The Faerie Chronicles of Kenshin & Kaoru: The Princess and the Assassin, a Rurouni Kenshin fanfic by Raberba girl
Chapter 6 - "Do you know where your heart is hidden?"
Enishi woke up tense and restless, but was soothed when he realized that he lay with his head in someone's lap, a warm hand resting on his hair. Whatever had been wrong, it seemed to be all right now.
Voices echoed above him. "...I'm afraid for him. He can't stay here long."
"I would...be glad to take him back, but are you all right?"
"I don't care."
"What kind of an answer is that?!"
"Kenshin, of course I'm not all right, but it doesn't matter - I will recover, thanks to you. Enishi isn't safe here."
"Tomoe...any deeper, and the wound would have killed you regardless. You are...mortal now, after all."
"Yes. Then it is fortunate your soldier didn't think it necessary to strike hard."
"He wasn't my soldier."
"I told you, it doesn't matter."
How come her voice came from far away, and his seemed to echo all around? Enishi frowned and opened his eyes, disoriented, wondering at the anger that was building up in him like rising sand.
He saw someone's knee just before his face, visible through torn and bloodied fabric. At the sight of the blood, Enishi winced; the throbbing in his own head finally caught up to him, and he felt the aches in his body. He'd been fighting. Why...?
Tomoe. She was here - it was her voice he heard, had known he was hearing all along. But...it was not her who held him.
Enishi shot upright, then groaned and dropped his face into his hands. "Hurts," he mumbled.
"You shouldn't move so quickly," the man's voice told him. "You were injured."
Enishi focused bleary eyes on the speaker. Red hair. Huge ugly birthmark. Hard blue eyes. "You!" Enishi gasped. Then, in a roar of rage, "YOU!"
"Stop, Enishi," his sister said quickly. He looked around wildly for her; she lay on the bed next to them, on her front, her face turned to look at them.
"Neesan!"
She was just barely able to calm him down enough to tell him what he had to know - why she couldn't leave with him. He wept when he learned that his sister was bound into the queen's service. "I'll kill them! I'll kill them all!"
"Enishi...perhaps the queen will permit you to remain with the Seelie." ...with me.
Battousai was already shaking his head, thinking of the Unseelie prince falling into Titania's power as well, but there was no need to speak. Enishi had recoiled as if the suggestion had been to cut out his own tongue. "Are you crazy?! No! NO way! I'd rather burn that palace to the ground! In fact, I will!"
"Yes, and then die for sure," Battousai said firmly. "No, Enishi - once you step off our lands, you cannot return. You would not survive such a thing."
Enishi whipped towards him, remembering again why he had come in the first place. He cried out and would have flown at Battousai's throat, had Tomoe not quickly cast a sleeping spell over him.
"It seems a little rough," Battousai said unhappily as the unconscious boy fell back into his lap.
"There's no choice," Tomoe said grimly. "He is so upset, there is no reasoning with him. I am no longer in a position to help him; only my father now has a hope of doing so...if he cares to." She lifted her eyes once again to Battousai's. "Take care of him," she said softly.
"He will come to no harm in my charge." Battousai rose, carrying the boy on his back. He stood looking down at her for a long time. "I will not leave you, Tomoe," he suddenly said, his voice firm.
She looked at him without speaking, for she did not know how to voice the apprehension in her heart. Finally, she reached up to him, and he leaned down to kiss her. She allowed his lips to touch hers, but then she pulled away, just a little. "I fear for you," she whispered.
"I love you," he responded. His eyes pleaded with hers, but she closed them. He finally stepped back, watching her, then sighed and turned to leave. It was years before Tomoe saw her younger brother again.
The next time Battousai was able to steal away from his master, he found himself obliged to fight his way through the Seelie guards and pass by the terrified expressions of the court women.
"Kenshin," Titania said icily when he finally reached the throne room. "You dare to do battle against the Faerie Queen?"
"Who said anything about that?" he said indignantly. "Can't a man visit his own home without having to break down the doors?"
There was a moment of confusion, as the frightened fae eyed him and whispered to each other behind their hands.
"As if you expect me to believe you are here amicably," Titania finally said. "What do you want, Kenshin? Revenge? Apologies? You will find none here." As she spoke, she studied him surreptitiously, but to her puzzlement, saw no sign of the spell she had sent to him the night before, except perhaps a heaviness around the eyes.
"Neither of those are sought or expected," he answered. "I simply seek an audience with your newest handmaid." His tone made it clear that, despite this phrasing, it was certainly no mere request.
"Denied," Titania said anyway. "Go away, Kenshin."
Battousai paused. Then he bowed. "All right." When he left, the fae seemed to breathe a sigh of relief - until they realized that Tomoe was gone as well.
Titania stopped those who would have flown frantically after them. "No. No warriors, no assassins - you, and you." She pointed to two of the hovering fairies. "Spy on them, and report to me. We must be prepared for whatever he is planning."
Unfortunately for the little fairies, Battousai was apparently planning nothing. He gave Tomoe some flowers, and they talked for a time about many things - the fairies recalled stuff about sunsets and kenjutsu practice and Titania's last party and something about a guy named Kamatari not being a shape-shifter after all.
"And then what?" Titania demanded. "What then?"
"Nothing! He hugged her and went away."
Tomoe got into trouble for 'fraternizing with the enemy,' but she said nothing of it to Battousai at his next visit. Titania, however, had plenty to say.
"How dare you keep coming here?! You are no longer welcome!"
"As I recall, Your Majesty," he said with cold politeness, "it is not I who made myself unwelcome." His eyes flashed as he looked at her. "You care nothing for Tomoe. You've won. You've won. Why begrudge me what little I have left?"
Titania stared at him, not knowing quite what to make of this. "Kenshin," she finally said, "have you been sleeping well?"
"No," he said shortly, "not at all."
Her fingers tightened on the arms of her throne. So the spells were working. Why wasn't he reacting accordingly? "Poor boy. Perhaps," she said testingly, "it's something you're eating, or too many troubles on the mind-"
"I am not ignorant of fey torments," he said wearily. "No need to dance around it, Grandmother. If you wish to withdraw your spells, I would be grateful; if not, your anger will run its course in time. Either way, they will not stop me from seeing Tomoe, if that is your intention."
Titania gaped at him. So he knew. She would have expected that, only, how could he know, and yet show no sign of resentment? "Fine." Titania raised her head imperiously. "You may visit the girl if you wish; she is lost to you. But I will not allow you to speak to her out of my presence."
"Tiresome. But as you will." The acquiescence surprised her. His eyes were dull, and even darker than before from lack of sleep, though because of the spell that had saved Tomoe, he still seemed more beautiful than ever.
There was a long, awkward pause. Then Tomoe silently rose and glided out of the room; Battousai drifted after her like her shadow. Titania, refusing to follow after them like a dog, simply translocated, so that she was waiting for them in the gardens. Neither of them looked at her as they settled down together on the grass.
"I brought you something." His voice was spiritless, but a tenderness had come into it as he opened a little basket of human food.
Tomoe took the onigiri he handed her and bit into it curiously. "It's good," she said. It was not often that she tasted unglamoured food. For a few minutes, they ate in silence.
Titania watched them incredulously. Were their conversations always this boring? Or were they just being careful in her presence? She noticed that Battousai had stopped chewing, and that his back had gone rigid. Tomoe eyed him knowingly, but said nothing. Finally, Battousai let out a deep sigh and turned around. "Would you like one?" he offered tonelessly, holding out a rice ball to the queen.
She reached out with her magic, and sensed no poison, no spell. Apparently just plain mortal food. Even so, there was no telling, after what she had done to him; it would not be safe to accept...and yet, she would have died rather than seem as if she was afraid. "Why would I have interest in such stuff?" she scoffed, snatching the thing out of his hand. "Disgusting," she commented as she bit into it.
It made her uneasy that Battousai was watching her like that. His grave look finally softened with a ghostly little smile. "Is it? That would explain why you ate the whole thing." He turned back to Tomoe.
Titania stared at him, hard-pressed to keep her jaw from dropping. What was...what was he doing? Why was he trying to act like he wanted things to go back to the way they were before? Was he just lulling her before he took vengeance?
"Have you been all right, Tomoe?"
"I have been well."
It was a lie, Titania knew. Perhaps the first lie Tomoe had ever been able to tell in her life, but with the lack of expression in her face, it seemed to come to her naturally.
"Mm. Good."
"You don't look very happy to hear that."
"...Because I don't believe you."
So he knew it was a lie. Titania looked at them looking at each other.
"I am well," Tomoe said softly. "Please." When Battousai showed no sign of accepting this, she raised her hand and gently touched the little red marks on his neck, as if left behind by tiny, cruelly pinching fingers. She knew there must be many more over the rest of his body. "You are well, also, are you not?" she pointed out.
"Yes," he said softly.
"Stop this!" Titania finally exploded. They looked over at her as if they had been expecting it, as if she was a child throwing a tantrum and they were prepared to wait it out. It enraged her all the more. "You make me sick! I've put both of you through hell these past few nights, and here you are, blatantly pretending like everything's FINE!"
They took their time answering. It was horrible to watch, as if each of them knew the thoughts of the other, like they were still attuned to each other's thinking. "Would you rather we sulked?" Tomoe said lightly. "Plotted revenge, went out to vent our feelings with slaughter?"
"At least it would be normal!"
"But useless," Battousai pointed out.
Titania wanted to strangle them. "How can you be like this? How can you act like nothing happened, that you're not angry, that you're simply a little depressed? You're-!" You're scaring me.
"You think we are not angry?" A spark had finally lit in Battousai's eyes, and Titania's heart rose within her. Perhaps he would lose control now, would attack her, so that she could kill him and end the matter. But he did not move - he simply sat there, next to Tomoe, their hands lying side-by-side in the grass, almost touching.
"We are very angry, Your Majesty," Tomoe said quietly. "You have struck us with a wound too deep for words."
They fell silent.
"So...what?" Titania said bitterly. "A wound too deep for words...you speak it then with flowers? With rice balls? Faugh!"
Battousai picked a blade of grass, twirled it idly in his fingers. "I see now. You are..." It would not be wise to recognize that she was afraid. "You think I come here to seek revenge." He shook his head. "Rest your heart on that matter, Grandmother."
"Oh." Her voice was calm again now, mocking. "So you're perfectly content to just make these little visits, and let me go, and pretend like it never happened."
"It happened," Battousai said, his own voice now bitter. "It most certainly happened."
"What's wrong, Your Majesty?" Tomoe asked knowingly. "Are you hoping that Kenshin will raise arms against you, so you can get rid of him?" She stopped herself just in time from adding, 'So you can wipe out your failure and pretend it never existed?'
"So what if I am?" Titania pouted. "He's of no use to me anymore, obviously." Even as she spoke, she looked at him hopefully for a sign that this was false, that he might come to her now that he had no lover - but the look on his face was absolute.
"That is not a very encouraging thing to hear," was all he said. "How long am I to be looking over my shoulder in your court, Grandmother?"
"As long as I have to look over mine," she answered at once.
He gave her a pitying look. "Grandmother. You need fear no vengeance from me."
"Of course," she said sarcastically.
He shook his head. "Not only would it be folly to try to harm a fae such as you, Grandmother, but...even if you were dead, Tomoe would still be lost to me. I will not let rage grow like a canker in my heart...look what it has done to Enishi." Battousai and Tomoe shared an understanding look, but Titania's mind was racing as she caught onto something else.
"I see. Haha. Oh, I see it now. You're a fool, Kenshin."
He shook his head.
"No, really!" Titania laughed. "You always were a strange one - but clever, I see it now. Revenge would be profitless for you; your goal is something else - you think you can break the spell over her!"
The two of them regarded her, saying nothing.
Titania scoffed. "You'll never find her heart. You never will, do you hear me? None of my maids has ever found her heart; what I have hidden, it is impossible to find. Don't hold out vain hope, Kenshin." Still they were silent. "Well?! What do you have to say to that?!"
"Nothing," he answered truthfully. He did not agree with her. He refused to argue with her.
"Fool," Titania spat. She rose to her feet. "Fine. Come talk to Tomoe all you want, I don't care. No more night-torments, no more punishments. Continue dreaming your silly hopes, it makes no difference to me." She took a few steps, then paused. "Kenshin," she said softly. She faced away from them, so they could not see the brightness of her eyes. "I have...never known anyone like you." She vanished before she could listen for a response.
o.o.o.o.o
Not long after that, during the court's next banquet, a merry elf whom no one recognized charmed the whole court and captured the queen's fancy. It was not until he was actually perched on the arm of Titania's throne, kissing her, that at last she sensed the strength and nature of his magic. "You!" she shrieked in surprised disgust.
Oberon grinned, allowing his disguise to melt away. "It's been a while, eh, Ti?" She tried to rise, but he slipped down into her throne and maneuvered her into his lap. When she saw that struggling would only lead to an undignified display, she seized his head and kissed him fiercely; he returned the kiss with equal fervor, and when they parted, both were smiling through bloodied lips.
"Why are you here, kitten?" she purred, her eyes smoky with fury.
"I'd like to have a little talk with my own daughter, if you don't mind," he returned easily. Only then did his eyes turn to Tomoe, who was sitting quietly among her fellow handmaids.
Oberon released the queen, who preened herself like a disgruntled bird, but his eyes were only for his daughter, whom he approached with greater solemnity than usual. "Tomoe."
She bowed her head in greeting. "Father."
He took her shoulder with one hand and reached to tilt up her face with the other. He studied her for a long time. "Tomoe...are you happy here?"
"I am no less happy here than I was among the Unseelie, Father," she replied tranquilly.
There was a pause. Then he suddenly laughed and wrapped her in a bear hug, though there were tears in his eyes. "Such a gloomy, beautiful woman, who so loves the light! Had I not watched you enter this world with my own eyes, I would think you were no kin of mine! Oh, Tomoe..."
"I'll be all right," she whispered into his shoulder.
"What about this red-haired prince of yours?" he asked idly, though his eyes burned as he held her. "He still around?"
"He looks after me in this place," she told him, pulling back so that she could look into his eyes. "Father - I trust him."
He expelled an irritated breath. "Fine. Then I suppose I'll let him live, though I'd like to believe you're lying."
"Have I ever twisted the truth?" she said quietly, and he grinned.
"No. You never were fit to be Unseelie...perhaps that's why I love you so." He placed a kiss on her forehead, the last one she was ever to receive from him. Then, with a merry wave at the queen, he strode out of the hall and vanished.
The years were slow and lonely as they passed. Tomoe refused to wear the hakubaikô blossoms in her hair, though the other handmaids insisted that it was more "fun" that way - the flowery scents dulled the mind, sent the memories far away, covered over the pain and grief with laughter and light-heartedness.
Tomoe, however, preferred to live with a clear mind than to escape into illusion. Perhaps it was her Unseelie blood that made such a life bearable, or perhaps, as Battousai told her wryly, "It's simply because you are...you." Whatever the reason, she consented only to wear a ring as a token of her bond to the Faerie Queen. Though its scent marked her as a handmaid, it left her thoughts free. Those thoughts, as time passed, were not all dark ones, either. As she had previously observed, there was much beauty in the Seelie lands.
Battousai tried to stay with her - any spare time he had was spent in the Seelie court, sparring with the queen and playing with the handmaids as usual, his presence a comfort to Tomoe despite the enchantment that separated them. He had sworn to find her heart and release her from her contract, but the Faerie Queen had been playing her games for hundreds of years.
"I finally dared to do it."
Tomoe's eyes widened. "You...used her secret name?" She instantly crushed the hope that had risen in her heart, especially when she saw him shake his head.
"She only laughed."
Tomoe was quiet. "I see."
He frowned, his eyes far away. "She said...that it no longer existed in this world or any other."
Tomoe shook her head. "If that was true, I would be dead."
"That is what I told her - she only laughed again, and she said..." His eyes were anguished. "She said that only I would be able to release your heart, Tomoe. It has passed beyond her reach. What could she mean?"
She placed a gentle hand over his lips. "Hush. She is telling the truth, but she is telling it only to torment you."
"Why?" he said wildly. "Do you know? Do you know where your heart is hidden?"
Tomoe shook her head. "I know her. So do you, if you stopped to think. It's all a game to her, a riddle. And if that is true, then...Kenshin, she couldn't stand it if she lost, but...she loves you still. After everything, no matter how she may deny it. She would also be disappointed if you lose." Tomoe shook her head again. "She will never be happy."
His face grew determined. "But you can be. I won't give up."
Tomoe knew from the beginning that he had no chance of finding what he sought, and it hurt her to see the hope dimming in his eyes with each passing month. "Battousai," she finally told him, "enough. Let it be."
"No," he had said angrily. "I will free you, Tomoe. I prom-"
She laid her hand over his mouth. "No promises," she said softly. "Do not swear an oath you will not be able to keep."
"I can't stand to see you like this! You might as well be back in your father's court - you are as bound as ever, there is sorrow in your eyes... Having to watch you endure this, when I meant so much more for you-" He stopped speaking when she rested her head against his shoulder.
"Please do not desire what you cannot have," she murmured. "It is true that my future with you is lost. Yet I am not...entirely as I was." She looked up and smiled. "You brought me into a new world, Kenshin. At last there is light in my life...it may not be as bright as the sun, but I am content with the moon."
He gave her that stubborn look of his, and she was suddenly afraid.
"Kenshin...I don't think - you should come here so often."
"What?" he said, his voice low and dangerous.
It was not her way to smile, but her gaze was steady as she looked at him. "Kenshin, your hardships have been different from mine...you have dealt with them differently. Please, believe me when I say that I am all right. It hurts to watch you...you pace your cage like a lion, Kenshin. Your spirit is strong and bright, but you are as bound as I...please, don't take on even more burdens for my sake."
"You are asking me," he said tightly, "to let you go."
She paused. Then she said quietly, "As your lover...yes. That path is lost to us, Kenshin."
"Do you really think," he said bitterly, "we can go back to being simply friends, Tomoe? After all this?"
She sighed. "Can't we at least try?"
"I love you," he said softly.
"As do I," she returned sadly. "So please...go."
They stood there looking at each other for a very long time. Then he bowed his head, and he turned, and he walked slowly away.
As he crossed back to the mortal world, Tomoe drew in a deep breath, then let it out in a long sigh. She touched her face, where a single tear had fallen down her cheek. Then she returned to her queen, breathing in the scent of hakubaikô.
To be concluded...
Author's Notes: I got the term "translocate" from Diana Wynne Jones.