AN: Hey everyone. I apologize that I didn't have this up any sooner. I was actually planning on having it up a few days after the previous. But my stupid writer's block has acted up again, and I've been trying to write the lyrics to a song I'm gonna use in the story. You're gonna see four lines in this chapter (I know they're cheesy, but please be nice. I'm not a songwriter, you know). Anyways, so, we were at the point where Andre had just woken up, and remembers what had happened that got him landed in the hospital. Let's continue, shall we? This chapter is another monologue from Tori's POV, and takes place the following morning.

Oh, by the way, I recently checked on the Victorious Wiki, and the next episode is airing in late September. And as far as I'm concerned, it can't get here soon enough! It's been way too long, don't you think? Let's all watch the remaining ones, to show that the show is still popular. Anything that might convince Nick a little bit that the show is worth keeping. Anyways, without further ado, let's get on with the story.

Disclaimer: If Victorious was mine, wouldn't I be a screenwriter instead of a fanfic writer?

What Should I Do?

Tori's POV:

My eyes slowly opened. Outside, through my partially-closed curtains, I could see that the sky as cloudy, but fairly bright. Soft morning light found its way through the curtains into my room. It was a new day – a new day I wasn't looking forward to, which was majorly ironic, since it was Friday. And who didn't love Friday?

I turned my head and glanced at my clock: 6:58 a.m. Two minutes before I had to get up. I had always hated waking up right before my alarm clock forced me to. It was just terribly unpleasant – that feeling that you have knowing that there's no point in trying to get back to sleep.

I sat up, and turned off my alarm. Waking up two minutes early was the least of my worries today. This wasn't just any day, oh no. Today was the day Andre would get released from the hospital, and I wasn't sure I was ready to go see him yet. In fact, I was so, so nervous, I was surprised I could sleep at all last night, let alone sleep well. And even being awake and all, I still wasn't sure what I was gonna say or do when I saw Andre, or whether or not I should even say or do anything.

Now, I know I should be practically jumping for joy. After all, Andre had survived a tough beating, and was in good condition. But no matter what, I couldn't, and don't think I would ever, let go of the fact that I was one of his abusers. Me. Tori Vega. His best friend, and the girl who loves him. Or, should I say, his ex-best friend, and the girl who still loves him. Sure, Andre hadn't said anything about us being uncool anymore, but come on, I would be mad if it were me in that situation. And sure, my encounter with him wasn't too bad yesterday (he just refused to look at me, Beck, or Cat directly, and barely said anything to us), but having been best friends with him for a while, I could tell that he was just trying not to make a scene. And he succeeded. How much better or worse he'll do today was the question though, and whether or not he'll even want to be acquaintances with me, let alone date me was another.

I sighed, as I walked to the bathroom and did my usual morning routine of brushing my teeth, and washing my face and hair. I skipped the make-up, not being in the mood and all. It wasn't like Andre would be at school to notice anyways. In fact, I put on my make-up mainly for Andre, to try to get his attention and possibly make him fall for me. But as of today, I would probably never have to again. Never after this day would I have a reason to make myself look attractive and presentable to boys at school, unless I wanted to possibly date Beck, if he were to break up with Jade, or Robbie. But they were just some close friends. Well, at least Robbie was, assuming he didn't hate me after that day, being my other victim and all. For all I know, he was acting like we were cool. And as for Beck, besides the fact that Jade would kill me if I ended up with him and that I didn't like him that way at all, I wasn't even sure what he was now after what had happened, following him and his plans of getting "revenge" on Andre over nothing. I sighed over the thought again, and guilt and sadness washed over me for the millionth time. I was sure that I could never let this memory go, regardless of how well I fix things with Andre. This was one of those things I could and would hate myself forever over.

Stepping out of the bathroom, I caught sight of movement right by the front door. Turning my head, I could see Trina, dressed and ready, as she began to leave. Trina was leaving for school – without me? And it was only – 7:30? Oh god, had I really been lost in my thoughts for that long this morning?

"Trina, wait-" I started, before seeing wires hanging out from her ears. So she was listening to music. No point in trying to chase after her or call out to her. Besides, I still had to get dressed, have breakfast, and pack.

I sighed, after I scrambled to finish my 5-minute breakfast – a breakfast that consisted of nothing but milk and cereal. After quickly packing, and dressing, I slumped down onto the couch. It was not 7:45, and I was without a ride. What now?

Normally, I would just call Andre. But of course, for various reasons, including how he probably wouldn't care about me at the moment, that was not an option. I was pretty sure Beck would pick me up, but I didn't feel like spending time with him – not until I figured out what he was to me. Plus, I was pretty sure Jade was with him this morning, and it was safe to say she hadn't yet forgiven me for what happened. The last thing I wanted on a day like this was to arrive at school with scissor cuts all over my skin. So I called Robbie, the only other person who could give me a ride, possibly. Who knows if he'll want to offer me one after he was the other victim of that day?

With shaking fingers, I touched his name in my contact list. He greeted me warmly as always.

"Good morning, Tori!"

"H-Hey, Robbie." I stuttered. "I-I was just wondering, c-could you give me a ride to school? Please? Trina ditched me."

"Surely. I'm just about to pass by your house now. Get ready." I breathed a sigh of relief as I hung up, and started to get ready. At least someone besides Beck and Cat didn't hate me.

Robbie was someone who I could always depend on to be on time. He showed up in front of my house only two minutes later. Walking out to meet him, he smiled at me warmly, as I opened the door and climbed into the passenger-side seat of his old car. I looked around, and was surprised Cat wasn't with him. After all, she couldn't drive herself, and, well, since her and Robbie just started dating, I thought for sure she'd be here.

"Cat's getting a ride from Beck," Robbie said, as if sensing my unasked question. "She wanted to talk about some weekend plans with Jade that they've had for some time now."

I nodded, as I looked at him, trying to muster up a smile, to show him my gratitude. Not acting either – my genuine gratitude. Ever since two days ago, when Robbie had gotten hurt with Andre, I had since started to feel bad about all the times I labeled him as an unpopular nerd. We all did – even Jade. After all, that was no way to treat a friend who was always there for every one of us. But today, I just couldn't muster up anything convincing.

Robbie seemed to notice, as he looked at me with concern. "Tori, are you feeling okay?" he asked me.

I nodded. "Just a little nervous about this afternoon. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say or do."

Robbie seemed to understand. "It'll be fine. After all, things went better than any of us thought yesterday. Like I said, Andre loves you. I'm sure that once you two get past the initial awkwardness, things will end well. Besides, all of us have known for some time now that you two are meant to be more than just best friends. Even me." I managed to give him a reassuring smile, and we started moving afterwards. I didn't know when Robbie had become so knowledgeable about this, but I couldn't help but think he was right. Maybe Andre and I were meant for each other. Maybe things will end well. Maybe…

Oh, who was I kidding? Andre hated me, and I don't think I could fix that so easily. And even if Robbie was right about us being together, I'll bet all the money in the world I ruined it. Ignorant little me, who didn't deserve someone like Andre. Not even as a friend.

Leaning back into the seat, I closed my eyes. Though I wasn't sleepy by any means, I just had to think. What am I gonna do about this? Is there any way out at all?

"Tori, wake up. We're here."

I felt someone shake me gently, as I slowly opened my eyes. Looking into Robbie's eyes, I dimly realized what must have happened – I fell asleep after closing my eyes. So, maybe I was more tired than I had anticipated.

Sitting up, and getting out, I closed the door behind me. When I turned around, I was once again, faced by Robbie's concerned stare.

"Are you sure you're okay, Tori? You don't seem like yourself."

Once again, I nodded. I really didn't want one of my victims from two days ago to pity me, and worry about me. "I'm fine, Robbie. But thanks. For everything. Anyways, see you around."

I gave him a little kiss on his cheek, before I slowly walked into the school (a friendly kiss, of course. Nothing more.). Arriving at my locker, I dropped some stuff off, before closing it and walking away with my backpack, containing the things I did need in it. I walked right past the class I had first this morning – Mr. Gradstein's scriptwriting class - and made my way to the theatre, where I would hopefully be alone. It wasn't like me, or any one of our group of six (or maybe, about to be five) to skip class – we were all good students. But today, I really didn't feel like thinking or hearing about the hard assignment Mr. Gradstein would assign us this weekend; I would hear about that soon enough. Plus, Beck was there, and I still didn't want to talk to him. We would make up and be friends again at some point, but not now. Right now, I wanted nothing more than to sit and think in peace. Think about how I would sort things out.

Opening the door, I saw that the theatre was indeed, empty. I walked in and took a seat on the piano bench, right in front of the piano. I wasn't sure why I had chosen this spot out of all the others; I had simply wanted very much to sit in front of the 88-keyed instrument. Maybe it had to do with the fact that it reminded me of Andre – of how talented he was at it. Of all the wonderful times we've had together, him playing his keyboard, and us singing together. Those wonderful moments may be nothing but memories now. Ever since Wednesday, when everything went downhill…

I allowed the thoughts to come flooding into my mind again, and flood my mind they did. They weren't all about my dilemma though; a lot of them were going back to that day. Thoughts such as these dominated my mind: Why had I thought of Andre that way? What went through my mind that day? And if he hates me now, if he doesn't want to talk to me again, I understand. But no matter what, I would love him, right to the end. If only I could focus on how to resolve my problems and restore things back to normal, instead of those thoughts. If only I could quiet them down…

Suddenly, as if light bulb went off in my head, those previous thoughts led me to a possible solution to my dilemma – I would write Andre a song, and sing it to him personally. He would love it! Because if there was one thing Andre and I loved equally, it was music. And so what if I sucked at lyrics? Those thoughts that I had just a second ago – they would make great lyrics! Well, great for my level anyways. Either way, I decided to give it a try. Playing some chords Andre taught me on the piano, I tried to put those thoughts in lyric form, and sang them out to myself:

I'm sorry, I ever thought of you that way,

Don't know what went through my head that day.

And though if you hate me, I understand,

But know that I'll love you, right to the end.

I stopped, and took a moment to take it in. It may not have been as good as Andre's work, but to me, I've never written better sounding lyrics. I could use that stanza as the chorus. So I took out a pencil and paper, and scribbled them on roughly. Now for the hard part: the rest of the song.

"Finally, I'm done!" I said out loud to myself, as I threw my pencil down and folded the paper containing my lyrics up, stuffing it in my pocket. After three hours deep in thought, I finally managed to jot down a whole song. Was it the best? Definitely not. Andre's songs beat this one by a long shot. But was it good? I thought so, even if I said so myself. Besides, this was my first time. What could anyone possibly expect? Who said I was a songwriter or poet to begin with?

I finished packing my stuff up just as the bell rang, signaling lunch. I sighed, as I dragged myself to the table the six of us usually sat at in the Asphalt Café. Well, at least, it used to be the six of us. Was it anymore?

For some reason, I just couldn't get that thought – the six or five of us one – out of my mind. No matter what I thought, it would always eventually lead back to that thought. The thought about whether Andre would be willing to be part of our group any longer. I didn't want to think about it though, because then I would have to think about why I was thinking about it. Because of what happened two days ago that I felt was my fault. I could have stopped it, but didn't. Andre will no longer want to be part of our group, and it was my fault. Now, if I could make it up to him, starting by expressing myself through this song, then great; it would be like a miracle. But what do I do about the things I've permanently changed, like his view of me? He'll always have the memory of what happened two days ago with him now. What do I do about that? And, what if he doesn't accept my apology? What then?

"Hey Tori, where've you been?" A familiar voice called out.

I looked up. Somehow, without even noticing it, I've made my way to my friends all having lunch. I sighed, looking the four of them over. That was another thought that had bothered me all morning – that Andre wasn't here. What if something else bad happens to him? Like, what if Kyra escaped, and is there after him again?

"Blackbox theatre. Needed time alone," I answered half-heartedly.

Beck shot me a questioning glance. "Were you trying to avoid me, Tori?"

"Why do you care?" Jade remarked snidely, from right beside him.

"Um, because she's my friend?" Beck suggested.

"I-no Beck, I-I was thinking about Andre." Though I still didn't know what Beck was to me right now, I had decided during the past three hours that treating him like an enemy wasn't gonna make things any better.

My last statement earned me sympathetic looks from the four sitting at the table. I took a moment to look them over: Beck and Jade had made up, and their relationship was still going strong, if not stronger. Jade had returned to being herself at school, as she started to make snide remarks again. Cat and Robbie were holding hands, and pretty much cuddling with each other right there. This arrangement felt like pure intimidation – I was the only one here who was still single, and not with my love! More than ever, I hoped that my song would do the trick, and Andre would forgive me. We truly did belong together, in my opinion. I would treat him with love and respect he deserves, not anything like two days ago.

"Tori, I don't think you need to be so worried about this," Beck stated. "Andre's gonna forgive you. You know that."

I looked at him. "No, I don't. I mean, I found a way to get the apology message to him, but I'm not so sure it'll work." No matter what I thought, I was still unconfident.

"What way?" Robbie asked me, interest twinkling in his eyes. I couldn't help but smile a little watching him. If there was one thing that was good out of this dilemma, it was that it had driven some of us closer. I now noticed things about Robbie that made me smile, like they were special, like how I already have with Andre. It wasn't only between me and Robbie though - this incident also brought Cat and Robbie much closer, Beck and Jade also seemed a little closer, Beck and Robbie seemed to be better friends, and even Robbie and Jade are close with each other now. Almost everyone is closer with everyone else. Almost. Me and Andre – further.

"I wrote him a song. That's also what I've been doing this morning." I answered.

"You wrote him a song?" Robbie asked, even more interested. "He's gonna love that."

I smiled a sad smile. "I'm not so sure about that. You know that I'm terrible at writing songs."

"Tori, he's gonna love that you made the effort," Beck said to me. "You should probably know that by now. Besides, who said your song isn't good?"

I looked at him, incredulous. "Have any of my previous attempts been any good?" I countered.

"Well, that doesn't mean this one's gonna be bad. How about you tell us the lyrics, and we'll be your judges?" Beck suggested, earning nods of agreement from everyone. "Honest judges."

Reluctantly, I pulled out that piece of paper I had earlier, and unfolded it, putting it on the table where all of them could read it. All the while, I looked around, my eyes wandering about aimlessly. I was still trying to take my mind off of the current situation. I would probably be like this for the rest of today – mind unrest, thoughts overtaking me and making me feel really guilty.

"That was…amazing, Tori." Robbie spoke up, followed by nods, smiles, and words of agreement from everyone else – even Jade.

"Oh come on, guys, stop being so nice," I said to them. Deep inside though, I was excited. People actually liked my work? Even if they were friends, they actually liked it for once?

"No, it really is amazing," Cat said. "Sing it to him!" That too, earned nods, smiles, and words of agreement.

"Okay, okay, if you insist." I picked up the piece of paper, folded it back up, and tucked it in my pocket. Then for once today, I felt just a tiny bit relaxed. Relaxed enough to eat my lunch.

But somewhere in my head, I knew that it wouldn't last long, for the time for me to take the stage in front of Andre was ticking closer and closer. And before long, the butterflies and feelings of sadness and confusion returned, and thoughts once again flooded my mind, leaving me to dread later this evening.

AN: Angsty enough? Some of you requested angst, as I recalled, so I tried my best to do some. Okay, so I know this chapter isn't my best work either, but like I said, my writer's block is a b!tch. Anyways, the next chapter will be better, I promise. Until then, review please! And don't make fun of my song lyrics. :)