A/N - I'll make this one short ;-) I'm uploading as much of the story as I have written so far in one fell swoop. Perhaps that's not the best way to do it, but I, personally hate waiting for updates and I hope to attract an audience. I promise I will still respond to any feedback I receive and edit accordingly. I wanted to mention that I didn't get bogged down in the details of how - how did they get off the planet, back to the Fleet, back to Earth? in this story because it wasn't what I wanted to tell, I wanted to get to the characters interacting with each other and with poor Shepard. I apologize if that disappoints you, but I think you search, there are plenty of stories in this universe that tell that how better than I ever could, I even have some favorited!
They reached the Fleet four days after taking off from their "temporary diversion" planet. Kaidan stood at attention in the CIC watching Admiral Steven Hackett approach him, feeling the déjà vu of the moment sweep over him. Less than two weeks ago, he and Shepard had stood just here watching the exact same tableau, hearts in their throats as they prepared for their final assault. He saluted the Admiral and then felt a moment of genuine surprise as Hackett reached out and shook his hand with a strong grip. "Major," the Admiral barked out in his typically irascible tone, "it's good to see you."
"You, too, sir," Kaidan replied, following Hackett through the door to the War Room. Once there, Hackett took a seat at the large conference table and gestured to Kaidan to sit as well.
"I'm sure you have much to report, Major, and we have time for that, but I wanted to let you know that we have word from Earth." Kaidan looked up sharply as the Admiral began. "They found Shepard. She was buried beneath god only knows what at the heart of the Citadel. She's alive, Major."
Kaidan let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding and allowed himself a moment to thank every god and goddess he'd ever heard of.
"It's not good, Kaidan," Hackett continued. Kaidan had another moment to wonder about the informality of Hackett's addressing him by his first name - surely unprecedented - before the words the Admiral was saying caught up to him. "What do you mean, Admiral?"
"Reports from the trauma center say she was under the wreckage for over two days before the crew found her, it was a miracle she was still alive when they did. They worked for over an hour to extract and stabilize her and she's been in and out of surgery pretty much since then." Hackett let out a long slow breath. "She's in a coma, they've repaired as much as they can for now, but her chances aren't good."
Kaidan stared into Hackett's eyes and saw his own pain mirrored. He also saw with dawning comprehension that Hackett wasn't informing him solely as the acting Captain of the Normandy, nor even as her comrade in arms. With a start he realized that Hackett was speaking to him as the man Shepard loved.
"How long have you known?" he asked quietly.
Hackett shook his head and stood up to stare out at the stars beyond the window behind them. "Anderson and I suspected for some time, we were sure after the Citadel coup. But that's all rather irrelevant now, don't you think, Major? Clearly fraternization didn't stop her from saving the galaxy."
Kaidan laughed softly. "I doubt anything could have stopped her."
Hackett nodded once and turned back to face Kaidan. "Then let's have your report and we'll work on getting back to Earth ASAP. She's gonna need us, one last time."
Standing in the cockpit of the Normandy watching Joker go through docking procedures three days later, Kaidan reflected on how he had changed over the past four years. The man that he had been when he joined the SSV Normandy for her "shakedown" run would have relished the rigid regulatory hoops that even now, in the wake of the Reaper devastation, or perhaps even more as a result of it, the Alliance required for every incoming vessel. Now, he wished someone would just look up, say "Normandy? Oh of course, let's get you in ASAP."
He realized a few more minutes wouldn't change the situation – Shepard had been hospitalized for twelve days now and for the past three days, nothing had changed with her condition. Critical but stable was the mantra he had repeated to himself constantly during the seemingly interminable FTL travel from Arcturus to Earth. The daily updates from the hospital remained the same – he wouldn't let his mind dwell on the details they had laid out for him on the first call, the amount of injury and trauma she had endured – instead, he grasped firmly on that one term critical but stable and repeated it to himself every time he felt himself flagging. Now, in the last moments before he'd be able to see her for himself and verify for his terrified heart that she was indeed still alive, still breathing, he found himself impatient and intolerant of anything that delayed him. For a man that used to draw the Alliance military's sometimes long and tedious regulations around himself like a security blanket, it was a big change. But then, she had that effect on everyone she met, he thought with a wry smile and tug on his heart.
"Normandy, you are cleared to dock, proceed to docking bay Alpha 6-5," Kaidan heard the calm voice of the Alliance docking officer over the com and looked up to see Joker complying with a sigh and a "finally" muttered under his breath and realized he wasn't the only one in the cockpit chafing against the red tape. He leaned over, patted the best pilot in the Alliance (self proclaimed or not) on the shoulder and said "take us in, Joker," then turned to head back to the CIC. Just a few minutes more, and it wouldn't change the situation, he prayed. Critical but stable he told himself once again.