AN: Okay, so after rewriting the first page of this chapter and then struggling with the rest of it, I finally have something I think is worthy of posting. Hope you all enjoy it!
~I'm not hearing this, ~ Reid told himself as he kept his eyes squeezed shut. He was aware of Morgan still behind him working on the knot. ~Tonight is just a really bad dream. I'll open my eyes and wake up in the hotel room before the reunion, ~ he thought, not convincing himself at all.
His heart was pounding in his chest, and Reid tried to take some measured breaths trying to slow it down. He was sure it was betraying his true emotions right now, just as giving in to the desire to return Morgan's kiss would have. He had wanted to return the older man's kiss and pursue him when Morgan had moved away and then reality had hit him again. There was no way that Morgan could have those types of feelings for him. He had seen Morgan interact with women on numerous occasions. There was no way those women would be falling all over the dark-skinned agent if Morgan was faking it.
Although that kiss he had just given him had seemed pretty passionate to Reid.
~He was joking around, ~ Reid told himself. ~Trying to ease the tension of the situation, ~ he reasoned, trying to find some kind of explanation that he could wrap his head around. The only problem was that the idea of Morgan teasing him like that was more humiliating that being tied to the goal post by his former high school classmates in the first place. He was having a hard time understand how Morgan could joke about a situation like this.
As soon as he felt the silky material fall away from his right wrist, Reid stepped away from the goal post. He thought only momentarily about turning to face Morgan before he started walking in the direction of the gate. All he wanted was to get away from the football field and attempt to put everything behind him.
"Reid, hold up," Morgan called. "Let me get the other knot undone."
Reid glanced briefly down at his left wrist which still had the other end of the neck tie looped around it. "I can get it myself," Reid called back, not breaking his stride.
Morgan hurried after the young genius. Getting close enough he reached out and grabbed the younger man's arm. "Kid, what's the hurry. The worse is over."
~No, it's not, ~ Reid's mind scream. ~The worse is going to be facing Morgan at work every day after all of this.~
Reid pulled his arm from Morgan's grasp and whirled to face the older man. "The worse is over? That's easy for you to say! You weren't the one who was tied to a goal post by bullies from their past! Nor were you found in that predicament by a co-worker - a co-worker who then tries to make the situation better by making a joke out of it! How could you mess with . . . how could you do that Morgan?"
"Kid, I'm sorry," Morgan told him, his voice quiet, calm and sincere. "I guess my timing leaves a lot to be desired but I wasn't trying to make a joke out of the situation. I wouldn't do that to you, Kid."
The short laugh that came out sounded harsh even to Reid's ears. "You expect me to believe that you really love me. Derek Morgan, the man that women practically throw themselves at. You forget Morgan, I've seen you making your moves plenty of times."
"So? That doesn't change how I feel about you, Kid."
"And you would be willing to go back to D.C. and tell our team mates that."
"If you wanted me to, yes," Morgan replied without a moment of hesitation.
Morgan's answer made Reid pause. Every instinct he had as a profiler told him that Morgan was telling the truth and yet he couldn't quite believe those feelings - or maybe he was afraid to.
"You're just saying that to try and calm me down."
Morgan sighed. "Kid, I'm sorry. I never should have -"
"At least we agree on something," Reid said, not giving Morgan a chance to finish what he had started to say.
Turning, Reid continued his walk toward the gate. He just wanted away from here - the football field, the school - all of it. Coming here was a bad idea.
"Kid, wait up. I've got the car keys unless you plan on walking all the way back to the hotel room," Morgan called out to him as the older man got over his surprise at Reid's interruption of his apology and hurried after Reid.
Reid didn't break his stride. The way he was feeling right now, walking back didn't seem like such a bad idea except that he knew Morgan would never allow him to do it. The older profiler would shadow him all the way back to the hotel if he even made the attempt. Still, he needed some space to deal with his swirling thoughts and emotions right now and staying a few steps ahead of Morgan was better than nothing.
To Reid's relief, Morgan remained silent although he was aware of the older man's presence not far behind him. The two silently made their way back to the high school, Morgan finally speaking as they walked along the side of the building.
"The car is parked along the curb," Morgan said.
Reid didn't reply or slow his steps. The quicker he reached the car, the quicker he could get away from here and start putting this night behind him. As soon as he rounded the corner of the building, Reid saw their rental. He heard the beep and saw the headlights flash as Morgan unlocked the doors with the keyless entry. Reaching the car, the genius yanked open the passenger side door and slid into the car. By the time Morgan had slid in behind the wheel, Reid had buckled his seatbelt, crossed his arms and was huddled against the passenger side as much as he could manage.
"Reid-"
"I don't want to talk about it," Reid said, cutting off whatever his friend was going to say. To his relief, Morgan didn't try to continue.
Reid heard Morgan sigh as he inserted the key into the ignition and started the car. The drive back to the hotel was silent - not even the radio played. They weren't far from the school when Reid realized the other end of the neck tie was still tied around his wrist. Silently, he started working on the knot, glad for the distraction. When the silky material finally came loose, he let it fall to the floor of the car.
As soon as the car came to a stop in the parking garage, Reid bolted from the vehicle. He just wanted to escape to the safety of his hotel room. As Reid stabbed the button to the elevator, he wrestled with the conflicting feelings over the fact that Morgan hadn't tried to stop him again. Part of him was relieved while another part of him wished the older man had made another attempt.
By the time the elevator arrived, Reid was still standing by himself. Stepping through the doors, he pushed the correct floor button without checking to see where Morgan was at. As much as he wanted to be alone, Reid knew that he would be disappointed if the older agent wasn't even in sight. He was better off not knowing.
Other hotel guests got on and off the elevator as Reid traveled to the hotel lobby. Reaching the lobby he head straight for the closest elevator leading up to the rooms. When he finally stepped inside his room, the lamp he had left on casting a soft glow over it, Reid closed the door and leaned back against it, relieved that he could finally consider this whole ordeal over and done with. Feeling weak at the knees, Reid let himself slide down the door and come to rest on the floor, wrapping his arms tight across himself again.
"I never should have come back here," Reid said quietly, leaning his head back against the door and looking up at the ceiling.
His years in high school had never been ones that he wanted to relive. The moment Reid had graduated, he had tried to put his old school and the torments that he had endured there behind him. Though he knew that hadn't been completely successful, he had been able to move on. His college classmates hadn't known what had happened back in Las Vegas. He had been able to face each day without any reminders of highschool. The same went for the academy. Sure, there had been others who had teased him, sent hurtful remarks his way or whispered when they thought he couldn't hear him but it had been nothing like high school. In the BAU he had finally started forming relationships that he felt comfortable with opening up a bit about his past, partly because his teammates had been able to figure out on their own that his child hood hadn't been ideal even without him saying anything. Only Morgan had gotten any elaborate details from him. Now Reid was wishing that he hadn't even told Morgan what he had. Wished that Morgan had never found out about the reunion.
Reid kept hearing the attempted apologies Morgan had tried at the football field. The older man's words had sounded sincere and he had just blown him off unable to accept that Morgan could possibly feel anything beyond friendship for him.
~If I did have a chance, I've probably blown it now, ~ Reid thought, ashamed with how he had treated Morgan after the older agent had untied him. After all, if Morgan hadn't shown up, he would probably still be tied to the goalpost as Rick probably would have left him there again - just like he had in high school.
Part of him wanted to get up and go to Morgan's room and beg for his friend's forgiveness. Even if Morgan had been joking around out on that field, and Reid still thought that was possible, he knew he didn't want to lose the older man's friendship. It wasn't as if he had a whole lot of friends to begin with. However, the desire to not leave the hotel room, where at least he felt safe, was winning the battle right now.
Having showered and changed, Morgan flopped down on the still made bed and stared up at the ceiling. He kept seeing Reid bolting from the field or bolting from the car in the parking garage. Even now, Morgan wondered if letting him go like that had been the right thing to do. The younger man was upset about what had happened, and understandably so, but Morgan still hadn't liked the idea of Reid being alone. Still, Reid had already thrown several attempts at an apology back at him tonight. Until the kid had a chance to calm down some, Morgan didn't think he would have any chance of reaching him.
~That was just stupid kissing him like that, ~ Morgan scolded himself, pounding his fist on the bed beside him. If he had stopped and thought about it, reason would have won out but no he had to do what he usually did and just go with his instincts. As he had told Garcia plenty of times before, Reid had been freaked out by his admission. ~Although, granted kissing him on top of everything else he had to deal with tonight probably would have freaked anyone out.~
The more Morgan thought about the accusation that Reid had thrown at him out on that football field, he realized that the genius was right - what happened tonight was his fault. ~If I had just minded my own business he wouldn't have even been here this weekend but no I had to insist that he come to his reunion. That he faced his past. And a lot of good I did by coming out here. I think me only managed to make a bad situation worse.~
After about a half hour of going through the same thoughts over and over again, Morgan got up off the bed. There was no way he was going to be able to sleep with the current state of his thoughts. Thinking that perhaps a walk would help clear his mind, Morgan slipped on his shoes, grabbed his key car and crossed to the door. Pulling it open, he jumped upon finding Reid standing on the other side, hand poised to knock. The younger man had also changed into sweat pants and a long sleeved cotton shirt, while the still wet wavy locks told Morgan that Reid had also taken a shower since returning to the hotel.
"Reid, I wasn't expecting you to be there," Morgan said, with a little laugh trying to cover his surprise at finding his friend right outside his hotel door.
"Morgan, I'm sorry for not even given you a chance to explain anything," Reid said quickly, as if he hadn't even heard Morgan's previous comment.
"It's okay, Kid. It's been a rough night for you, so I get."
Reid looked back at him, a look of disbelief on his face. Morgan had a feeling that he hadn't given the answer the younger man had been expected. Reid's next words verified that feeling.
"I don't get you. After how ungrateful I was after you came to my rescue and you just brush it off like it isn't a big deal. Like what I said doesn't even matter to you."
"It's not like that, Kid," Morgan said, shaking his head. "What happened out on that football field does matter, but I can forgive your actions because I love you," he said, choosing to repeat those words despite the previous reaction he had gotten, or lack of, when he had spoken them.
"You really mean that?" Reid asked, his gaze not wavering as he watched Morgan.
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't," Morgan told him, trying to read his friend's reaction to those words. He had no proof that Reid swung that way - only his own gut feeling that the younger man felt something for him and Garcia's insistence that Reid liked him too. ~Both of us can't be wrong, right? ~ Morgan though as he kept trying to gauge Reid's reaction. Finally unable to stand the silence anymore, the dark-skinned profiler spoke again. "So I guess the real question is how do you feel? I mean I took a chance out on that field tonight, I know that, and if . . . well if you don't feel that way about me I guess that could have been really awkward for you and . . . "
Morgan wasn't able to finish his sentence as before he knew it Reid had closed what little distance had been between them. As Morgan had out on the football field, Reid pressed his lips against the older man's. Morgan closed his eyes, relishing for the second time that night the softness of Reid's lips against his own. This kiss was the only answer that Morgan needed. The one answer that he had been hoping that he would receive.
Without opening his eyes, Morgan reached out a hand blindly finding the soft skin of Reid's neck. Trailing his fingertips along the warm skin, Morgan soon had his fingers entwined in the still wet locks of hair as he deepened the kiss. Right then the only person Morgan was aware of was the man whose hands were currently resting on his shoulders as Reid pressed his body against his. At least until a young voice reminded him of just where they were at that moment.
"Daddy, what are those two men doing?"
Both Morgan and Reid broke away at the same time. As Reid rested his head on Morgan's shoulder in embarrassment though, Morgan glanced past Reid in the direction the voice had come from. He saw a man about Reid's age, hurrying a little girl away. Though Morgan couldn't hear the father's voice as he said something to the girl, the profiler couldn't help but wonder how he planned on explaining the situation to the child.
"This is so not my night," Reid whispered softly, still not looking up.
Morgan wanted to laugh at the situation. He had no qualms about anyone, let alone someone they would probably never see again, seeing him kissing Reid. He held the laughter back though, hearing the mortification in the younger man's voice. Morgan made the quick decision to chalk Reid's embarrassment up to the emotional roller coaster he had been on tonight and the general discomfort with public displays of affections and not the fact that he had been caught kissing him.
"Let's go inside," Morgan told him softly, finally untangling his fingers from Reid's hair and letting that arm drape across the younger man's shoulders. Morgan met no resistence as he led Reid into the hotel room, making sure the door shut behind him by giving it a slight push with his foot.
Continuing to guide Reid, Morgan made his way over to the closest bed. It wasn't long before they were resuming the activity that had been interrupted out in the hall, their tongues soon exploring one another's mouth until Reid broke away.
"Morgan, maybe this is a bad idea," Reid said tentatively.
"A bad idea?" Morgan asked, pushing himself up slightly to get a better look at Reid's face as he lay on top of the younger man. "Kid, don't try to tell me you're not into this because as close as we are right now, a certain part of you anatomy is giving you away," he said, smiling as he saw the color rise in Reid's already flushed cheeks. Apparently making the younger man blush was going to be an easy feat, which Morgan kind of found appealing.
"No, it's not that it's just . . . wells I know what you're expecting and I don't think I'm quite ready for that."
"Oh, really? Just what is it you think I'm expecting."
"Well, all those women you've gone home from a bar with, even I'm not so naive as to not know what happens after you leave the bar with them."
"That's completely different, Kid. We both leave the bar knowing that nothing goes beyond that night. We're both looking for release and that's it. How I feel about you is so much more than that, and I hope you feel the same way."
"I do!" Reid replied quickly.
"Then I'm fine with first base for tonight, Pretty Boy," Morgan told him in a sultry voice as he leaned down again, his lips finding Reid's once more.