A/N: This unusual update pattern is set in motion especially for Concupiscence66 and Roy the Starfish. A huge thanks to both of you for the positivefeedback, and hopefully this long one makes up for the previous filler!

And, as promised, the remainder of this story is dedicated to you, the aforementioned Concupiscence66. Your personal poetry inspires.

Now, to focus. Extreme nerd-love points go to anyone who knows which Dorian character the upcoming woman represents.

Chapter title comes from the beautiful 'Fool' by Cat Power.

SIX

Half of It's Misunderstanding Love

Eight o' clock that night found Vince Noir waiting nervously in the Nabootique, pacing from side to side, wrestling with nausea, guilt and the urge to run away. He didn't want to go on this date; he wasn't up for it physically or emotionally. And yet there he was, biding his time until his "carefully selected" woman of the evening came around the shop to meet him. Why? Because Leroy's manipulative chicanery had convinced him to. Although is it really manipulation if you know you're being manipulated?

In between uncharacteristically fidgety strides, Vince would throw a cautious glance toward the stairs, hoping to the higher powers-that-be that Howard would stay up there and not come down until after he had left, or, preferably, returned. He didn't plan on being out too late, and although he knew he was being ridiculous, he'd rather have his date in secrecy.

Vince was behind the front counter, leaning downward from the sudden pain in his chest, undoubtedly as a result of the previous night's violent fling with the Ferret Lady. He squeezed his eyes shut and balled up his fists in an attempt to hold back a sure-to-be-expelled stream of expletives, and wondered for the umpteenth time why he had agreed to go through with this. Then, in a quick realization that made a good portion of his head ache as well, he remembered why: Howard. He needed to move on, for the sake of his mental well being and their withering friendship. It always came back to Howard.

Tonight was definitely no exception; in fact, it came back to Howard even more so than Vince could have ever imagined. With the jingle of the overhead bell to signal her arrival, Vince opened his eyes, forced a smile, and attempted to stand upright to greet his date. But his smile instantaneously changed to a slack-jawed stare and the words seemed to get stuck in his vocal cords when he saw who it was. Mrs. Gideon.

Leroy had known about Howard's strange obsession with the head of the reptiles back in the Zooniverse days. Vince would let his jealousy of her slip out quite frequently in the midst of their drunken nights on the town, and although her name hadn't been so much as mentioned for nearly three years, neither of the friends had forgotten about her.

If Gideon's existence hadn't been so acerbically embedded into his mind, he probably wouldn't have recognized her. She definitely looked older, that was for sure. Not from wisdom- that was something she'd always seemed to have had- but from experience that made her look frailer. Despite this, her dark hair was thick, long and left down, and she wore a form-fitting black dress that, had it been on anyone else, would've left a very positive impression on Vince. But he wasn't impressed by her elegant beauty, nor was he embarrassed that he was wearing his typical Hey-Everyone-Look-At-Me! kind of outfit. He was just angered. Memories of neglect from their years at the zoo came screaming back at him full force, with the woman before him at the helm of each one. So this isn't just about getting over Howard. It's about getting back at him.

"Hello, Vince," she started with a sheepish smile, her distinctive accent doing nothing to help the memories.

Vince took the deepest breath he'd ever taken in his life, wondering if his lungs could even process all the air. "Alright, Gideon," he returned, flashing his own intended-to-be flirtatious grin. "Ready to go, then?"

Her smile widened, as if up until this point she hadn't believed that Vince would want anything to do with her. "Of course," she sighed.

Vince didn't understand. Here she was, this intelligent, sophisticated woman with panache and culture, reduced to a pile of helpless putty by four simple words. And upstairs was Howard, a man with whom she'd be much better suited, a man who hadn't inspired within her a fraction of that kind of emotion in the interim of an entire career. She was obviously more superficial than Howard had ever wanted to believe. And that, surprisingly, disgusted him. But, with acting skill that would've lit sparks of envy in every man in Hollywood, he walked to embrace her, plant a tender kiss on her cheek, and slip one arm into hers before they walked out of the shop together.

That was the very last thing that Howard had ever expected to see as he was sitting atop the roof, gazing below at the previously motionless darkness.

The plan was, since neither of them owned a vehicle nor minded doing so, for Vince & Gideon to walk to a restaurant a few blocks away. (Leroy had made the reservations.)

The mood was a tense one- for Vince, anyway. Gideon was getting too close for comfort- although in reality, she had just tightened her grip around their entwined arms- and he was feeling the impulse to yell, 'don't touch me!' At least if he'd done that, there would've been less silence. The two had absolutely nothing in common, and there was no way Gideon failed to notice. That had to have been why the first thing she'd said on their walk was intended to segue into reminiscing. "I have to be frank, Vince. I never would've expected that you would want to take me out." She sounded unsure, insecure. Very unlike herself.

"Really?" Vince asked, trying his best to sound surprised. "Why's that?"

"Well… I'd always been infatuated with you, you know," she continued, her voice very apprehensive. "But it was sort of the general consensus around the zoo that you were… well…" She turned to look at Vince, hoping he would've connected the dots and saved her from saying what she was about to. But he hadn't. "…Gay," she concluded.

"What?" This time he really was surprised.

"I can't remember much of it, honestly," Gideon said hurriedly, as if trying to console him, although this was truer than Vince could've comprehended at the time. "I can't remember much of anything… but I remember you." Her voice took an abrupt turn, almost saccharine in its obvious adoration.

"Yeah, yeah," Vince said distractedly. If words were visible, his would've been swatting hers away. "But why did you think I was… I mean, yeah, I guess I do dress like a ponce, like Howard always says, but-"

"Howard!" cried Gideon, as if that name filled some long-vacated position in her mind.

"Yeah, what about 'im?"

"Now, why does he sound so familiar?"

Oh, come on! She's still at this? "You worked with him for almost ten years, Gideon," Vince calmly replied, boiling on the inside. "Tall… very jazzy, looks like he stepped off a portal from the 70s… used to spy on you, write you well creepy poetry…" He could tell that none of this was registering with her. "Small eyes like a prawn?" he offered. This was usually the deal-breaker with people who were ignorant of Howard, but it went right over her head. Maybe this isn't just an act. Maybe she really doesn't remember him. But he had one last clue up his sparkly sleeve. "He lived with me in the keeper's hut?"

"Oh, yes, Howard, of course!" Gideon exclaimed, her recollection now crystal clear. "That's the one!"

"What do you mean, 'that's the one'?" Vince asked cautiously.

"We all kind of assumed that- now, don't get upset- but… it was a widely held belief at the zoo that you two were… you know…"

Vince wasn't upset. He wasn't anything. He was so used to people mistaking him for Howard's wife or boyfriend- or occasionally his "ugly girlfriend"- that it long lost its initial ability to make him feel a strange, beautiful sense of completion. "Oh," he simply said. "Right."

Gideon, noting his sudden monotone, asked, "Were you…?"

Vince abruptly stopped walking, causing her to brake with him. He took another deep breath, but, in a tone that revealed none of his wrenching feelings of rage, sorrow and rejection, replied, "Nah, it weren't like that. We were- are!- jus' real good friends, s'all."

"Oh!" Gideon cried, clearly relieved, as they started walking again. She pulled him even closer to her than she had before, not feeling him tense up uncomfortably. "Do you ever wish Bainbridge had kept the zoo?" she asked wistfully.

"Gideon," Vince addressed, confusedly. "Bainbridge didn't sell the place. We got shut down, remember? Too many violations, not enough money. …Or animals," he added with a heartfelt smile.

"Really?" she asked, genuinely bewildered by the news.

"You honestly don't remember?" Vince asked doubtfully. When a bemused shrug was his reply, he continued to attempt to jog her memory. "They had to put all the animals down. Naboo saved Bollo the gorilla for me, by doing some weird shamanistic magic that hid 'im… Howard tried to save Jack the fox by standing up to the officials, but he just ended up with a tranquilizer dart in the ass," Vince laughed at the memory. That was their last night at the keeper's hut, and it was spent with lots of nostalgia and emotion, naturally, but also a lot of 'Can you feel this? …How 'bout this?' on Vince's part, and equal amounts of, 'Just 'cuz I can't feel it doesn't mean you have permission to grope me!' on Howard's. Gideon's expression was blank as ever, so he continued. "Fossil got arrested, remember? He ran through the zoo naked shouting 'save the wild and furry caged people!', but it just made 'em wanna shut us down even more. And you… you tried to talk them into letting you keep one of the pythons, but…" Vince paused, suddenly emotional. Gideon had expostulated with the officials so pleadingly and passionately, but after the antics of Bob Fossil, they had no reason to take any of the employees seriously. They ignored her at first, until she'd really gotten under the skin of one of the guys. Her noble efforts to save her most beloved animal was rewarded with a sharp slap in the face and a few disparaging, sexist comments that caused the proud intellectual to shrink back in defeat. "You… surely you have to remember that, right?"

Gideon shook her head. They had stopped walking again, and pained emotion was clear in both of their eyes.

Vince sighed, realizing it was hopeless to get her to remember anything about the zoo that didn't involve her interacting with him. "Well… I wish it'd stayed open, if that answers your question," he eventually said.

She smiled weakly. "Me too, Vince. Me too. That's part of the reason I was so excited about tonight. I've missed you terribly, you know. Being around you and my reptiles every day… that was the most peace I've ever had. Then it was all put to an end, and… Vince, can I tell you something?"

"Of course," he said, his memories having filled him with a new admiration for her. "Anything."

She took a deep breath and stared intently into his eyes. "I wasn't just infatuated with you, Vince. I've been… in love."

Vince felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him. "In love?" he echoed hollowly. How could she be in love with him? "Gideon, you've gone wrong…"

"No, I mean it," she insisted.

"What about Howard?" he cried.

"Who?"

"For fuck's sake, Gideon!" Vince exclaimed, the admiration being eclipsed by aggressive frustration. "He used to worship you!"

"Vince, I would remember-"

"You don't remember anything!" He was finding it increasingly difficult to want to get back at Howard at this point. It was Gideon who'd put him in misery for years. Howard had given him nothing but good memories and friendship. "I know what love is. Love's what he had for you, what I- I mean, it's not what you've got for me! You read all these important books, you're well intelligent, Gideon, come on!"

The look on her face was one of unmitigated pain. "Vince, you can't question my feelings, okay? This is the only thing I've ever been sure of in my life; you can't just take this from me."

"How is it that you remember every little detail about me, but when it comes to Howard, you've got nothing! Huh? He was too good for you! I always thought that, always wanted to break him away from you, but I couldn't, 'cuz for some reason or another, he was dead set on you!" Shit, stop talking, Vince. This isn't supposed to happen! Where's the Sunshine Kid? His eyes hardened, the original disgust returning to them. Sunshine? It's night. There is no fucking sunshine. "Christ, Gideon, you're supposed to be an intellectual! How can you want me instead of Howard? You're just as shallow and up your own ass as everyone else in the world!"

"Vince," she started, sounding truly scared. "This isn't like you…"

"Yeah? Well, this is classic you, innit? Choosing to forget the facts an' what's important. Howard's important, alright? He's everything to me. And you… you're less than nothing." Vince couldn't believe the words were coming out of his mouth. He wasn't just being impulsive or emotional. He was being straight-up cruel. But he couldn't help himself. What was happening to him? First he blew up at Howard, now at Gideon. And they had both been simply expressing affection.

"Then… then why would you… why did you ask me out tonight?" Although the lighting wasn't at all bright outside, he could see she was blinking back tears.

"I didn't!" he cried, agitation making his voice crack yet again. "My mate Leroy set us up! I didn't even know I was goin' with you 'til you showed up in the shop!"

Gideon searched his face for any hint that he was lying, but found none. "I- I should go," she said, her tone thick with emotion.

"Yeah, now you're gettin' it!"

It wasn't watching her rush off helplessly into the night that filled Vince with discomfort. What horrified him was the fact that watching this made him smile.