The Faerie Chronicles of Kenshin & Kaoru: The Sleeping Prince, a Rurouni Kenshin fanfic by Raberba girl
Chapter 13 - In which Himura Castle suffers a loss.
"Janet has tucked her green skirts
A little above her knee,
And she has braided her yellow hair
A little above her brow,
And she's gone to her father's house,
As fast as she can go."
Tam Lin
o.o.o
Hiko strode into the king's chambers, ignoring any and all ceremony as usual. He found Kenshin eating breakfast alone, staring morosely out the window. "Lacking for company?" he asked sarcastically.
"Yours certainly isn't welcome," Kenshin snapped, not altogether truthfully. The queen this morning was taking breakfast in her new (temporary, he hoped) quarters, though she at least was accompanied by her children and her friends. Compared to this, Kenshin found he preferred the Great Hall after all.
"My feelings exactly," Hiko went on. "Anyway, I came to say goodbye."
Kenshin had just scooped up a morsel of food, and now sat holding it for much too long, forgetting that it was supposed to be conveyed to his mouth. "You're leaving," he finally mumbled.
"I've got no reason to stick around," the magician pointed out. "I've completed my errand, and the air in this place is suddenly stifling." He shrugged. "Sayônara."
He turned to go, but paused when Kenshin called after him. "Shishô...what do you mean to do, when you find him?"
Hiko grinned. "Why would you care?"
"No killing," Kenshin said firmly. "This one will stop you himself if that is your intention."
Hiko rolled his eyes. "Ignoring the statement of pure idiocy that just issued from your mouth, do you honestly think that even I would murder the Faerie King at a time like this? He's a brat - and, incredibly, even stupider than you - but even so..." That grin was getting scarier by the moment. "...there are more effective ways of teaching punks like him a lesson." With that, he gave a mocking bow, then swirled his cape around himself and disappeared.
Kenshin sighed. He wasn't hungry anymore. He was also beginning to wonder if maybe he was wrong to be giving Kaoru space, trying to respect her feelings. Was he only succeeding in pushing her farther away?
He sat thinking tensely for a while. A formal apology, then. Probably in front of the others, too, since she had been refusing to grant him any private audiences. Legally, of course, he could override her, but calling on that power seemed rather counterproductive in this situation. Kenshin rubbed his hand over his face, then narrowed his eyes and rose from the table.
He had no sooner yanked open the outer door when he found Sanosuke, equally startled, standing just outside with his hand reaching for the knob. "Sano?"
The bodyguard grinned. "Great timing. Let's go."
"What is it, Sano? What happened?" Kenshin asked as they moved quickly down the hallways toward Kaoru's new rooms.
"No one's hurt or anything," Sanosuke assured him. "It's just that we're all sick of this."
Kenshin's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Sano..."
Sanosuke was spared from answering, because at that point, they rounded a corner and found Kaoru standing in the corridor with her lady-in-waiting and her other guards, looking annoyed. "...going on? Why did you bring me here?"
Megumi opened her mouth to answer, but her attention shifted before she could do so. Noticing that Megumi's gaze was focused over her shoulder, Kaoru turned and found Kenshin approaching. "What is going on here?" she demanded again.
Megumi gave a hard, humorless little smile. "Ken-Ô. Kaoru-Jooh. You've got at least a couple of hours, so feel free to take your time." She nodded at the men.
"What-?" Kaoru started, but Sôjirô was politely opening the door of a nearby closet that she had not even noticed, papered as it was to match the surrounding walls; and Kenshin was closing his eyes with grim humor as he suddenly understood, making no resistance as Sanosuke seized him by the shoulder and shoved him inside. By the time Kaoru realized what was happening and mustered up an appropriately outraged screech, she had been pushed in after him, the door had been shut, and something very heavy-sounding was being dragged in front of it.
"You wouldn't dare!" she gasped, and lunged to open the door. The handle turned obligingly enough, but no matter how hard she shoved, the door wouldn't budge. "Let me out!" she shouted angrily, pounding on the obstinate slab of wood. "Let me out right now! I'm your queen! I can do horrible things to you!" No answer. Gritting her teeth, she whirled and glared daggers into the black depths of the closet, where she could hear Kenshin's breathing in the confined space. The soft, regular sound startled her with its intimacy. "You put them up to it, didn't you! I can't believe you!" Shouting was good. Shouting filled the darkness and drowned out that breathing.
"This one certainly did not," he replied, slightly injured. Though it did work out to his advantage... It would be a fairly easy matter for him to break down the door, but he didn't want to, not yet. "Kaoru-dono," he said quietly, "it was this one's intention to apologize. To beg for forgiveness on hands and knees, if that's what it takes."
"Apologize," she spat. "You think you can just apologize for running a sword through my mother. For lying to me, abandoning me, for humiliating me! For attacking my son!" She felt the sudden heat in her face, because she knew, somewhere in a part of her mind she wanted to ignore, that whatever he had done in that strange place had brought Kenji back, had revived him. However, she was in no mood to even want to be reasonable. "You're a liar!" she screamed, to drown out her own thoughts. "I hate you!"
Then she waited to do battle, her fists clenched and her breaths like thunder in the silence.
His own line of thinking was different. "Kaoru-dono," he said in a low voice. "What else can this one do? How can amends be made?" When she didn't answer, too mired in her rage, "Please."
The desperate word worked through the defenses of fury in her heart to touch the wounds beneath. She couldn't stand it, that touch; to open her heart would be to expose those wounds to the light. "Shut up!" she screamed. "There's nothing!" Then, because she could tell without seeing that it hurt him, "Nothing!" She choked in a breath, and was more furious than ever to hear the sob in her throat as she did so. "No, I guess there is something," she hissed through gritted teeth. "You can go away. You can leave me alone. That's what you can do. That's what you've always wanted to do, right?"
No answer. The dark silence pressed in on her, grew louder and louder, until she finally gave in to the sobs crowding in her throat. She leaned back against the door and slid slowly down it to the floor, crying, pulling her knees up to her chest. She wanted so much to feel comforting arms around her, and at the same time she fiercely willed that unseen figure in the darkness to embrace her, so that she could have the satisfaction of pushing him away.
Minutes went by, and he neither touched her nor spoke. She finally gave up and let her tensely waiting body relax, and her weeping soften to something more genuine. "I wish," she whispered brokenly, "I could go home." The sobs burst out of her, renewed and desperate. "Oh, I want to go home!" she wailed. She wanted her papa...she wanted her mother- but her mother was long dead, killed at the hands of the murderer locked in this very same room. Kaoru suddenly screamed and lashed out at him. He caught her flailing limbs, and at his touch, she jerked her hands away and cradled them against her chest.
His voice, when it finally came out of the darkness, was at her same level - he must have lowered himself to the floor as well. The words were low and halting, as if spoken with difficulty. "You are not a - prisoner, here."
"What's that supposed to mean?" she said bitterly. "As if I could just walk out of here and never come back."
"Kaoru-dono, from the bottom of his heart, this one wishes you to stay. But if you...truly desire to leave, you will not be hindered." He said again, this time a little coldly, "You are not a prisoner here."
She stared, trying and failing to see his face in the darkness. There was only part of a foot, in the shaft of light from under the door, and the tip of a sheath. "You mean you..." She had to wet her lips and try again. "You mean you'd really...let me go?"
"Please stay," he whispered.
"Answer me!" she shouted.
There was a deep sigh. "If you truly wish to leave, you will not be stopped."
Kaoru put her hands over her face, overwhelmed. To leave this castle, where she had expected to live the rest of her life...to leave him. Could she? Did she really want to? A deep part of her was crying, that part of her heart was breaking. But nearer to the surface, still roiling with anger and betrayal, the idea was stirring a bitter excitement, a vicious gloating. Would he really let her leave?
"In three days, then," she said testingly. "I'll send a message to my father, give the rider a head start." She paused, and decided not to add, 'Give the girls time to say good-bye.' "It won't take that long to pack, that's for sure. I'm only taking what I brought with me." Which was to say, a single small chest of articles with sentimental value. She heard him move sharply, and showed her teeth in a not-smile. "I'm not taking anything that will remind me of this place...except the children, of course."
This last was a breathless, terrified challenge, for legally, the children belonged to him alone. It was one of the many archaic laws they had never gotten around to altering, because there had seemed to be so many more important matters to deal with first. When she felt him moving toward her, she scrambled to her feet in a panic, trying to push him away when she felt his body close to hers, crowding her against the door. His low, hard voice was right next to her ear, but all he said was, "You may take the children, but they will be sent for from time to time. Do you understand?"
Her already quickened breathing became harsh. From time to time. The phrase lent a frightening finality to this mad plan of hers. For a moment, terrified, she clung to him. But when she felt his arms coming up to hold her, she was seized with a rush of loathing, and she pushed him violently away. "Fine," she said coldly. "That sounds like a satisfactory arrangement." It wasn't, of course, far from it; but what else was there to do?
When the door finally opened, Kaoru was sitting in the sudden light with arms and legs crossed, staring straight ahead. Kenshin sat deceptively relaxed in the shadows against the back wall, face hidden.
"Well?" Megumi said expectantly. "Have you two worked things out yet?"
"Yes," Kaoru said calmly. She rose and moved imperiously back to her rooms.
Kenshin emerged, quietly as a shadow, and drifted away in the opposite direction.
"You know," Yahiko commented, "somehow I get the feeling that things didn't go like we planned."
o.o.o.o.o
"Kaoru," Megumi hissed, three days later, "you can't do this! This is bordering on divorce; do you realize what that would mean for both countries?"
"I don't care what the official explanation is," Kaoru said coldly, leaning against the side of the carriage as she waited. "An extended visit with my father, a chance for Kenji to know the other country he'll probably rule - as long as I never have to see him again, put whatever spin on it you want."
"Kaoru," Megumi said desperately, "is this really what you want? I can't believe this, I just can't. Having seen the two of you before all this started..."
"He sure doesn't seem to bothered," Kaoru said angrily. "Hasn't said a word to me since then, glaring all the time-"
"Kaoru," Megumi pointed out in disbelief, "he's miserable. Can't you see? You're killing him."
"Why don't you cheer him up, then?!" Kaoru suddenly burst out. "I've seen the way you look at him, ever since you've known him - well, guess what, Megumi, now you can have him! I'm sure he'll be delighted to find such an eager, beautiful replacement!"
Megumi would have slapped her, if she hadn't thought it beneath her dignity to grace this tantrum with such a reaction. "Is that it, then?" she said quietly. It hurt more than she thought it would. "All this time...all these years...you've been jealous of me? When you were the one he chose?"
Kaoru covered her face again, as if she could push the tears back into her eyes if she pressed hard enough. She was so preoccupied with this that she did not notice, as Megumi put her arms around her, that the older woman had tears in her eyes as well.
Across the courtyard near the entryway to the castle, Kenshin was spending a few precious last minutes with his daughters. He sat on the steps with Suzume curled in his lap, her thumb in her mouth, as Ayame stood on the landing eye to eye with him, looking a little wilted. "Please come, Daddy?" she said in a small voice, reaching out to grasp his sleeve. "What if Grandpa's scary?"
"He is a kind man," Kenshin assured her, reaching to curl his fingers around hers. Her hand was so small, almost swallowed up in his.
For a while, she seemed silently absorbed in stroking the calluses and little scars on his palm. "Please come," she whispered again.
"This one...can't," he whispered back.
"I'm glad I'll never have to be a king," she said dolefully. "They have to do so much work they can't go on vacations."
He closed his eyes. "Yes." The word felt like a lie in his mouth.
"But you'll still love me, Daddy?" Ayame finally asked anxiously. "If we're gone so long, you won't forget me?"
"Of course not," he said, nearly crying as he swept her into a tight hug with the arm that was not around Suzume.
Ayame clung to him for a while, then wriggled free when she remembered something she had seen her mother do once. She pulled at the ribbon in her hair - it got stuck, and he untangled it for her. Then she took a little tuft of his hair and tied the ribbon around it, the task slow and difficult for her little-girl hands. It took a long time, and he sat patiently, every ounce of his attention focused on her touch. Finally she managed it, a wad of silk knotted precariously around one of his bangs. "That's only a loan," she announced. "You have to make sure you give it back."
His smile was rather watery. "Of course." He reached up to hide his face. When he felt reasonably under control again, he cleared his throat and told her affectionately, "There is a gift for you, as well." He had asked Tomoe to enchant it for him. It had been close, but she had managed to prepare it in time. Doubtless Akira had not been pleased that her attention was so focused elsewhere so near their wedding day, but by this time, there was very little Tomoe would not have done for Kenshin.
At that, Suzume, who had been leaning sadly against him like a warm, slightly sticky bag of sand, suddenly came to life. "Gif," she said urgently, sitting up and twisting to look up at him. Her real plea was not lost on him - she wanted something from him, it didn't matter what; something to take with her and have in his stead while they were apart.
"You must share it," he told them, drawing it out. "All right?"
"Yes, Daddy," Ayame said eagerly, already reaching for the little object. It was a traveling mirror, about the size of Kenshin's palm, the cover decorated with etchings of flowers and, half-hidden in the design, a delicate little fairy. "It's a big-girl mirror!" Ayame said breathlessly. Her own were sturdy and difficult to break, obviously meant for children. This was a thing she would still be able to cherish as an adult.
"Wanna see!" Suzume insisted, snatching it out of her sister's hand. They would have scuffled, but he said quickly, "Ayame-chan, listen carefully. This is a magic mirror."
She paused, gazing up at him open-mouthed. "It is?"
"Yes. It will show you things when you ask. Look." He gently took the mirror from Suzume and spoke to it. "Please show us Prince Himura Kenji."
The mirror suddenly went dark, then cleared to show Kenji in the kitchens, staring wide-eyed at a basket one of the cooks was pushing into his arms. His voice could be heard, thin and clear, slightly altered by distance and enchantment. "I just wanted a couple of snacks to hide in my pockets! What am I gonna do with this thing?"
"You can share it with your sisters, the princesses," the woman suggested with a laugh.
"But I only-" He suddenly broke off, darting suspicious glances around the room. "Is someone watching us?"
"Enough," Kenshin told the mirror, as the girls burst into laughter. The glass darkened again, then cleared to show their own reflections.
"We can watch other people in it?" Ayame said in delight. "It really is magic!"
"Yes." He hesitated. "Ayame-chan, Suzume-chan...if you want to talk to this one, tell the mirror. This one will know that you are calling."
"We'll still be able to see you, even when we're gone?" Ayame said in relief.
"And this one will be able to see you. So," he grinned a little sheepishly, "please call often."
"I will, Daddy!"
"Mine," Suzume said stubbornly, clutching the mirror to her chest.
"Suzume, we have to share," Ayame chided her.
"Mine!"
"Let her have it for now, Ayame-chan. You can play with it later."
Kenshin held them until he sensed Kenji approaching. Then he reluctantly got to his feet, Suzume still in his arms.
"I'm ready," Kenji announced as he came down the steps, swinging the basket of food and oblivious to the greenish liquid dripping from one corner. He came to a halt when he saw his father waiting. "Dad," he acknowledged warily.
Kenshin nodded. "Son." They regarded each other for a moment. "You will be missed," Kenshin finally said.
Kenji shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah," he replied, his tone making it clear that this was to be no emotional farewell.
Kenshin sighed. "Take care of your mother, and your sisters."
Kenji nodded. Silence stretched between them again. The girls fidgeted. Kenji finally shrugged. "Well, bye." He suddenly flushed and looked away. "And I guess, thanks, for...whatever."
Kenshin suddenly crossed the steps between them and put his hand on his son's shoulder. "Kenji. This one is proud of you."
"For what?" Kenji snapped harshly. "I haven't done anything."
Regardless, it was true, and there might not be another chance to say the words again. Kenshin leaned close, the words firm. "This one," he said strongly, "is proud of you."
"Whatever," Kenji mumbled. He turned away, irritated at the tight sensation in his throat.
Kaoru noticed them descending the stairs, and came over to reclaim her daughters. Suzume immediately began fussing, clinging to Kenshin's clothes when Kaoru tried to lift her out of his arms; the girl's cries dissolved into tears when she lost her grip. She slumped against her mother, sobbing disconsolately, as Kaoru grabbed a bewildered Ayame's hand and started to walk away.
"Wait, Mommy!" Ayame suddenly cried.
"What, Ayame-chan?" Kaoru said hurriedly, not stopping.
Ayame frantically set her feet and tried to pull back. "Mommy, you forgot! You forgot Daddy's good-bye kiss!"
Kaoru came to a stop, feeling as if she had been punched in the gut. A tense silence settled over everyone.
"Aren't you going to say goodbye?" Ayame finally quavered.
Woodenly, Kaoru handed Suzume to Megumi, then turned and slowly made her way back to Kenshin, who waited in silence. She forced a smile onto her face, which seemed to reassure the girls only slightly.
The grip of her fingers on his shoulders hurt, but he did not care, he looked straight into her eyes until she closed them (to make this more bearable?). She pressed her lips to his so that he felt the words rather than heard them - I hate you. Then she was gone, walking away from him, helping his children into the coach, out of sight.
Sanosuke merely gave him a disgusted look before turning away to mount; Sôjirô gave a polite little nod. Yahiko paused long enough to say quietly, angrily, firmly, "We're coming back. All right? You'd better be ready." Then they were all moving away.
He watched until he couldn't see them anymore. Then he watched some more.
To be continued...