Chapter 2: Muse

**Jamie's POV**

The days passed by and I still don't have a clue on what to add next to my sequel. My first book, Seeing Through, was finished nearly four months ago. I started on the sequel, Impotence, two months ago. Basically, the story revolves around the efforts of Esther Marie, the daughter of a wealthy aristocrat, and her ability to see "what others can't". I know, it sounds like ghosts, right? But it's not just limited to that, she can see ghosts, angels, demons, hearts even. The first book starts off with her seeing the first victim of what will later be known as the Heartless Spree, because of the killer's gruesome method of murder… that and he takes their hearts. The first book focuses on Esther's attempts to warn and protect the sixty victims of the antagonist, who remains unnamed throughout the book, and her apparent discovery of her position as the last victim, the sixtieth victim, the "Usherette of Darkness".

My spine tingles whenever I think about it. I have the energy, but I have no inspiration! Ugh, I feel so useless; my Muse dried up the moment I put the last period in place. I need another!

I lay back down on my bed, waiting for four-thirty to roll around, where for an hour the wardens allow the inmates—

The stable inmates…

Would you shut up? This is my story.

Well, I wouldn't have to interrupt if you'd be telling it right.

—Fine, the stable inmates to wander out in the grounds. Happy now?

Yes.

Anyway, a few minutes later, the Warden for my prison block, a rather strict man who didn't take kindly to back talk, opened my door. He gestured with his hand that the door is open if I wanted to step outside. I nodded, feigning hesitation and hiding my impatience, and shuffled outside.

I did my best to refrain from just running to the door, as that would probably alarm the Warden behind me and cancel my day-out. I shuffled, bowing my head and letting my bangs hide my face. The door was an arm's length.

Just open the door already goddamnit!

I had to agree with the Voice, just open the door already! The Warden, seemingly sensing impatience though I tried to hide it, took his time. I glared at him from beneath my bangs. He guffawed and opened the door. I took a deliberate step outside, making sure to step on the tip of his shiny black shoes… by accident, of course.

He scowled, but before he could tell me off, I was already in front of the library door. I didn't look back.

I immediately set my sights on the Fiction section of the Library. I started to walk, nodding and smiling politely to the librarian, Ms. Claire. She nodded in acknowledgement.

I picked up five random books and read their backs. I let go of two, choosing to keep three. The point where I stopped in Impotence included Esther meeting the fifty-ninth victim, Roger Smith, who was entitled "The Portal". From there, I just… blanked.

I said it before, and I'm saying it again. You're an idiot.

'Oh, what now?'

Look at the covers!

I complied reluctantly, and then my jaw dropped. Romance novels… I picked up romance novels.

'A love story…'

Wasn't I enough inspiration, Jamie?

I slapped myself mentally. "I'm an idiot," I muttered.

Why didn't I just draw inspiration from my spat with Jack? I asked myself this question over and over while I went to the librarian to have the books I chose recorded and ready for borrowing.

But you know the answer to that, Jamie. It said, adapting an almost sad tone.

I sighed mentally, of course I did. 'But can you say it for me?'

Why do I have to say it?

`Cause you brought it up in the first place.'

Fine: You were afraid… afraid of what?

I smiled a little at its rhetorical question.

Repercussions; consequences of you picking at a wound that had only begun to heal, or, if you ask me, hasn't even started to heal. You're afraid of drawing inspiration from an event that got you locked up in this shithole in the first place.

'Enough.' I thought. It's not Jack's fault I wound up in Saint Dymphna's. Hell, I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know where I am at the moment.

Probably at some fancy high school dating cheerleaders and part of the honors…

I growled; the librarian looked up, I quickly turned the growl into a small cough. "Sorry, a little dusty where I got those."

She raised an eyebrow, but other than that spoke none of the matter. She gave me the books and I left, waving goodbye.

I had five minutes remaining when I came back to the building. The Warden I had was now at the building opposite me. In his place was a strict, but also kind woman with shoulder length auburn hair.

"Enjoy the library, Jamie?" she asked. I nodded, and then gave a small smile. She led me back to my room and locked the door. I dumped the books on my bed and then picked one up randomly.

"The Fault in Our Stars… John Green," I muttered. I put it down and cleaned my bed; I piled the books in a neat pile on my desk, folded the blankets and set my pillow up. Then I leaned against the wall and began to read.

Hi guys! Favor: please Read&Review... i'm SORRY, I'M GETTING PARANOID THAT NO ONE'S READING MY FANFICS... Sowy.. :/