Knight: I did this at 3 in the morning. Have mercy, O mighty reviewers!

M-Angel: Okay, so I'm VERY happy with the amount of reviews I have.

Knight: IT'S OVER 9 THOU... well, it's over a hundred. Nice work!

M-Angel: I'd really be happy if ya'll checked out Knight's new story too. It's called Yankee Knights. He needs reviews on it. It's begging for attention!

Knight: Well, begging is kind of a strong word, don't you think?

M-Angel: So without further a due, go ahead and read!

Knight: I mean, sure, I'd like you guys to read it and review it on its merits, and not just because you are all Angel's adoring fans, but I'm not begging… much. Enjoy!

Chapter R&R

"Illium," Shepard said, "Gotta love it."

We were just about to dock. I was looking out the observation deck. The skyscrapers all around us seemed to try and reach space. The planet itself was beautiful. The Asari always made things appear beautiful but most of the time, it wasn't. I looked over at the Commander, she wasn't wearing her armor, for once. Instead she was wearing jeans and a plain white shirt, and a pistol on her hip.

"Not fighting today?" I asked.

"No," She said. "Thought the crew could use a day of R and R," She smiled. "I know I can."

"Gonna dance with Garrus at a club?" I asked teasingly, Kasumi and Tali giggle. The Commanders face bloomed a bit of pink.

"Maybe," She stammered. "What about you?"

I turned to look at her, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, don't give me that look," She said with a smirk. "I know something is going on between you and Joker,"

My face suddenly heated up. I scratched the back of my neck.

"Okay, so I like Joker," I admitted. "He's fun to be around! And he doesn't make me nervous. I'm actually comfortable around him, even if he's joking around and saying lewd things about people half the time,"

She looked at me. I raised my hands in defense.

"Not naming names, Commander," I said with a smile.

She raised an eyebrow. "Jeff's got a wicked sense of humor," She said. "But I guess that's part of the reason why I keep him around," She said softly. "Just try not to break him. He's the best pilot in the galaxy, as long as he's in one piece,"

"He's stronger than you think, Commander," I said.

"Ann," She said. "We're off duty right now. Just call me Ann or Shepard,"

I nodded. "He's in the weight room with Jacob every night, did you know that?" She shook her head.

"He says he can bench a hundred pounds now, but that's all," She smiled. "He tried to bench more a few months back but ended up in Medbay," I laughed.

"At the time, he refused to say how he sprained both wrists and fractured two ribs."

She chuckled. "Sounds like a guy thing,"

We finally docked. Shepard got on the ships com system.

"All crewmen are ordered, from now until zero seven hundred tomorrow, to take a little R & R. Enjoy it while you can, people. You never know what tomorrow brings."

I watched as she walked away and took off with Kasumi next to me. The thief was staring at me.

"What?" I asked self-consciously, just as Gabby and Kelly caught up with us.

"You need a new wardrobe," Kasumi said firmly.

"I do no-" I began.

"Yes you do," Kelly said. "Your bod has totally changed in the four months since you first arrived."

"You've been taking gene mods, haven't you?" She asked inquisitively.

"Yes," I said carefully. "Dr. Chakwas gave 'em to me. She said they'd help coordination, endurance, and stuff like that,"

"You look different," She said. "For one, you're taller. You pants show too much ankle,"

"Another is your hair. It's longer," Gabby said. "It needs to be cut, chin length, maybe?" She asked, looking at the other two, who nodded.

"You're clothes are baggy now," Kasumi said. "You need something that shows off that hot body!"

I blushed at that.

"You have abs now girl, show 'em off!" She laughed.

"You need a tattoo that shows how badass you really are," Jack's voice came from behind me. I groaned. "Total false advertising, looking like a dork while having combat skill,"

"Trust us," Kelly said reassuringly. "When we're done, you'll be hot! And you'll have a huge boost to self-esteem. Cause let's face it, you have very little of that,"

I groaned again. It's gonna be another day of hell, I thought.

I threw another shirt over the top of the changing room.

"You're killing me, Jack!" I yelled. The shirt had been black leather, barely covering the chest area.

"Come on! I liked that one!" I heard her laughing as she walked away.

A blue silk shirt was thrown over at me.

"Try this," Kelly said.

I put it on. It was a one shoulder shirt. Ruffles at the top and the bottom of the shirt. It was silky feeling, hugging the curves that I didn't even realize I had. Yep, I haven't been watching how those mods have been affecting my body. Note to self: ask Chakwas if this weight loss is normal. Next came a knee high silk dark blue skirt which fit perfectly. I smiled. Okay. That's three outfits. Suddenly something black fell over my head. I growled, which got Jack laughing again. I changed into a black and silver tank top, with black leather shorts and knee high boots. I looked in the mirror. And gasped.

Holy... I smiled. I like.

I then got dressed in my old clothes and paid for it all.

After having gone to the tattoo parlor, which Jack had insisted on, we all walked into the salon. Jack just sat back. The asari stylist smiled at us. Gabby and Kelly, on either side of me, were all smiles.

"She needs her hair cut-" Kelly said.

"Chin length-" Gabby cheerfully interrupted.

"With highlights," Kelly finished.

The asari woman looked from the two women to me.

"What they said," I smiled at her. She just chuckled. I sat down in the chair and enjoyed myself.

Jeff looked out at the crowds of people at the bar. The Commander had somehow gotten the whole crew in. Beats sitting alone. He'd been nursing the same drink for an hour, watching everybody make fools of themselves. Entertaining, but still kind of depressing.

Shepard and Garrus were at their own table in a corner somewhere. He had Kenny next to him, going on and on about something. Zaeed was on the other side mumbling something about his gun. Man I'm bor- His train of thought abruptly crashed into flaming wreckage when he saw a woman walk in.

Chin length blond hair, dark highlights, and a figure that kicked his brain's ass. He smiled and she looked at him. A light clicked on.

Shit! I'm drooling over Serena! He looked at her again. Damn, she didn't look that good this morning!

"Hot babe!" Zaeed grunted in man-speak as he spotted her. "Hot babe, over there,"

She looked over at them and smiled.

I was looking around the bar, hoping to catch a glimpse of that baseball cap. A few seconds later, I spotted Joker by the bar. His jaw was dropped, like he had been stunned or something. Must be a hot chick somewhere. Little weirdo. I smiled at him and made my way through the crowds. As I neared him I saw Zaeed staring at me. I chuckled.

"He's drunk, ain't he?" I asked Joker, who just nodded. There was an awkward second of silence.

"What?"

He scratched the back of his neck. "You...you look nice." He mumbled.

"Why thank you, Mr. Moreau," I said with a smile. "Not too bad yourself,"

He shook his head and was about to saw something when Zaeed spoke.

"Wanna dance, sweet cheeks?"

I glared at him with narrowed eyes. Oh, if looks could kill.

"I'd rather dance with Grunt, Zaeed. Go away,"

He laughed. "But I was here first!" He leaned in. "And speakin' 'o Grunt, you wonder where they got the phrase 'hung like a Krogan from'? From my ass,"

I punched him in the throat. "I said no," He fell over. "Or did you not hear me?"

Jacob came up. "What's going on?" He asked.

"Mr. Massani is just headed back to the Normandy," I said. "He's had a bit too much to drink," Jacob chuckled. "Why am I not surprised? Come on, big man," He helped Zaeed out of the bar.

Joker whistled. "Remind me never to get on your bad side." He said, and I laughed. He handed me a beer.

"I'll drink to that," I clanked mine with his, and we took a swig.

"So you gonna dance with some of these guys?" He asked sardonically.

"Nope,"

"Why?" He asked, curiously.

"Cause the guy I want to dance with can't dance,"

He was silent. "Well, damn, that could be any of these losers… Jacob?" He guessed.

"Nope,"

Silent again. "Not Zaeed," He said. "Kenny here?"

I looked over to Kenny. He was making gooey eyes at Gabby. I shook my head. Jeff looked down for a moment.

"What's that?" He pointed to my ankle. I had opted out to using black high heel sandals. I lifted my leg, and he gawked at the image for a moment.

It said Property of The Damned Best Pilot In The Galaxy, in small print. I giggled as he looked back at me.

"Tryin' to say somethin', babe?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows. I had to laugh.

I leaned into him. "Sure am, you deaf jerk," I whispered into his ear. His eyes widened.

"Damn," He said as I grabbed his hand and led him out of the bar.

When I woke up, I saw Jeff sleeping on his back. In my bed. Naked! Oh god! Please let him remember. I sat there watching him for a moment and smiled when he woke up. His reddish brown hair was all messed up and some was over his eyes. He looks so damn cute! I thought. He then looked towards me with a smile.

"So," I began. "Anything broken?"

He chuckled. "Surprisingly... no. Not that I know of,"

I giggled and kissed his shoulder as I began to get up. It was a half hour before we had to leave Illium.

"Do you know where we're going today?" I asked.

He reached up and rubbed my back.

"No," He whispered. "Where's my hat?"

"Desk," I pointed at the desktop. He chuckled as I got out of bed and made it to my shower.

"Hate to see you go, but love watchin' you leave!" He called out, and I giggled.

This is gonna be interesting.

M-Angel: So? How was it?

Knight: Well… lots of clothes. But also the…. Er… losing… of said clothes.

M-Angel: :D

Knight: You cured Joker of his chronic virginity. So I forgive the girliness.

M-Angel: You thought there was a lemon coming, didincha!

Knight: Well. Um… What I think isn't important! What do you guys think! REVIEW!