I am so, so, so sorry about the long wait between this chapter and the last. I'm sure you can all understand how busy life can get when it gets close to Christmas, followed by actual Christmas and then New Years. Add to all that my Step-Mum gave birth a few days after Christmas and ... Well, suffice to say I was hardly even home over the Christmas break which made it difficult to try and post this.
The point is - I'm sorry about the delay, guys. Also, thankyou to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I'm just so happy that you've all enjoyed this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it.
I really hope that this chapter was worth the wait - It was one of my favourites to write. So, I hope you thoroughly enjoy reading it =)
It was only once the other students began to return to Oxford that Erik realised something small, and undefinable had changed with his and Charles' relationship. He couldn't quite figure out what it was though, since they still did everything that they used to – Charles still invaded his room practically every night, and they still spent hours huddled on Erik's bed watching movies, or TV shows, or whatever it was that Charles had decided to bring with him that night. They still played chess every Tuesday night, and they were still able to do their schoolwork in companionable silence.
It was just … Perhaps it was Erik's imagination, or maybe it was simply that he was more aware of it now that Charles was wearing the threaded ring, but Charles seemed to touch Erik more than before. It was subtle, like a brush of fingers when they exchanged notes, or when they were watching movies and Charles shifted that little bit closer so that Erik's focus moved from the movie to the body heat he could feel radiating from the other man. There were just a lot of things that Erik decided Charles couldn't possibly be aware of.
In a lot of ways, it was driving Erik decidedly crazy – He couldn't remember having to take this many long showers since he was a teenager – but at the same time, he was making a valiant effort to ignore it, certain that Charles didn't even realise he was doing it.
There was also the fact that Erik couldn't chase away the feeling that Charles was waiting for something. It wasn't often that he felt it, but there were decidedly times – Like, when Erik would suddenly get the feeling he was being watched, and he'd look up from the chessboard to realise that Charles was watching him, a strange look in his eye, and his lips curled into a small smile – that he felt that Charles was waiting for something, felt it as surely as he could feel the metal in the room. It was just another of Charles' quirks, Erik ended up deciding though and chose to ignore it in the same way that he ignores Charles' constant presence in the back of his mind.
~X~
Erik was well aware that meeting Charles and that fight in the cafeteria had significantly lessened the hard-edge that had kept students away from him back in high school. He just hadn't realised exactly how much it had lessened until February the fourteenth came around, and he opened his door that morning to see that there was a small pile of chocolates lying outside his room.
It wasn't until Erik actually picked one up curiously that he realised with horror that he was receiving Valentines chocolate. His image had been dulled to the point that people actually felt confident enough to give him Valentines chocolate.
Charles simply laughed at him when Erik grouched about this over breakfast.
"It's horrible! All these sappy letters professing love, but not a single one is brave enough to actually include who it's from – Not that it would matter because I don't even know anyone's names unless you've forced me to become acquainted with them. But that's beside the point! Not to mention, why do they all seem to think that Chocolate is the best thing to give someone? Nevermind the fact that anyone who knew me would know that I can't stand sweets, what about the damage it does to ones teeth? Do they not have any regard for future effects?"
"Erik, you're thinking about this entirely too much," Charles chuckled, and the telepath was lucky that Erik was unbearably fond of him, or else he would have hit him for daring to laugh at his plight. "I happen to think it's a romantic notion."
For one split second, Erik was actually disappointed that he hadn't thought to get Charles something for Valentines day then – Until he remembered that he was doing his damnedest to not let Charles know how he felt about him.
"Excuse me Erik, but I've got a lecture in ten minutes I don't particularly want to be late for. Try not to abuse those who have the courage to tell you their feelings to your face, won't you?" Charles suggested, his tone belying his amusement at the entire thing.
Charles was already walking out of the cafeteria before Erik yelled out "Tell me that's not going to happen Charles! Please tell me that doesn't happen!" Charles simply looked back over his shoulder to Erik with a smile on his face, before shrugging, and Erik paled considerably before he considered simply hiding in his room for the rest of the day.
'No hiding Erik', Charles thought at him, and Erik could feel the amusement in his words, and he scowled as he stabbed a bit of bacon with more force than was necessary, 'That wouldn't be fair to those wanting to enjoy the day. Oh, and be wary of the girl in the mini skirt by the way. Her plan is to corner you in the stairwell and thoroughly kiss you. Amusing that they don't seem to realise that you're gay.'
'Shut up Charles. This is an absolute nightmare. Thank you oh so much for the warning'
Charles simply mentally laughed at him as Erik glared resentfully at the chair he'd been sitting in a few moments before. Erik made a point to avoid as many stairs as possible for the rest of that day.
. . .
Erik had been so focused on lamenting about his own misfortune, he'd forgotten to take into account that Charles might be going through the same treatment. This error in judgement occurred to him rather abruptly on his way from his third lecture to lunch. Or, more specifically, he was forced to come to realise this error when he stumbled upon the sight of Charles' hand being held by some random guy in the hallway.
All of the doors on that floor suddenly jerked open, much to the student's surprise. Erik didn't even realise he'd lost control, he was too busy focusing on the way that Charles was blushing slightly, focusing on the fact that Charles was actually smiling a little as he was wooed by some irritating, human. Erik was entirely too focused on the fact that someone was even daring to hold Charles hand – And the one with the ring from Erik firmly on his finger, at that! – to even care that a few of the students were giving him bewildered stares as they rushed past.
He'd just started to march towards the two, when Charles looked over in his direction, and the way that his amused grin gave way to a wide, pleased smile managed to soothe a few of Erik's ruffled feathers. It didn't stop him from glaring at the sandy-haired guy who was still holding onto Charles' hand though. Erik fought against the want to smile maliciously as the stranger dropped Charles' hand, trying to return Erik's glare. The human failed miserably to appear threatening when he visibly flinched as Erik flashed his teeth at him though.
"Charles," Erik ground out through clenched teeth, trying to appear pleasant, if only so that Charles wouldn't scold him for being rude. "I thought you were meant to be in a lecture right now."
"The teacher was curiously absent today. They said he's sick, but it's a lie, of course. He just wanted to take his sweetheart out for Valentines. You can't tell me that isn't adorable."
"Yes, yes, adorable. So, who's your friend?" Erik asked, trying – and failing – to keep the growl out of his voice and Charles looked back over to the Sandy-haired guy who was starting to look a touch offended at the way he'd been ignored, or maybe interrupted. Erik didn't really care, he just wanted the other guy to leave Charles alone.
"Oh," Charles said, blushing slightly, "This is Nick," and then his eyes turned big and apologetic, and Erik scowled as he watched. "I'm really sorry, but I can't indulge you on your offer. I'm flattered that you would ask though."
"Of course," Nick said, his tone mildly affronted and his mud-brown eyes narrowing slightly as he continued to look down at Charles. Erik was tempted to take hold of the dog tags that were hanging around his neck and tighten them, and the sole reason why he didn't was because Charles had stretched his fingers out so that they were resting on the back of Erik's hand. It was amazing, and a touch frightening, how that simple gesture was enough to calm Erik down.
"I didn't realise you were spoken for," Nick said slowly, his eyes narrowing even more as his eyes flicked down to where Charles' hand was resting against Erik's, and Erik realised that although he knew it was simply Charles telling him to relax, to any onlookers … Charles didn't really help that impression as he blushed a bright red at the insinuation.
"Oh. No, no, you misunderstand. That isn't why -"
"Whatever," Nick muttered, before stalking away, and Erik cocked his head with narrowed eyes. He could feel that there was metal on his shoes …
"Come on Charles, let's get lunch," he said, only partially paying attention to the man beside him as he focused his mind on the metal he could feel retreating.
As soon as Charles said, "Yes, alright," a blush still on his cheeks as he turned to head towards the cafeteria, Erik pulled the metal in Nick's shoes out from under him, allowing himself a moment of vindictive pleasure as he saw the other man fall flat on his face.
Charles, of course, looked up at him reproachfully. "That wasn't very nice Erik."
Erik simply shrugged, "He was rude to you," he said, and Charles smiled a little as he shook his head.
"What am I going to do with you?" he sighed, and Erik had to bite on the inside of his cheek to stop the several inappropriate responses that came to mind.
. . .
During his next lecture though, Erik paid hardly any attention. He simply sat there, twirling his pen through his fingers, with a frown on his face.
Nick had brought a problem to the forefront of Erik's mind, one he hadn't even considered before - Somebody could potentially take Charles away from him. The thought hadn't even crossed his mind, considering Charles spent all his free time with Erik anyway. But, Charles was a caring person and had a big heart, so it was entirely possible that Charles could come to fall in love with someone … Someone who wasn't Erik.
The mere thought was enough for him to gnash his teeth together. Already he wanted to kill the one who was foolish enough to try and steal Charles away, and it was simply a hypothetical scenario.
As he thought about it, Erik realised that there were often times when he'd look at the younger man and realise that Charles was blushing with a fond smile on his face, and Erik's blood turned cold at the thought. What if there was someone Charles cared for and Erik simply had no idea?
Erik realised then and there that he'd been naïve if he'd thought he'd be able to get away without telling Charles the way he'd felt. A fool to think that things would have been able to continue on the way they had because, as much as Erik was terrified that Charles would decide he couldn't continue a friendship with Erik because the feelings weren't mutual … It would be more painful to simply be his friend and watch him fall in love with someone else. The very idea was one that Erik couldn't stand to consider.
With a shuddering breath, Erik promised himself that he would tell Charles soon. He just needed some time to figure out how, what he should say exactly, how much he should say ... The very concept of telling Charles his little secret was enough to make Erik's heart race with anticipation, and no small amount of anxiety.
Lost in thought as he was, Erik didn't realise that the lecture had finished and that it was simply himself and one other student left in the classroom. A student that had sat there chewing at his lower lip, and watching Erik with a terrified expression on his face for the past five minutes
Sucking in a steadying breath, the dark haired man gathered enough courage to actually come to stand in front of Erik's desk. Erik didn't even react until they stuttered, "Erik? Uh, Erik Lensherr?"
Half sighing-Half growling as he was broken out of his thoughts, Erik looked up at the dark haired student with a deep scowl on his face. He was given very little chance to do much more than that though before the other student had taken advantage of the height difference and had pressed his lips to Erik's.
As for Erik, he was completely taken by surprise at the sudden assault. So much so that he simply sat there for a few seconds blinking with shock, a little startled that someone would invade his space so thoroughly. He was so caught in his surprise that Erik didn't realise somebody had come to an abrupt halt in the doorway before they ducked back out of sight.
And then Erik realised with a jolt that he was being kissed by someone he didn't even know, someone who definitely wasn't Charles, and he wasted no time in introducing his fist to the other student's face.
"First of all," he snapped as the dark haired man looked over at Erik, licking at his split lip, "If you're gonna kiss someone, you should damn well make sure they're interested first. Second, I'm not."
"I know that," the dark haired man muttered, and it only served to further irritate Erik, so much so that he almost punched him again.
"Why the hell would you do it then?" he snarled, instead.
The man simply shrugged his shoulders and said, "I had to try, and it seemed like the only time to try since you're always accompanied by that Xavier kid."
Erik simply looked at the other man with disgust before he snatched up his bag and stormed out of the room, fuming at the audacity of people as he went. Erik didn't even realise he was rubbing at his lips with the edge of his shirt as he went.
As soon as he stepped out of the classroom though, he felt a ring that had become all too familiar to him in recent times, and he inexplicably felt a twinge of guilt as he saw Charles standing there.
Charles' expression was clouded and his mouth a tight little frown as he looked down at his shoes, one foot actually scuffing at the floor, which Erik had never seen him do before. After a moment, Erik realised he actually looked angry, and his feeling of guilt only intensified, even though he had no reason to feel guilty.
"Charles…" Erik said, unsure of what he was going to say – And really, what was there he could say? I'm sorry that some guy forced himself on me? That wasn't something Erik should have to apologise for.
"I … I'm not really sure what to say," Charles spoke, and his voice was some strange mix between annoyed, and upset, and it did funny things to Erik's heart.
"Why you're here when you're meant to be in class, could be a start?" Erik found himself saying, and he realised at the sudden glare that Charles shot him that his tone was actually defensive. Oh, buggering hell.
"I'm here, because I saw that you were zoning out and completely unaware of the fact that you were about to get molested. I came to try and stop it," Charles snapped, drawing himself up to his full height, and a few people passing by actually started walking slower as they watched, sensing a fight. Erik was too incensed to care. Charles' tone had been accusatory, and that was entirely uncalled for, in Erik's opinion.
"Then you'd also be aware that I'd been taken by surprise," he snapped back.
"You certainly looked as though you were enjoying it!"
Erik opened his mouth to snarl about idiocy when the guy he'd punched sidled past, pausing to give Erik a wistful look, and Charles a curious glare. Charles, much to Erik's surprise, actually bared his teeth at the dark haired student before he hissed in a frosty tone, "Leave," and, for a change, it wasn't Erik that someone was running away from.
With raised eyebrows, he looked back down at Charles, and realised that there was more to the situation than he knew. Charles' overbright eyes something of a give away. "Charles, what-," he started to ask, but the shorter man cut him off.
"You really have no idea, do you Erik?" he muttered with a soft sigh, before sweeping around and walking away, leaving Erik standing there in the hallway calling out "Charles!" and feeling distinctly uncomfortable as all eyes swivelled from Charles' retreating form, to look at him instead.
Erik's cheeks flushed a little as the undeniable feeling of shame swept through him, and he growled at the onlookers before storming away in the opposite direction that Charles had gone, choosing to wander the campus instead of retreating to his room.
Somehow, Erik couldn't shake the idea that he was missing something. There was something that should be obvious that he simply wasn't seeing, and it was infuriating.
~X~
In the days that followed, Charles was exceptionably irritable, to say the least.
He'd taken to glaring at whoever came near their table with surprising vehemence, even as he smiled politely at them, which was a rather unsettling combination to see. Each time that he did, Erik was caught somewhere between being proud of the fire behind that glare, and frustration because he couldn't understand why Charles was suddenly glaring at everyone. It was unlike him.
Then there was also the way that, even though Charles still came to Erik's room for movie nights, he seemed to make a point to sit in the corner of the bed furthest away from where Erik had seated himself. As if that wasn't peculiar enough after months of having Charles so close he could feel his body heat, the two hardly spoke in this time. Once, it felt so awkward that Erik ended up kicking Charles out after an hour, claiming he needed sleep. Charles didn't even protest, he simply nodded and bade Erik a good night.
Everything was just strange. Whenever Erik tried to question him about it though, Charles would turn his newly perfected glare on him before sighing, "It's nothing Erik,", and then proceeded to gather his things and leave for a class – It wasn't until the third time that this happened that Erik realised Charles had finished his classes for the day, and it just added to the whole feeling that something was wrong.
Then there were those words that Charles had said before walking away from him. You really have no idea, do you Erik? They kept coming back to Erik's mind when he was least expecting them – Like when he was lying in bed at night trying to fall asleep. A task that would then be abandoned as Erik thought, and thought, trying to figure out what Charles meant. He would be just as clueless when the sun rose though.
By the end of the week, it was driving him absolutely mental. So much so, that Erik had complained to Azazel about it during one of the rare times when the red mutant actually made use of the room that was also his.
"It's infuriating," he said, pacing around the room as he spoke, "I can't even figure out what brought it on – Though I know it started after that wretched Valentines day. But outside of that … And it's just – It's not Charles, and I don't have any idea about how to fix it because he refuses to talk about it!"
Azazel suddenly snapped his book shut, and Erik jumped a little at the sound. In the middle of his ranting, he'd almost forgotten he was actually talking to a person. The other mutant took a deep breath before he fixed Erik with a glare that rivalled one of Erik's on a bad day, which was really saying something.
"You are quite possibly the densest person that I have ever met Lensherr. Even a toddler couldn't be as clueless as you when it comes to understanding people and their reactions," Erik opened his mouth to protest, but silenced himself at the look that Azazel gave him. The red-skinned mutant leaned forward in his chair a little as he spoke, his tone soft but firm, "So, allow me to enlighten you on a little something - Charles is jealous," the hell demon stated.
"Pardon?" Erik asked, his eyebrow arching with scepticism.
"You heard me. He's jealous – And if you'd pay attention, it wouldn't be difficult to figure out why," Azazel fixed Erik with one last glare before, very pointedly, opening his book again.
Erik perched himself on the bed with a frown on his face. Charles was … Jealous? The very idea was laughable and begged the question, what over?
Cocking his head as he thought, Erik understood that something must have happened on that nightmare of a day earlier in the week, it had been since then that Charles had been irritable after all. He'd been fine at breakfast though – Erik could only too well remember the mirth with which he'd laughed at Erik's frustration. And he'd been alright at lunch, though he had spent much of it berating Erik for tripping up that Sandy-Haired guy who's name Erik had made a point to forget.
The only other time Erik had seen Charles that day was after that incident with the guy in his mathematics class. And he had seemed annoyed before Erik had even stepped out of that classroom, which meant that the only conclusion that Erik could see was that something had happened between lunch and then. Something that had upset Charles enough he'd been withdrawn and moody for the past few days.
When he took the day into account, Erik supposed that meant, in all likelihood – Erik's heart stalled a little at the realisation – Charles did in fact have someone that he cared for and something had happened with that person. It was possible that Charles had walked in on them being confessed to, or maybe Charles had professed his feelings for them and been shot down?
With a groan, Erik ran a hand through his hair. Fan-fucking-tastic. Now, not only did he want to kill some unknown person for numerous reasons, he also felt like shit at the realisation that Charles hadn't even wanted to speak to him about this. He wasn't sure if he should be feeling affronted, or relieved at that.
As he thought about it though, Charles' cryptic words made more sense if he considered this revelation – But how could Erik possibly know about Charles' feelings towards another if he'd never mentioned them before? Charles was the telepath among them, not Erik.
"Come to an understanding have you?" Azazel asked.
"You could say that," Erik muttered, trying to ignore the feeling of lead settling in his stomach. Now wasn't the time to be feeling sorry for himself. Now that he realised what Charles' problem was, Erik needed to be the friend Charles thought him to be, and if that meant being there while Charles told him all about this unknown person that held his heart – Erik swallowed the lump in his throat – then that was what Erik would be. Even if it killed him a little bit inside.
So, it was with reluctance that Erik focused on the ring that Charles wore, and followed the feel of it to one of the lesser used sections of the large library that Oxford offered. There, he found Charles looking out a window, his arms folded across his stomach and his fingers tapping a rhythm against his elbow, a move that suggested at his underlying tension.
Erik didn't say anything as he leant up against the wall beside the window Charles was gazing out of. From the way that Charles' eyes flicked over towards him, and the way that Charles' presence in Erik's mind fluttered, he knew that Charles was aware the fact that he was there.
And, frankly speaking, Erik had no idea what he was meant to say in situations like this. He'd never needed to assert the fact that Charles could talk to him before – Normally, it wasn't a problem. Usually, Charles would prattle on regardless of whether Erik wanted to listen or not – So, Erik was at a complete loss about what he was supposed to say to get Charles to start talking about this particular thing, and he didn't even know whether Charles wanted to talk. Frowning as he waited, Erik had to wonder, if things were starting to get confusing in his own head, how was he meant to voice them?
In the end, it was Charles who broke the silence. "Forgive me, my friend, I haven't been the best of company of late, have I?" he sighed, a rueful smile on his face as he turned that little bit to look over at Erik.
Erik simply shrugged, still unsure about what he should say – How did he go about trying to convince Charles that it was okay for him to talk about what was troubling him? That Erik wouldn't think any less of him for it?
The concern was momentarily driven from his mind as Charles smiled though, and the sadness behind that smile made Erik want to find the asshole who was putting Charles through this torture and beat him senseless. Charles turned back towards the window and was silent for another few moments, before he heaved another sigh and shook his head.
With a smile plastered on his face that Erik could tell was fake, he said in an equally fake-nonchalant voice, "I'm sorry Erik, but I'm feeling rather exhausted so I'm just going to go back to bed for a while. I'll stop by later tonight, alright?"
Erik wasn't entirely sure what came over him, but as Charles started to walk away, looking for all the world as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, the metal-bender's hand shot out and grasped his wrist of its own accord, tugging the smaller man to halt. Charles, naturally enough, looked over at Erik with confusion in his eyes, and, maybe it was just Erik's imagination, but he also seemed a little afraid.
Before Erik knew it, the words he'd been searching for began to tumble from his lips. "Charles, I know that I'm not the most sympathetic of people, and I know that we disagree on a lot of things, but that doesn't mean you can't talk to me about the things that trouble you. Even if I don't like it, and even if it pisses me off, I'll still listen, no matter what it is - I love you too much to be able to stand seeing you like this anymore. So, please, tell me what's bothering you – If only so I can find the asshole responsible and hurt them in ways you couldn't imagine."
Erik was too busy looking at Charles earnestly to realise the words he'd just said, he was much too busy thinking about the different ways he was going to punish whoever dared to upset Charles this much, and in some part of his mind, he was realising that this was probably how Moira had felt earlier in the year.
It was only when Charles' mouth popped open into a small 'o' of surprise, when those expressive blue eyes widened and a blush spread across Charles' cheeks that Erik thought to wonder what it was that he'd said.
"Say that again?" Charles requested, a little breathlessly as he took a step towards Erik, and Erik frowned as he thought back through he'd just said.
"Er – I'll maim whoever has hurt you?"
Charles smiled with amusement, and if Erik hadn't been so relieved to see Charles smiling properly again, he might be worried about the influence he'd had on the younger man.
"Before that."
"Oh, well – Um. … You can talk to me about anything?" Erik's eyebrow arched with confusion. Confusion that simply increased as Charles chuckled softly and took another step towards Erik, standing close enough now that the toes of their shoes were brushing.
"Not that either. The part in between," and Charles' voice was still a little breathless, which would have concerned Erik if it weren't for the fact that Charles was genuinely smiling as he looked up at the older man, his blue eyes positively sparkling in the afternoon sun.
It took Erik a few seconds before he realised what Charles was talking about, and when he did, he blushed a little bit. He hadn't even realised that had slipped in there.
"I love you," he said softly, and Charles' grin widened into an absolutely blinding smile, which contradicted Erik's expectations of being told 'I'm sorry my friend, I can't return your feelings' so thoroughly, he was momentarily thrown.
Erik only had a second to wonder about the vastly different reaction, before Charles had taken hold of Erik's face between his palms, levered himself up onto his tip toes and placed a soft, lingering kiss to still mystified man's lips.
"What took you so long?" Charles breathed, still so close that Erik could feel his breath against his mouth, and the question was what finally broke him out of his stupor.
Erik practically growled as he pulled Charles' hips flush against his own – something that earned him a startled squeak - before claiming those red lips and thoroughly kissing the other man, one hand coming up to thread in those chocolate locks as Charles' arms wound tightly around his neck.
"Fucking hell Charles. You should have said something," Erik hissed between feverish kisses.
"I could say the same to you," Charles retorted before pushing up against Erik with enough force that the two of them were driven into the wall behind. Neither one particularly cared though as Charles' arms shifted so that he could tangle his hands in Erik's hair, while Erik's hands slid down that little bit lower to gain a better hold.
"Erik. Room. Now," Charles ground out, only to suck on Erik's lower lip provocatively, and it took all of Erik's willpower to not moan at the feel - at the suggestion that had just fallen from Charles' kiss-swollen mouth as he looked up at Erik from beneath his lashes.
As it was, he was sure they looked a sight as they fled the library, neither of them caring enough that they'd run with their hands twined. After months upon months of craving the man that was running along with him, his mouth an overjoyed smile as he did so, the last thing Erik could care about was what the other students thought as they watched the two men bolt past.
*sigh* I had so much fun writing this Chapter, I really did. So - I hope that you guys also enjoyed it, and that the abundance of fluff was worth the wait!
For anyone who might be wondering, you needn't worry - I'm not going to leave it there. There is one more Chapter after this, and a little something extra if I can bully my brain into actually working.