Academy x Life

"So where're you? We hear lot of different tongue from Kalluto's technique." It was common for Feitan to botch his Japanese, but nobody wanted to hear his Chinese for fear of the catastrophe of utter rage that would follow.

"Those were my 'parents', 'welcoming me home'." Shalnark answered his cell phone casually, toying with a piece of paper in his hands, courtesy of Kalluto. He didn't have to mention that he originated in the garbage dump of Meteor City and thus, like the other members of the Troupe, had no official records listed anywhere. None of them had any interest in learning about their real family (save Kalluto, who wanted to learn about Alluka); the Troupe was family enough for all of them.

"Really? How it go?"

"Fairly well." Indeed, it was almost funny to see his many "parents" crying crocodile tears as they came to hug him, while their noses wrinkled at his lack of expensive perfume. They presented "legitimate" birth certificates complete with ridiculous names like "Igor Shalnarksky" and "Shalnark Holmes". He had to compliment them for their creativity. "It sucks that none of the other IS could teleport me back though."

Feitan paused for a moment to think.

"How you get adopt?"

"I ended up in the testing ground for this IS 'exam' when I teleported."

"There test for that?"

"Apparently. It's nothing compared to the Hunter exam though."

"Weak."

"Best way not to be so suspicious is to take it."

"Come from a guy who say IS only for girl…"

"I hit the machine with Nen."

"I see."

Now Shalnark recalled their earlier heist. "What happened to the IS?"

"Abandoned. God Letters no there anymore. We still can hack IS, but need you come back first."

"I'll find a way."

"Good luck," Feitan said, before hanging up. Privately, he was forced to realize that the Troupe wasn't able to properly pull off heists without the guidance of their boss.

In Greed Island, fellow players tried to defeat each other and complete certain requirements to get cards to complete the game. Almost everyone was an adult chasing cards like an overly obsessed child. The Troupe didn't play with the other players, nor was finishing the game their priority. Most of the players hunted each other, the weaker trying to avoid the stronger, naturally meaning, of course, that those who encountered the Troupe ended up dead.

But in the IS Academy, everyone hunted Shalnark. He was only one of two boys to be able to pilot an IS, and to the other girls (everyone else) in the school, he was a rare specimen or a hunted item, the "Angel's Breath" or the "Pregnancy Stone". Hold onto this boy for one month and you will get pregnant, he thought uncomfortably.

There was only one other boy. One.

"My name is Orimura Ichika! …that is all!" the other boy introduced himself.

Orimura Ichika's failure to impress was so glaringly obvious that even his sister, Orimura Chifuyu-sensei, had to hit him on the head for it. Shalnark recognized the coldness in her eyes that was so typical of Machi; it didn't help that he was a step below that kind of character when it came to authority.

In any case, Orimura Chifuyu's fortunate appearance helped him be less conspicuous, especially when she had a fanclub whose shrieks drowned out his presence. Shalnark decided to hide his Nen with Zetsu and took out his cell phone, keying Feitan's number.

BAM!

"Cell phone use is not permitted during class!"

It's been a while since he felt the impact of a normal fist. It made him feel as though he had lost a few brain cells. And this came from a woman who didn't have an ounce of Nen to boast of. He gave some thought to releasing Nen just to ward it off a little the next time it would happen.

Shalnark returned to his thoughts on hacking the IS in the corporation's storage and cracked open the instruction book. The technological stuff was beyond the most advanced computer his world boasted and the text was in another language altogether. But the language structure was similar to the conventional Hunter writing system, so Shalnark deduced it by substituting the right characters.

Hm, what an amusing history, he thought, smiling as usual.

"Could I please have a moment?" a girl's voice broke his chain of thought.

"Sure," Shalnark replied, putting the book on his desk and turned around to meet a clearly pampered upper-class girl, with distinctive blond strands of hair spiraling down the front of her uniform. Just then, his phone rang and he picked it up. "Hello?"

"See? I told you we could reach his cell!" Phinks' arrogant voice sounded through the phone.

"Yeah, but could you at least explain?" Shizuku cried indignantly, which was rare overall, but Phinks had that effect on most people.

"It's powered by Nen. Simple enough, you airhead?" Phinks again.

"Phinks, please stop." Franklin was intervening to protect Shizuku, as usual.

"Just having me talk to you should make you feel honored. Can't you at least be more respectful?" This voice, unfortunately, did not come from the phone but from the noble girl who had asked him earlier, meaning the criminals and mass murderers who were on the other end of the phone heard it clearly. Said criminals and mass murderers would be plotting a way to ransom the girl right now.

"And who are you exactly?" Shalnark and Phinks asked simultaneously.

"You don't know who I am? Cecilia Alcott?" she exclaimed, slamming her hands on his desk and her blond curls in his face, "Surely you've never heard of me as a valedictorian student, and a representative candidate from England?"

"Hey girlie, does it look like I give a fu-"

"So what is a representative candidate?" Shalnark asked, quickly muffling out what would've been the last of Phinks' sentence. All of his classmates, Cecilia included, were immediately startled at the question.

Luckily, Cecilia explained it to him, after she had calmed down, of course. "They are elites chosen as candidates to represent the country as the IS pilot. You can imagine what it means from these words, right?"

"I see."

"Yes, I am an elite! It's quite a miracle and good fortune that you can be in the same class as a chosen individual such as myself. Can you try understanding this reality?"

Phinks was screaming profanities at the unfortunate girl like there was no tomorrow; his voice distinct despite being muffled through the phone.

"Sounds great." Shalnark said, smiling as he hung up and pocketed his phone. However, Cecilia did not leave his face.

"Are you making fun of me?" She took his statement, innocent as it was, offensively. Never once had the boy not smiled, and the way that calm smiling face absorbed all that royalty thrown at him was beginning to irritate her.

"I don't think I said anything offensive."

"How can you enter this school in the first place without knowing this?" Cecilia asked hotly. "You are one of only two males who can control an IS and the only person in this school who doesn't even belong to a country! I thought it might have been fortunate for England to adopt you but maybe the other one was more special."

"Oh, the country that called me 'Shalnark Holmes'? That name doesn't fit me." Truth be told, none of them did.

"Why not? You should be proud to have such a great surname, even if it isn't as great as mine!" Cecilia's face was practically a radiator now. Shalnark shrugged in response.

"But since I am awesome, I will even be nice to people like you if you don't fully understand anything. If you come crying to me, I would not mind teaching you." She said, calming down and trying to drown him in her noble prestige, "After all, I am an elite among elites who defeated an instructor during the entrance exam."

"I also defeated an instructor." Shalnark said, completely startling the pampered girl. "And so did the other boy, I've heard." Of course, Shalnark won by startling the instructor with Nen and then exploiting every open spot that was available with the sword that came with the machine, but it was better not to elaborate.

"I heard that it was only me…"

"Among the women?" Shalnark finished.

"So you also defeated an instructor?"

"Didn't I just say that?"

Cecilia was about to retort, but the bell signaling the end of break rang.

"Please, let's continue this conversation later. All right?" she asked, pointing at him angrily.

Shalnark thought that maybe he should have chosen a better response if the world he was in was simply a remap of Greed Island. It was almost a wonder that nobody else reacted. In that case, would he be able to claim the IS by beating the game? Thinking about the force Orimura-sensei was able to exert on his head made him reconsider the "game theory", however.

A few class periods later heralded the selection of a class representative. Most of it was irrelevant to Shalnark, who had already formulated two separate plans for the scenarios of his election, but preferred not to be elected to make more time available for him to search for an IS with God's Letters on its core. He sat there, flipping through the books to examine the IS and its diagrams, wearing earplugs to drown out the noise his classmates were making. For instance, would there be a way to damage the IS without depleting the shields first-

WHACK!

An earplug fell to the floor and was quickly flattened by Orimura-sensei's shoe. "I appreciate your dedication to the IS but this is a special discussion that especially concerns you, Shalnark. Pay attention."

"Yes, sensei." Shalnark replied, nursing his head with one hand while the other one held the book. Several girls giggled.

"The class representative is as its name indicates. The class representative will not only compete in the tournament, but will also attend student council meetings and committee meetings as well. Well, you can consider it like a class leader. On a side note, the inter-class battles are meant to gauge each class' enrollment ability. Though there isn't much difference right now, some competition will encourage further improvement."

If this truly was a game titled "Lust Island", Shalnark would have been fine with taking the representative position, winning the tournament, attending meetings, and completing the game, all actions almost laughable for any member of the Phantom Troupe including himself. Unfortunately, the people exhibited human characteristics, as opposed to manipulated people or Nen puppets, so all of the above were impediments that prevented him from exiting IS Academy. He wished this kind of discussion was irrelevant to him.

"I nominate Shalnark-kun as our representative!" a girl called.

"I nominate Orimura-kun as our representative!" another one said.

"Shalnark-kun is more dedicated!"

"Orimura-kun is more competent with the IS!"

"Either one is fine! They're both really hot!"

Ichika turned to Shalnark with a nervous look. Shalnark answered it with a shrug and a smile. In the midst of the surrounding chaos, he raised his hand.

"Yes, Shalnark." Orimura-sensei called.

"If it comes down to this, could we just flip a coin?"

"I object to this unacceptable selection!" Shalnark knew who it was without having to turn around.

"Having a man represent our class only brings shame to this classroom! And by something as utterly ridiculous and haphazard as flipping a coin! Do you ask this Cecilia Alcott to bear this shame this year? Living in such an underdeveloped culture makes me feel so bad!" Cecilia Alcott complained. It was almost a surprise that she hasn't come under heavy fire yet.

"Britain has so few things to pride with. How many times has your country won the annual worst cuisine award?" Ichika countered accidentally. Shalnark chuckled. In hindsight, it might not have been such a bad idea to become "Shalnark Holmes" out of pity.

"Are you insulting my country? This is a duel then!" Cecilia shouted.

"Fine then, this duel will settle things better than debating." Ichika replied. Shalnark turned around to look. "Yes, that means you too!" Cecilia added, and walked towards them.

"If you dare lose on purpose, I will make both of you my slaves! So be prepared to fight well. Remember what I said about losing on purpose!"

"Don't tell me that you're planning on fighting both of us at the same time." Shalnark said.

"As a matter of fact, I am." Cecilia said proudly. "Did you know? Ever since the IS was introduced, people have been saying that if men and women would have gone to war, it wouldn't last three days."

"I agree." Shalnark said, but released Nen at her with the intent to scare. "The war won't last three days, because we'll be the ones who win. I'll even use an Uchigane and I'll fight after Ichika loses, but only if he loses. Sound okay, Orimura-sensei?"

"Very well. But note that Orimura-kun gets priority in receiving a personal IS because no country is able to determine your citizenship. Japan is willing to give you one as well, but only if you're willing to become a Japanese citizen."

"Alright. Thank you, sensei. I'll consider it."

Cecilia gritted her teeth, forced to consent to the conditions of a street boy without a citizenship of any country at all. The other girls who weren't exposed to his Nen scoffed at the handicap he was willing to give her, but Shalnark's mind could only be occupied by a disturbing image of Feitan in his Pain Packer suit laughing maniacally and roasting Cecilia and her IS to a crisp.

A/N: Usage of "Japanese" to describe the Hunter language in the Hunter X Hunter verse is purely from our point of view. Applying "Japponese" sounds strange to the HxH-verse, especially considering that few of the Hunter applicants during the 287th exam (the one taken by the main characters of Hunter X Hunter) knew what sushi (a "Japponese" dish) was.

The "game theory" mentioned here bears no reference to John Nash's Game Theory in our real world.