"I'll never forget you, Lizzie… I love you, too... A-and I miss you…"

Those were the first words Felka spoke after she read her friend's letter. It took almost a week for her to finally talk, but she did, eyes full of tears as she peered into the casket in front of her, kneeled respectfully before it. She didn't want to speak, but she had to… this would be her last chance to tell her. Sure, she could visit Elizabeta's grave, but this was something that needed to be said face to face. It sounded strange, but it was true…

The second time she spoke, it was to Lithuania.

"I'm not Feliks anymore…"

Almost ten minutes had past, and she was still knelt in front of that damn box… He had asked if she needed any help, or maybe he had asked if she was okay… she couldn't really tell. The only word she had really heard in that sentence was 'Feliks,' and she knew she wasn't him anymore. Definitely not. She was a girl. The girl Elizabeta had known. She was Felka. Not Feliks. Felka. And there was a difference there. She was starting to realize that, now, though it was sort of vague. It had been hard to think lately… she had been too busy thinking about Lizzie.

….Lizzie….

Somehow, that was all it took to send her over the edge. The tears came pouring out, loud sobs escaping from between her lips, full of so many emotions as they echoed throughout the room. Guilt, shock, horror, agony… all blending together to create a mournful tune. Her forehead was pressed against the side of the casket, hands gripping the edges as she cried, feeling as though if she let go, she would be losing her grip on everything. There were so many things she wished she had told her friend, so many things she had planned on saying… but she had never gotten the chance. And now she never would. She would never get to hear her laugh again, sitting on the worn couch in her living room, mocking Prussia or simply sharing gossip. She would never see the Hungarian's bright, kind smile again, the one thing that could always make her feel hopeful, or run her fingers enviously through her gorgeous chocolaty hair. She would never get to spend another night at her house, or stay up until the sun rose talking about the stupidest things, just happy to be spending time with her best friend. She wouldn't get to do anything with her ever again… and it hurt. It hurt like someone was tearing her apart from the inside, and there wasn't a single thing she could do about it.

Their last conversation had been a fight, too… her worst fear. Even when she was little, she could never seem to let someone walk away from an argument; she was always too afraid that she would never see them again. What if they died, and the last thing she had ever said to them was something nasty? They might die not knowing how much she loved them. And that's just what had happened. Their fight had left Felka with nothing but loathing for the other woman, so badly that she had almost wanted her to die. B-but only almost…! And now… now she knew the truth. She knew why her friend had done it, and it only made her feel that much worse… Why had she been so stupid? How could she not have seen how obviously Elizabeta had been working to protect her? It should have been the other way around! She should have been protecting Lizzie! And she didn't, and now it was too late! Now, she was dead! She was dead, and it was all Felka's fault! All Felka's fault… she had killed Elizabeta! Her best friend! She had backed out of their alliance because of a simple fucking fight, and Hungary had paid the ultimate price! Why her? Why such a sweet, caring girl? Why someone who had so fucking much to give? Why not someone like Felka? At this point, she didn't even deserve to exist! Just… just why Lizzie?

"Oh, God, why did you have to take her?" the blonde bawled, hardly even conscious of the fact she was speaking aloud, "Out of all the people You could have taken, it had to have been Elizabeta? SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND!" her voice was raising, now, makeup running down her cheeks with her tears as she reached into the coffin, gripping her dead friend's hand in her own, "I loved her so much! And what in the world has she ever done to You? What has she ever done to anyone but make them happy? LOOK AT HOW MANY PEOPLE LOVE HER!"

People were staring, now, but Felka didn't notice, far too gone to even really care. It was a surprise she could even manage to form words, really, crying as hard as she was. Poor girl was hysterical…

"What kind of God would take such an amazing woman from us when she was so fucking young?" she shouted, voice steady despite the tears streaming down her face, though a soft sob managed to slip between her lips every now and again, "How could You let this happen? She had so much to love for, so many things she had never done…! And now, she'll never get to do them! She'll never fall in love, or get married, or have kids! She's never going to open her eyes again! Do you get that, God?She's never going to speak to me ever again, and it feels like my heart's been split in two! I got her apology, but I will never be able to tell her that I forgive her. I'll never be able to tell her that I'm sorry, too, or how fucking much she means to me! Does that make you happy, God? Do you get some sick, twisted pleasure out of hurting us? Do you like knowing that not a day will go by that I won't think about Lizzie, or that every day, I'm gonna regret so much not being able to tell her everything I needed to? And maybe it's selfish, but I loved her so damn much! WE ALL LOVED HER! So why couldn't she just say? SHE WAS MY EVERYTHING, GOD! EVERYTHING! So, what do you expect me to do, now? She deserved so much more than You let her have, and You know it! You fucking know it! And… and I hate You! I hate You so much! I hate you, God!" she shrieked, looking for a brief moment as though she had gone mad, "I hate You, I hate You, I hate You!"

It was only then that she noticed the people around her looking on and shock, unsure of what to make of such an outburst, and remembered that she wasn't alone. Shit… Toris was the only one in the room moving, striding back in her direction with the obvious intent to control her. He and Lizzie had always been the only two able to calm her down… And now Elizabeta was gone... She had to make this quick.

She leaned down, giving each of her friend's cheeks a tender, loving kiss, and tried to gain control of herself once more, forcing herself to speak through her sobs, "It's okay, Lizzie… i-it's all okay. I-I'm not mad at all, and I'm so, so sorry for being such a dick to you! I'm sorry out last talk was a fight, but I'm even more sorry I never got to tell you this. Please, Lizzie… wherever you are, now, just please forgive me. I-I love you, too… more than anything. B-but it's all okay, 'cause I forgive you, and I love you lots. 'Kay? I miss you like crazy, Lizzie. I miss you, I love you, I'm sorry, it's okay… please be able to hear me. Please…"

She was surprised she had gotten to say as much as she did; she had been afraid that she would completely break down, or that Liet would have taken her out of the rom the second he reached her. Thank God she had been able to say it all… she was all right with that. She just hoped that wherever Elizabeta was, she could hear her.

"Love you…" she murmured, giving the Hungarian one final kiss on the forehead, knowing that she head to go, "S-sleep well, Lizzie…. See you in Heaven, 'kay? W-wait for me, will you? I'll miss you 'til then… love you…"

Felka could hardly finish, she was crying so hard, and when she felt Toris scoop her up into his arms, it was almost a relief. She didn't argue, anyways... Rather, she buried her face into the man's chest, clinging onto him as a child would its mother, and bawled.

"L-Lizzie…"

AN: What is this, I don't even-

Anyways. Almost done, I swear. OTL But I keep on coming up with new ideas for chapters, so I can't say how many more there will be. -snorts- At least two. I hope. |D Anyways~ Review, please? ;u;? I like feeling loved. /shot. c: