Chapter 9

Elena was so confused, she couldn't understand why, after all these weeks he would show up acting as though he cared. Why he would look at her in that way that she had come to think she had been imagining, where his eyes were so soft and full of concern that it made her feel like the most special girl in the world.

It was ridiculous that she was even thinking about that. He didn't care. She had proof. She fumbled for the box under her bed and pulled it out. She opened the lid and stared at the contents. She picked up the note and the paper fluttered in her shaking fingers.

Stefan and Elena,

I hope you're both well.

Sorry to leave so suddenly, it was a spur of the moment sort of thing. Something came up and I had to take care of it, I'm going to stay on this side of the pond for a while, I had forgotten how much fun Europe can be…

Feel free to clean out my room and put it to good use.

Damon.

She shoved it back into the box and pushed it back under the bed. Grinding her teeth in rage. How dare he, how dare he come here and spout more lies, ruin her plans, save her when she didn't want to be saved.

Who the hell did he think he was? He didn't care, he never had, why would he? She was just the carbon copy of a girl who broke his heart.

She shook away the feeling of safety that she had had when he was here and quickly pulled off her wet clothes. She took a deep breath and closed her heart. Ignoring the pain, pretending it didn't exist.

She grabbed a ridiculously short dress from her closet and pulled it on. She stepped into a pair of heels and glanced at the time. She quickly smeared on some makeup and ran to her car. She needed to forget again. Needed to get rid of whatever ridiculous feelings and notions Damon's reappearance had brought up. She needed people to look at her the way she deserved, superficial desire, indifference, rudeness. Those were things she could deal with. But genuine care… that only led to pain; she couldn't let herself even think about that.

She drove through the dark streets until she reached the club. The bouncer allowed her through and she immediately downed three shots. Glancing around at the people, she noticed the men's appreciative glances and the girl's derisive whispers.

She jumped up and moved to the center of the dance floor, swaying her hips seductively. A couple of the guys joined her, grinding against her body.

Damon walked into the boarding house and knew instantly that Stefan wasn't there. From what he could tell, he hadn't been for a while. He swallowed his dread and kicked open the door to his brother's room. He was relieved to see that things were missing. At least he had left on his own accord; he didn't want to have to worry about Stefan as well.

What was clear was that he had been away for a lot longer than he had thought.

Deciding that there was nothing more to be learned here, Damon headed back towards Elena's house. He wasn't sure if he would go in or just stay outside, making sure she didn't hurt herself.

The decision was made for him when he saw her running down the porch steps dressed in very un-Elena-like clothes. She got into her car and sped away, he quickly followed.

He frowned when she headed towards the dodgy area of town. He watched silently as she parked and walked into Mystic Falls' only club: a complete dive.

Elena wrapped her arms around a guy's neck and pressed her hips against his. He ran his hands over her body, crudely groping her.

The sight of these disgusting men putting their filthy hands all over Elena filled Damon with rage.

As one guy slipped a hand up her top he was roughly pulled away from her. She gasped in surprise.

Damon gave the guy a shove and grabbed Elena's arm. He led her away from the crowd of people. She pulled away from him.

"What the hell are you doing?" She complained.

He looked at her sharply.

"I am getting you the hell out of this dump."

She backed away from him.

"What's the matter Damon? You disapprove?" She slurred. "You think you can just turn up after all these weeks and order me around? I can do whatever I want."

He watched her sadly, wondering how in the world it had come to this.

"But you don't want this Elena. These guys, they're just using you. Can't you see that?" He said.

"Maybe I want them to use me, have you ever thought of that?" She countered angrily,

He winced at her words.

She moved closer to him, wrapping an arm around his neck and pressing herself against him like she had with the other guy.

A part of her felt wrong doing this with Damon, but she ignored it, focusing on instant gratification, living without acknowledging your emotions was a lot easier.

"You always wanted to fuck me right? Well here you go…take me. I'm all yours, I don't care." She murmured, her face inches from his. "In fact I bet it would be a lot of fun!"

She looked up at him suggestively and pushed one of her legs between his.

He swallowed. She smiled.

"See. You want me…just don't pretend to care about me."

She looked up at him drunkenly.

"Go ahead Damon. Use me. You know you want to."

He stared at her with hurt in his eyes.

"Elena…" He began. "What happened to you?"

The words hit her like a bucket of iced water.

Everything she was hiding from broke the restraints and overwhelmed her. All the pain, self-loathing, confusion and hurt were unbearable. She yanked her body away from his.

"What happened to me?" She whispered. "What happened to me is you left. And then everything went wrong." She began to cry. "Everything went so wrong."

Damon instinctively reached towards her, pulling her into him.

He held her against his chest, stroking her hair and soothing her with kind words.

She inhaled his scent and let herself breathe for the first time in a long time. The smell and familiarity of his embrace was making her heart break all over again. Making her want to scream at him, hit him, hurt him for leaving her. Making her want to wrap her arms around him and never let go. But most of all making her want to run, run before he could hurt her again.