Reyna plunges her hands into the soapy mass then she starts to scrub the plate she pulls out of the hot dishwater. She's been so busy running Camp Jupiter lately she hasn't had time to do her dishes.
She has heard that when people get tourchured, they reach a point when they can't stand it anymore. A breaking point. Reyna thinks she's getting close to reaching hers, and hopes that she'll feel better once she reaches that it.
She doesn't just miss Jason. She needs him. She needs him to help her run Camp Jupiter. She needs her other praetor by her side, because she feels lost without him. Reyna hasn't felt this alone since she parted ways with her sister.
Sometimes, she dreams about him. But, the dream is almost blurred, like she isn't supposed to know where Jason is. It's not fair, though. For him to somehow disappear off the face of the earth and leave her and the camp alone. Reyna can't do this without him. Can't run the camp alone. There's too much pressure. People look at her whenever there's a problem. They expect her to answer all of their questions. They expect her to run Camp perfectly fine without any help. They expect her to be unbreakable. She has to give them that, though. She hates the act she has to play for them. Pretending everything's fine when it isn't. She tries to keep things normal for the other campers. But it's so hard. They expect far too much of her. She's only one person.
"You're supposed to be my saving grace."
Tears blur her vision. Her throat constricts. Reyna looks at the dish in her hand and throws it as hard as she can against the wall. It shatters, and breaks against it. Rage begins to course through her, as tears stream down her face and her nose starts to run. Her hand dives in to grab another dish, and she throws it across the room.
Before she knows it, she's grabbing at anything breakable she can find and slamming it on the floor or throwing it across the kitchen.
She damns the gods. Curses them. Thunder rumbles so loud outside the house quakes.
"BRING HIM BACK YOU SELFISH INCESTUAL BASTARDS! You never think of anyone but you and about what makes you happy! You just look at mortals and demigods and only think about you! You use women and men to fulfill your sexual urges! If someone insults you once you blast them to smithereens! Or plague them or set a curse on them! You're all so damn selfish! Every single last one of you! Well I am right here! I insulted you! So blast me all you want! Do it, I dare you! DO IT!" Reyna screams at the ceiling.
She should be afraid. She should be terrified, and give a sacrifice to every god so hopefully they wouldn't make her life that horrible.
Instead, she hyperventilates in order to stop crying, but this only makes her cry harder. She slowly sinks to the floor, where pieces of glass stab her skin. The pain of the glass is almost bearable when compared to the pain that seems to stab her chest.
Reyna, for the first time, feels broken and helpless, like the many dishes that are shattered and dispersed across her floor.