Request done for OMGitsgreen.
Disclaimer: No own APH!
I'm laying off the angst for a while. I have a good idea for the next three chapters, and they're all humor.
"Stupid bastard…chigi…" Romano gathered his papers together and stuffed them into a briefcase, swearing and cussing up a storm. "How dare he…"
Perhaps that was how he missed the person sneaking up behind him—until it was too late.
Spain was sitting down, enjoying a nice cup of tea with England, when—
"SPAAAAAAAAIN!"
The voice echoed throughout the entire building, a distressed cry for help.
Spain wasn't the type of person to panic. In fact, most would call him laid back, even in the worst of times. However, Spain could easily recognize that voice, and it belonged to his favorite little Italian country, and if he was sounding that…desperate, than surely he must be in some sort of horrible pain or being chased by muggers or kidnappers or…rapists.
No one touched his Romano! No one!
"Romano!" He called, jumping up and ignoring England's protesting cry as his tea cup dropped on the floor. "I'm coming!"
Seconds after he spoke Romano wheeled into the room, tomato red and shedding copious amounts of tears. As soon as he caught sight of Spain, he let out a loud whimper and literally jumped on top of him.
"Save me, bastard! You promised!"
"Romano, I don't understand…what am I saving you from?" He was answered seconds later as rose petals began to saturate the air, covering the surfaces with a layer of smelly red snow.
"Oh, Romano…" A husky, sultry voice came from the door; Romano shivered in fear, while Spain carefully pulled the terrified Italian behind him. "Why do you run away from big brother France…?"
Three things registered to the Spaniard as France sauntered into the room, cat ears pressed on his head and a sharp, thorny rose in his hand. One: France was so undeniably sexy right now. Two: He was completely naked, save a rose that was covering his vitals and the cat ears on his head. Three: France was right now extremely horny, and he wanted Romano (Spain, of course, couldn't let that happen).
"Get away from him, France!" Spain called, sounding much braver than he felt.
"Honhonhon…you want to join in too?" France smirked, pulling the rose closer to his face in an elegant movement.
That's not the point, Spain thought, blushing. The point is that Romano doesn't want anything to do with you!
Spain was about to retort, when England glanced up from cleaning the spilled tea and spotted his arch-nemesis—wearing almost nothing, except for the rose.
"Oh, I've had it with you!" England shouted throwing the dirty rag at France's face. "Stop defiling my national flower, you frog!"
It was at that instant, in a classic Hetalia moment, America appeared out of nowhere, laughing loudly and slurping on his soda. Why? No reason.
"Dude, England, are you blind or something? That's clearly my national flower. Maybe you really are getting old!"
Coloring in anger, England pointed at the rose covering France's more mischievous parts. "Are you stupid, git? That is quite obviously the rose, or Rosa rubiginosa, my national flower!"
"Was that British or something?" America responded, earning a groan from the other countries. "I dunno, but the rose is my national flower!"
"Enough!" Germany shouted, who'd been talking with Italy in the corner, going mostly unnoticed for the whole of the conversation. "It's obvious that you two share the same national flower!"
France smirked. England blushed. America turned green. Spain began to laugh, and Romano just cowered behind him, looking terrified.
The other countries simply laughed.
Later that night, when America and England had drunk themselves into such a stupor that they were on the table singing bar songs with no clothes except a rose to cover themselves, and France was sitting next to Spain and Romano (earning little squeaks whenever he reached out to grope him), China and Japan sat by themselves, looking quite tired of the world.
"Westerners." China said finally.
Japan nodded. "Tell me about it."