Housekeeping

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Thinking

Alternate Personality Speaking

Speaking

Chapter 8: Dinner for two

Friday

I had another near miss on my way to work. As I waited for my taxi a car jumped the curb and tried to hit me. I got out of the way just in time and only got dinged on my side from the side mirror. I didn't bother calling the police and jumped in the taxi having them speed me to work. I knew I would bruise and hoped that I wouldn't bleed on my work clothes. I had to pay for new ones. I ran up the steps and into the asylum after throwing my money at the hapless driver. I took a quick shower and inspected my side. I was bruising but the cut didn't seem too deep. I didn't want to go to med wing and I did know a doctor. I hoped I would be cleaning his room today. My cart was stocked in record time and I quickly punched in and called in.

"Good Morning V here. Awaiting my room assignment."

"Morning V. Sounding chipper this morning. Please head to room 4653. Patient restrained by guards. Safe to clean."

The elevator seemed to take forever and I hurried to Jokers room. That sink would be spotless or I would be throwing more shoes. Sure enough Joker was restrained, the guards had even wrapped him in chains, and he was casually leaning against the wall playing nice.

"Morning Joker." He smiled big seeing me but it faltered as I got close.

"Limping today?" He lifted an eyebrow and looked around as if one of the guards had done it.

"Tell you about it later. Now play nice." He licked his lips and I got to work cleaning his room. I scrubbed everything down until it was spotless. His sink was clean of dye and the metal shone mirror clear. I stomped out of his cell proud of myself and dumped everything into my bin. I took clean linens into his cell and dropped them onto the mattress. The guards shoved him into his cell and locked the door once I was done. I hadn't left so much as a paper towel in his cell and I was glad for that. One of the older guards bumped against me hitting my side making me almost double over in pain. I took a moment to catch my breath before checking to make sure I wasn't bleeding on my blue shirt.

"I'll stab him for you." Joker was glaring out his peep hole staring daggers at the retreating forms of the guards.

"If you do that I won't see you again." I leaned heavily against my cart and looked over at him.

"Okay now spill the beans, I'm waiting on pins and needles over here." He didn't laugh and his tongue was flicking against his scars.

"Car almost hit me on my way to work. Dinged me with the mirror." His eyes grew dark and I knew he was thinking up ways to kill said driver.

"Show me." I had never seen him this serious as he pointed to my side.

"Joker. I'll get a second opinion later. You need to stay calm so you can get cafeteria privileges later tonight. You said we'd eat around midnight. I'm holding you to that." I gave him my meanest stare and limped off down the hall.

"V finished with room 4653 awaiting next assignment."

"V head to room 4513. Patient sedated and restrained. Safe to clean."

Finally I could get my second opinion. I would just have to be careful of Scarecrow popping out and breaking restraints. Henry wasn't waiting outside his cell, he must be off for the day, and I let myself in.

"Crane you awake?" He rolled over as I walked in. He was restrained in a jacket and had cuffs around his legs. He wasn't going anywhere.

"Morning baby." He sat up and watched me clean. Once I'd finished I dropped all the dirty towels into my cart and walked back in.

"How much medical training have you had? I know you're only psychologist but I was wondering."

"What happened?" He was fully awake now and I could see crow trying to push his way out.

"I need you to stay calm no matter what I tell you ok?"

"I'll try." His lips were in a fine tight line against his face.

"Someone tried to run me over this morning. Joker wants me to get checked out by a doctor. Thought you were the best choice."

"Show me." Crow was fully out now and I shook my head.

"Scarecrow if you break free I won't come back. I'll make sure you're never here every time I come to clean from now on." He took a deep breath and nodded. "Don't touch." I warned him before raising the left side of my shirt and he went livid seeing the bruise forming and the long scratch in my flesh. I could see him fighting with himself and he shook for a moment before speaking.

"If you don't get out now I will regret it later." Crow was struggling with his bonds the fury in his eyes apparent. I rushed out of his cell and leaned against the locked door holding my side breathing heavy. I could hear him throwing himself around his room struggling with his bonds.

"I shouldn't have said anything." I rested my head against the cool metal of the door and held back my tears. I was trusting my life to patients in an asylum. Someone could be trying to kill me just because I had talked to a certain one.

"Victoria please look at me." Cranes voice pleaded at me from behind the door. I opened the cover and looked into his icy blue eyes. "If you start feeling dizzy get to the med wing as soon as you can. Crow wants to tear this whole place apart just so he can get to you. I won't have cafeteria privileges until Saturday. If you can meet me then. Don't die on us." He quickly pulled his face away from the door and I could hear him arguing with Crow softly. I closed the cover and grabbed my radio.

"V finished with room 4513. Awaiting next assignment."

"Head to room 4212 once you're done there take a break. You won't be back on until 11. See you then."

I debated with myself if I should talk to Edward today. I would rather he find out from me then try and hurt another patient for bringing it up. I cleaned room 4212 and walked back to 4217. Edward was in, he was fixing his hair staring intently into the metal above his sink. My head grew fuzzy for a moment and I would be stopping at the med wing soon.

"Hey E." My voice was weak but he still jumped and hurled himself towards the door.

"Oh V! Here to spruce up my little abode?" His eyes met mine and the joking manner faded. "What happened?"

"Got dinged by a car before work. Someone tried to off me again." I could see his face twist in anger. His eyes glowing green as he slammed his fist against the door.

"Go to med wing now. I get to eat tonight around midnight meet me then." He was shaking with anger.

"Gonna need a bigger table then. Joker's gonna be dining with us to help keep me from dying." He was silent and I closed the cover to his door softly.

"Wish I could hug ya E. I could really use one right about now." I limped to the med wing and was checked out by a serious brunette nurse who thought that I would feel better if she continued to poke and prod at my bruising skin.

"Nothing's broken. I think. Any way I'm just gonna give you a shot of localized anesthesia to help ya out. Come back in 6 hours when it wears off and I'll poke ya again." She winked then slammed a syringe into my side making me cry out to every higher deity I knew. My vision swam for a moment before a cold feeling spread across my side. The pain was gone and so was the nurse. I gritted my teeth before finding a couch to nap on until my shift restarted.

Friday 11 PM

"V checking in awaiting assignment." I fixed my hair and stared at the angry bruise on my side. It still didn't hurt and I was glad that nothing serious was wrong.

"Evening V feel free to take a lunch after cleaning room 4779. Patient in therapy. Safe to clean."

I went down to grab my cart and load it back up. I hopped back onto the elevator and headed back up to the fourth floor. Room 4779 was covered in pictures of rabbits. They were all taped to the walls leaving almost not free space. I swept and mopped the floor before stripping the bed. There were several more rabbit pictures shoved into the sheets so I set them on the bare mattress next to the new clean linens. I scrubbed the sink and metal above it. Once I was sure it looked nice I shut the door behind me and checked for the time. It was already 11:45. I would be fashionably late meeting Joker and Edward for dinner.

"V finished with 4779. Heading to cafeteria."

"Enjoy your meal V."

I dropped my cart off and dumped the bins out. I headed back up to the cafeteria on the third floor and walked in. There weren't a lot of people mulling about so I grabbed a tray and filled it with all sorts of random foods. I swiped my name badge at the payment station and turned looking for a table. I saw Joker leaning over a tray inhaling the contents and sat down across from him.

"Can you even taste it?" He stopped eating and looked up at me.

"Glad you could join me." He smiled wiping some mashed potatoes off his chin.

"Glad you were 'good' enough to make it to dinner tonight." I sighed and opened my carton of chocolate milk and took a swig. We ate in silence until Joker froze giving a death stare to my right. I turned and saw Edward standing there with his own tray glaring daggers at Joker.

"No wonder you wanted a bigger table." He sat down next to me and I was wondering why there wasn't a guard supervising the table yet.

"Hello Edward." I took a bite of my pot pie and chewed it slowly watching the two men stare each other down. I could feel the heat from Edward's body he was that close to me. I looked around and saw no guards even paying any attention to us yet. Joker slid his tray to the left of me and made a show of standing up and strutting around the table to sit besides me. I wanted to jump from my seat. This was most defiantly not safe. Why weren't there any guards over here?

"Nigma." Joker gave him a warning glance as he sat down neither of them tried to touch me and we fell into an uneasy silence as we ate.

"Joker." Edward busied himself with eating his fruit cup. I was shaking. I didn't have a bottle of bleach to threaten either of them with.

"So tell me about this car that tried to run my sweet vixen down." Joker chugged his milk container and I swear he was undressing me with his eyes.

"Brown car, older man driving. I didn't get the license plate." I looked down wondering where my pot pie went. I hadn't eaten it already had I?

"Hmm." Joker went back to shoveling his mashed potatoes into his mouth.

"You'll be safe while you're here my little riddle queen." Edward spoke softly and looked over at me. "Are you going to eat that fruit cup?"

I lifted up my fruit cup but before I could give it to him Joker grabbed my wrist. His hands were hot and he pulled my arm over to his tray making me drop my fruit cup into his mashed potatoes. He quickly let me go and I looked down at my tray suddenly finding my creamed corn so very interesting.

"That was for me clown." Edward growled.

"Seems like its mine now." Joker opened the cup and made a show of sucking down the juice before stabbing the fruit with his spork.

"You alright V?" Edward looked down at me as I froze in my spot.

"Shots wearing off. I'll need to head back to med ward soon." My spork was shaking a bit in my hand dropping corn all over my plate. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt two sets of lips on my cheek. Edward and Joker were both kissing me. I was sure they were both glaring daggers at each other before pulling away. My face was beet red and I quickly excused myself from the table ignoring the pain in my side.

"Enjoy dinner you two." I barely managed to squeak out before dumping my tray and rushing out of the room.

I found the same bubbly nurse who stabbed me with a needle the first time. She rechecked my side before stabbing me once again. She really enjoyed shoving needles into me. I grabbed my radio and called in starting my overnight shifts. I tried to push the kiss from Joker and Edward from my mind. As long as neither of them stabbed each other it would all be okay.

Saturday 7:30 AM

I was passed out on a couch in the medical ward. My side had turned a nice shade of reddish purple during the night and stiffened up harder then a rock. Edward was right though, I slept better here then I did at home. My radio crackled to life waking me up from a nice dream about beating Joker with a shoe over his sink being dyed again.

"Morning V. Clean yourself up and head to room 4513. Patient sedated and restrained. Safe to clean."

I yawned and headed to the showers to change into some fresh clothes. I took a cold shower and once again put my hair into a ponytail. After loading up my cart and getting yet another shot in my side I limped onto the fourth floor and headed to Jonathan's room. Henry must still have been off so I peeked in before opening the door. He must still be asleep as he was facing the wall with leg cuffs on.

"Morning Jonathan." My voice practically a whisper I cleaned his room as quietly as I could. He was still out once I finished so I tipped toed to his side and kissed his cheek. He didn't move. "I eat about midnight, hope to see you there." I slipped out of his room and locked the door behind me. He still hadn't moved, his side raising and lowering in a steady rhythm showing he was deeply asleep.

"V finished cleaning room 4513 awaiting next assignment."

"Head to room 4111 patient expired strip everything." I walked slowly down the hall and sighed opening the door to 4111. The walls were covered with pictures of cats. There were so many it would take most of the morning to pull them all down. Wonderful.

Saturday 7PM

I limped to med ward for yet another shot and then passed out on a couch for a few hours. I woke up about midnight and headed to the cafeteria. They were serving pizza and I grabbed a slice of pepperoni. I had splurged on a bottle of Dr. Pepper from the vending machines in the med ward. I didn't see Jonathan anywhere so I sat down at an empty table in the corner. This pizza is frigging delicious! Oh sweet pizza god thank you for gracing me with this oh so tasty morsel. I was shoving the pizza into my mouth when a tray set itself down across from me. Looking up I saw Jonathan sit down without a word. He had the pizza too but didn't seem too interested in it.

"Don't you like pizza?" He tossed it onto my plate without meeting my eyes.

"You're not going to stab me with a spork are you? Cause if you are I'd like the chance to run away screaming first." He sighed and held his head as if it were pounding.

"They're trying out new anti-psychotic meds on me. My head feels like its about to explode." His voice was flat and his eyes had dark circles under them.

"I'm sorry." I looked down at my tray feeling horrible.

"Don't worry about it. How's your side."

"I look like road kill." I sighed and scooted back when a guard walked up and started overseeing the table. Oh now a guard shows up. Where were you last night when I was alone with Joker and Edward? I gave the guard a nasty look and he flipped me off.

"Everything alright?" I looked up to meet the icy blue stare.

"Not hardly." I looked back down at my pizza and poked it.

"Would another plushie help?" I looked up and he was sucking down his juice box.

"How are you able to send those anyways?"

"It's a secret." He grabbed his spork and pushed his green beans around.

"Well at least a plushie is better then the lace thongs Joker sent me." I heard a choking sound and Jonathan barely got his green beans down.

"He sent you what?" I could tell that he was struggling with himself and the guard put a hand up to his radio.

"Please calm down. You freak out and they'll take you away." I could see his face turning red and he took a deep breath looking as if he were falling off a tall cliff.

"You're not wearing them are you?" Crow was out but he was making an attempt at staying calm.

"I was going to burn them." I wondered what he would do if he caught me wearing them around. Wait, when would he ever see me in my underwear?

"If you ever wear them I will personally rip them off and destroy them." His eyes were blazing with dark fire and I froze with the pizza slice in my mouth. A fight broke out on the other side of the cafeteria and the guard watching us rushed over to help.

"Crow, when would you ever see me in my underwear?" He leaned forward and made a come hither motion with his hand. I looked around before leaning towards him. He kissed me roughly and I didn't stop him. After a few seconds I pulled back and sat down hoping no one saw.

"Take care of your self. Anything else happens I'm breaking us out to personally protect you." Crow licked his lips before returning to his juice box as if nothing had happened. The guards soon came and dragged him back to his cell leaving me to take both our trays to the trash.

Sunday 2:45 AM

"V head to room 4002. Hazmat guidelines in place. Patient in observation."

I made sure that I had enough gowns, gloves and booties before pushing my cart to the room and flinging open the door. I nearly vomited and slammed the door closed. There was shit everywhere. There was shit on the ceiling, on the mattress, the floor and even shit hand prints on the walls.

"V calling maintenance please respond."

"Hey V Larry here."

"Hey Larry I need help with a Hazmat 4002. Hope you have a strong stomach." I clicked my radio off and suited up. I grabbed a hair net from my emergency stash and my lilac scented mask to keep me from blowing chunks while I cleaned. I didn't open the door until Larry arrived with his cart. I just pointed and he gave me a strange look before opening the door.

"That's a lot of shit." He suited up and gave me a look from behind his protective mask. "You always call me for the good ones don't you?"

"Sorry Larry, I can't choose my rooms." He opened his big bin and rolled the shit soaked mattress into a ball and shoved it in making sure to lock the lid closed. He cleaned the ceiling and motioned me to the rest of the room.

"All yours. Have fun." He pushed his cart off and I shuddered staring at the room of my nightmares. I scrubbed it until it was spotless once more. I left clean linens on the now clean floor and double checked my work. I dumped everything into my bins and stripped my Hazmat suit off making sure not to let anything get on my skin. I locked my bin closed to try and keep the smell contained.

"V finished with room 4002. Need to dump my Hazmat material any new orders?"

"Clean up V then report to room 4653. Patient restrained and waiting for you. Armed guards standing by."

I went down to the laundry room and dumped everything into the nice smell proof red bags and shoved them down the chute with extreme prejudice. I hosed my bins out and shoved dryer sheets into the bottom to try and freshen them up. I took a long shower and slathered myself with lilac scented soap. I would not let myself be tainted by that room of horrors. I walked back to the fourth floor clean with a new cart and met the guards milling around a chained Joker.

"Hi." He looked me over and seemed more tired then anything.

"Hey yourself." I flung open his cell and then promptly beamed him in the head with my shoe.

"Oh you must really love me." He was glaring daggers at me as I slid my shoe back on.

"Keep your sink clean and I won't have to keep throwing things at you." I huffed and stormed back into his cell stripping the paint off the walls and floor. It took me twice as long as usual to clean his sink but finally it was sparkling and I could put fresh linens on his bed.

He walked into his room and took a deep breath. "Oh it smells so clean. I just can't wait to mess it all up." He grinned as the guards closed his door and walked off. One of the guards pushed me over as he left making the others chuckle as they walked into the nearest elevator. I struggled to my feet holding my side and clutched my cart as my vision blurred for a moment.

"That's it I'm gonna stab that one." He was leaning up against his door peeking out the peep hole and frowning. His tongue ran over the scars at the corner of his mouth. "So you finally gonna show me where the car hit you?" He gave me puppy dog eyes. "Pretty please?" He lifted an eyebrow and made a sexy face.

"Joker not now." I finally could stand up straight and catch my breath.

"Well if you won't show me I'll just have to break out and see for myself."

"If it will shut you up here." I lifted my shirt enough so he could see the angry bruise covering my entire side the mottled red and purple coloring my skin. It shut him up and I angrily pulled my shirt back down. "I've got to get back to work." He didn't say a word and disappeared from view. I slammed the cover closed and winced. I needed drugs, really heavy drugs.

"V checking in room 4653 done awaiting orders."

"Take a break V. Nothing on my radar yet. Check back later."

I limped back to the med ward and curled up on one of the couches in the halls. Everything hurt and I wanted to just sleep it all off.