Chapter 2: Prussia Has a Marriage Certificate… Chaos Will Reign

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. Never will either. Kind of makes me sad, I'm going to go cry now.

A/N: This chapter mentions things that happen in Antipasti a lot. I will be doing my own version but the original still belongs to Coffee-Flavored Fate, thanks again for letting me use your plot bunny! Also… I've decided to make America a woman. Sorry and I hope this doesn't bug you too much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~HERE~COMES~THE~CHAOS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The conference room wasn't really that special. It was in a nice hotel located in Paris, one of many. It was nice and relaxing inside the hotel and it served food-snacks to the users of the conference room, just like all the others. It was a little large for a conference room, but otherwise was in no way special or distinct from thousands of other conference rooms in the metropolitan City of Light.

The conference room couldn't even boast uniqueness for serving as the room for the upcoming World Conference. True, there were not that many hotels that could boast hosting such notorious guests—but over the course of all the years that World Conferences had been held and all the different meeting rooms used for such guests… it was still not that special.

However, it was soon to join a Special class of conference rooms used by the participants of the World Conference. This little, normal room was about to receive the (dubious) honor of being a Bombed Room. Now with such a frightening title, one would assume some sort of grave violence was about to descend upon this unassuming room; however, the name referred to something much more sinister than simple mundane violence.

(Violence was a normal, expected, and—somewhat—accepted occurrence when it was meeting between Nations. Especially meetings with more than three members—not that violence was not normal among groups of Nations with less than three members, it's just that more than three members meant there would be outside participants stirring the pot, if you will. But I digress; the main point is that for Nations violence was completely normal. Most in fact no longer believed a meeting could even qualify as "rowdy" unless there had been more than five attempted homicides and/or more than twelve Nations left with broken bones and/or concussions.)

A conference room that became a Bombed Room on the other hand, meant that something extraordinary must be announced that rocks the earth on its axis. It has to be news that will somehow alter the reality and fate of the world completely.

Some other Exemplary Bombed Rooms Included:

The Conference of Babylon 146 had Rome announcing to a horrified conference that he had completely destroyed Cartridge and that the personification was dead… and then tried to hit on Egypt who had been Cartridge's lover.

The Conference of Stockholm 1456: Finland announces that he is Santa Claus, and that all the Nations have been naughty so no presents for anybody. (Nations take their presents very seriously. Finland was nearly invaded multiple times throughout the conference. Sweden was not happy. It was HIS job to invade Finland, damn it!)

The Conference of Budapest 1572: Hungary wears a dress and it is revealed to certain confused and oblivious Nations that she is, in fact, a woman. With woman naughty bits. Prussia tried to disprove this fact for some reason by tearing a hole in her top. She grabbed the first thing she could, a frying pan, and nearly beat him to death. Two things occurred in that conference: one, all male Nations agreed (secretly) that women are very scary. Two, Hungary found her weapon of choice causing many Nations to become slightly traumatized and afraid of frying pans.

The Conference of London 1917: Russia announces that his people have forced Czar Nicolas II to abdicate and that he was now a Communist country.

The Conference of Warsaw 1993: Germany realizes that he used to be the Holy Roman Empire due to Hungary accidentally hitting him in the head with a frying pan. Upon regaining his memories of his childhood and, more specifically his feelings towards a certain Italian, Germany tried valiantly to prove that Northern Italy was a woman. There were many shenanigans that followed his numerous attempts, but the one most Nations recall is the last attempt. Germany, having tried multiple times to get Italy to confess his true gender finally decided to pull "A Prussia" and rip a hole in Italy's shirt to reveal Italy's gender. Needless to say that didn't end well. It took four years for Italy to forgive Germany and another two after that to finally be in a relationship together. Romano still hasn't forgiven Germany, but since it IS Romano, no one is really surprised.

Prussia stood triumphant. He had successfully managed to climb the walls of the building and had made it into an old air conditioner duct. Now as he slowly inched himself forward, quietly humming the "Ride of the Valkyries" under his breath, he thought about how much fun the next few minutes were going to be. He got to cause chaos, disrupt a world meeting, and get a laugh at all the other Nations, what more could he want? He heard the dull roar of the meeting and his already maniacal grin stretched even further. Now all he had to do was time this just right…

Greece was feeling somewhat successful. He had somehow managed to make it through most of his presentation. Things had not being going so great in his home, and his boss had severely restricted his cat and napping time. It was a dark time in Greece's history… almost as bad as some of the natural disasters and riots he has lived through.

But!

His boss promised that if Greece managed to get through his presentation without falling asleep or any mishaps he wouldn't be grounded anymore. It had taken a lot of work and concentration but Greece had so far managed to get everything done right. Even the Turkish son of a whore had been cooperative! (Greece had to bribe him with some pretty unsavory promises, but it would all be worth it.) And he was nearly home free. All he had to do was do these last few sentences and then he would get some good napping and cat time.

He cleared his throat and began in his typical slow paced talking, "Now that… I have made these… points, I… feel as though this august body… can see my—"

"TOO LONG AND BORING! NOT AWESOME!"

Heavy boots landed on the Greek's back forcing him to the floor with a loud THUMP! Greece, in a great deal of pain and confusion, looked up to where his "attendant" (read: baby-sitter who would report back to his boss whether or not he had "behaved") sat, pen in hand. The look on the man's face was all the information the unlucky cat-lover needed. No nap or cat time for another month. And he would still owe Turkey those promises. With a solid "THUNK" Greece let his head collide with the floor.

"…Fuck… my… life…" he sobbed quietly into the ground.

Prussia didn't notice nor care about the tortured soul underneath his feet. He was too busy looking over the stunned Nations. God, he was good at entrances!

A groan of pain came from his younger-not-as-awesome-brother Germany, "Gilbert, how? How do you continue to get past security to interrupt these meetings? And why? Why do you do this to us? To me? Good lord wasn't the potty training you forced me through enough?!"

Prussia just laughed, "KESESSESESESE! You got it all wrong West; I am here on important business! Two members of this august body of Nations are living in sin! Now Sealand! Bring forth the document." The Nations turned and looked as a little boy in a sailor's hat jumped up out of a potted plant with a happy, "Yes sir!"

England shouted, "Damn it Peter! How many times do I have to tell you: YOU ARE NOT A NATION AND ARE NOT ALLOWED IN THESE MEETINGS!"

Sealand just stuck his tongue out, "You're not the boss of me Jerk England!"

Finland wagged his finger and gave a stern, "Peter, language."

Sealand shrank back and gave a contrite, "Sorry Mama," before going about his business of setting up a projector and a computer. No one seemed to hear Finland's weak protest of "I'm not your mother because I'm not a woman." Sweden just gave his little wife an indulgent look. Fin was so cute sometimes.

After getting the projector and computer ready, the little micronation sent a cheerful thumb up to Prussia. The Prussian cleared his throat and got ready to do what he did best: cause chaos.

Prussia started, "So a week or two ago I was going through France's stuff to try to find some good porn on threesomes to show Prissy pants and his she-male of a wife what new positions we should try next." This caused a frying pan to sail with deadly accuracy at the Albino. Luckily, Gilbert had anticipated the enthusiastic response for his little Hungarian (so feisty!) and used the Nation had been standing on as a shield. Greece let out a pained gasp from the impact and wondered why he was being punished. Prussia just continued on as if nothing had occurred, "Well as I was going through his stuff, I found an old chest and at the bottom of this old chest I found the most interesting document. A marriage document, more specifically a Binding Marriage between Two States document, show this audience what I mean Peter! Put it up!"

For the whole speech France had become paler and paler and paler before he frantically began looking for exits. At least one of the Nations involved in his little marriage was not going to be happy about losing his little girl, best to exit stage right.

Prussia's voice halted him though, "Oh Francis, where you think you going? No, no my dear friend, sit back down. We're going to need you to tell us what is happening in the pictures I got that little grey friend of America to time-travel back into the past and take." Reluctantly France sat back down while deciding that very soon he would have his revenge on that bastard Prussian.

Just then the screen flickered and up popped the image of The Marriage Document. For a moment all was silent. Then. Chaos. England was up and screaming about how the document must be a fake. Spain was cooing about how cute it was that his little tomato had a bride! The other Nations were just a mixture of confusion, anger (in the case of the bride's family), and amusement. And the newly discovered married couple? They first looked at the document in shock before slowly turning to face each other across the table. Twin looks of confusion (no anger or any other emotion just yet, the revelation was still too new and had yet to fully sink in) reflected in green eyes and blue eyes.

France gave a slow exhale, "Yes Arthur, the document is real. So please stop screaming at the top of your lungs. It won't make the document go away or be any less real. Antonio, you're absolutely right in that the marriage was absolutely adorable. Luckily it seems we have pictures?" Here he looked at a smug Prussia who gave a nod. Prussia then gave a nod to Peter to start the presentation.

The first slide to pop up read simply: How did this happen?

Everyone turned to look at France. He shrugged before saying, "If I'm going to sit here and tell everyone the story, then I want a promise that no one can attack me. It was a long time ago and if everyone would be so kind as to notice that both Arthur and Antonio signed off on the marriage so it's completely legal." Getting nods France began his story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BREAKINTHEACTIONTOBEGINTHEST ORY~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Well first off you have to understand that when I hatched this plan back in 1647, it was because England and Spain were (and sometimes still are) complete and utter morons. Always fighting and going back and forth and poor me in the middle of all this! Ugh! It was enough to make me almost pull out my beautiful hair. Now one day when the torment of it all was about to drive me to horrible lengths I espied some of my lovely little citizens outside playing a mock wedding for their little youngsters and realized that all I needed was to wed your families together and POOF! No more useless, silly fighting."

At this Prussia clicked and went to the next slide which had a picture of France, England and Spain sitting down at a small table outside having drinks. France continued, "Now all I had to do was invite you both over and get you both calm enough to consider how cute a mock wedding would be. That was easy enough because I made sure to spike your drinks."

England made a squawking sound like a chicken that just had a feather plucked off and said, "H-how dare you sir! In what way did you think SPIKING MY DRINK—"

France snorted and waved a hand, "Oh calm down Arthur. It was one of the few options I had open to make sure you didn't try to kill Antonio, mon cher, but if you'd rather I'd tied you both up let me know so our nights together can have a little more zest."

England made more squawking sounds, but France ignored them. After being together with England for so long France was quite used to the odd sounds of disbelief that England could make.

France continued as the next picture clicked into place, this one of France showing off the little wedding dress he had made for America, ah that little dress was so cute! He cleared his throat and said, "So after I had the two of you relaxed with some nice drinks, I mentioned about the little mock weddings and Antonio was very excited to see little Lovino as a groom. Arthur you got just as excited after I showed you the little dress for America. As well you should, I slaved over that dress. Of course, you agreed and both went off to get your little charges for the wedding."

The next slide clicked on, this one of Arthur furiously signing the marriage contract. France snorted and said, "Ah yes. And here is your proof that I did NOT force you to sign anything."

England grumbled and France, very annoyed with his lover continued, "Oh in fact it was very simple. After Spain signed it with no fuss all I had to do was coo over him." France brought his hands up to his face, took on a facial expression of a love-sick Twilight fan-girl staring at a poster of Edward and sweetly cooed, "Oh Antonio~ how many titles you have! Oh how important you must be! Oh how strong you are! Oh how powerful you are! Oh Antonio! You are so impressive." Dropping his hands and glaring a bit at England, France snapped, "You couldn't write down your many impressive titles fast enough after I did that. Pride before the fall and all that, ah Arthur?"

Up until this point, America had been fairly silent. Now she burst out, "Really Artie! Really?! You signed me into a marriage because you wanted to IMPRESS FRANCE WITH HOW MANY TITLES YOU HAD?!"

England just blushed and shifted before mumbling about different times and trying to slide further down in his chair. France thought the embarrassment served him right. Then came the next slide of Arthur arriving with baby America and France just KNEW he had to twist the knife deeper.

"So this little scene is what happened when Arthur showed up America. Notice all the detail I had put into the arch where the ceremony was held everyone. As well as the little feast and the tiered cake in the corner—lemon zest by the way, for those of you who are curious—and the little petals marking the trail up to the altar. I'm still open for weddings in case anyone needs a wedding planner."

Russia now decided to throw his two cents in, "I'm surprised you didn't find it suspicious England. All that work and you never thought it was a trap?"

France cut in before England could defend himself, "Oh no Russia dear you've got it wrong. See Arthur was a little suspicious, but all I had to do was basically remind Arthur how silly it'd be for anyone to think I could trick the Great Arthur Kirkland and how he'd see through me in an instant and he went a long with the plan hook, line and sinker."

After saying this America glared even harder at England who just continued to try and sink further and further down in his chair. France wasn't sure how much farther he could go before England just fell out of the chair completely. The other Nations just laughed at England's misfortune and idiocy.

Then the next slide came, this one was of America in her wedding dress. France couldn't help but sigh a little. She really had been too precious. That tiny little body wrapped up in silk and bows and ruffles. Big blue eyes blinking in a cherubic face surrounded by pretty flowers crowned on her golden head. Oh, and he remembered that adorable little lisp she had and what a sweet conversation they had about love and marriage. The memory filled his heart with a warmth and peace that he didn't get to have very often. Truly his little daughter was a beauty second to none.

Ah, but France wasn't the only one overcome with emotions. Everyone else was also cooing over how adorable America was in her dress. All the female Nations, China, and Japan appeared to be having seizures from the overdose of cuteness while all the male Nations were pretty much just stunned by the image. Belarus was actually smiling shyly before taking quick peaks at Russia (obviously thinking of her own hoped for marriage). Poland was squealing to Lithuania about how "totes cute that dress was and he like SO needed to have one of those like right now, so we have to go like wedding dress shopping after this right Liet?" Even Cuba was blushing a bit from the cute image.

France cleared his throat and said, "I'm sure anyone who wants pictures can talk to Gilbert about getting a few. Now this is obviously just America in her little wedding dress. Next slide please."

The next slide elicited just as much cries of "CUTE" as the first one had. This one was of Lovino in his little groom outfit, helping to pick out the rings. France looked over and saw a horrified and embarrassed Lovino start hitting Spain with a folder as Spain tried to hug and coo at the volatile Italian. France decided to make his summery of this slide brief too so that Spain didn't die by Lovino's hands. "So ah this slide," France said quickly, "is of little Lovino helping me to pick out the rings since he said Arthur had no taste in such things." He made the motion to go onto the next slide.

This one, France believed, was the best one. There was little Lovino, moments after helping America lift her veil off. His eyes were wide as his face was red as a tomato. The look in his eyes was one of pure adoration and you could tell that Lovino had no idea anymore what was going on. The only thing his eyes could see was the little face of America smiling back at him. Spain was standing next to Lovino and obviously crying (as he was now actually, the man could become so emotional). England stood behind America, drunk off his ass and looking like he was seconds from falling over. France in the middle of the two children, hands in motion as he gravely stated the beauties of love and the happiness of marriage.

France sighed, "Ah yes. The wedding part was splendid. At this point Arthur and Antonio were far too drunk to really do anything useful so America ended up walking her father down the aisle instead of the other way around. And once Lovino lifted her veil, ah! You could tell that for him, it was love at first sight. What made the whole ordeal even cuter is that Lovino was so overcome with his wife's beauty that he missed me saying, 'You may now kiss the bride.' America ended up leaning over and kissing him instead. It was so sweet."

Surprisingly no one was saying anything derisive. France supposed that even Nations could still be overcome by the beauty of love.

"Sunlight," Lovino whispered the word in some kind of trance. His eyes met and then darted quickly away from America's eyes. "I remember the kiss," Lovino stammered, "you smelled like sunlight. But I just thought it was a dream."

America blushed and looked down at her lap while Lovino looked away from her, also blushing.

France gave a smile and again motioned for the next slide. The next slide held a picture of a juice-soaked America being protected by Lovino from an irate France. Ah, he remembered, the dress I spent ages on ruined by Drunken Idiot 1 and Drunken Idiot 2. Well I'm going to rake these two over the coals and I won't need to do more than tell the truth!

"Ah yes, and this is how the dress I slaved over," France said with a scowl, "was ruined by idiots one and two. Somehow the two managed to shake the table a pitcher of juice was sitting on hard enough to knock it over and its content fell all over poor America. The poor little thing started to cry from the coldness of the drink. AH! But then her gallant husband rushed over to make sure I didn't take my fury out on her. Isn't that sweet of him?"

The other Nations made noises of agreement while glaring at England and Spain. Those two Nations simply blushed and squirmed under the disapproval of the peers. The next slide popped up on the screen. This one held France using a table leg to beat both England and Spain. France smiled at that one, which was an especially good memory.

Smiling France chirped, "Ah yes. Due to being incurable idiots, England and Spain broke one of my table's legs off. So I showed them what I thought about that by beating them with it. It was good thing."

Snickering filled the room. It was a good thing.

The next slide kicked on and showed Romano feeding America a little icing flower. France cooed, "I wasn't around for this, but most likely this was the two little babies trying to feed each other considering all my dishes and silverware was destroyed by England and Spain." Another glare at the two embarrassed countries. By now all the female Nations and Japan and China were in near cuteness overload comas and were making barely audible grunts as their bodies could no longer quite withstand the cuteness of the little couple. Even the men were starting to be worn out from cute children.

France made a hand gesture for another slide to pop up. Peter shook his head and mouthed, "Nothing left." All the Nations just kind of sat and basked in the cuteness and sweetness of the marriage before Prussia decided to be an asshole one more time.

"So," he started, "what is Italy going to do now that half of the country is married into an empire with the only current superpower in the world."

One heartbeat passed a second heartbeat. And then chaos reigned again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ENDOFCHAPTER~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And thus this chapter. Too tired to say anything else. Please review and I hope you all like it.

Much Love,

91REDROSES