agreed but I didn't want him to think that he could own me.

"Then I'll make you a promise. I promise this is the last time you'll ever see me. I won't come back. It will be as though I never existed." With that he was gone. Of all the things to promise me, it was something I didn't want.

I had spent hours looking for him before my legs finally gave out and I was found curled up on the forest floor by Sam Uley; the same person that made my life hell for the second time and made it so it was possible for me to actually feel like giving up. That day was one of the worst days I ever had; the worst was Edward leaving, the second when Jacob did the same. It was just as clear in my memory as Edward going.

I had just got out of my truck to see if Jacob was feeling any better. It was pouring down and as I made my way to the door I saw him heading off into the woods.

"Jake! Hey!" He stopped to look at me and I was stunned at how different he looked "You cut your hair off? And got a tattoo?"

"Bella." He just said my name and it started to get me angry.

"I thought you were too sick to come outside or pick up the phone when I called?"

"Go away." Nice comeback wise ass.

"What?" I knew exactly what he said but why would he want me to leave?

"Go away." He repeated as if I were stupid

"What happened to you, what's wrong?" He started to turn away from me and I wasn't having that so I grabbed his arm and spun him to look at me. "Hey! What happened?" and then it clicked.

"Did Sam get to you? Is that what's happening"

"Sam's trying to help me, don't blame him, but if you want somebody to blame how about those filthy bloodsuckers you love… the Cullens" Him just saying there name hurt me and I could feel the hole in my chest begin to ripple. How did he know?

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, you've been lying to everyone, Charlie, Renee, your friends, but you can't lie to me, not anymore Bella." Behind the anger I could see a deep sadness and I started to feel guilty.

"Jacob!" I looked behind to see Sam's cult watching. Nope I don't feel guilty anymore.

"Look Bella we can't be friends anymore" I knew I shouldn't have started to let people in again. It was only going to get us both hurt.

"Look Jake I know that I've been hurting you its killing me, it kills me, I just need some time." That was a lie I don't think I'd ever be able to get over him.

"Don't. Its not you."

"Its not you it's me right? Really?" Cliché much?

"It's true, it is me, I'm not good, I used to be. A good kid. Not anymore. This doesn't even matter alright, its over" No not again.

"You can't break up with me. I mean, you're my best friend, you promised me." He had once said he promised not to hurt me and this was slowly killing me.

"I know, I promised I wouldn't hurt you Bella, and this is me keeping that promise, so go home, and don't come back, because your gonna get hurt." With that he walked off into the tree line with his cult and I was left standing in the rain until Billy came out and told me he'd called Charlie and said that I was on my way home. I knew that it was all over for me now, I had fuck all so I guess it didn't matter if I broke the promise to Edward he'd already broken his, he broke it as soon as he'd said it. It was impossible to be as if he never existed, he may have taken my photos, my gifts, he can even take away himself and my –his –our family but, I will always remember him, because he is the only boy I have ever loved. Jacob was my best friend and was able to pull me out of the black pit I was stuck in but Edward was my life.

"Bella? Bella? BELLA!" I jumped, startled out of the memories to find Charlie seated across from me looking worried. I could feel a few stray tears sliding down my face and quickly wiped them off.

"Sorry dad, I was just thinking." He sighed and looked at me with such pity it made my heart hurt.

"Look, dad, I've been thinking. I love it here, it's my home but, maybe I need a change of scenery, get out from under my own depressed cloud and try to sort myself out for a while. I think I might go and stay with mom for a bit."

"That's a good idea Bells, I love you and don't want you to leave but I think you need to. Take as much time as you need. I'll get the ticket and you go ahead and call your mother." I did and she was fine with it, Charlie got me tickets for a first class seat in two days. I wasn't going to school. I was just going to pack up all my shit and go. I'd leave dad to tell everyone, he wouldn't mind and honestly I couldn't find it in myself to care even if he did.