"So how was your first day back?" Alice asked, as we walked behind the mob the encircled Edward, asking him more about his daring actions that night and other things I couldn't quite get.

I strained to hear their conversation but it was no use, they were too far ahead and I was never going to get close enough to overhear with Alice's turtle slow pace or without being obvious.

"Jasssper." Alice sang, trying to get my attention back.

"Wh-What?" I replied turning back to her.

She simply smile, grabbed my arm so that we were side to side, before whispering in my ear; "It kills you, doesn't it?"

I gave her a crazy look, not grasping what she was referring to, seeing my confusion she elaborated.

"That you can't be near him right now, it kills you. You don't have to say it. I can see it in your eyes, the way you keep looking in front of us eagerly, as if searching for a lost love and the way you have been completely ignoring me, which is quite annoying I must add."

"Whatever Alice, say want you want. It doesn't bug me. Edward should have friends. I think… I think it's great." I found myself struggling to say, as I forced a grin before speeding up my pace leaving Alice behind.

I didn't have to look back to know Alice was giving me that certain look, that "oh, come on, I'm not buying it," look. I could feel it, and when I closed my eyes, the imaged burned into the back of my head. I groaned frustrated and annoyed and picked up my pace upset, quickly passing the mob and Edward.

I swear I even heard Edward call out for me but I couldn't wait. I was too upset. I wasn't even sure what I was upset about or who I was upset with. It was ridiculous.

However, I couldn't stop, I couldn't face Edward. I wouldn't be able to hold my silence and I would have surely gone off on him and scared him away.

I always did have a hot temper and what's worst I bottled those emotions up until I exploded, which was really unhealthy.

That's why I started playing soccer, to release all those angered feelings I got. It was a great way to release any tension I had as well as for keeping fit and healthy.

I found out about my angered ways when I first realized I was gay. When I started to like guys and one guy in particular who was a childhood friend. I got really upset at him for making me feel this way and almost felt like I blamed him for making me gay. I would pick stupid fights with him for no reason other than out of my own frustration and self-doubt and being scared.

I felt so bad afterwards and would toss things around in my room or break down crying at night. I still remember the day I yelled at him so violently and told him I never wanted to be his friend again. He looked so stun and kept asking why and what he did wrong.

I couldn't tell him, it was me and not him, that I secretly liked him. I just yelled at him to leave and as his eyes started to water. I regretted it. It was like a dagger to the heart. I wanted to take it back but the damage was done and that was the last time I ever heard from him. A week later I found out he changed schools.

It was the worst experience of my life. I still regret it till this day.

Luckily, I found soccer and was able to let out my emotions in a more healthy matter.

I made it to my house in record time, running up my stair puffing all the way, half from anger and the other half from exhaustion.

I quickly changed out of my jeans into some Capri pants and grabbing my soccer ball heading to the back yard.

I kicked the ball into my practice net, time and time again. Each stroke more violently hard than the last until I was completely winded, slightly dizzy, sweating up a storm and my face was flush with color.

I took off my now soaked top tossing it on the porch table, and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge.

It was minute later I heard the door bell ringing. I was in no mood for company at the moment. I peeked out the side window to see Edward standing there with his backpack in tow and no Alice. He must have walked after me.

The fact that he actually left his group of new friends for me and even his own ride home excited a part of me.

Another part of me was still pissed though. The part that knew Edward would ignore me more and more now that he has his own group of friends, now that he was accepted at school, he won't need me anymore. Not the way he used to.

It was all a part of the plan, help Edward fit in and now that I succeeded, where does that leave us?

He clearly wasn't ready for more than a friendship, he said so.

It was my own fault I fell for my friend in the past and drove him away, just like I was falling for Edward and over time I was sure I would do the same to him.

I knew what I was capable of doing I had the emotional scars to prove it. I was a ticking time bomb and poor Edward was in the crossfires and he didn't even know it.

I quickly yanked the door open. Edward looked my appearance over stunned and what looked to be lustful.

"I just want to…" Edward started to say, as I pulled him in and roughly pressed his back against the wall.

"...make sure you were okay?" He finished in a whisper, taken back by my quick rough actions.

"Do us both a favor, and don't fucking talk right now." I warned, panting my hot breath in his face.

Before Edward could register anything, I pressed my lips firmly to his in a harsh kiss.

I broke away from his mouth rather quickly and a gasp escaped his lips, as if I took all his breath with me.

I leaned forward again, pressing my lips tightly against his mouth, trying to prevent me from saying anything I might later regret.

It took Edward a few minutes before he started to kiss me back. I had a steady rhythm going on, a hard press of my lips then part, taking a pause between each kiss, every time opening my mouth a bit more and lessing the pressure on Edward's lips.

By the end of my relentless kissing torture, my tongue was in Edward's mouth, violently thrashing around, making my claim on him, Edward moaning and gripping the ends of my hair pretty tightly. Our pants were both pretty snug as well and rubbing up against each other.

We had to stop before we killed each other out of heated passion. I pulled away from Edward gasping for air and he did the same, I could see his chest raising and falling under his shirt, his eyes showed lust, confusion and maybe even a little fear.

I slowly backed away from Edward feeling somewhat ashamed of my actions.

He tried to move towards me in a thought to comfort me but I wasn't ready for that yet. I was still upset.

"Edward go home, please. Before I say something I can't take back." I begged, keeping my distance from him.

He slowly nodded his head and picked his backpack back up that he lost in the passionate kiss making, before heading out the front door.

Note: What do you think? ;)