Housekeeping
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Thinking
Alternate Personality Speaking
Speaking
Chapter 10: Copping a feel
Wednesday
"Hey V wake up, its almost time for your shift." Vicky shook me awake and my eyes shot to the far side of the room which was empty.
"Where are the guys?" I yawned and tried not to stretch.
"Back in their rooms where they belong. Now go take a shower and punch in." She pulled the IV from my arm and slapped on a pink band aid. "Oh and I took the liberty of removing your stitches while you were out. No charge." She winked at me and sauntered off.
"I need a cold shower." I mumbled to myself before staggering off to the women's showers. For a moment my mind wandered and I thought of sneaking into the patient showers but I quickly shook it off. I'm not opening that can of worms. I froze in the cold shower and dressed quickly. I clicked on my radio while I loaded my cart. My side felt so much better today.
"V checking in. Good morning."
"Well good morning V. Please report to room 4513. Armed guard standing by safe to clean." No sedation today?
I pushed my cart into the elevator and ran into Larry from maintenance. We rode upstairs and exchanged pleasant greetings. He was heading up to the fifth floor and waved at me as I hopped off on the fourth.
"Good luck V."
"Thanks Larry you too." I pushed my cart down the hall and found Henry once again at his post outside Jonathan's room.
"This your only posting Henry?" I shot him a look and he chuckled to himself.
"Someone has to keep the perverts in line. Don't worry about him I chained him up good." He let me in and I began cleaning.
"Morning sunshine." Jonathan must have just come from the showers himself. His hair was damp and he smelled strongly of soap. He had chains on his legs and his straightjacket seemed almost a size too small.
"Morning bright eyes." I finished buffing the metal above his sink and turned around to see him pouting on the bed. "What now you big baby?"
"I'm all wound up and can't do a thing about it." He sighed and arched against the bed. "Come help me out."
"Sorry I only do that in life or death situations." I made sure that Henry wasn't watching before I sexily walked over to his bed and leaned close to his cheek. "Here's one for the road though." I softly kissed his chin then walked out of his room hearing him groan.
"You're gonna be the death of me woman."
"Not soon enough." Henry slammed the door closed and made sure it was locked.
"His jacket seems too small, I don't wanna see him hurt." I dumped the dirty towels into the bins and looked back at Henry.
"Don't you worry about him miss, he'll survive." He didn't leave but just leaned back against the door crossing his arms over his chest.
"V finished with room 4513 awaiting next assignment." I sighed to myself and hoped that Jonathan wouldn't end up in the med ward again.
"V head to room 4776 patient transferred to Blackgate. Prepare for new occupancy." I pushed my cart down the hall and peeked in the room before opening the door. The room didn't look too bad so I washed the walls and floor but stopped when I stripped the linens from the bed. There was a blow up doll staring right back up at me. I put on my hazmat gloves and shoved it into my trash bin. I left clean linens on the bed and began cleaning the sink and buffing the metal to a mirror finish. I wasn't going to cart that thing around with me all day so I went down to laundry and shoved everything into a red hazmat bag and kicked it down the chute.
"V finished with room 4776 awaiting next assignment."
"Head to room 4653 V. Patient restrained and armed guard present safe to clean." I hummed to myself as I hopped back into the elevator and headed to Jokers humble abode. He only had two guards today and I lifted an eyebrow at him.
"I've been a good boy lately." He smirked and licked his scars before motioning to the two guards. "Just for my own protection of course."
"Sure Joker." I sighed and opened his door to another painted mess. I resisted the urge to beat him over the head with my mop as I saw his sink not only dyed green but caked with paint. I swore under my breath as I scrubbed his room clean until it nearly sparkled. I came back out into the hallway and both guards were unconscious on the floor bleeding from their faces. Joker was nowhere to be seen. Oh hell.
"V reporting from room 4653 guards need medical attention patient missing." I sighed and slammed my cleaning supplies down on my cart.
"We're on it V all security personnel dispatched. Head to med ward for lock down." I didn't waste any time and pushed my cart to the elevators and down to med ward. Everyone seemed to be running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Vicky ran over to me and grabbed my arm.
"Time to go V. Joker was sighted near the generators. If we lose power the asylum opens up and everyone walks out. Everyone." She pulled me to the emergency stairs and down to the parking lot. She didn't even think twice before shoving me into her car and driving away so fast that her tiles squealed. She wasn't alone, the staff were pouring out of the asylum like ants.
"Vicky take me home please." My throat was dry and I was sure that I was shaking like a leaf. She just nodded and blew through a stop sign on the way to my building. She stopped only long enough to let me out.
"Victoria, stay safe I'll call you later and let you know what happened." She drove off once I closed the door and I ran into my building and up the stairs. There were no packages waiting for me so I let myself into my apartment. I made sure to check every window and re lock my door before collapsing onto my couch. I clicked on my T.V and flipped to the news station. I was surprised to see that they were already covering the asylum on the news.
"This is Brenda Starr reporting for Gotham Tonight. In the wake of a massive takeover at Arkham Asylum this evening it is rumored that the infamous Joker has freed over one hundred patients and set them free on the streets. The Gotham PD is in a standoff with residence to try and negotiate the release of several doctors and security guards who had been trapped inside." A mug shot of Joker appeared on the screen. It seemed to leer out at me. "We'll keep you informed of any new developments. In other news we'll send you over to our popular news reporter Kelly Windsle." The picture flashed to a young woman with long blonde hair and obviously fake tits.
"Thank you Brenda and oh my do I have a treat for you!" Suddenly the camera panned over to what seemed like a hundred puppies in a fenced in area. "Its puppy bonanza in Gotham park today. The local Gotham animal shelter is hosting a massive adoption center for today only. So bring your little ones on down and find yourself a wriggling puppy to take home."
"That seems like such a good idea now." I clicked off the T.V and pulled my afghan over my head. Hundreds of potentially psychotic criminals were now wandering the streets. I should have called for more guards."Well today can't get any worse can it?" I rolled over into a ball and hid under the blanket until sleep pulled me in.
Wednesday 10:12 PM
There was a loud banging on my door and I fell off the couch in surprise. I walked over to my door and peeked through the peephole. All I saw was green, I opened my door a crack to see what it could possibly be and the door was pushed open and a bouquet of roses was shoved into my face.
"Oh my, my. I think I'm going to like it here." Edward's voice snapped my head from the roses in surprise. He was wearing a nicely trimmed green suit covered with black question marks. He had a green hat and even a cane with a golden question mark on it. He walked over to my couch and set his hat down on the edge before pulling off his coat and setting it along with his cane down onto the cushions. I closed the door behind me and was at a loss for words.
"How?" Edward looked dashing in a suit and he had cleaned up very nicely. He walked over and took the roses from me and headed off towards my kitchen.
"Better get these in some water, I want your hands free tonight." He chuckled to himself and I slowly walked into the middle of my living room to stare into the kitchen. He pulled a slurpie cup from my cabinets and filled it with water before carefully sliding the roses into it. He took a moment to adjust it then looked back up at me. "Oh don't look so surprised darling. I should have done this ages ago. Now that I've got you alone we can finally get down to business." A large smile broke across his face.
"B-Business?" I tried to remember if I had a baseball bat lying around anywhere.
"Oh yes, we need to plan our wedding. I can just see you in an emerald green dress walking down that isle. Oh is that the bedroom?" He bustled past me and into my bedroom as if he owned the place. He walked out a moment later holding my plushies and looking upset. "Oh honey buns now why would you keep these? They remind me of someone unpleasant."
"I like plushies." I pulled all three from his grip holding them tightly against me. "If Crane were here he'd…"
"Oh but he's not here is he? Now don't worry sugar plum, I'll help you forget all about that nasty two faced pansy boy." His hand stroked my cheek and he pulled my lips to his. The next thing I know I felt both of his hands on my ass and they squeezed it tightly. I wanted to scream but before I could someone began pounding on my door again.
"I'll get that." I pushed the plushies into his arms and pried myself from his grip. I ran to the door hoping to god that a cop was here to save me. I swung the door wide open and saw none other then Jonathan. He was dressed up in a suite holding a handful of daises and a bottle of wine. He was wearing glasses and that innocent sexy look drained from his face when he saw Edward holding my plushies. He pushed past me shoving the flowers and wine into my arms. I shut the door behind him and went to hide in my kitchen. I shoved the wine and the flowers into my fridge and peeked out into the living room.
"What are you doing here Nigma?" Crane looked sexy in his black suit.
"I could say the same for you bird boy. You're disturbing a very delicate moment between me and my lady. Get out before I cut you again."
"Your lady? Last time I checked she seemed to prefer my company to yours. How dare you kiss what's mine." He got right up into Edward's face staring at him eye to eye.
"No one takes my baby away." Edward swung first and his fist connected with Crane's sexy jaw with a loud crack. Suddenly they were both on the floor punching and fighting each other. Clothes were ripping and I could see flecks of blood on my newly clean floor.
"Oh now children stop ruining my floors. You've ruined the surprise for Mrs. J." Joker was standing in the middle of my apartment soaking wet and wearing nothing but my green fuzzy robe. It only went to his mid thigh and he had lazily tied it closed, leaving plenty of chest exposed. He looked up at me and made a kissing face before addressing the two men on the floor. "Now get out before I throw you out. There's only one bed here and I'm determined to break it before sunrise." He licked his lips and kicked Edward in the side pushing him away from Crane. Edward and Crane both sent me an accusing look as they stood up.
"How long has he been here?" Edward pointed at the Joker and his face was turning red.
"He was in your tub?" Crow was out and he was livid. I was speechless. There was no way in hell I was sleeping here with those three men. I wondered if there was an 1-800 number for Batman.
"I think we broke her." Edward was nursing a broken lip as he noticed that I hadn't moved or spoken in several moments.
"Oh well then I'll just tuck her into bed." Joker made a move towards me and was promptly punched in the gut by Crane. He doubled over with an 'oomph'. Next thing I knew I was in Crane's arms and he was carefully setting me onto my bed. He checked me for a fever by placing a cool hand on my head. He leaned close and brushed his lips over my ear making me shiver.
"Get some rest baby. I've got a lot of ass to kick before I join you." He took off his jacket and covered me with it. He rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and unbuttoned the top few buttons. Cracking his neck, he marched out to my living room and closed my door behind him.
I reached over to my nightstand and opened the drawer looking for my cell phone. Then I remembered that it was still in my locker at work. Oh fuck my life. I whimpered to myself and buried my head into the nearest pillow. Could I survive a jump from the fourth story without too much damage?