A/N – I'm starting a new arc here, one that will hopefully resolve, for me, one of the more interesting non-Shenko questions I had post-destroy. This should be one of the last two arcs of this fic, unless, when I consult with the crew next, they decide they have more issues to resolve. *grin* Therefore, we are marching to the end, more quickly than I'd prefer, perhaps, but I'm pleased with the journey. I sincerely hope you don't think that Shepard is OOC here, I spent much time with my inner muse debating how she would act/react. If you disagree (or agree) drop me a line and let me know. Oh, and fair warning, Shepard swears like the marine she is in this chapter… oh and if your name happens to be Jenny, I'm so sorry in advance. I have nothing against you, its all Shepard!
(FYI, there are four chapters in this arc - one of which is pure unadulterated smut - and I have three of four complete at the moment. I decided to upload tonight so that all you lovely people out there who keep making the hit counter rise could get your daily dose. If I can finish struggling with 4/4 before sleep claims, I'll upload that as well, but, right now, its kicking my ass)
Shepard was cranky. Really cranky. She figured she had plenty of reasons though. She hated physical therapy. She loved exercise and she had always been very fit. But that was when her muscles did what she asked them to, even when she was asking them to stretched beyond their limits. Struggling to lift her legs with just a five pound weight strapped to her ankle was both frustrating and humiliating. And having a way-too-perky buxom blonde try to make her do it fifty times over while speaking to Shepard as if she were a five year child rather than a fucking N7 marine exceeded any previous definition of suck. She hated her physical therapist too, yet another reason to be cranky. Fucking Jenny. What adult female walked around with that name?
Then there was Shepard's fiancé. Who was more than happy to kiss and snuggle with her, totally unwilling to take it any further. In the week since the party, she swore she'd felt more sexual frustration than all the months they'd chased each other on the original Normandy combined. Gah. Stupid man had decided she was made of glass and was gonna treat her like she'd break. If she didn't get laid soon, she would be breaking… all of his fingers, slowly. Cranky!
She was so cranky, she almost bit Tali's head off when she walked in Shepard's room after fucking Jenny had finally ceased her torture. At least for today. When the quarian knocked on her doorframe, Shepard was still stewing, and barked out an angry "what?" without looking up.
"Shepard, is this a bad time?" Tali'Zorah vas Normandy entered the room with some trepidation.
Shepard sighed and decided that perhaps she was being a bit of a bitch, then pasted on her best sorry-I'm –a-bitch smile and answered, "Not at all, Tali, sorry about that. Therapy put me in a bit of a temper."
Tali nodded, accepting the explanation and apology and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, since Shepard was currently occupying the recliner. "I need to ask you something, Shepard," Tali informed her friend.
"If it's about Garrus," Shepard replied, "I'm not sure but Mordin may have left some pamphlets lying around…"
Tali laughed, appreciating the teasing, then hastened to reassure, "No, we have that quite figured out. No pamphlets needed."
"Good," Shepard answered, "So what's up then?"
"It's about the Geth," Tali informed her, wincing a bit when she saw the look of surprise and pain on Shepard's face. She had known it was likely to still be a sore subject, but she didn't know of a better person to advise her on her current situation. "The Fleet is divided. Severely. There are large, vocal members who want to increase efforts to restore the Geth, or failing that, rebuild them. There is an equally large, equally vocal contingent that won't hear of it, saying they refuse to repeat history."
Shepard nodded, she could fully appreciate both sides of the conflict since she had been the one to resolve the war between quarians and the Geth after they spent 300 years killing each other. What she didn't understand is why any of this concerned her. She turned to the person she had come to see as a little sister, and asked, "Ok, so what are you asking?"
Tali sighed, it always sounded strange through the breathing filter of her face mask. "I believe that the Geth were a sentient race. Legion taught me that. You taught me that. I believe we owe them, as their creators, any chance we can give that they may live again. But I'm not sure how to make the other side see that. And as long as the Admiralty Board is deadlocked over the issue, no progress can be made."
Shepard sucked a breath through her teeth and thought for a moment. She could see where this was headed and she honestly was sick of quarian politics. Any politics. Right then, she'd rather have fucking Jenny back. But this was Tali. Her friend. Her sister. Her loyal-from-start-to-finish crewmate. Shepard believed in loyalty. She respected it. And she always returned it in kind.
"So you want me to talk to them?" she asked Tali.
"Well," Tali replied, "I would have settled for telling me what to say, but, yes, that would be ideal."
"Have you considered that I may not be the most logical person to ask since I'm the reason the problem exists in the first place?" Shepard inquired patiently. "After all, it's because of me that the Geth are dead – not functioning – whatever." She finished with a wave of her hand. Synthetic metaphysics was not a subject in which she was fluent.
Tali thought for a moment about how to phrase her reply. She had known it was a risky proposition coming here, that Shepard may find her request anything from painful to tedious. She just knew that she had to try, she owed it to Legion and the rest of the Geth that had given the quarians back their homeworld. Once they could get to it again. She firmly believed that the Geth could be instrumental in those efforts, too, as well as once they did finally reach Rannoch again. It was a win for everyone. She just needed to convince the woman sitting across from her to help.
"I think it's because of that fact that you're the best candidate. As you said, the Geth don't exist anymore because of you, if you speak in favor of correcting that, they'd have to see reason," Tali implored, "they'd have to listen to you."
Shepard nodded - it did make a certain kind of sense. If she could make the Admirals see that the Geth were nothing more than collateral damage, inadvertent victims of the wave that destroyed the Reapers, perhaps they could see that it was only a fluke that had destroyed them. One that should be corrected. More, she could certainly remind them that their own evidence had shown the Geth to be sentient and appeal to their better natures. There was only one problem with the plan.
"Tali, what if I didn't want the Geth restored?" she asked her friend.
Tali froze, shocked. Of all the responses she had expected, that hadn't made the list. She knew Shepard saw the Geth as individual sentient beings. She knew that Shepard had sat with her on the soil of Rannoch, tears in her eyes, mourning Legion. She knew that Shepard had been suffering in guilt since she had found out the results of the Crucible firing. She had no frame of reference for a Shepard that wouldn't want the Geth back.
"You don't?" Tali asked, astonishment in her tone.
"I don't know," Shepard answered, giving Tali the only truth she could right now. Her feelings over the Geth were still very painful and she hadn't dissected them yet, but she also saw the bigger picture. Creating the Geth had resulted in a centuries-long war the first time. And she didn't believe that the quarians had become more trusting since. More importantly, the nightmare child's warnings about synthetics rising again and the cycle continuing rang in her ears. Reactivating the Geth was something she wanted to think about before she could give Tali her support. She regretted it, but she couldn't jump without looking this time.
"I need some time to think about it, Tali," she told the quarian sadly. "I hope you understand."
Tali nodded. She knew that the woman in front of her had been through hell in the past two months – which had only piled on top of four years of hell. She supposed the things Shepard had endured, the things that she had done, would shape and change her in those shoes as well. The least she could was give her friend the time and space to think about what was such a complicated issue even her race couldn't come to terms with it.
"Ok, Shepard," Tali replied, "you'll let me know when you decide?"
Shepard nodded. "Of course, I promise to get back to you soon." She turned troubled eyes to her friend and placed a hand on Tali's shoulder, "I'm sorry, Tali."
"Keelah, Shepard," Tali hastened to reassure, "you have nothing to apologize for. Quarian politics give me a headache. And I'm a quarian. A quarian Admiral." Tali laughed, then sobered, "I'll abide by whatever decision you make."
Shepard inhaled sharply. "That's not what I'm asking, Tali," she told her, "You don't need to change your opinion based on mine."
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy stood and placed a hand on her captain's shoulder. "Yes, I do, Shepard," she said quietly. "I will honor your decision because of all the people in this galaxy; you have the most right to make it." Then she walked out of the room to head back to her duties with the Fleet.
"Well, shit," Shepard growled to the empty room, "now I'm really cranky."