YAYZORS! IT'S TIME FOR CHAPTER 34! WHOOP WHOOP! WHOOP WHOOP! Disclaimers, Itachi, my good chap.
Itachi: Hn.
Just do them. I'll get you a ton of pocky if you do.
Itachi: Can't...resist...pocky...must...have...
I'll give you the pocky once you do the disclaimers.
Itachi: Jinso does not own Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, or any characters affiliated with them. He does own my brother, his two best friends, Cryptus, the stranger, Evil Tobi, Apple-chan, Disclaimer-san, the elves, and Illyon. Oh, and HGOPAMLB.
See, that wasn't so bad. *gives pocky*
Itachi: Thank you. *walks off to see if he won a ticket to PockyLand*
Enjoy this chapter!
Rule 28: It's nice to get an upgrade. But not always if it makes Hidan do a wolf whistle.
Normal POV
Aaron came out of his room after a good five hours with an emotionless face.
"I figured out a name." He announced. Everyone peeked their heads out to see what he had chosen.
"I chose the name Karasubi (Ka'ra-su-bee)." He told them.
"'Raven Beauty'?" Pein asked.
"It kinda does fit," Rich mused.
"Doesn't it, Deidara?" He asked jokingly, jabbing Deidara's ribs lightly with his elbow. (He was referring to the latest end author's note) Deidara blushed profusely and refused to make eye contact.
"Well, seeing as how I have raven hair, and I'm hot, I'd say that fits to a tee." Aaron explained, still showing no emotion where most would have smirked. Pein shrugged.
"So if I'm a girl now, does that mean I have to buy different clothes?" Aaron asked. Konan and May thought.
"I think you do." May told him. Aaron's eyes widened in fear.
"No! NOT SHOPPING!" He said, trying to hide behind Rich.
"SHOPPING, THE ONLY ACTIVITY I TRULY FEAR..." Aaron continued in a scared voice. Then he stood up, and pointed a finger up in the air.
"TO THE PANIC ROOM!" He zoomed down the hallway, leaving a very confused Akatsuki and a cloud of dust behind him. Konan and May went into "Seriousness" mode.
"NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, YOU'LL HAVE TO GO SHOPPING AT SOME POINT!" May shouted, her and Konan running down the hallway after him. They could hear faint cries of "Lemme go!" and "NEVER!" Finally, they saw May and Konan dragging a squirming Aaron behind them.
"I DON'T WANT TO!" He yelled like a five year old throwing a tantrum.
"Unless you want these pervs to keep staring at you and imagining they're screwing you, I suggest you come!" Konan said with a grunt. Aaron stopped squirming.
"AW HELL NO!" He shouted, running out the door at the thought of that.
"Well that was...eventful...(a quote from Eddsworld)" Pein said.
"So what should we do while they're gone?" Rich asked.
"Let's see...we got beer...and TV..." Deidara thought. Hidan grew a devious grin and said only one word:
"Porn."
With Konan, May, and Aaron
"So what are we getting?" He asked. They were walking into some kind of girl's clothing store in the land of hot water. All around the store had everything from graphic tees to fancy clothing.
"First we're going to get you some regular clothing." May told him.
They walked over to a random section and began looking at clothing. They found a shirt that said "I'm a chick and I'm proud of it", but Aaron didn't want that. So they kept looking. Then they found a tee that said "If you got problems, don't complain to me. I'm not your wife." Aaron actually wanted that, so they put it in a basket they had been carrying. Then they got him a few pairs of jeans, some long pants, some other miscellaneous clothes, and a skirt. He was never going to wear that...that beastly thing. Hidan, Kisame, and Deidara would probably go full-on perv if he ever wore it. The trio paid for the clothing and walked out of the store. Aaron got excited like a child when he saw one of those stores that printed whatever you want on a tee. So he ran into the store with May and Konan following close behind.
"We could get a tee for everyone." He told them. May shrugged. It was fine with her. They got a black t-shirt with a nuclear explosion on the back and the text "ART IS A BANG!" on the front in red for Deidara. A blue t-shirt that said "Fish are friends, not food." on the front and had a picture of a shark hugging a goldfish on the back was for Kisame. A black one with the words "You're next for my collection" on the front in red made to look like blood with a picture of a creepy marionette on the back was going to Sasori. A silver one with black text that said "You are a heathen; get used to it." and on the back a picture of the Jashinist symbol was Hidan's. The next one was going to Itachi, and it was black with two red Sharingan eyes on the back, and only two words were on the front "Tsukiyomi, bitch." Then came Kakuzu's. It was green with black dollar signs all over the back and on the front said "Step away from the money." in black text. Tobi's was orange with black swirl designs all over it and said "TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" on the front with a picture of a lollipop on the back. Konan got a blue one with white text that read "Origami rocks!" on the front and had an origami crane on the back. Zetsu got a green one that had a picture of meat on the back and on the front in red was "OMNOMNOM!" Rich got one that said "Got a problem? Get a life." which was blonde yellow and the text was green. On the back of his was the words "BLAH BLAH BLAH..." in graphic text. May got one that was lavender with blue text that read "I may seem timid, but I can KICK YOUR ASS."" And on the back was a picture of a stick figure girl punching someone. Pein got an orange shirt that said "Gingers do have souls." and had a picture of a ginger kid on the back. Finally, Aaron got a green tee with white text that said "Pain heals, chicks dig scars, but glory lasts forever." and had a picture of a trophies and awards on the back. They paid for all the shirts and headed back to the base. When they got inside, they saw all the guys watching some kind of porn on the giant TV.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" Konan shouted. They stopped the porno with a startle and looked back, seeing their deaths in the near future.
"Um..." Pein kept stammering.
"I can expect Kisame, Deidara, and Hidan to do this, and maybe even Sasori, but YOU, PEIN? AND YOU, ITACHI?" She yelled. The guys then scrambled for their lives. The only guys who weren't there were Tobi, who was probably in his Madara persona, plotting something, Kakuzu, who was definitely counting his money, and Zetsu, who had been in his greenhouse. Konan handed Aaron his clothes and told him to change to see how it looked. He sighed, but went into a bathroom. When Hidan had tried to follow him in, the elf whacked him upside the head with his frying pan. Then when Hidan said, and I quote "You should be fuckin' learnin' how to make me some food with that thing, bitch, not fucking whackin' me with it", Aaron kicked him in the balls repeatedly until he was sure Hidan could never have children for making such a sexist remark. Then he went inside and got changed. While he was doing that, Hidan put his ear next to the door to see if he could hear anything. After a few minutes, the door was pushed open, slamming Hidan against the wall. The Jashinist was cross-eyed and had little stars floating around his head when he fell to the ground. Aaron just walked into the living room and asked,
"So how do I look?" Everyone turned their heads, and almost immediately, the guys started drooling. Aaron was wearing a black sleeveless kimono-style blouse, almost exactly like Tsunade's, which had white feathers depicted on it, a snow white obi holding it together, and wore a pair of grey shorts along with high-heeled open toed shinobi sandals.
"Hummina-hummina-hummina-hummina..." Pein kept stammering. Aaron grinned.
"I take that as a 'good'." Aaron said with a laugh. Hidan made a wolf whistle. Instantly, Aaron scowled at the Jashinist, and then K.O'd him with his frying pan of doom, laughing like crazy. Then he became serious. Serious Aaron is serious.
"I'll have to go to Konoha and tell Tsunade about this." He told them. Pein nodded.
"Go whenever you feel." He said. Aaron then got on a cloak with a hood to mask his face. With a wave, he disappeared in a flash of light.
Konoha
Tsunade was sitting at her desk, fuming over all the paperwork she was being given. All of a sudden, a cloaked stranger appeared in the middle of the room in a bright flash.
"Who are you?" She shouted.
"Your questions will be answered if you do something for me." The figure simply said.
"Why should I? You could be an enemy." Tsunade said with a glare.
"I am no enemy. I have been in this village for some time, and am also a shinobi of it." She said, gesturing to the hitai-ate around her neck. Tsunade looked surprised.
"What is your name?" She asked the mysterious person.
"My name is Karasubi, but you know me as someone else."
"I've never seen you before in my life." Tsunade informed her.
"Oh, but you have. The other people who have seen me many time before are Mitarashi Anko, Uchiha Sasuke, and
Himawari Arine." The woman said.
"How do you know who they are?" Tsunade demanded.
"You must bring them here."
"How do I know you won't try to kill me?"
"If you still think I will try to harm you, I will sit right where I am with a chakra suppression seal on me, if it makes you feel any better." The woman told her with a sigh. Tsunade calmed at the idea of that, so she ordered three ANBU into the room. One of them slapped a chakra suppression seal right on the cabalistic woman's forehead when she sat on the floor. Then Tsunade ordered the ANBU to go get Sasuke, Anko, and Arine. Within a few minutes, the three came rushing into the room along with the ANBU.
"Who're they?" Anko asked, jerking a thumb at the hooded figure sitting on the floor. Tsunade held up a finger, saying "One moment" as an ANBU took the seal off. The woman stood up, and bowed to each of them. They bowed back in a confused way.
"She said her name is Karasubi, but we know her by a different name." Tsunade told them. The three were still confused.
"She?" Sasuke asked. The woman pulled her hood back to reveal a flawless looking face. She had mid-length long black hair, and the same eyes as Aaron.
"Yes, she." Tsunade said after rolling her eyes.
"I've never seen her before in my life." Anko said. Arine and Sasuke agreed to that statement.
"We have actually met many times before." The woman told them. They just looked confused yet again.
"Then h-how come we don't know who you are?" Arine asked?
"You do know me, but I've never appeared to you like this before." She said. Before anyone could question what she meant, a shadowy blob burst in through the ceiling.
"Illyon!" It hissed.
"I shall destroy you for killing my master!"
"Aaron's not here, dumbass!" Anko said angrily. The woman just stepped in front of them.
"Hey, what'd'ya think you're doing?" Anko asked.
"I can take it on easily." She told them.
"You must be nuts! That thing could kill you in a heartbeat." The woman smirked.
"Oh, trust me, it can't." She said. Then she held her right hand out. Fire spread all over it, turning it into a fervid claw that lit up the room.
"Aaron?" Anko asked. The woman simply disappeared in a streak of light, which moved towards the creature. Then it stopped right behind it. The blob suddenly froze up, and then literally fell to pieces. The woman went back to the four with a grin.
"You know who I am now?" She asked.
"Aaron, is that really you?" Anko asked. The woman's expression turned grim.
"I'm afraid so."
BUM BUM BUM! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! I AM SO EVIL! Itachi, do you think I should let Deidara out of Tobi's room?
Itachi: Hn.
That's a yes. *zooms to Tobi's room* Come on, Deidara, your playdate's over.
Deidara: *scowls as he walks out covered in bruises and torn clothing* I hate you.
No, you WUV me.
Deidara: I don't WUV you. I want to blow you up.
Are you sure you don't wuv me?
Deidara: YES! I HATE YOU!
*starts crying*
Konan: *is walking by* Bastard. You made him cry.
Deidara: I'm sorry!
*runs away*
Konan: You know you're gonna owe him something, right?
Deidara: *sigh* Yes. *turns to readers* We hope you like what has come out so far, and will continue to read this fanfic. Bye. *turns to Konan* Can you help me think of what to get him?
Konan: You're on your own. *walks off*
Deidara: DAMMIT!
Until next time,
Ja Ne! *disappears in a flash of light* BADASS!
Also, the word fervid means fiery, blazing, burning, etc.
SEE YA!