Author's Note: I don't own Victorious! Enjoy!

Beck's POV

I was starting school in a week and two days. I was bummed about it, but I was glad that I was spending my remainder of summer vacation with Tori. We had gotten close once again after the whole thing with Andre and her parents went down. As much as I wanted to, we weren't messing around anymore. We did snuggle sometimes while watching a movie or something. Sometimes while spooning, Tori would back up into my obvious boners and swerve her hips. It drove me crazy. She was a flirt and a tease. She acted like she wanted me one moment, then she'd remember that she loved Andre the next. Being the logical douchebag that I had become, I'd tell her things like "Out of sight, out of mind" or make sense of the agreement that remained between the two of them. If they went on a date, unless one asked the other about it, they never spoke of it. Tori would tell me that she knew Andre would possibly sleep with another girl, but that she couldn't. That is, until the other night.

Tori and I had sex for the first time ever the other night. And the great thing about it is that we weren't rolling. We were completely sober when she gave herself to me. Practically threw herself to me, I should say. She told me the morning after that it was a mistake. That she came to me out of weakness and despair. That I was just there, and she was just emotional. Way to make me feel like shit, huh? You bet. But it was probably one of the hottest sex sessions I ever had. And although she admitted that it didn't mean anything, she sure acted like she wanted me all the time.

I was expecting Tori today. She was living between my place and Robbie's house. She told me that even though Robbie had grown up a bit and was cooler than he used to be, his parents were weird. They ate stuffed cabbage in the morning, prayed like every hour on the hour, and timed each other's showers. If Tori took more than a ten minute shower, they'd make her do chores like a child. When I asked her why she couldn't stay with Cat and her Nona, she confided in me that she found Cat unbearably stupid to live with. And of course nobody wanted to live with Andre's grandmother - especially because she forgets faces and always screamed "I don't know you!" As for Jade, c'mon. They could never work out as roomies. So she stayed with me a lot of the time – where she could take twenty minute showers if she wanted to.

I heard some tapping on the window of my trailer, and moments later a rapping at the door. "Come in!" I said loudly. I was currently tuning my guitar. It would be my new thing this coming school year. No more acting for me.

"Hey Beck," Tori stepped in. "Guitar? Giving music a shot?" she asked before setting her bag down next to the door. She walked over and sat next to me on the bed.

"Yeah, well, anyone can read a god damn script. Music is a true talent," I said.

"But not everyone can deliver the script well," she shot back at me. "But whatever makes you happy, I thought you were a great actor," she continued before standing and making her way to my desk. She picked up my pack of cigarettes and lit one. She grabbed the ashtray before sitting down near the back of my bed, so her back was against the wall.

"Look, I just want to give music a better shot," I snapped back. I could feel her eyes all over me. I turned to her and she just looked down. "Hey, I'm sorry. It's just that my dad keeps giving me shit about how I should've graduated with you all. He just won't let it go, even though he fuckin' dropped out of high school. At least I'm trying…right?" And it was true. My father had become relentless about not letting this go. I mean, didn't he know that I already felt like shit because I was going to be nineteen when I graduated? Because I did. All of my friends moving away and whatnot was just a painful reminder. I was going to be at Hollywood Arts, with none of my friends.

"It's okay. I get it. Not about the school thing, but my parents won't let that thing between Andre and I go. My own father wouldn't even look me in the eye last time I was there getting clothes. My mom is still mad about it; less about catching us, more about us not using a condom. I feel that even if we were using one, she would probably still hate me, pfft," Tori explained. She took a drag from the cigarette before letting it escape through her nose, "I just can't wait to get to San Francisco. Away from them, because if they're going to treat me as if I don't matter, what's the point of staying here, you know?" she sighed.

"I'm gonna miss you, you know that right?" I asked.

"I know. I'll miss you too. It's going to be weird not to be next to you almost every day. I think I might even miss your snoring," she laughed.

"And I'll miss your drooling," I teased before feeling a pillow hit me in the back of the head.

"Shut uuuup," she pouted. "So, know any songs yet?"

"Just my own. I wrote a song but it's not perfect yet," I told her and began strumming my guitar to check if it sounded right.

"Ooh! I wanna hear it! What's it about?" she asked before crawling to the front of the bed once again to sit next to me.

"I told you, it's not perfect yet. And honestly? It's about you," I said. I wasn't looking, but I could hear her mouth open and her lips curl. I looked over and I was right. She was grinning.

"Wow, I've never had someone write a song about me! Heck, I haven't even written a song about me," she laughed and before I could tell her that she did she continued. "Oh, and 'Make It Shine' doesn't count – because even though I brought it to life, they were still Andre and Trina's lyrics."

"Ah ha. I was going to mention that," I smiled and started to put my guitar back in its case.

"C'mon Beck. Pleeeeeease?" she begged and pulled on my shirt a little. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Okay, fine. But you can't laugh. In fact, I don't even want you to look at me. Go back over there," I said and pointed to the spot she was earlier, behind me and out of sight. "Okay, here goes," I said and began to strum.

"Waking up is so hard to do
but I can always do it just for you.
And sleeping is so awful in the night
if you're not here for me to hold tight.

I can't believe the way I let my heart
fall for you harder than at the start.
The day we met was so bittersweet
'cause I was taken but you swept me off my feet…"

I stopped strumming and stopped singing, "The chorus is pretty simple, at least for right now. And I know I'm not much of a singer, and I know you're probably like, 'ew' but…" I was interrupted.

"Beck! I love it. Please, continue," she said. I didn't want to turn and look at her. I started to strum the chorus.

"I love you, always.
I love you, for days.
For weeks and months and years,
When I'm glad or holding back tears,
I love you, always.

Always in the afternoon it seems
that you are always in my daydreams.
The two of us together behind closed doors

And nothing else matters anymore.

When I'm with you it seems to be,
the only thing that makes me so happy
I know I shouldn't let it be this way,
but I can't help it, so I have to say…"

I stopped strumming once again and cleared my throat. I waited a second before I turned to look at her and I heard a little sniffle from behind. "Then the chorus goes for about three times and the song ends. I kind of want to put a bridge in there, but I haven't gotten around to writing it. Whaddya think?" I asked and turned around. Tori was looking up at the ceiling. I looked, too. "Am I missing something?"

"No, I'm just trying really hard not to cry. I really liked that song, Beck. It was sweet," she said while moving her hands in a fanning like motion – to dry her eyes I guess.

"I didn't mean for it to make you cry, Tori," I said and rushed over to my desk for a small box of tissues. I handed it to her and she took one.

"I know you didn't. And it was beautiful. But I can't help but feel like shit," she said while taking the tissue and blotting the corners of her eyes.

"I don't understand. It was just a little love song, nothing to-"

"Exactly, Beck! It was a love song. Love song. As in you love me, but I don't love you. And I try to imagine the two of us together, but I just can't. I'm not trying to be mean, but I just love Andre so much. You're a fantastic person. You're giving and nice and funny, not to mention gorgeous and every girl would probably tell me I'm stupid for NOT being your girlfriend – but I just can't. You're just always going to be a really good friend to me. Even if we cuddle. Even if we were to have sex again, it's just that, sex. And I'm sorry," she confessed.

There was a thick silence in the room that I could almost choke on. I simply walked back over to my desk and lit up a cigarette. I didn't cry. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I cried. I wasn't going to let some girl be the cause of my first recognized tear – but I was hurt. Deeply hurt because I was deeply in love with someone who would never love me back. Not in that way anyway. I heard her get off of the bed and felt a soft touch on my back. I turned to her.

"Tori, I'm not upset with you," I told her.

"You're not?"

"No. I'm mad at myself. I should've never tried to get so close with you. I'll admit, like you just confessed, that at first it was just a lust thing. I thought that you were just so sexy and I just wanted to fuck. Soon after, I began to notice I was thinking about you way more than I ever think about a girl. The last time this happened, I told the girl how I felt and we were boyfriend and girlfriend, just like that," I said, snapping my finger.

"Jade?" she asked. I nodded.

"I guess I thought if I could get a mean and nasty girl like Jade to love me, I could get any girl in the world to love me. Unfortunately, I don't want just any girl. I want you, but you don't want me. It's my own fault. You said that you wanted to remain friends at the beginning of the summer, and I tried so hard all this time to get you to love me that way. I should've listened, but now I'm so deep in this, I guess "love hole" that I can't dig myself out," I sighed and she hugged me. I took the cigarette from my lips and hugged her back with one arm, holding the other arm out so the cigarette wouldn't burn her.

"I'm sorry Beck. But when I'm gone, I know you'll find someone cooler and hotter and more into what you like to do. Maybe a cheerleader, hmm?" she smiled up at me. "Cheerleaders are sexy."

"You are some girl, Tori Vega. I'm gonna miss the fuck outta you," I said and sighed.

And it was very, very true.