A/N: Dear Fanficers... if you are reading my story, which you probably are, please review, anything really, even if you didn't like it or didn't connect to it knowing why would help me a lot and I'd appriciate it very much!
I must collect my thought.
It is the first advice I would give to someone who's confused and it would be stupid not to follow my own advice.
The rest of the marauders always knew when I was in my thinking mood. They knew that at those times they just have to leave me alone. But now I desperately wish that they didn't. That they didn't leave me alone like this.
Everything is weird and not quite right.
Why is James dead?
The question seems unsolvable to me and so I put it in the back of my head, it being too painful to keep there.
How could Sirius, if it was indeed Sirius, do that?
This one is even more painful and seems even more unsolvable, at least at the moment, so I push it away too.
Why did Peter cut of his own finger? There are a few possible, though quite improbable, reasons. He might have cut it off so that his family could have it for keeping but I really don't think that that is the answer. For one thing, he hasn't been close to his family since fifth year and because if he would have time to cut it he probably would have had time to counter curse. But did he know the counter curse? Of course he did, I scold myself, he had a good memory and once he understood something it would stay in his mind. Dumbledore taught us many curses and counter-curses while training us for the order of phoenix. Also, it was possible that he accidently cut his finger off, his panic attacks were well known but again, he was taught, by Dumbledore himself, how to overcome those.
Why is Tonks so determined to show that Sirius is not guilty? I feel like slapping myself after that question appears in my head, but I know that there might be more reasons than I know. Maybe she was told to look for an answer, or if Sirius did do all those things he's been accused of, maybe he bewitched her to find out an answer, even if a wrong one, for his actions. At this point my hand almost does slap myself. I can hear James's voice in my ear – ' Oh c'mon Moony, those are the most idiotic things I have ever heard!' I flinch at the sincerity of it all.
Why is mad-eye acting weird and why does Dumbledore keep avoiding me.
I haven't been able to talk to him properly since the night of the Potters' death.
I don't know why these two questions come together. Maybe they are connected?
I need to talk to Dumbledore desperately, to get more information, and I need to do it quick because I know that if Sirius is indeed innocent his sanity might not be able to last in Azkaban much longer, and I'm not sure mine will either.
Azkaban. I must see him!