I felt sick. My stomach was in knots and I couldn't breathe. I felt like the walls were closing in on me, I needed air.
It was just a glance at first, an innocent glance in laughter. Then his eyes locked on mine and he got a strange look on his face, as if he thought I looked familiar but couldn't quite place me and then it clicked and his eyes widen and we just stared at each other across the room for a bit. I wasn't sure if it was out of shock, fear or something else.
"Hey, do you want to get a drink?" Edward asked breaking me from my thoughts, from our stare.
"Umm, you go ahead, I'm just going to go out back for a bit."
"You okay?" Edward asked sensing my mood change.
"Yeah, I just need some air. I'll be back."
"How about I get us drinks and meet you out back?" Edward suggested.
"Yeah, sure; Sounds like a plan."
I made my way outside, breathing in the fresh night air, passing the partygoers, heading over to a lone bench by a garden.
I couldn't believe HE was here. My old friend who I cared some much for and who had left school and even the neighborhood because I pushed him away. I never thought I would see him again.
"Jasper, is that you?" A familiar voice asked.
I looked up to see him standing in front of me with a hesitant smile. Clearly not knowing where we stood anymore, much like myself.
"Hey Shane, it's been a long time."
He let out a force chuckle taking a seat next to me but careful not to sit too close, Wary of my reaction.
"Yeah, it has been a long time. I got to be honest Jasper. I still think back to that day and I still can't come up with a good reason why we ended our friendship, I can't figure out what happen to us. Can you?" He asked me point blank.
I gulped nervous and looked away, trying to word what I wanted to say.
"It's hard to explain." I replied, forcing myself to look him in his eyes that just showed a lot of hurt and confusion.
"Try, please. I want to know, no, I NEED to know Jasper, for my sanity. You don't know how many times I played that scene over in my head, the way you treated me towards the end. I deserve an explanation as to why my best friend went against me, don't you think?"
I could feel the emotion getting to me; feel the hurt and betrayal he was giving off. It was almost too much. My guilt for what I did back then, it was overwhelming. I felt a urge to pull him in a hug and tell him it wasn't him, that it was me and that it was always me but I wasn't sure how to say it or show it without breaking down in front of him or freaking him out.
"Shane, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. You were my best friend; you were the last person I ever wanted to hurt. I was young, Immature and going through a lot of emotions at the time. I saw you as my friend but towards the end my feelings for you started to change and I didn't know how to deal with it and I took it out on you and I shouldn't have. I'm sorry, I really am." I confessed.
"What are you saying Jasper?" He asked carefully, watching my body language as I shifted uncomfortably and started to fidget with my hands.
"Shane, I'm gay."
His eyes widen and he moved back from me a bit, I wasn't sure if it was from shock or disgust.
"I started to like you, like really like you and I didn't know how to handle it so I started to blame you for making me feel this way and that's why I pushed you away. I never thought…"
I took a breath before I continued.
"I never thought you would leave or that I would see you again after you left."
"Do you know how hard it is to see you right now, after all these years? I thought I was over it, the hurt you caused but seeing you tonight, all those feelings of hurt came right back. I missed you Jasper, I missed my friend." Shane confessed.
"I missed you too." I said and without thinking leaned in and wrapped my arms around him in a tight hug.
He was limp at first but after a moment passed he hugged me back and that meant the world to me. Because at that moment I knew he forgave me.
When we pulled apart I saw Edward standing a few feet away, holding our drinks in his hands with a look on his face that could only be read as curious and jealous.
I could only imagine what Edward was thinking, seeing me hug a stranger in his eyes.
Shane killed the silence giving Edward a friendly smile and got up from the bench putting some room between me and him, seeing Edward's looks.
"Hey, I'm Shane, an old friend of Jasper's and you are?"
"I'm Edward, Jasper's other half."
I couldn't help but smile at his words. I jumped to my feet before I could stop myself and gave Edward a deep kiss. He was so shocked he dropped our drinks but I didn't care. I just kept my lips on his, enjoying the moment.
Edward was tense at first considering where we were and that Shane was standing just a few feet away from us but after he stopping thinking and started to feel, he relaxed in the kiss and wrapped his arms around me, keeping me close.