The bottle of vodka was empty and Derek was a horny drunk. Not that Stiles minded because he couldn't seem to stop laughing unless Derek was kissing him. Somewhere between sharing the bottle of whiskey, Derek drinking from Stiles' lips, they'd made it up the stairs and tumbled into bed. Stiles was on board with all of it. Derek ripping his clothes off, mumbling incoherently, biting hard enough to draw blood, even the initial pain when he didn't prep enough. Being drunk sort of killed his patience. By sort of he meant eviscerated. Being buzzed possibly drunk was okay. The sex was amazing. Until he was stuck straddling Derek, sticky and sore. He wasn't getting it, buzzed as he was, and tried to climb off again. Only problem was Derek was solidly knotted inside him.
"Derek," he mumbled, "Derek need to de-wolf." Derek hummed softly, eyes closed. "Derek," Stiles tried again, louder.
"Smell so good like this," Derek was saying, "smell you so well. Love how you smell. Favorite smell…ever. Wish everything smelled like you all the time." Stiles was laughing again, giggling when he realized he really shouldn't be laughing.
"You need to wolf down," Stiles gasped, eyes burning with tears, "human up or something. I'm stuck you dork." He shifted, groaning at the resulting twinge of pain. Leaning forward as carefully as possible Stiles pulled Derek's face towards him. "Derek," he repeated loudly, "I'm stuck!" Derek's eyes slit open just barely, glowing.
"Good," he exhaled.

The next second he was pulling Stiles closer and rolling so they shared the mattress equally.
"Derek," Stiles groaned in protest, eyes closing in sudden exhaustion anyways. "I'm sticky. I'm sticky and stuck," he giggled again unwillingly. "This is your fault."
"Shup I'm drunk," Derek told him, fingers falling against his lips and pressing them closed. Stiles bit at his claws before trying to settle into the pillow. Derek smiled and snapped his teeth in response. Another laugh bubbled at Stiles' lips but he refused to let it out, swallowing instead. "Should be stuck to me more often," Derek said, shifting closer to Stiles' throat.
"Inconvien…it's incon…hm. It's bad. Sort of."
"Don't care," Derek sighed.
"You don't care about anything you're drunk," Stiles said after several moments. Derek hummed softly.
"Yeah," he added just as Stiles was drifting away, "this was a good idea."

The first thing out of Stiles' mouth in the morning was a groan. Derek was blurry when he opened his eyes and he had to blink several times.
"Please tell me you're hungover."
"You are?" Derek returned, eyebrows drawing together. Stiles closed his eyes again, gritting his teeth.
"Stupid wolf. Go get me medicine." There was a beat of silence.
"Uh…I would love to Stiles but-"
"But?" Stiles groaned, glaring accusingly.
"I'm still," he looked down pointedly, lips twisting, "stuck." It took another moment for Stiles to be aware enough to panic.
"What!" He took in Derek again with wide eyes. "You can't be you're human," he protested. Derek rolled his eyes, still amused.
"Not knotted. Just stuck." Stiles was barely relieved.
"Well unstuck yourself."
"It's not going to feel good," Derek said hesitantly. Stiles groaned again.
"No more pain stay there."
"Uh." Oh he wasn't going to like this. "I have to pee." Stiles leveled another glare.
"You're the one who wouldn't get unstuck last night," he seethed, "this is your fault!"
"Maybe it would help if I just…" he drifted, averting his eyes. Stiles blanched as he caught on.
"Oh my god don't you dare I will run you over with your own car I swear to god Derek."

There were several seconds of silence.
"But logically…I mean-"
"You are not peeing in me Derek!" Stiles yelped the words, immediately clapping a hand over his mouth. Werewolf settlement. Fucking hell. He took several moments to collect himself. "What I mean," he continued lowly, "is carry me to the shower."
"Oh. That could work too."
"And yet your first instinct is to pee in me," Stiles hissed, wrapping his arms around Derek's neck and wincing.
"It was just an idea," Derek offered as he shifted closer to the edge of the bed. Stiles hissed in pain and bit his bottom lip. "You humans and your silly aversion to a little urine."
"Urine is gross Derek."
"It actually can be very useful."
"For perverts and serial killers?" Stiles yelped again as Derek stood, wrapping his legs around him quickly.
"Wouldn't you like to know all the things wolves do with it?" Stiles wrinkled his nose, clinging tighter while simultaneously trying to relax.
"Actually no I wouldn't." Derek chuckled.
"You should lighten up."
"I already know humans used to use it to brush teeth and wash clothes. I never need to know more. Ever."
"And why do you know that?" Derek chuckled. Stiles rested his cheek on Derek's shoulder, sighing.
"History class."
"Of course," Derek responded, one arm wrapping around Stiles to help keep him in place as he pushed the bathroom door open.

Fifteen minutes later Stiles was curled on the floor of the shower, half wishing for a bathtub and dangerously close to falling asleep again. Derek returned, spinning the knob and turning the water off before scooping Stiles up like a child. Stiles' head lolled against Derek's shoulder and he felt taken care of again. The pain seemed to recede a bit. "Breakfast," Derek breathed, laying him back in bed, "or massage?"
"Oh god," Stiles groaned, "massage please." Derek hummed softly, pressing a kiss to Stiles' naked shoulder before running his fingers down Stiles' arms. Stiles sighed and smiled. Words were pulling at his lips and he pressed them closed forcefully. It would be so bad to say it now. So bad. Because it was only temporary. It didn't really matter Stiles thought.
"How's your head?" Derek questioned.
"Mm, hurts," Stiles admitted, grabbing for him when he slipped from bed. "Hey," he protested, "that was not a massage."
"Getting you medicine you baby." Stiles nearly giggled to himself. Derek calling him baby was decidedly weird.
"'M only human," he muttered, curling his arm around a pillow. Derek didn't answer. Stiles pulled the pillow over his face as Derek went down the stairs, groaning into the fabric. Maybe he was in too much of a rush to worry about being quiet. Stiles didn't know if that made it better or worse. Derek was surprisingly gentle pulling him up and feeding him the pills before helping him drink an entire glass of water. Maybe Stiles shouldn't be surprised by Derek being gentle at this point but his touches were feather light. Even his expression was soft and patient. Stiles didn't have a name for this expression either. He frowned at Derek as he tried to think of one.
"We're not doing this again," Derek told him softly, lowering him back down slowly. If it would have been worth it Stiles would have opened his eyes and rolled them.
"It was awesome," he said instead.
"You thought it was worth it? Really?" Derek murmured, hands starting a slide down Stiles' torso. Stiles sighed again.
"Yep. Totally."
"You're-"
"Ridiculous I know." Derek kissed his shoulder again and it felt like an apology.

Stiles slept for two more hours and Derek let him, eventually bringing toast and jam upstairs. When jam smeared on the sheet Derek only rolled his eyes. "Sorry," Stiles allowed, smiling sheepishly.
"They're only sheets." Stiles couldn't do anything but agree.
"We haven't gone for a walk lately," Derek said as Stiles took another huge bite of toast. "Not that you'd be up to it today," he paused to swipe his thumb along the corner of Stiles' mouth, "but we should. Soon." He sucked the pad of his thumb into his mouth before letting his hand drop to the sheets.
"Yeah okay," Stiles agreed quietly. The request sounded a bit…off. As if Derek was already trying to prepare for him not being here, already trying to stockade memories. Stiles wondered after a moment if he shouldn't be doing the same. How long before he forgot Derek's smell? His voice? His face? He shifted closer unconsciously, skin buzzing with a craving that he'd never had before Derek. Derek's eyes tracked the movement. He didn't say anything. "Let's just spend the day in bed," he suggested after a moment. One of Derek's eyebrows lifted.
"Aren't we already doing that?" Stiles stuck out his tongue, a grin pulling at his lips as Derek moved the plate out of the way and slid close enough for their bodies to be aligned. One arm wrapped around Stiles' ribs and his chin rested on top of Stiles' head. Stiles ducked a bit and curled to fit, sighing in what was nearly contentment.
"Talk to me," he mumbled eventually. "Tell me your favorite memory."
"My favorite memory?" Derek questioned. Stiles nodded slightly. Derek was quiet a long moment. "When my baby brother was born I guess."
"What's his name?"
"Will. He's got big eyebrows like me." Stiles couldn't help a chuckle at the image of a baby with Derek's eyebrows, trying to take over its face. "My parents didn't really intend to have him," Derek continued softly. "He just sort of happened."
"How big is your family?" Derek shrugged.
"Big. My mom and my dad always wanted a house full of kids."
"Does it bother you to talk about it?"

He guessed he really should have thought of that earlier. How stupid of him not to realize that Derek's favorite memory would be tied to his family. Stiles cursed himself silently.
"It doesn't really matter if I talk about it or not," Derek exhaled. "It's still there." Stiles pressed a kiss to the side of his neck. "Your turn," Derek added, "favorite memory go."
"Mm, vacation with my parents. We went all the way to Myrtle Beach."
"Sounds nice."
"It was perfect." It was the last summer before his mom got sick, but Stiles doesn't mention that.
"Your shell," Derek murmured. The two little words make Stiles' heart ache and maybe he doesn't even have to say it.
"Yeah," he admitted, the word rough leaving his lips.
"I'm sorry you lost it." Stiles managed a hum of response, closing his eyes and pressing closer.
"I didn't take anything with me when I left." Stiles breathed in and out carefully, not daring to say a word. He was very much aware that this conversation was now an active minefield. "Thought it would make it easier," Derek added.
"Did it?" he risked when he felt like the silence had pressed on too long. Derek laughed once, hollowly.
"Don't know. Don't imagine anything would have made it easier."
"Yeah," Stiles agreed gently.
"Maybe it was. Knowing I really didn't have anything else to lose." Stiles was suddenly picturing Derek in an empty apartment with literally nothing but the clothes on his back. It broke his heart.
"I'm sorry," he breathed, wrapping his arms around Derek.

They moved to lighter topics and the afternoon passed with relative ease. Frozen pizza for dinner. Reading as the evening passed. Stiles watched Derek more than he read but he couldn't seem to help it. It felt wrong and right at the same time, just sitting together. He felt like they should be doing something else but what that was, he wasn't sure. He knew that spending time with Derek was what mattered. It wasn't so much what they were doing. But he can't help the feeling that they should be…more. Talking more. Touching more. Being together more. He didn't know how to do that. And it was unsettling. This want. This craving. Because he knew, he knew he wouldn't be around much longer. Barely three weeks now. Three weeks and he'd have to leave. He'd have to leave and then chances were he'd never see Derek again. Stiles tried not to think what if thoughts. There were always too many variables and open ended questions, always too many things he couldn't even quantify and so it was impossible. It was impossible to arrive at an answer when the problem started with what if. Questions like what if I graduate and come back were completely unfathomable. They made Stiles' chest pinch and it hurt to breathe. He could feel a panic attack lapping at his brain and he had to stop thinking it. Too many open ends. Unraveling threads. What if Derek met someone else? What if Derek moved to another pack? Went back to his family? What if something horrible happened? What if Derek died? What if Stiles died? What if his father never let him out of the house again? What if, what if, what if. There was no answer. And so for the next four days he and Derek drifted through in this disconcerting state where Stiles didn't know what to do. He wasn't sure if Derek was feeling it too or if it was all coming from him. Derek could feel him through the bond after all. Another open ended question he wasn't going to get an answer to. It wasn't like he could sit Derek down and ask him if he was feeling weird about the upcoming deadline. That wasn't exactly part of pretending.

But Stiles didn't want to think about that today. Not any of it. He was out of bed before Derek for once and wandered downstairs, eating a Pop Tart before grabbing bacon out of the fridge and heading back up. He dangled a strip of bacon over Derek's face, grimacing when Derek pushed up and grabbed it with his teeth.
"Still so disgusting," he winced. Derek smirked.
"And why are you feeding me this morning?"
"I was thinking we should go swimming." Derek sat up enough to grab another strip of bacon, twisting it loosely before eating it too.
"It's still May." I'm not going to be here when it's warmer. He didn't say it out loud, knew he didn't have to. Maybe it ought to be scary the way they were on the same wavelength all the time now.
"Well it's your personal mission to keep me warm. Do you accept?"
"I think I can handle that." Stiles smiled just a bit, internally thrilled.
"Good. Get dressed."
"You get dressed. I'm going to shower."
"You're showering before getting in a lake?"
"Yes because the earlier we go the colder it will be."
"Oh right. Maybe I'll shower too." Derek rolled his eyes quickly.
"Fine go. I'll eat my bacon."
"Blech," Stiles offered, grinning. Derek bit into another strip, letting it hang from his lips. "You can't make that look good."
"I'm not trying to," Derek told him, smirking around the bacon.
"Blech," Stiles repeated, scooting off the bed and heading for the bathroom.

Derek joined him in the shower before he was done and they ended up exchanging lazy open mouthed kisses until the water ran cold. Stiles was a bit surprised it didn't go further but didn't complain. They dried off and dressed slowly, packing a change of clothes and tugging the comforter from the bed. Derek moved around in the kitchen and Stiles grabbed a few books, just in case.
"You ready?" Derek asked eventually. Stiles felt a little thrill go through him.
"Yeah. Let's go." Derek offered a small smile and they headed out to the car, pausing by the hood as two women on the lawn next door waved. Stiles waved back bemusedly. "They probably heard us the other morning huh?" Stiles asked, still waving.
"Yup."
"Oh my god do they think you actually peed in me?" Derek laughed, loudly.
"No. They'd be able to smell it on you." Stiles blanched, turning to Derek.
"From here? Jesus Christ." Derek laughed again, shaking his head.
"I told you it's very useful."
"Very gross," Stiles disagreed again, rounding the car and sliding in. Derek was still smiling as they reversed onto the street. The women waved again as they drove by and Stiles managed a wave back, barely.

"I take it back," Stiles said when they were on the road, "a party with your neighbors would be way awkward."
"Especially since I don't know their names." Stiles gaped at him.
"You don't know your neighbors? Derek." He clicked his tongue.
"Forming attachments isn't my thing remember?"
"It could be. You just walk up and say 'Hi I'm Derek and sometimes I'm awfully surly sometimes but underneath that I'm a kitten with a warm nose.'" Derek blinked at him.
"A kitten? How-why-a kitten?"
"Dog comments offend you," Stiles said, lifting one shoulder.
"That's still better than a kitten," Derek groused.
"Wait so is the dog cat thing actually true? Do werewolves hate kittens or cats? Are there werecats?!" Derek rolled his eyes and twisted the radio on. He shot a quick glare to Stiles before looking back to the road. "It was an honest question," Stiles grumbled, grabbing one of the books and cracking it open.

Again Stiles spent more time watching Derek than actually reading the words printed on the page. He tried to commit the sight to memory. This just now felt like a private moment. Just for him. The second time Derek caught him staring he blushed and forced his attention to the book. Still it only worked so long and he ended up watching the trees whip by.
"Okay," Derek murmured, slowing and parking. "Let's go." Stiles grabbed the blanket and a few books, Derek grabbing bags that Stiles assumed held clothes and food. The trek through the trees was peaceful and Stiles fought to stay in the present rather than wondering again about what the future held. He still wouldn't get any answers. When they broke through to the lake Stiles paused just to take it in again. He hadn't exactly been appreciative the first time around. It really was beautiful. The kind of thing you were only supposed to see in movies. "You coming?" Derek questioned, amused. Stiles huffed in exaggerated irritation.
"Of course I am what's the rush?"
"You were the one who was eager," Derek reminded him. He let the bags in his hands drop before tipping his head back and stripping his shirt off. Stiles licking his lips was completely coincidental. Of course Derek turned to catch him, smirking. "You'd better hurry if you want me keeping you warm." Derek kicked off his shoes as Stiles let the stuff in his arms drop to the ground. He shrugged out of his hoodie, managing to step out of his shoes as he took his shirt off. He was impressed with himself, shooting a satisfied look to Derek, who promptly grabbed him around the waist and took off for the water.
"Derek!" he yelled in protest, wrapping his legs as high as possible on Derek's body.
"Trust me," Derek breathed. He waded into the water, unease in Stiles' stomach growing the deeper they got. "Breathe now," Derek said, tipping them both sideways. Stiles barely snapped his mouth shut in time, clutching at Derek as icy water engulfed them.

They were only submerged for a matter of seconds, Derek pulling Stiles back up as he broke the surface.
"Oh my g-god," Stiles exhaled. It wasn't cold to the point of pain but it was definitely cold. He clung to Derek even tighter, making him laugh. "H-How is this part of keeping me warm?"
"Oh right," Derek murmured, sliding a warm hand up Stiles' spine. He pressed his lips to Stiles' as his other hand settled on Stiles' thigh. Stiles hummed at the sensation, heat curling low in his stomach.
"Yeah okay pretty good p-plan," he admitted, teeth only chattering slightly. Derek's hands rubbed soothingly and Stiles shuddered.
"This was all your idea anyways." Stiles narrowed his eyes.
"Oh you like rubbing that in my face don't you?"
"Yeah," Derek admitted easily, smiling again.

Stiles wrinkled his nose.
"You can be very annoying." Derek's smile didn't falter.
"So can you." Stiles huffed a breath then.
"Is that any way to talk to me when I'm currently working my way towards an icy death for your benefit?" Derek snorted then, eyebrows moving up.
"My benefit? I'm the one keeping you afloat and without you I could actually swim." The hand on Stiles' spine slid down and Stiles squeaked, hugging Derek tightly.
"Okay okay point made! Don't let go my muscles are frozen and I'll drown!"
"You think I'd let you?" Derek questioned, his voice right in Stiles' ear. Stiles smiled to himself for a moment, another slight tremor working through him.
"Promising not to let me die isn't enough to keep me warm," he announced, "you'll have to do better."
"Has anyone ever told you you're ungrateful?" Derek murmured, swimming further from the shore slowly.
"Nope never," Stiles replied without actually thinking about it.
"Well you are," Derek offered. "Not to mention you'd be warmer if you swam. You'd also get a workout."
"Muscles still frozen. I'd die." Derek chuckled again in favor of arguing.

Stiles ventured from his grasp eventually, sliding through the frosty water slowly. Derek stayed close, eyebrows inching together as more time passed.
"I'm trying to figure out why this is supposed to be romantic," he admitted finally. Stiles laughed.
"What gave you the idea that swimming in a lake is romantic?" Derek flushed and Stiles was almost glad for the pale chill of his skin. He might not have seen it otherwise.
"It's in movies all the time."
"Yeah horror movies," Stiles teased. Derek splashed him, Stiles spluttering as he breathed in thick lake water. "Ugh gross," he muttered, running a hand down his face. He sent a splash back which Derek easily dodged. "Cheater," he complained half heartedly.
"How so?" Derek kicked lazily in a circle around him and Stiles was using both arms and legs just to stay above the surface. In one place. He scowled.
"Werewolf," he said pointing to Derek, "frail human." Derek only looked amused at the reminder and Stiles tried to splash him again. In retaliation Derek dove beneath the water, completely disappearing. "Oh shit," Stiles breathed. He twisted around, trying to look. The water was too dark and murky for him to see anything. But that meant that Derek couldn't see through it either…didn't it? He was almost expecting it but he still screamed when a hand grabbed his ankle. Derek tugged just barely, not enough to pull him under too. Stiles splashed the water. If Derek had come up for air Stiles hadn't seen him and he was already gone again. "You're the only one who finds this funny," he called. No answer. Derek was still lurking somewhere below the surface. Stiles spun again, slower. It was more for something to do than actually trying to find Derek. He wouldn't be seen unless he wanted to. "Derek come on this isn't-ouch!" Stiles jerked as his butt was pinched. "Not funny!" He reached around to rub at the burning skin.

Derek finally broke through the surface and it was immediately apparent he'd only come up to laugh. He laughed so hard the water rippled around him. Stiles glared at him, faltering as Derek continued to laugh. His entire face was squeezed tight with laughs still wracking his body. It was so loud Stiles thought it might even be echoing back to them.
"Okay it was not that funny," he tried. Derek ignored him. "Really Derek?" He was ignored again. Stiles huffed. He rolled his eyes. Derek was still laughing. Nearly an even mix of irritated and humiliated, Stiles swam towards shore. Derek caught up easily, arm wrapping around his waist and pulling him to a stop.
"I'm sorry," he kissed Stiles' shoulder quickly, chuckling again. "Sorry." He forced his lips to relax, pulling Stiles closer and slipping his arms around his back. "Are you mad?" he questioned somewhat seriously, eyes still crinkled.
"Maybe."
"I'm sorry," Derek offered again. Stiles sighed after a long moment.
"It's okay." He still couldn't manage a real glare. "You were just having fun."
"I was," Derek agreed, hissing the corner of his mouth softly. "I'll stay above water now."
"Thanks," Stiles muttered. Derek smiled as he kissed him again.

Stiles still wasn't completely sold on the lake, but curled up with Derek on the shore wasn't bad at all. Derek wrapped the comforter around both of them, dropping kisses on the back of Stiles' neck every so often. His hands were resting loosely on Stiles' stomach, legs bracketing his comfortably. Stiles rested against him and thought this was really nice after all. He shifted eventually, curling up on Derek's chest as his eyes closed. "Sleepy," he exhaled.
"Mm. Hungry?" Derek questioned, rubbing the curve of his spine.
"Nope," he paused a moment before smiling. "Wouldn't mind some beach sex though. Cross that off my bucket list." Derek laughed quickly.
"We're not having sex out here."
"Why? You'd hear if anyone was coming." Derek didn't answer. "What? I'm not sore anymore. Why not?"
"Let's not talk about this right now." There was an edge to his voice and Stiles couldn't help tensing.
"Alright," he agreed quietly. Derek started rubbing his back again and Stiles tried to forget about the near argument. It was easy enough. Push it away. Ignore it. Just like always.

They stayed at the beach for hours but Derek didn't manage to coax Stiles back into the water. He got in and out as if it wasn't even difficult. Stiles supposed he was used to it. "Where are you from?" he asked as it finally occurred to him to ask.
"I was born in Maine," he said eventually, "Why?" Stiles snorted.
"Well that's cheating."
"Oh?" Derek asked plopping down next to him, dripping again, "How so?"
"You grew up in Maine," Stiles accused, "that's like the icicle of the United States. How cold does it get there?" Derek shrugged.
"Colder than here." Stiles rolled his eyes.
"You are such a cheater. A werewolf that freaking grew up in Maine. Of course you're not cold!" Derek just smiled and ran a hand through his hair before flicking water at Stiles. Stiles swatted his arm. "I grew up in California," Stiles reminded him. "And I have sensitive skin," he sniffed.
"I know you bruise like crazy," Derek told him dryly.
"Is that why you won't touch me?" Stiles demanded. His eyes rounded as Derek's smile fell off. "Forget I said that I didn't mean to, it just came out!" He clapped both hands over his mouth and winced.
"I'm well aware you're not as fragile as you look," Derek said, glancing away. "We can talk about it when we get home if you want."
"We don't have to," he mumbled behind his cupped hands.
"We should. Not now." Derek looked back to him after several seconds, smiling again.

Stiles felt his lips stretch as he smiled too but he didn't really feel it. It was simply a function. A motion his body went through. He didn't feel like smiling at all. Instead he felt ill. He took several deep breaths, letting each out so slowly. Dragging the comforter with him Stiles climbed on Derek and pushed him down, twining their legs before flopping down and sighing softly.
"So did you like growing up in Maine? Was there lots of snow?" Derek laughed, shaking him slightly. His hands slid under the comforter and around Stiles.
"Yes Stiles there was lots of snow."
"Well I don't know anything about Maine. What am I supposed to ask?"
"You don't have to ask anything?"
"Does it bother you?"
"No."
"Then I want to. I take it you weren't near a city?"
"No," Derek answered quietly, "about twenty miles from the coast, way up north."
"Pretty?"
"Very."
"Sounds nice." Derek hummed his agreement. The conversation more or less fell off and Stiles let it, content to stay curled against Derek for as long as possible.

They didn't leave until it was so dark Stiles had to hold to Derek's hand to find his way. Stiles didn't let himself think about why they'd both stalled so long. Why they didn't want to. He didn't even actually know. He just knew it was bad. Derek putting it off wasn't good either. Derek putting it off for him, he could feel it, wasn't helping. Stiles inhaled and held it in until his lungs burned and he could focus on that instead.
"Relax," Derek murmured, "you're acting like I'm going to pull to the side of the road and dismember you." Stiles barely resisted the urge to pout. "You're supposed to laugh," Derek added. Maybe I would…if I actually knew you weren't going to dismember me. It wasn't like it would be an intentional dismemberment. But still. Stiles was pretty sure that whatever was going to happen when they got home was going to fit the definition, loosely at least.
"I'm just- stressed," he admitted, eyes not leaving the black of the window.
"Why?" Stiles snorted, leaning his chin into his hand.
"Give you one guess." Derek was silent after that. Stiles didn't know whether he was relieved or not. The closer and closer they got to home the more tense Stiles got. It wasn't until the car rolled to a stop that Stiles even realized he was thinking of Derek's house as home. Okay that was a serious problem.
"You coming?" Derek questioned quietly.
"Yeah. Course." Still Stiles didn't move. Home. Home. When exactly had Derek become home? An actual pinpointed second would be nice because he really had no idea. This wasn't okay. Derek pulled Stiles' door open, leaning against it and watching him. Stiles gulped. When had he even gotten out of the car?
"Are you alright?" Stiles didn't answer. He couldn't. Not when it was a firm, resounding no.

Derek followed him in and Stiles' hands were tangling in his sleeves. This was too much. He was going to have a panic attack. "Sit," Derek said, guiding him to the futon, "breathe." Stiles nodded, sitting and working on the breathing part. Derek brought him a glass of water before sitting down next to him. He didn't say anything and Stiles ended up gulping the entire glass. His hands were shaking. "Can I talk?" Derek questioned after what felt like forever. Stiles looked at the empty glass clutched in his hands. He nodded once. "If we…" he paused awkwardly and Stiles managed a quick glance. "With the full moon coming," Derek tried again, "it's going to get rougher. More desperate. Because our time is limited now. And we both know it." Stiles nodded again.
"So you don't want to hurt me."
"Basically. Yes. We're just going to have to try and slow it down again."
"But I thought you had more control of your wolf? With me?" Yes this is good distract me with other issues of our relationship.
"I would…if my wolf and I didn't want the same thing." Stiles shot another quick look at him, immediately regretting it. Derek was the one to break the connection and Stiles clutched the glass tighter.
"What do you want? What does he want?" Stiles knew he shouldn't ask. He shouldn't but he had to because all this time he hadn't known but he'd known or maybe at least he'd somehow thought he'd known. It was a huge tangled mess that he couldn't find his way through but maybe if Derek was there too…
"You already know," Derek admitted, "you already know I want to keep you." The words rocked through Stiles and he couldn't breathe. The glass dropped from his hands, rolling off the toe of his sneaker. I want to keep you too. The words were just there, tugging at his lips and smothering his tongue. "But I've been thinking," Derek continued. Stiles' heart hammered. Thinking what? Thinking what? "Maybe it's time for me to go home."

We are home. It was the first thing he thought. Then his brain caught up somewhat and Stiles frowned.

Go home. Go home as in leave. Leave me. He's leaving me.

A/N:

Ahem.

Slowly put down the pitchforks

and back away.

First of all a bit late. Sorry.

Second I know this was like…really fluffy. It's for a really stupid reason so yeah.

In case you can't tell the angst is officially kicking into high gear next chapter.

Ummmm

What else.

Oh I think updates will be EITHER Thursday or Friday. It just really depends because I discovered today that my Thursdays are exhausting.

But still weekly updates.

You have my permission to harass me if I miss one without an update over on tumblr as to why/when it's coming.

I can't think what else I wanted to say

So thank you all

So very much!