Hehe, your reviews make my day!
No!
Must… not… be complacent…. Need to… keep up the qualityyyy…. And I think the condoms are gonna appear. If they don't, my bad, I can't really control what I write.
Kuroko yawned quietly as the sunlight streamed in and blinded him. He had been so stupid to forget to close the window yesterday.
Then again, yesterday he and Kagami both did some pretty stupid things. There was a stifling warm blanket draped over him and he tried to roll away from the heat source. He realized something was up when the blanket was too heavy to roll away from. Wearily, he opened his eyes and kicked Kagami off with some effort. It was his fault for falling asleep onto Kagami anyway.
Kagami hit the futon and also woke up, albeit slowly and painfully.
"Kuroko?" he muttered, "What th' hell was that for?"
"We need to wake up and go help Auntie with the wedding."
Kagami groaned and crawled up. As he stretched, he could hear his back crack loudly. As they dressed and washed, Kagami noticed with some annoyance the shower in the room.
"Why didn't you use this last night?"
"I wanted to relax a bit. I did not think they would be bold enough to attack me in public," Kuroko answered.
Kagami bristled at Kuroko's blank tone. He wasn't the one that had to play the hero and get him out of that mess yesterday.
In my opinion, I think we are friends.
Well, that also happened last night. Kagami looked over at Kuroko with that ridiculous bed-head and then sighed.
"Don't move," he said gruffly.
He walked over and began more or less clawing at the knots and cowlicks in Kuroko's hair. Kuroko yelped every once in a while, but let Kagami smooth down his hair.
"Jeez, your hair's longer than mine, so why does it stick up like this?"
"It just does that. My mother says it might be genetic, since no one else in the family has hair this messy."
Crap. Why did he always bring up stuff like this by accident? It was way too early in the morning to go over something like this.
"Your face must look quite stupid right now."
Kagami promptly ground a fist into Kuroko's skull. He shouldn't have been worried at all.
"Ow. Kagami, stop that."
He stopped and a loud growl from his stomach told Kuroko that his Light was hungry.
"Let's meet my parents downstairs."
"Got it, got it."
As they laced up their shoes, Kagami felt that after this trip, he's have this sort of permanent aversion to using the word "family" around Kuroko. How did Kuroko stand all this sort of hatred and violence from his family? He couldn't believe all this was happening while he was in middle school as well.
Hating basketball, losing Aomine, resigning from the basketball team, his mom having an abusive boyfriend- life must've been hell on earth for him during those years.
"What are you thinking about, Kagami?" Kuroko asked as they tromped down the stairs.
"Huh?"
"Never mind," Kuroko said.
He turned away with a little smile. Kagami was like an open book. Having a friend and a team that cared about you was nice. The coach was evil, but it was obvious that the team was her life.
High school felt like Heaven compared to middle school.
They turned into the dining area and Kagami's expression immediately went sour.
"Kagami, it is impolite to look so blatantly disgusted."
"C'mon, can you blame me?"
Takaya and a handful of other older relatives glared at Kuroko and Kagami from a single table. There were even some kids (mostly little boys trying to be "cool") sticking their tongues out at the two.
"Tet-chan~! Over here!"
In the corner were his parents, Aunt Fumiko, and even Reya-san. He tugged on Kagami's sleeve.
"Let's go," he muttered, pulling Kagami away. Knowing Kagami, it wouldn't be long before someone provoked him into a brawl.
As they went past The Table of Hostility and Awkwardness, a particularly nasty little boy jabbed Kuroko in the ribs.
"Get away! Takaya-sama doesn't want to be near the trash!"
Kuroko kicked a heel into Kagami's shin and leaned forward to stare at the boy with a strange look of blankness and wonder.
"Takaya-san, how did you get the children to call you with a 'sama'?"
"Call him Takaya-sama!" the boy shouted. Kagami decided enough was enough and pulled back Kuroko. His leg was still smarting from that earlier blow.
"Kagami, please do not hit a child."
"Do you really trust me that little?!"
"You have my full trust in basketball. Other matters are due some more concern."
"Whatever! Hey, kid?"
Bravely, the boy stared straight back into Kagami's eyes. Kagami made an utterance of approval and ruffled the boy's head, to the boy's surprise.
"You've got guts, kid! You could probably do way better in basketball than hanging out with this jerk you know?"
The boy gaped as Kagami marched off with Kuroko.
"You actually handled that with some tact," Kuroko said.
Kagami looked at Kuroko, annoyed.
"I thought he'd be some mindless little kid, hanging around an older sibling to act cool, but he doesn't smell that weak. He seriously believes whatever crap you cousin told him."
They went to the line to get their food and then sat down at Fumiko's table.
"Sorry about that," Fumiko said apologetically.
Kuroko shook his head.
"It's nothing, Auntie."
"How'd you sleep last night?" Kuroko's father said heartily, slinging an arm around Kuroko's shoulders.
"I slept well. Kagami snores though."
"Hey!"
"Tetsuya, why is Kagami-kun hurt?"
Kagami gulped. Like mother, like son. She was also super observant it seemed.
"He slipped in the baths. Kagami's actually quite clumsy."
Kagami exhaled and touched his bandaged fingers.
"By the way, Kuroko, you haven't really met Reya it seems!"
Fumiko's fiancé smiled shyly and shook hands with Kuroko.
"Nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you as well."
Reya fidgeted a bit and started the conversation when Kuroko said nothing.
"Ah, Kuroko-kun, Fumiko's said a lot about you. Well, she also said a lot about her family. I didn't think they'd be this scary though."
"As long as you treat Auntie well, you should be fine."
"I know. You play basketball, right? What position?"
"I am… it is hard to explain. Kagami is our team ace though," he said, deftly changing the subject.
Reya turned to Kagami.
"Really? That's quite admirable," Reya said.
"Does Reya-san also play basketball?"
"Ah, no way," he said with a laugh, "I'm way too weak for sports. I do know a little here and there though. Apparently that Takaya person over there plays basketball."
That was some new information.
"Er, well, I'm going to be your uncle-in-law soon. I'm not sure if I'm prepared for that! From what Fumiko has told me, you seem like a wonderful child. I really want to be a good uncle!"
"You should focus on being a good father first."
"That's right; sorry about that."
"It is fine."
Kagami glanced at Kuroko and noticed that Kuroko seemed less tense. It was hard to explain how he knew, but the team had picked up a general feeling after a while on Kuroko's moods.
Right now, Kuroko gave off the feeling of being 'more relaxed', compared to his usual mood. For some reason, Kagami also felt good about talking to Reya. There was something about him that calmed people down. He was pleasant company in general. Kagami scowled as Takaya leaned back on his seat, gesturing for Reya to come over.
"Oh, I should probably introduce myself to the others, huh. Sorry Fumiko, gotta be polite," he said and gave Fumiko a quick peck on the lips before leaving the table.
Fumiko sighed happily as Reya walked away.
"So, Kuroko, what do you think?"
"You are very lucky Auntie. I am surprised no one else took him."
"That's good! If you said he sucked, I would've called off the wedding no matter how painful it might've been!"
Kagami stared at the two of them in shock.
"Whoa, Kuroko, what's going on here?!"
"Quiet down, Kagami."
"C'mon Tet-chan, anybody would be surprised to hear that!"
She leaned over and gave Kuroko a sloppy hug, much to her younger sister's disapproval.
"Sister, you really shouldn't rely on Kuroko that much."
"What? But Lil' Sis, he's amazing at this kind of stuff!"
"I know, I know. I wonder sometimes why Kuroko has that kind of talent instead of me," she said, defeated. She glanced at her husband who smiled back.
Kagami was at a loss. Kuroko was actually blushing in embarrassment at the indirect praise from his family, or whatever they were talking about.
"Please Auntie; I really do not want to explain this to Kagami."
"Don't worry Tet-chan, I'll explain for you."
She looked at Kagami, a wicked gleam in her eyes.
"You see, Kagami-kun, Tet-chan is an amazing bullshit and jerk detector. If you show him a jerk or if someone is lying, ninety-nine percent of the time he can tell. You should've seen my little sister's boyfriends; most of them lasted a few months at most!"
Kagami slowly turned to face Kuroko, who was understandably embarrassed.
"That's… kinda creepy."
Kuroko's expression turned blank again and he pinched Kagami's arm.
"Ow! What did I say?!"
"I am glad Kagami is so dense."
Kagami growled and began shoveling down his food. Kuroko ignored Kagami and began eating as well.
Fumiko and the others stared as Kagami's plates began to pile up. Kuroko meanwhile was still nursing his first plate.
"Kagami-kun, you eat a lot," Fumiko commented quietly.
"Hm? Oh, I'm just usually hungry."
She laughed nervously.
"W-well, try to not to eat out my wedding!"
Kuroko tapped Kagami's shoulder.
"I do not think Auntie is lying."
"I can't eat that much!"
After a while, the whole group piled into an array of mismatched cars and drove back to the farm. The drive was mostly uneventful, and Kuroko took the chance to just relax. Breakfast had set his nerves on the edge, and he wanted to unwind.
"Okay, while we're in the car, let's plan," Fumiko said.
Kuroko nodded while Kagami jumped with surprise and noisily voiced his assent.
"Tet-chan, Kagami-kun; I want you two to set up the candles and prepare the wedding favors."
Reya gave his girlfriend a worried look.
"Are you sure?"
"They both look pretty strong."
"I'm not talking about the candles, I'm-"
"Don't worry Reya!"
"Auntie?"
"Oi, Kuroko, what's your aunt talking about?"
Fumiko kept her eyes on the road and continued giving instructions.
"For the wedding favors, just spread them all over the dining table. Do it evenly though. The candles are going to be strung over the table using the trees, so be careful not to knock down any un-ripe apples, okay? The owner says he doesn't want to lose any of the fruit."
"Auntie, you said you saw a nice, plain, grassy area that was very big. Why not use that place to eat?"
"We've got something planned there, right Reya?"
"It's going to blow your mind. There's only a few though," he said with some disappointment.
"Hey, they said any more and it could be dangerous."
"I know."
He sounded almost like he was whining. Kuroko shot Kagami an uncharacteristically worried glance.
"Will we have a ladder for the candles?"
"Oh, yeah, check the barn for one. The owner says there's also a really long one for trimming tall trees."
Kuroko looked out the window again tried to take his mind off any lingering doubts. He tried counting trees or played the usual games that people without books or games did on car rides. They soon pulled up onto the farm grounds and everyone scattered to their designated areas. The apple orchard took a good five minutes to walk to, while gravel and dust from uneven roads clouded their vision and dirtied their shoes.
There weren't any plates or cutlery set on the tables yet, and there were plastic covers draped over all everything. They went from table to table, pulling off the covers. When they were done, Kuroko gazed almost absentmindedly at the dining décor. Even without plates and knives, or flowers, what was already there was charming and showed good taste. The tablecloths were white with an uneven and raised pink flower trim. There was matching cloth on the chairs and fake cherry blossom petals and flowers scattered over the tabletops. A big white bow adorned the back of each chair. The legs of the tables and chairs were matching, with elegantly scrolled ends that resembled seashells propping up the furniture.
Kuroko wondered why his aunt didn't just spread the flowers until right before the wedding, but he dropped the petty issue. He picked up one of the champagne pink candles in frosted glass holders and began trying to make out various objects through the translucent material. The glass had small flowers cut into it, and there were more tiny flowers visible in the clear parts of the layered candles.
"Kuroko, stop daydreaming! Help me out!"
"Yes," he replied, and put the candle back. He hurried over to Kagami who was trying to open the taped cardboard boxes.
"I can't get it off dammit!"
Kuroko scanned the ground for a sharp stone and found one in under a minute.
"Get out of the way."
Kagami backed off, and Kuroko cut the tape with the rock.
"Finally!"
Kagami went back over and opened the box. To Kuroko's amusement, he screeched and jumped away.
"W-what the hell?!"
Curious, Kuroko also peeked in the box.
"It's just candy," he called towards Kagami, "see, it says 'green-tea flavored'…" his voice trailed off.
He promptly dropped the thing and instead picked up the note inside the box.
"To whomever that sets these up: we don't want the kids to know about these, so hide them under the seat covers. Sincerely, the Bride to Be."
Silently, Kuroko ripped the paper into the shreds and dropped them onto the ground.
"This is going too far Auntie," Kuroko said to himself darkly.
Kagami, now mostly recovered, slowly inched up to the box again.
"Should we, get started then?"
Kuroko nodded. The two of them each grabbed a handful and with uneasy faces slipped one under the seat cover of a chair.
"Kuroko, these are-"
"Do not say it."
"These are-"
"Do not say it."
"These are-"
"No."
"THESE ARE CONDOMS!"
"Don't shout that out!" Kuroko screeched, his formal speech slipping for a moment.
"What the hell is wrong with your aunt?!"
"Auntie just has these quirks, but this is extreme even for her!"
"…Why did you think it was candy?"
Kuroko froze.
"I have only seen a condom once, and I have bad memories associated with the event."
Kagami, puzzled, with a twinge of worry looked at Kuroko.
"What the hell happened?"
Kuroko began to work faster, some irritation becoming visible on his face.
"It was in middle school. Aomine got a condom somehow and stuck it in my school uniform collar during the beginning of class. I walked around the whole day with that visible and I did not notice until Haizaki pointed it out as we were changing! He asked me if I had a girl and I did not even know what that thing was!"
Kagami burst out in laughter. He couldn't help it. Kuroko was actually worried about stuff like that? No one would've noticed it if they didn't notice him! Kuroko ran to the box and began pelting Kagami with handfuls of condoms.
"Shut up!" he shouted, his face turning red. His polite speech and calm demeanor had slipped again.
Kagami kept on laughing and held up his arms to ward off the barrage of condoms.
"No one would've noticed anyway!"
That seemed to make Kuroko even angrier.
"I thought so as well, but it turns out it brought attention to me! I found letters with… requests from female students and even some male students as well!"
"Damn! Aomine really got to you!"
"He apologized afterwards."
Kuroko stopped throwing stuff and went back to work. Aomine had actually apologized sincerely to him and promised he wouldn't do a trick like that ever again. He liked being in the background. It felt very safe and reassuring to be a bystander, and Aomine had so carelessly and effortlessly breached that wall.
Kagami was surprised at how quickly Kuroko's attitude had become clam and serene again. He was surprised at what he had heard. He always thought that Kuroko might've hated his lack of presence, but it seemed that he enjoyed it very much instead.
Soon, the box was empty and they had a condom under every seat cover. Kagami went over to the second, larger box and stared at it cautiously. Slowly, he cut the tape, then flipped up the cardboard flaps and averted his eyes. Kuroko peeked in and picked up one of the satiny bags inside.
"Cute," he murmured, as he opened the pouch to find a hairpin shaped like a tiny brown tree branch with little cherry blossoms of pink and yellow lacquer dotting the miniscule twigs. Kagami looked at it as well and somehow pieced two-and-two together.
"So, condoms for guys, hair things for girls, and what's for the kids?"
"Let's just put these out first."
This time they could actually follow Fumiko's instructions and scattered the bags evenly over the tables.
"Look here."
Kuroko turned his head just in time to have Kagami pin back a blue lock of his hair with the pin. Kagami took one look and burst into laughter for the second time in an hour and a half.
"You look like a girl!" he snorted. Kuroko pulled the pin out of his hair and frowned.
"Now that it's been in my hair, should we still put it out?"
"No one will care!"
Kuroko sighed and put it back into a bag and onto a table. The hair pins went by a lot faster. Then came the biggest box. It was full of small plastic containers full of bubble solution and wands attached to the lids. They spread them all out and were finally done.
The candles were something that Kuroko had not been looking forward to.
"We should put up the lines first and then clip on the candles."
"Good idea. I'll go get a ladder."
"Actually, get two. It will be faster to work separately."
"Got it."
Kuroko sat in one of the fancy chairs and waited as Kagami went. Briefly, he wondered if he should go help, but he decided to just wait in the end. The cut on his thigh itched, but he refrained from scratching it. He didn't want it to get infected. After a while, he looked up to see Kagami returning with two small ladders, each slung over a shoulder. Kuroko got up and ran over.
"Are you tired?"
"Yes," he gasped, dropping them roughly onto the ground. Kuroko wore an expression that annoyed Kagami for some reason. It was oddly… patronizing.
"You are stupid," Kuroko said, "You could have brought them each one by one."
"Well, we need to hurry, right? I don't want to stay here any longer than we have to or the coach will kill us!"
Kuroko sighed. A few minutes weren't going to have that big of an impact. Nevertheless, they set up the ladders and started stringing pieces of twine among the branches. The apples were still green, so Kuroko tried his best to avoid them like Fumiko said. Kagami was another story. By the time they had put up the lines, at least a dozen unripe apples dotted the ground.
Clipping on the small tea lights took only an hour and when they were done, Kuroko surveyed the scene with some self- satisfaction.
"Is your aunt good at decorating stuff or something?"
"She is a designer."
"Oh. Help me put the ladders back."
"Can you do it?"
"No. I had to go through that same extra training. I'm not doing any extra work."
Kuroko sighed and unceremoniously began dragging a ladder back to the barn. When they actually got there, there was a rather worrying situation.
The boy that was taunting Kuroko in the morning was perched on the roof of the barn, leaning over the edge as he tried to return a baby bird to its nest. Even Kuroko thought that that's a poor choice of real estate.
Takaya was down on the ground watching the scene with some other brainless relatives around his age.
"Careful, Yuki-kun!" he shouted. He faced his friends to laugh at the idealistic child behind his back. Kuroko felt his anger surge and he ran over and tightly gripped Takaya's shoulder.
"Takaya-san! We need to help," he said through gritted teeth. Takaya yells in disgust and flings Kuroko to the ground. Kagami felt his own fuse reach and end and he hurried over to help Kuroko up.
"Don't you dare treat him like that in front of me. He's right. We need to help the runt."
"What're you doing here?!"
"Yuki-kun, I am coming to help! Please be careful!"
"I don't need it!" Yuki yelled, right as he lost his balance and fell off the edge.
One hand clung to the roof for dear life while the other clutched the bird snugly. Kuroko's mind froze for an instant and he forgot what he was planning.
"Takaya-san, that bird is dead, am I not right?"
Takaya laughed.
"How'd you know?"
"Because you played the exact trick on me."
Takaya stopped mid-laugh and stared slack jaw as Kuroko pulled Kagami into the barn.
"A ladder! Find a long ladder!"
"You mean like this?"
He turned around and his face sagged in relief. The gleaming metal of the ladder reached the roof of the large barn. That meant it was still usable.
"I-I can't hold on for much longer!" Yuki wailed.
"Please hold on!" Kuroko screamed from inside the barn. "Trust me!"
A pause.
"Why should I?!"
Kuroko resisted the urge to kick the ladder as he lugged it out of the barn with Kagami.
"Man, he doesn't give up. It would be awesome if he could play basketball like that."
"Kagami!"
"Sorry."
"Yuki-kun! I have a ladder I'm going to put under you, alright?!"
"I'd rather fall than be saved by a jerk like you!"
Kuroko's blank expression cracked.
"For god's sake, do not be a fucking idiot and die here because of a person's stupid lies you damn idiot!" he roared.
Yuki obediently shut up and let Kuroko place the ladder under his feet. Kagami stared at Kuroko. Did Kuroko also have a clutch time like Hyuuga-senpai? Kuroko glared darkly at Kagami. Kagami gulped and lowered his gaze.
"What a freaking horrible day," Kagami muttered, "If it gets worse, I swear Kuroko is a bad luck charm."
"Ex-excuse me, Kuroko-nii?"
"Yes?" Kuroko asked amiably, his normal demeanor having returned.
"I'm af-afraid of heights."
Kuroko turned his gaze to Takaya. So that's why…
As he went to go up the ladder, he brushed past Kagami and whispered 'catch me' before climbing the rungs. As expected, Takaya and his lackeys gathered like ground ridden vultures around the base of the ladder. He climbed all the way to where Yuki was.
"Yuki-kun, I'm here."
"What was that about lies?"
"Takaya-san is lying to you."
"How do you know?"
"They played that dead bird trick on me as well."
"He said it was out cold."
"It is, in a way. Its corpse is out in the open and cold you could say."
"Oh. He told me you bullied him when he was younger."
"The opposite actually."
"Oh. I feel so stupid."
"You are."
"I can't say anything back to that."
"Please climb down and around me. I will move to the side of the ladder to give you space. I assure you that either I or Kagami will catch you."
Yuki sniffled.
"OK."
He slowly crawled his way down, and Kuroko let him go down first, since he was afraid he could pressure the boy and stress him out if he followed. The moment Yuki's feet touched the ground, Takaya threw his weight against the ladder and it toppled over.
Kuroko fell off, and Kagami darted forward. Amazingly, Kagami managed to safely catch Kuroko in his arms. They each shared expressions of shock, before Kagami's knees gave out and he dropped to the ground, still holding Kuroko.
"That… was a miracle," Kuroko muttered, pressing his face into Kagami.
Chapter end! I don't know what happened near the end…