A/N: I have a feeling you're going to either like or greatly dislike this chapter.
Which ever one - enjoy! Merry Christmas to all the celebraters!
Chapter 11
I send an owl to Dumbledore stating that I would be glad if we could talk.
I feel tired and confused and heavy. The thinking had helped me clear my head but not the load on my heart… I had ignored the too hardest parts of it all.
I lie on my bed and slip into an uneasy sleep.
I'm sitting with James, Sirius and Peter under our favourite beech tree, we look about fourteen and we are laughing at something. Then we notice a girl walking towards us, Lily Evans, and she's smiling broadly and pregnant and looks about twenty. James runs his hand through his hair and then Lily suddenly turns to a different girl, to Tonks, andI feel a sudden urge to run a hand through my hair...
I wake up with a start and shake my head at the insanity of life, what was that all about?
I hear a sharp rap on the door.
"Who is it?" I ask uncertainly, the figure of Tonks still in my mind.
"It is I, Dumbledore." and with that the tall, silver bearded figure enters the room. He gazes at me with his crystal eyes. "I gather you want answers".
I nod.
"Sirius was the Potters' secret keeper, they would not have it any other way. There is no chance that he would let it slip. Not if his friends were important to him. We knew there was a traitor in our midst. Sadly, that says it all."
He dropped his head.
"Peter's finger" he continued "is still a mystery, but I really think he just wanted his family to have a memory of him"
There is something convincing in his voice. Something soothing and yet hard pressed.
"Tonks," he continued," will be going back to Hogwarts in a few days".
It feels as if Dumbledore knows how I feel and what I am about to ask.
"James and Lily's funeral will be held tomorrow afternoon in the Godric's Hollow cemetery".
I definitely didn't think of that one.
"Will you be coming?"
"Of course I will!" How could he think otherwise.
"Of course, of course, how could I ever dream otherwise".
I have a really bad feeling, as if he really does know what I'm thinking, like he's inside my thoughts. But he wouldn't, would he?
I close my mind instantly, using the occlumecy Dumbledore himself taught me, and I immediately feel a pressure lifting from my mind, a pressure that was there since Dumbledore told me of James's death, a pressure which I thought was there due to the whole situation.
Dumbledore seems to pale.
"I must go now, Mad eye will be here tomorrow so you can go with him to the funeral. Good day".
And with that he left the room.
Was he in my mind the whole time? Why would he do that? I would have been willing to talk to him.
Does he know what I think? What I feel? What I dream?