Title: Daunting.

Summary: I knew in the end I would fight for him, kill for him and probably die for him, but I didn't care because he saved me from my worst possible enemy…myself.

Pairing: Draco & Harry

Rating: T (for now)

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, if I did stuff like this would have happened a long time ago!

Chapter 5

I laughed. I knew I wasn't meant to but I did, and by the look on his face he was not amused that I had laughed. He crossed his arms across his chest and sent me a glare, I stopped my chuckling and tried as best I could to look serious.

"I'm being serious Draco," Blaise huffed.

"Well of course then, I'll put in a good word," I once again had to stifle a laugh that threatened to spill out of my mouth.

"Draco stop shitting around I really like her," the dark boy pleaded.

"You said that about the last one and the one before that, and I think the one before that actually," and then I did allow myself a small chuff, we were walking slowly down the corridor in the direction of the library to meet our 'new' friends when Blaise had just come right out with the funniest comment I think he had ever made.

"Malfoy listen to me," he stood in front of me to stop my path and he grabbed my shoulders roughly. I humoured him and stopped to listen to what he was going to say, I already had some idea of what he was going to say.

"I'm being truthful and as your best friend it's your job to believe me," he pleaded.

"Well, what do you want me to do? She only just broke up with Potter what make you think that she'll go for you? Honestly man? Just try I don't know getting to know her first or something," what else was there to suggest. He turned away from me and started to walk back down the corridor. I followed him a few steps behind, both of us getting lost in our own thoughts. Assumingly on the same people.

Potter. We had not spoken since the incident outside the great hall, he mainly just glared and I just tried to stay out of his way, it was much easier that way. And even though he mostly left me alone he still haunted most of my thoughts. I was trying so hard to change, and I was trying so hard. I felt I was doing well considering who I was before. I had made new friends, new people I trusted and cared for. New people that I found I could lose myself in, become someone different to, people who could really see the change, and I suppose that's why Potter bugged me so much, because the one person who would see the biggest change, the one person who I wanted to prove myself most to was the one person who didn't want to know. And the saddest thing was I couldn't blame him.

"Blaise," he stopped and turned to look, "I'm going outside for a walk, I'll come up soon," I didn't wait for his response, I couldn't see the concerned look on his face, I just couldn't.

I rapped my cloak tighter around me and the cold November air bit my once warm body. I knew soon that my nose would turn red, I'd probably lose the feeling in my fingers and all around the cold would end up burning. But I didn't care, it just proved that I was human; that I wasn't perfect, and at that moment in time that's all I needed to feel.

The cold rapped around me like a second cloak, it was bitter and real.

I walked to the lake and stood by the freezing waters, as I stood and watched the ripples, I wondered what it would be like to fall in, to let the water cleanse me of my sins, to let it consume me and all that I once was.

I tried so hard and I was still trying with all my might to stay on top of everything, to stay on top of trying to be different, trying to be good. It was tiresome. There was never a break, never a time I could relax and just let go, just forget about everything for one minute, to just be free.

I stared at the water lapping at the shore in front of me, a sigh threatened to escape my body but I held it back. I closed my eyes and breathed in deep.

"What the fuck are you doing out here Malfoy?" snapped a harsh voice from behind me. I turned around quick to face the seething face of the boy I had not long been thinking about. It crossed my mind, if I was being honest to run. But I held strong, I use to be the most hated boy in school, and if Potter was going to be a prick I dam well could be as well.

"How is that any of your business?" I snapped back at him.

"What did you just say?" he said it so low toned it made me swallow thickly.

Shit.