Okay, guys! This chapter is especially to thank you for all these amazing reviews. Of course I write mostly because I need to get my version of the characters out of my head before it would drive me insane but I never imagined that so many would enjoy reading my version of Jess and Nick.
This chapter is a Christmas present for all of you, and you can also thank the amazingly awesome HIMYM ep from Monday for this chapter. My shipper heart is just so, so, so, so happy right now.
Just a reminder:
I am an angst fan and this story is rated M for a reason. Yes, even I think that was enough verbal foreplay. It's time for the smut. :-)
Oh, and this story is going to be a rollercoaster ride. Expect some 180 turns along the way. Nick and Jess are going to be all over the place. Just a warning. I hope you enjoy! :-)
Chapter 4
Standing in front of her door Nick suddenly asked himself if they hadn't overdone it with all the flirting and dirty talking because they'd set the bar pretty high. Weren't they determined to be disappointed after they'd made each other that hot? It hardly ever paid off to set your expectations so high. Didn't they say 'the higher you climb the harder you fall'?
Why had he been talking to her like that? He didn't even know what had gotten into him. Normally he was pretty self-conscious about his body and even though he was always telling the guys that he was good in bed a part of him always wondered if the women who left his bed were really satisfied. Because you only have to think of 'Harry and Sally' and the fake orgasm of Meg Ryan. It sounded very convincing and if Meg Ryan could do it, every woman could fake an orgasm.
He was showing nerves and he didn't like it. It was actually Schmidt's fault. If he hadn't made him help clean up after the party ended he could have slipped into Jess' room only seconds after she'd said her good-nights. But she'd disappeared behind her door about fifteen minutes ago and now he was standing in front of the door with trembling hands, almost too nervous to knock.
But then he remembered how she looked like in that sin of a dress and a smile curved up his lips. She had looked gorgeous and he hadn't lied. He was looking forward to seeing her naked again. He wouldn't let his nervousness get in the way. Not this time.
~N&J~
"Damn it, Schmidt." Jess cursed under her breath.
She was nervous and it was all Schmidt's fault. If he hadn't asked for Nick's help with the cleaning she would probably be already wrapped around Nick's body. She was pacing through her room, kneading her hands, her gaze flickering every few seconds to the door. As long as Nick had been looking at her with this heated gaze she couldn't think of anything else than having him inside of her. But now, alone in her room, she had time to think about everything that could go wrong.
She wasn't an Amazon who seduced men as if it was nothing. She didn't have any special moves. What if he would be disappointed? What if she wouldn't be good enough in bed for him?
She stared into the mirror and didn't recognize herself. What had she been thinking? A dress didn't make a woman. She was still Jess. The dress didn't change that. Suddenly she tucked at the dress, feeling as if it suffocated her. That wasn't her. This dress, the flirting.
She wriggled out of the dress, almost tearing it apart because she couldn't get it off soon enough. Throwing it into the corner she grabbed her pajamas and put them on, letting out a deep breath. Much better.
Stepping to the mirror, she raised her hands and pulled the pins out of her hair, letting it fall over her shoulders. Grabbing a paper tissue from the window sill, she rubbed it over her lips until all the lipstick was gone.
She couldn't pretend to be another person any longer. If Nick wanted her he had to want her just the way she was. The Jess who wore flannel pajamas in bed and not some silky nightgown that hardly covered her ass.
She already contemplated to slip under the covers and pretend to be sleeping. She wasn't sure anymore if she wanted to cross the line but before she could decide if she should evade him or not she heard the knock on the door and she knew she needed to face him.
~N&J~
"Come in." Jess said and cleared her throat, waiting for him to enter the room.
Nick's first thought was disappointment when he stepped into the room and saw that she'd already changed out of her dress and into one of her pajamas but then his gaze fell on her face, realizing that he wasn't the only one who was showing nerves. Somehow it made him less nervous to see that Jess wasn't that self-confident either.
She was standing in front of the mirror with her arms folded over her chest and her bottom lip drawn between her teeth. She looked like a frightened cat, ready to jump back if anyone would approach her. So he walked slowly towards the bed and lay down before he lifted his gaze to meet her eyes.
Jess didn't know what she had expected. But she'd actually thought he would come into the room and grab her and throw her on the bed and just make her forget all her doubts. But he still hadn't said a word, only walking to the bed and lying down. Did he expect her to jump him?
But then their gazes met and she released a relieved breath. She completely forgot the fact that they were friends and that Nick knew her a lot better than all the men she dated.
"Come here." Nick said softly, raising his arm and Jess walked over and slipped under it, snuggling into his side, burying her face in his neck. "Tell me when you feel comfortable again, okay?"
Jess only nodded and Nick put his hand on her shoulder, careful to not make any sexual move. He hadn't liked the expression on her face, hadn't liked the fact that he was the one who put it on there. Pressing his face in her hair he whispered. "We don't have to do anything, Jess. We can just lay here as long as you need to, okay?"
"Okay." Jess mumbled against his shirt, relaxing into the embrace.
It felt good to lie in his arms, knowing that he didn't expect anything from her. Just like that he had taken the pressure of her, and she enjoyed feeling his chest rising and falling under her cheek. They were lying silently in each other's arms for quite some time and a smile escaped her lips as she felt his hand, running up and down her spine. She didn't think he was even aware of doing it.
Then Nick turned his head slightly and pressed a kiss against her forehead and suddenly all the desire slammed back into her. She felt his scruff against her skin, his fingers playing along her back and her body began to tingle. She still wanted him. There was no way to deny it. As she tilted her head she was suddenly well aware of his cologne and she inhaled deeply, wondering how it was possible to be aroused by a scent someone had created in a lab.
"Are you sniffing me?"
"Yes." Jess admitted, taking another breath. "You are playing with unfair methods, Nicholas Miller."
"What are you talking about?" Nick asked confused, leaning back to have a look at her face.
"You're wearing Armani." Jess replied, pushing away from his body to face him.
"I'm definitely not wearing Armani." Nick said. "I can't afford Armani. I don't even know what brand my shirt and jeans are."
"I'm not talking about your clothes." Jess told him, letting out a soft chuckle. "I'm talking about your cologne. It's Acqua di Gio by Armani, right?"
"Yes, it is. But why is wearing it unfair?" Nick shook his head. "I don't get it. It's just a cologne."
"It's not just a cologne." Jess insisted. "It's Acqua di Gio."
"You said that already. What is so special about it?"
"I'm a sucker for it." Jess explained, cocking her head to the side and throwing him a lopsided grin. "Are you trying to seduce me?"
"I thought that's what I've been doing all night." Nick replied, relieved that she seemed to feel comfortable around him again.
"So you still want me?" Jess asked, holding her breath as she waited for his answer.
"I wanted you since the moment you dropped your towel and you were standing in all your glorious nakedness in front of me." Nick lifted his hand and brushed his fingers over her cheek. "There were times I wished I could just erase the memory out of my brain. It would have made my life a lot less like hell."
"Was it that bad?" Jess asked, dropping her gaze to his chest, fumbling with the labels of his shirt.
"Bad? Oh no, I'm not talking about that." Nick said, pulling her chin up. "Your body ... you look amazing, Jess. That was the problem."
"Huh?" Jess furrowed her brows, confused.
"I couldn't get you out of my head." Nick explained. "I didn't want to have those thoughts about you."
"And what thoughts would that be?" Jess asked, leaning down to press her lips against his and Nick's hand slipped into her hair as he opened his mouth and met her tongue, kissing her slowly but thoroughly.
Jess let out a surprised shriek when Nick suddenly pulled her down and shifted her around so that she was lying underneath him, his body pressing her into the mattress as he grinned down at her. "I even had fantasies about peeling you out of one of your flannel pajamas."
"You have?" Jess asked breathlessly, her nipples already tightened under his heated gaze.
"Yes." His hand trailed over the row of buttons on her pajama top, opening the one button at the very end and his fingers brushed over the exposed skin, a satisfied smile appearing on his face as goosebumps erupted on her skin. "I always imagined taking my sweet time with taking it off?"
"You did?" Jess breathed, her eyes fluttering shut when Nick leaned down to press his lips against the pulse point at the side of her neck while his fingers skimmed over her stomach.
"I told you I want to make you beg." Nick said, trailing his lips along the V of her top as his fingers opened the rest of the buttons. But he let the fabric still rest over her breasts, he didn't pull it away.
"At least take off your shirt if you want to torture me." Jess let out on a breath of air. "Let me touch you."
Nick looked down at her, smiling when he saw that her eyes were closed and her hands were curled into fists around the sheet. If she wanted to touch him who was he to deny it? So he leaned back on his knees and unbuttoned his shirt, throwing it on the ground, grinning when she still didn't open her eyes.
Jess had heard his shirt hitting the ground but she still asked. "Did you take it off?"
"Yes, I did."
"Good." Jess replied, opening her eyes and trailing her gaze up and down his torso. "Very good."
"I hope so." Nick said, leaning down again to continue with his task to drive her crazy. But at least she could feel his skin under her hands now.
Nick skimmed his fingers up and down her chest, only touching the swell of her breasts and Jess held her breath, hoping for him to slip his hands under the flannel and take her breast into his hand but he never did.
"Nick, please." Jess finally pleaded because she couldn't take it any longer. She wanted his hands on her. She wanted to feel his mouth closing around her nipples.
"Please what?" Nick asked, stilling his hand between her breasts while his eyes bored into hers. She could feel his erection pressing into her thigh and she didn't know how he could stay that calm when her whole body was on fire.
"Please touch me." She almost whimpered, grasping his hand, trying to push it under the fabric but he resisted her pull.
"I am touching you." Nick replied, enjoying to make her squirm under his hands.
"You know exactly where I want you to touch me." Jess huffed out frustrated.
"You want me to touch your gumbo pot?" Nick teased, laughing out loud as he saw a flash of annoyance cross her face.
He was still laughing as she pushed him back and sat up and he laughed even harder when she pushed him on his back and straddled him, her face scrunched up with annoyance.
But suddenly her expression turned into a smug one and Nick almost choked on his laughter when she took her pajama top between her hands and pulled it open, revealing her breasts to him.
Jess pressed her center into his erection and congratulated herself when the amusement vanished out of his eyes, getting replaced by raw desire. She always thought that her breasts were too small but Nick certainly didn't think that. He stretched out his hand and brushed his finger over one of her nipples and Jess arched her back, pushing her breast further into his hand.
Nick sat up, wrapping an arm around her waist and pushed her gently back so that she bent back over his arm, almost pushing her breasts in his face and he pulled one nipple between his thumb and forefinger, twirling it slightly, watching her face intently.
Jess felt as if she would explode any second, every tug sent shivers through her body and she wrapped her hands around his neck, needing something to hold on to as she suddenly felt his mouth closing around her nipple and sucking it in and a groan escaped her throat as he twirled his tongue around it.
Nick thought his pants would burst open any second since his erection was pressing painfully against the zipper. Taking her nipple into his mouth had made him almost delirious with need. He wanted to suck her, fill her, lick her all over. Releasing her nipple, he pulled her head down, crushing his lips on hers, forcing his tongue into her mouth, kissing her hungrily.
Flipping them around, he pressed his body into hers, his mouth never leaving hers as he took one of her breasts into his hand again, feeling her nipple almost burning a hole in his hand.
Wrenching his mouth off hers, he panted heavily, leaning back to kneel between her legs and he slipped his fingers around the waistband of her pajama pants, staring into her eyes to make sure that she still wanted to take the last step.
Without saying a word Jess lifted her hips, giving him a silent answer to his silently asked question and he took a deep breath before he pulled it down her legs, covering her body immediately with his own again.
Jess pulled his head down, engaging him in another hot kiss and he trailed his hand down her body, slipping it between her folds, taking in a sharp breath as he found her already soaking wet and he pushed one finger into her, making her gasp under his mouth, pulling his finger slowly out of her, slipping it back in as slow, enjoying every moan he elicited out of her.
Jess couldn't wait any longer and she pulled his finger out of her, slapping his hand away to get to his pants and she fumbled frantically with his belt, her fingers shaking as she lowered his zipper and she sat up, wrapping her hands around the fabric and pushing it down, taking his boxer briefs down at the same time.
She didn't even notice that he wriggled out of his pants and socks. The moment she saw his cock springing out of its confines, her vision zeroed in on it and she licked her lips as she lifted her hand and took it in her hand, pumping it slowly up and down.
Nick closed his hand around hers, stopping her and Jess looked up questioningly but Nick could only shake his head. He was beyond forming any words. All he could think about was burying himself in her wetness and he ripped the condom packet, he had taken out of his pocket, open and pulled it down his length before he laid down between her legs, ready to enter her.
"Nick, wait. I've changed my mind." Jess whispered, pressing her hands against his hips.
He could feel her folds against the head of his penis and he gritted his teeth, almost not able to stop.
"Okay." Nick inhaled a deep breath and pulled back but Jess' hands shot forward and she dug her fingers into his hips.
"Where are you going?" Jess asked surprised.
"You just said ..." Nick said confused but Jess interrupted him impatiently.
"I didn't mean for you to stop, you idiot."
"Then what did you mean?"
"I'm choosing the second option." Jess replied quietly and Nick let out his breath on a whoosh. Her words had shot a jolt of electricity through his body and it took everything in him to not just slam into her.
"Are you sure?" Nick said barely above a whisper.
"I don't want slow. Not this time." Jess whispered. "Make me forget where we are. Make me forget who I am. Just take me, Nicholas."
His arms began to tremble with the effort to hold himself back and Jess was amazed to see what power she had over him. She trailed one hand over his chest, feeling him shiver and she wrapped it around his neck, pulling him down towards her while her other hand snaked between their bodies and took him firmly in her hand, guiding him to her entrance, releasing him to slip her hand around to his ass. She admired his self-control because he still didn't move, she could see the pulse hammering in his throat and realized that he wouldn't do what she wanted him to do if she didn't push him further.
Nick felt his heart hammering in his chest and he almost got off when Jess wrapped her hand around him but he still feared to give her what she wanted, not sure if she really wanted him to get rough. But then she pulled his head down to her, her breath brushed over his cheek and when her hoarse voice reached his ear, he almost got a heart attack.
"Fuck me, Nicholas!"
With the last word she dug her fingers in his ass and arched her back, raising her hips from the bed and he couldn't hold himself back any longer and slammed into her, burying himself completely in her and a long moan escaped her throat, her body arching even more into him.
He stilled inside of her, needing a few seconds to calm himself so that he wouldn't get off within seconds, relishing the feeling of her tight sheath around him. Jess closed her eyes, her breath coming out in sharp gasps. Having him inside of her felt amazing, but she wanted more. She wanted everything.
Her whole body vibrated and she opened her eyes slowly, searching his gaze and when she saw how he'd pressed his eyes shut, how his mouth was pressed into a thin line, her heart swelled in her chest. She lifted one hand to press it against his chest, directly over his heart, and her other hand stroked over his cheek until he opened his eyes.
"I want you, Nicholas. Oh my God, I want you so much." She brushed her fingers over the frown between his eyes, not believing that he could still hold back while he was buried inside of her when she was almost going crazy because she wanted him to move, and she said the one thing she was sure would make him move.
"Please, Nick. I'm begging you. Move!" She saw the smile erupting on his face and she added. "Take me hard. And fast. Please!"
She could see it snap inside of his eyes and she sighed relieved that she was finally able to make him snap as he drew back before he slammed into her once again. "Oh my God! Yes!"
Nick had tried to hold his grasp on the last restraints of his control but hearing her husky moans, seeing her eyes hooded with desire, feeling her body tremble as he slammed into her, pushed him over the edge and he gave her the wild ride she apparently wanted.
~N&J~
After three rounds of mindblowingly fantastic sex Nick thought he would fall into a coma-like sleep but sleep didn't come. Jess had fallen asleep about an hour ago, snuggled up against him, her head lying on his shoulder and he could feel her breath brushing over his skin every time she exhaled. He turned his head and looked down into her face, raising his other hand to brush the bangs away from her eyes. She shifted slightly and sighed quietly before she snuggled deeper into his body, her hand resting directly above his heart and Nick leaned down, burying his face in her hair for a second.
He had done what he promised himself would never happen. He had completely lost control and not only because she had whispered his name over and over again while he pounded into her. He had wanted to take her hard. The moment she'd wrapped her legs around him and drew him closer, he had lost it. He had driven into her with hardly restrained brutality, muffling her screams with his mouth, kissing her ferociously while he buried himself in her over and over again.
He'd thought that it would be just the first time. That all the pent-up tension which had been building up between them over the last months had to go somewhere. But the second and third round hadn't been any different. It had always started slow, with teasing touches and butterfly kisses, but every time it had been like if a switch had been flipped and their kisses had turned hungry, his fingers had tightened around her hips as he'd buried himself in her, driving himself as deep as he could. Looking back at the third time he felt like an animal. He had taken her from behind. Hard. It didn't matter that she'd liked it. That she'd even encouraged him to take her harder.
This uncontrollable passion, this animalistic lust ... it wasn't them. They were Nick and Jess. Two people who didn't have wild moves, two people who weren't adventurous when it came to sex. Who the hell were those people who went at it as if there was no tomorrow, not caring if they left marks on each other's bodies? He didn't recognize himself. That wasn't him and it was definitely not her.
He cursed under his breath as his gaze fell on her hip and he could see the bruises his fingers had left there. He'd hurt her. The problem was he didn't know if he could have stopped if he had really hurt her and only the thought that he might be able to hurt her without really wanting to, scared the shit out of him.
It was just too much. This wasn't how Jess should be treated. He'd fucked the hell out of her. You couldn't call it any other way and he left her body bruised and battered. No surprise that she fell asleep immediately. She must be exhausted and he doubted it was a good kind of exhaustion.
He felt terrible. It had been a mistake. He never should have touched her. He never should have acted on the attraction.
Carefully he pulled her hand down and slipped out of under her head. She sighed and he froze, releasing a relieved breath when she wrapped her arms around the pillow without waking up.
Silently he searched for his clothes and without bothering to put on his boxer briefs, he just slipped into his jeans and just shrugged on his shirt without buttoning it before he tiptoed to the door. His hand was already on the doorknob when her husky voice stopped him dead in his tracks.
"Nick, what are you doing? Come back to bed. It's Sunday. We can sleep in or we can go for another round."
Nick turned around slowly and his heart skipped a beat as he took in her tousled appearance. He would like nothing better than to slip back under the sheets with her, his body ached to take her again. But he would not let his body overrule his head this time.
Her happy grin slowly dropped from her face as she studied him and a frown appeared between her brows. "What's going on, Nick?"
"I'm sorry, Jess." Nick said quietly.
"Sorry about what?" Jess sat up, alarmed by the expression on his face.
"Sorry about what happened last night."
"You are ..." Jess narrowed her eyes and Nick flinched as her voice slashed through the air. "You're sorry? Sorry about what happened?"
"I shouldn't have let it get that far." Nick tried to explain, oblivious to the storm that was coming his way. "So yeah, I'm sorry."
"Get out!"
"Jess, I ..." Nick looked at her, confused. He had just tried to apologize for his rude behavior and he didn't think he deserved her anger.
"Get the hell out of my room!" Jess shouted, pointing with a trembling finger towards the door while her other hand was holding the sheet against her body. "Now!"
Nick didn't understand why she was so angry but he thought it would be best to just let her calm down a little and talk to her when she was ready to listen to him. He turned the doorknob and hurried out of her room before she would start throwing things at him.
Jess was staring at the now closed door, her whole body shaking with anger. She'd just had the most amazing night of her life and now he'd gone and ruined it. Making her feel as if they'd done something extremely dirty. Of course it had been dirty. It had been insanely hot and dirty sex. Sex that had almost stopped her heart from beating, sex that had driven her wild with need.
She would have never thought she could let herself go like this and she didn't want to feel ashamed that she'd begged him for more. That she'd wanted him to take her hard, almost demanding from him to take her to the fine line between pain and lust where she'd almost exploded as he'd filled her with feelings she'd never felt before. No, she wasn't ashamed. It had been the best sex she'd ever had and he would not let him taint it in any way.
She swung her legs over the bedside and stifled a groan as all her muscles protested against the movement. She was sore at places she'd never been sore before and feeling the slight burn between her legs she gritted her teeth, hissing angrily. "You bastard!"
She was furious. She didn't even feel the need to watch Dirty Dancing. She couldn't imagine shedding even one tear. They would vaporize anyway the moment they would hit her skin. She was seething with rage. No, she was definitely not in the mood for Dirty Dancing. She was in the mood for something violent, something along the lines of 'The Walking Dead'. She wasn't feeling heartbroken. She wanted to rip his head off and shove it up his ass. She couldn't remember that she'd ever felt that betrayed, that angry.
She would have never thought Nick would ever betray her like that. He didn't catch her. He'd pushed her over the edge and it felt as if she was still falling. The moment she would let go off the anger she would crash on the ground. She needed to hold on to the anger. Because the moment she would hit the ground her heart would shatter into a million pieces and she would not let that happen.
Yes, I'm the one obsessed with the scent 'Acqua di Gio' and I just made Jess obsessed with it, too. I swear I always check out the man when I smell it. :-)
I know this ending isn't very Christmasy but it's just where the story is right now. So, have a wonderful Christmas and, like we say here, a great slide into the new year with a hopefully manageable hangover the next day. I hope I'll see you all safe and sound in 2013. :-)