Sometime...Somehow... Part X

Sorry I killed off Jennie but her being alive would interfere with things I have in mind for Rodney. And those few ep's I've seen where one member goes home, rides around in a Toyota wearing a suit n' tie or an old-man sweater for this or that (usually poorly done), plot drives me bonkers! If it ain't about the team and protecting Atlantis from their enemies (or something similar), it aint' Stargate!

No real slash in here but I thought I'd play around with a bit of what could be read as slashy dialogue. (But it's mostly Sheppard fucking with Rodney's head – mostly!).

XXXXXX

"You realise we're going to need permission from IOA to do this, right?" Weir reminded Sheppard who, unable to keep the worry out of his eyes, would every-so-often glance across the room to the walls that separated their little meeting room with the one where Rodney was getting some desperately needed sleep. "Without their permission we won't be allowed anywhere near Atlantis."

Sheppard nodded. "Then we'll have to convince them."

Weir crossed her arms. "Leave that to me. I can take Rodney's idea to Samantha Carter personally. I won't get arrested if I show my face at the SGC."

Sheppard nodded. "Right. Thanks Elizabeth. Let us know as soon as you can."

She laid one hand on his forearm. "Take care of him, okay?"

Eyes drifting to the wall where beyond was the room that contained a sleeping Rodney, re-born just five days ago, he assured her "Trust me - nothing's going to happen to him." Ever again.

XXX

Sheppard knew this was insane. Ronan knew it, too.

Rodney, however was happily nattering a string of instructions and reminders to them both as two of Sheppard's military drones were helping the three of them into their rotary-jointed aluminum/titanium-metal submersible suits with the inch thick glass port on the head-pieces. The scientist was almost ready to walk around in a drowned Atlantis at the bottom of the sea. Rodney, looking healthier but still far thinner than he should be, didn't seem to note that it was insane at all which, Sheppard decided, made him clearly insane.

Trying to divert his own attention off the risk Rodney was taking and back to their objectives he said "These suits are rated to a thousand meters so we shouldn't have any problems locating an Iratus bug."

Ronan, his hair tied back to keep it out of his face, was already encased in the suit's bulbous hulls complete with helmet. He had to switch on his suit's communicator to speak. "I still don't see how we're going to get one of them, especially wearing these things." The suits protected them from the pressure at the depths they were diving to and kept them alive but moving was slow and laborious.

Rodney, now locked in and sealed in his own suit, answered through the communicator. "I'll figure it out once we get down there." He picked up the water-sealed container that's sole purpose was to transport one Iratus bug back to the surface. "What are we waiting for?"

Ronan and Sheppard exchanged glances from behind their view portals, and then Sheppard called the Daedulus "Ready for transport."

The dry safety of the Daedulus's transporter platform was replaced by the murky, watery world of a flooded chamber. Sheppard activated his suit flood light, and Ronan and McKay did the same. They now had a better view of where they were.

Rodney reported. "I think this is the hallway outside the main tower."

Sheppard asked "Is that where the bugs are?"

Rodney shook his head inside his helmet. His head moved but the helmet didn't.

Sheppard asked again "Then where do we go?"

Rodney was already checking his little scanning unit that he'd tied to his suit so it could not get too far away from him. It was covered is several layers of clear plastic to protect its circuits from the water and Rodney had to pull the plastic tight across its face in order to read what it was telling him. "I'm getting life-signs in our seven o'clock position, about two hundred meters away - a large concentration of them." He dropped the device to let it swim with him on its umbilical and pointed behind him. "This way."

Sheppard noticed the scientist was already sweating. "Did Beckett give you a shot before we left?"

"No."

Not good. "Rodney, you need those shots. What about the pain?"

"I'm okay for now and besides the morphine clouds my thinking and I need to be sharp. I'll be all right for a while, stop fretting like a mother."

Sheppard followed him while Ronan brought up the rear. He had brought along both his Satedan-engineered hand-gun which, unlike the SGC-issued weaponry, had the virtue of being water-proof, plus he has strapped his long knife to his suit's right calf casing. Ronan noticed Sheppard looking at it and said by way of explanation. "You can never be too careful."

Sheppard nodded. "Always a good idea." He watched Rodney's back. "Think he's doing okay?"

"Looks like so far, so good." Ronan answered.

"Uh, hey..." Rodney's voice came through the channel. "I can hear you. These suits are on continuous VOX you know, like permanent conference calling...so stop talking behind my back. I'm fine."

You mean finicky, irritating, neurotic and emotional? Sheppard thought and then sighed. "Well, you don't mind if I worry about my friend who spent the last thousand years buried on an alien planet? And who is now walking where he could get himself killed."

"Well, stop staring at my back. And stop treating me like an invalid- I said I'm fine. Besides we're almost there." Rodney stopped. "Hey..."

Sheppard and Ronan stopped beside him. "What?"

"According to these readings, the chamber on the other side of this isn't flooded."

"Why didn't the Daedulus's scanners see that?" Ronan asked.

"Because it's too small to have been easily distinguishable from the surrounding water, but now that we're this close it's clear. It also means we can call the ship and have the transporter beam us in there." He pointed straight ahead. "There's still plenty of oxygen and that means we can get out of these suits."

Sheppard stared at him. "Rodney, these suits are what will protect us from the Iratus bugs."

"And are what might prevent us from catching one alive. " Rodney countered "That is what Beckett wanted, not to mention what I need - a living adult Iratus."

Sheppard narrowed his eyes. "You knew there might be an open chamber down here, didn't you?"

Rodney sounded smug, even through the comm-link. "I suspected it – yes."

"And you thought I would let you beam in there, alone, to catch one all by yourself?"

Rodney sounded less smug, but just as sure of himself. "Yes. What choice do we have? One of us has to go in."

Sheppard said "Well, no chance in hell, Rodney, is it going to be you."

Rodney sighed. "Look, we need to catch one of those bugs. I don't care which one of us gets the damn thing but don't tell me you want to go back without trying? Where's the brave American colonel I used to know and lo...t-to know?"

Sheppard snapped "He's alive and well, thanks! If anyone's going in there, it'll be me or Ronan. How many Iratus are we talking about anyway?"

"Can't tell." Rodney checked his readings. "Readings aren't that specific, but lots, hundreds probably - maybe thousands. But it's a big tower so they're probably spread out. It's unlikely more than a few hundred are contained in this next smaller chamber."

"Hey, we only have another half hour of air in these things." Ronan reminded them. "If we're going to do this, let's go."

"A few hundred huh? " Sheppard repeated "That's...comforting." He looked up at the tall Satedan and said "Since we all have enough air..." then to Rodney "all three of us are going." Sheppard called the Daedulus while he glared at Rodney. "Daedulus, three to transport to these coordinates."

XXX

The chamber was dry and as dark as night. Once the three deep sea divers had shimmied out of their suits, Sheppard and Ronan set them down and aside in such a way as to allow the flood lights to illuminate as much of the chamber as possible. Sheppard looked up. Beyond the beams of photons, the chamber rose in the darkness to hundreds of feet, the ceiling far out of reach to the light. He looked over at Rodney, glad to be able to move freely again. "Now what?" He kept one eye above him as he addressed Rodney. The Iratus had to be up there somewhere, lurking in the darkness above their heads. Above our vulnerable, vulnerable heads.

Rodney was fiddling with his instrument. "We need some way to stir them, shake them loose from where-ever they are."

Suddenly Ronan tilted back his head and let out with a blood curdling scream, making Sheppard jump back about a foot.

"What the hell are you doing?" Sheppard asked the Satedan while he felt his heart hammering in his chest in protest.

Ronan shrugged and said "It was worth a try."

Sheppard glowered at him and turned to Rodney who, for some inexplicable reason, had been totally un-phased by it. The scientist was still studying his geek-magic-tablet. Rodney noticed both of his colleagues staring at him and raised one finger. "I think I have it."

Sheppard frowned. "Have what Rodney?" He was getting truly impatient with his friend's habitual keeping things from them. It was an old feeling and as much as it still made him as crazy as it always had it was also oddly comforting. Rodney may have been gone for years, thought of as dead, and just brought back to life, but he was still Rodney through-and-through. At least some things were again right with the world.

"A frequency that might make the Iratus' swarm."

Sheppard felt his heart speed up again. "We don't want them to swarm. Swarm equals attack and some nasty stuff done to your person. Trust me, been there, done that. We don't need hundreds of Iratus, all we need is one."

"You're planning on crawling up the wall to get one, Spidey?" Rodney asked with no little sarcasm. "If we want one, we have to make them come to us."

"I plan on coming out of this with my neck intact, Morbius! Now find another way."

Ronan stepped up to end the discussion. "Look, you two get back in your suits and I'll catch one of the damn things."

Rodney saw the Satedan draw his weapon. "Uh, no way Conan – are you nuts? NO firing. You want to bring the walls and about a trillion gallons of sea water down on our heads? Knife only, and don't hurt it either."

Sheppard didn't like anyone risking themselves, other than himself of course, but it made sense since Ronan had been the hunted once, he no doubt had learned a few things about being the hunter. "Do your best." was all he could think to say to Ronan, who re-slung his energy weapon back in its modified submersible suit holster and wielded his Satedan machete.

Sheppard said "Come on Rodney; get back in your suit."

Once Rodney was safely encased in the cumbersome suit once more, he activated the electronic shriek to get the Iratus air born. Ronan spent the next ten minutes ducking and leaping in the air trying to nab one with his hand or slice one with his big knife while Rodney kept up a litany of running advice on just how to do that. "No, no, we need it alive, Ronan, not cut in two. Stop spinning like a ballerina and stand still...you're not even getting close...there's one...get-it-get-it-get-it!...oh for crying out...no, not like that – are you trying to kill it? Over there! Hurry, come on...I thought you were the Cave man? This should be easy for you...Watch out! Damnit! Well, you almost had it...Shit!" Finally throwing up his hands, which was not very high in the confines of the stiffly jointed suit "We're running out of time."

Before Sheppard could say nay, Rodney was already shedding his own suit, stepping out of it as quickly as possible, letting the entire thing crash to the floor, making a huge racket. Ignoring the Iratus bugs swooping down from the darkness just inches above his head, he stepped around the discarded suit and approached Ronan.

As this was happening, Sheppard was yelling "Rodney, what the hell?" Sheppard began fumbling with his own suit, trying to unlock and free himself, but one of his pressure seals jammed. He silently cursed it while screaming at Rodney "Get back in your suit right now, McKay. That's an order!"

Rodney shook his head at him and stopped beside Ronan. "We need one of these things or this whole trip is a waste." He said to Sheppard over his shoulder.

As Sheppard worked to free himself from his own suit (a difficult process with a seal that kept binding up), intending to tackle Rodney and dress him in the suit again himself if need be, Rodney simply ignored him spoke to Ronan who had watched the whole argument. The Satedan was breathing hard from his exertion. The Flying Iratus were so fast, although movement could be seen, any individual Iratus could not. Around their heads each was a blur through the air and little more. Miraculously, none of the bugs had yet attempted a dive-bombing to latch on to their tasty necks.

Rodney reached for Satedan's knife with grabby fingers. "Come on, give it here."

Ronan looked at Sheppard who - fuming mad - was still trying to wiggle out of his suit though closer to success, and then said softly to Rodney. "Rodney, you know how pissed Sheppard's going to be."

Rodney knew their time was short. Ignoring Sheppard's threats of serious bodily harm, he admitted "Maybe but look - we may have enough air down here to last us a while, but we're still under six hundred feet of ocean and that means water pressure. The longer we're down here out of our suits with our bodies exposed to it, the longer we'll have to decompress, and time is one thing we don't have if we want to save Atlantis from a permanent watery grave."

Ronan hesitated when Sheppard, suspecting a conspiracy in their whispered words, warned "Both of you get back in your suits. Now!"

Rodney looked straight into the big man's worried eyes and said "Being in a grave sucks, Ronan, and I should know. Atlantis deserves more than to be left down here and slowly buried under a hundred feet of coral and sand – okay? - so may I please have the knife?"

Ronan handed it over and began donning the metal suit once again. Sheppard cursed a blue streak as Rodney took the knife, stepping away from the light into darkness, away from their sight entirely. "Goddamnit! Rodney, you crazy s-o-b! - get back here." Sheppard was finally out of his suit altogether and walked over to Ronan, but Ronan held him back with one massive arm.

Sheppard was about to turn his venom on Ronan when "Wait, Sheppard. Give him a chance." Ronan said softly. "I have a feeling he can do this."

Fists clenched in fear and anger, Sheppard trembled in his anxiety to just forget the whole reason they had come, grab Rodney, toss him over his shoulder and pack him back off to the ship. But instead he made his feet stay where they were while Ronan aimed his suits' flood light in the direction of where Rodney had disappeared into the inky black surrounding them.

The light found him again, and they watched in horror and fascination as Rodney stopped at a seemingly random spot that looked no different than any other spot in the chamber. Staying very still and standing as tall as his five-foot-nine would allow, he didn't move a muscle while the blurs that were the Iratus bugs swooped down so close as to disturb the tufts of hair standing up on his head. The semi-darkness appeared to be dark enough that it did not disturb the bugs as much as the blinding full force of all three suits' flood lights.

For many seconds Rodney stood there waiting. Suddenly in one fluid motion, and so swiftly done they could hardly believe their eyes, Rodney surprised them by jumping several feet in the air, swinging the knife in a wide arc around his body, then coming down fast and ending up in a low crouch balanced on the balls of his feet. It had been a smoothly executed, acrobatic move and a new talent from the little mathema-genius that neither of them had ever before witnessed.

Ronan, standing beside his former commander heard Sheppard muttering under his breath about forever locking up all crazy scientists and throwing away the key. He commented "Come on Sheppard. You gotta' admit that was pretty cool."

Rodney walked back to them, and on the end of the long knife wiggled an Iratus bug about twelve inches in length, all four of its iridescent wings impaled on the end of the blade, still alive but totally helpless. While holding up the Iratus bug like a hotdog on a stick, by way of explanation a slightly sheepish Rodney said to Sheppard "I had to kill a lot of big bugs on Gobi Prime...for dinner-like. I mean, they couldn't fly but they could, you know, jump really high." At Sheppard's still reddened and furious expression, Rodney even managed to sound contrite, adding "I'm sorry, but I didn't think you'd let me if I just asked."

At the whole spectacle Sheppard couldn't think of an appropriate thing to say except "Well, at least we got the damn thing now. Let's get the hell out of here."

XXX

The Iratus was delivered to Beckett and Zelenka, plus a couple of Daedulus geneticists familiar with nanite technology, so it could be studied and any new abilities identified and categorized.

Meanwhile Sheppard escorted an exhausted Rodney to some mess hall food, the men's showers, and then back to their tiny assigned quarters for the duration of the two week flight back to Earth.

Rodney looked around the tiny room with dismay, and especially at the small bed. "One bed?" He stared at the young military private who had escorted them to the room. Rodney tossed a thumb in Sheppard's general direction. "Where is he sleeping?"

The young fellow raised one eyebrow at Sheppard and answered "It was, er, the Colonel's request, sir – one double bed." Then closed the door and left them alone.

Rodney stared at Sheppard like he'd gone off the wall. "We can't share one bed. And that is not a double bed. That is a Super Single bed. We can't both fit in that bed."

Sheppard sat down and removed his boots. "Yes we can."

Rodney's voice spiked half an octave. "No we can't."

"Why not? We've slept in worse. We've slept on the ground before, McKay."

Rodney looked disturbed. "Yes but not side by side."

"Well, during this flight, we will be. Space on this ship is at a premium. Only the captain gets a private room, so..."

"It'll hurt my back and...and there's not enough room. Hello - recently reborn man here, not a hundred percent yet. You should be a gentleman and sleep on the floor."

"I'm not sleeping on the floor, Rodney, and where you are concerned I make no promises to ever be a gentleman." Sheppard smiled to himself when he saw the confusion on Rodney's face. It hadn't made complete sense but that was the point. McKay thought it should make sense and it was clear from the sudden dip between his brows that he couldn't figure it out.

"I can't sleep on the floor," Rodney protested once more, abandoning his struggle to decipher Sheppard's previous words, "that's worse than sharing the bed. It'll cripple me."

Sheppard reached into his pants pocket and withdrew a small black case, opening it up and setting it on the small bedside dresser. Inside were three hypodermics of morphine, a rubber tie and alcohol swabs in their tinfoil and paper coverings.

Rodney noticed. "Hey, where'd you get that? You're not the doctor, how come they gave you the morphine?"

"Because the doc' gave me a crash course and this ship is short a nurse right now. Don't worry, I won't hurt you." He noticed the perspiration on Rodney's forehead, despite the coolness of the room. "It would be about this time of day you'd get a shot –right - just before bed?"

Rodney nodded. He had been gritting his teeth against the returning pain for several minutes already.

Sheppard motioned for him to roll up his left sleeve and Rodney, for a change, complied without argument. Sheppard quickly wrapped Rodney's upper arm with a rubber tie, swabbed the spot above his bulging vein and depressed the plunger, shooting its sweet relief home. The tension on Rodney's face almost immediately eased.

But that didn't mean he was done fighting. "I can't believe you're making me share a bed with you."

Sheppard could read between the lines of Rodney's fragile ego but he had his own agenda. "Look, Rodney, sharing a bed doesn't mean we're engaged. I promise I won't make a pass at you, but I need to keep an eye on you and since you've already taken it upon yourself to risk your life against my orders, it seems I have no choice but to stay with you every minute. So it looks like we'll be cuddling down every night until we get back to Earth – so suck it up big guy."

"I don't want to suck...I mean...I mean this is...is ridiculous. And I didn't disobey your order."

Sheppard sighed. It seemed to be a whole new discussion now. "Oh, no? And what do you call risking your life, against my direct command, to catch an Iratus bug?"

"Well, um, you never gave me that order in the first place. Besides, I'm not in the military anymore.' Rodney crossed him arms, readying for a fight, if not to win the argument then at least to get a second bed brought to the room. "You can't give me orders anymore. And stop calling me big guy. That's Ronan's nick name, not mine."

""Big guy", Mister Socially Impotent, is a term of affection in case you didn't know, and I'm pretty damn sure you don't have a nick name."

"Well then I'll make one up myself." Rodney's eyes lit up. "Call me Science Guy. I like it. That would be fine."

Sheppard started unbuttoning his military issue jacket, answering Rodney in no uncertain words "I am not going to call you Science Guy."

"Well Genius Man then. I admit it has less zing but..."

"Listen Rodney-Man," Sheppard stood up. Even in his sock feet, he had a couple of inches over the scientist and stood toe to toe with him, ensuring his words would not be misinterpreted. "You're on a military ship and I'm a military guy and as long as you're sharing my military quarters, you will do exactly as I say."

Rodney tilted his head up in a show of defiance. "Or you'll what?"

Sheppard thought for a few seconds, then thrust one thumb over his shoulder and said in a deadly tone so there would be no doubt in Rodney's mind that he would follow through on his threat "Or I'll have them bring in an actual single bed instead of that nice comfy Super-Single over there."

Rodney let his arms fall to his sides. "This sucks. And I said I was sorry about grabbing the bug a dozen times now. When are you going to let it drop?"

"Not for a while yet." In his head Sheppard could still see Rodney being throttled by one of the bugs and dying in his arms. The damn mental film refused to end.

Sounding like he knew he was about to lose the argument, Rodney said "Well, we got the damn bug didn't we? It's what we went down there for."

Sheppard removed his jacket and pulled his tee-shirt over his head, tossing both on top of the tiny dresser. "I'm not unhappy that you got the bug, Rodney, I'm unhappy that you didn't give me any warning, and that you marched off to get it yourself without even giving us the chance to protect you. You could have died."

Rodney found and plopped down on the only other piece of furniture in the room besides the bed and the small dresser, a straight backed wood chair. "I wasn't thinking about anything else, all right? The bugs didn't seem to be attacking us. They didn't seem interested in us at all. I didn't see that there was much risk."

Sheppard stood and undid his pants and Rodney turned his head, then realised it was pointless to try and respect each other's modesty when the bed would force them into spooning for most of the night. "Well, let's call it a draw and get some sleep." Sheppard for one was already at least one day's march beyond dead tired.

Trying for one last weak swing at victory, Rodney pouted "I'm not sleepy."

Sheppard shook his head at the stubbornness of the man. "It's amazing Katie lasted as long as she did with you. Getting you to help yourself is like pulling teeth from a rabid Wraith. I can see your eyelids drooping from here, McKay. You're about to collapse, so stop being such a sissy and get in bed. Besides you're thinner now - plenty of room." Sheppard said.

Rodney rubbed his burning eyes as he idly watched Sheppard getting undressed. He was tired and yawned, mostly trying to kill time as he tried to figure a way out of the whole situation. But Sheppard's slim, muscled legs, shaded with straight dark hair, walked the short distance to the bed and turned it down. He also had a thick bush of hair on his chest. The guy was pretty hairy and Rodney suddenly gave thanks for his sparser covering of body hair, even though it meant he would no doubt be losing the hair on his head far sooner than the Colonel.

Sheppard crawled under the covers and decided it was time for some fun - Bug-the-Hell-Out-of-Rodney style. He propped himself up on one elbow, folded back the open corner of the blankets a little further and patted the empty space. "Come on McKay, it's time for Mister Sandman."

Rodney closed his eyes and moaned under his breath. "God save me from army guys." Throwing his own delicate sense of modesty aside, he stripped to his boxers and crawled in. "I knew I shouldn't have jumped in the hole."

Sheppard frowned. "What hole?"

Weary for sleep Rodney turned on his side, away from his former commander, and closed his eyes, sighing heavily. "Never mind."

"'Nite Rodney." But his new-born friend had already drifted off.

Sheppard lay awake for some time, listening to Rodney's even breathing. His body was tired but his mind restless. Rodney was clearly not sleeping soundly because he was restless as well, shifting around twice in ten minutes, first onto his left side and then onto his stomach. Sheppard tentatively placed his left palm on the small of Rodney's back. The man had mentioned back pain, so Sheppard tried rubbing his hand in small circles. Maybe it would settle the scientist down a little and they would both be able to sleep.

Suddenly it came to him what Rodney had meant. In order for him to have been found in a layer of nine thousand year-old insect eggs, he would have to have made the conscious choice to cocoon himself in them. He would have had to jump in, or jump down into them. That's what he had meant when he mentioned a hole. How otherwise would he have got himself into such a place?

Rodney had effectively committed what he had known to be a suicidal leap into almost certain gooey drowning and death. Sheppard wished he could have been there with him on "Gobi Prime", Rodney's name for the planet that had, ironically, not only saved his life but delivered him back home to his friends and family.

Zelenka had privately explained to him about the planet's unusual orbit around its red giant sun and the other intersecting orbits of the gas giants that, like clockwork, every ten thousand years drew closer to Gobi's orbit with the result of pulling the planet away from its host star and out into the farther reaches of the solar system, bringing a deep freeze to its surface and killing off every living thing. "Had Rodney chosen to take his chances on the surface of the planet, he surely would have died." Zelenka had said. "We would never have gotten him back."

Zelenka had also suggested that, once all the fuss over Rodney being back and their stealing him away from the Terra Cotta II, that the planet should be named in his honor. "McKay Gobi Prime" Zelenka had suggested, saying he would bring it up with SGC and Earth's top SGC scientific and astrological advisory council members.

Sheppard smiled in the dark. Rodney would publically scoff at the idea and run from the scrutiny of his personal life such an acclaim might bring but be secretly pleased by it. Rodney stirred a bit, and turned from his stomach onto his right side again but in doing so had shifted to near center of the bed, crowding Sheppard even more. Sheppard had to shift onto his side a bit to allow room for him, tucking his right arm above his head and up under his pillow. But now there was nowhere to lay his left arm, so he decided to just use McKay as a convenient pillow and gently eased it down onto McKay's side. Sheppard was glad to feel a little meat on Rodney's ribs again. Maybe this time he could convince the scientist to get more exercise to try and retain his new lithe shape.

It was warm and comforting being this close to Rodney and where before he would have done almost anything to avoid being so up close and personal to another male, especially with so much sharing of naked skin, sleeping beside Rodney did not bother him at all because it was Rodney. His best friend was alive and lying next to him, their bodies touching, and he could listen to his friend's breathing and know for certain it would continue. He could also smell Rodney's freshly showered skin and it did not seem weird or unnatural or even sexual. It seemed only right and perfect.

Sheppard draped his arm all the way over Rodney's torso, tucking it under his friend's bent right arm and closed his eyes, whispering into his sleep-deaf ear "Welcome home."

XXX