It's not what it seems.
Not what you think
No, I must be dreaming.
It's only in my mind,
Not real life.
No, I must be dreaming.

A wind blew across the hospital entrance and a relaxed sigh escaped a person's lips as they stepped down the stairs, a smile on their face.

Sakura looked around at the scenery that met her gaze. Trees and shrubs lined the walls of the hospital entrance, a bird sung from its secluded nest in the tree in the far right-hand corner, and in the distance, just outside the hospital gate, she saw children playing 'ninja' in the streets.

A smile crossed her face, her beryl eyes shimmering in the sunlight. It was hard to believe she had even been in the hospital when nothing had changed. Nope, it was all the same. Nothing had changed, nothing was out of place, nothing was out of the ordinary since her stay in the hospital. Just how long was she there? Even she couldn't remember. To be honest, the days in her hospital bed seemed to meld into one seemingly endless hour that she didn't even bother to keep track anymore. Time was never relevant to begin with, anyway.

Time. And she found her thoughts straying to the man who seemed to have all the time in the world. A shiver ran down her spine.

Now, she knew just what had happened to Kakashi. Tsunade tried to explain it as well as she could through her distraught voice and Sakura could only listen to a few moments at a time before she broke down again.

Idly, she wondered just how many trees died for the tissues used that night, but she shoved that thought aside for the one that had been plaguing her for so many nights. She hadn't been the only one violated that night. Kakashi had fallen to that man just as she had. He was not responsible for his actions that night. After all, how could you control what you did when someone else pulled the strings?

Beryl eyes scanned the foliage inside the gates of the hospital as a mind was plagued with worry. When she was a few days away from being released, she remembered Shizune coming in to talk to Tsunade. She had only heard snippets of the conversation. Something about 'refills' and 'sleep', but as soon as she heard her former sensei's name she looked up from her pristine white sheets to the dark-haired woman. "What about Kakashi?" she had asked.

"Oh, nothing. Just continue to rest. We don't want any problems to cause a relapse so close to your release date. I know you're getting restless"-Sakura nodded in agreement and Shizune smiled-"now, get some rest."

She went to sleep soon afterwards, but after that, whenever she asked about Kakashi, Tsunade and Shizune would just blink at her. For a second, she'd swore that she saw worry in their eyes, but she'd dismiss it as a trick of the light and they'd shake their heads and say he was fine.

Somehow, she managed to beg Tsunade enough to get a little information out of her. He wasn't in the hospital. He'd left a while ago and was getting treatment at home. This didn't surprise her, seeing how the man avoided hospitals and nurses like the plague, but a voice in her head nagged at her. Something seemed off. She didn't know why, but something about her shishou's behavior and the way Naruto and Sasuke would smile at her when she asked about him made her feel uneasy.

As she looked up at the sky, she started to wonder about his condition. Just how was he doing? Was he doing better or worse than she was? Maybe it was the same? Was he all right?

Catching herself in mid-rant, she chuckled at her behavior. Then again, she couldn't help it. She had spent the past four years making house calls for a man who would rather bleed all over his carpet than visit a doctor. That, and the fact that she worried about all her boys and the fact he fell into the category of 'her boys.'

"Sakura-chan!"

Sakura turned back, startled to see a blonde male wave at her from atop the hospital stairs. A man walked up from behind him and cuffed him over the head and Naruto scowled. "What the hell'd you do that for, teme?"

The raven-haired male simply ignored the remark and shouldered the duffel bag that held her stuff. "Ready to go?" he asked. Sakura nodded and Sasuke gave her his arm to hold as they walked as obscenities were spewed in the background, only to give way to a second of silence before a familiar 'Hey, wait up!' was heard. The two continued on their way and the obscenities continued once more, the sound of footsteps mixing with the chirping of birds and the laughter of children.

Sasuke shifted his shoulder as he tried to stop the sliding of the duffel bag with his arm. "Do you want me to carry it, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked.

"Hn." he replied and picking up the pace slightly as a way to say 'end of discussion.'

As he walked with her, Naruto strolling a little ways back on his right, he had to wonder about her. What was going through her brain? Was she doing all right? He glanced at her from the side.

"Something wrong, Sasuke-kun?" she asked.

"Hn." he replied, mentally berating himself. Not only was he worrying like a mother hen, he had gotten caught. As he felt himself flush slightly at the thought, he turned to look at his female best friend. Scanning her face for any telltale signs of distress on her face, he sighed in relief that she had none, but soon wanted to slap himself. Just because she didn't look troubled, didn't mean she wasn't. He could say that from experience.

As he felt the familiar darkness he had kept at bay for the past few years creeping back on him, he tried to keep them away with other thoughts. He looked at Sakura and wondered how she felt about the experience. When he had exposed the sharingan to her at the hospital, she'd lashed out like a frightened animal, but with the therapy she'd gotten at the hospital, did it make a difference?

Sasuke stole a glance at his pink-haired companion and wondered what it would be like after an experience like that. He closed his eyes. Just what was it like to be in that sort of situation?

He let his mind wander, using the still fresh memories of what he saw that day and put himself in her shoes. Images sailed through his mind, assaulting every one of his senses. His nerves tingled and the scent of fresh blood reached his nose, but the smell was mixed with two others. It took a second, but he realized what they were: the lingering smell of heated sex and the smell of jasmine. A cold hand gripped his heart.

Sasuke snapped his eyes open, but the world was colored in black and white. Above him, a red moon shone in the blood-red sky. His eyes darted around as his family fell at his feet. It felt like he was watching a broken reel of film. These memories seemed to skip and repeat over and over and he soon found himself in the room his mother and father were murdered in. The blade fell and one by one, they followed suit. He looked up, expecting to see a thirteen-year-old version of his older brother, but he wasn't thirteen, but twenty-three.

Sasuke stared at the image of his brother and saw his brother smirk as he raised his sword in line with Sasuke's heart. Sasuke realized his intent and tried to dash away, but his feet seemed to be rooted to the spot. He looked down and saw the skeletal hand of his mother grasping onto his leg.

She had not fared any better. An eye was missing from her right eye socket and the other one hung on only by her optical nerves. Half the skin and muscles on her face was gone; the other half remaining on her right side. Her clothes were the same ones she died in. Patches of the cloth were gone, exposing the skeletal structure that remained. A smile pulled at what was left of her lips as she gripped her son's ankle tighter. "Sasuke-kun." she sang.

Sasuke felt cold fear grip his throat and looked up to see Itachi close his eyes. When he reopened them, the familiar three tomoe stared him in the face. Itachi widened his eyes and Sasuke saw the eyes of the Mangekyou Sharingan fly towards him, Itachi not close behind. As the illusion hit his face and the eyes disappeared into wisps of smoke, he looked at the bloodlust in his brother's eyes.

"Die."

As he bit back a groan at the sensation of the cold steel burrowing into his flesh, nerves exploding in pain as blood vessels were cut and muscles were sliced open, he felt something jar his shoulder.

"Sasuke-kun? Sasuke-kun!"

Sasuke shook his head, his obsidian orbs blinking open to stare into beryl eyes. "Are you alright?" she asked.

Sasuke shook his head to clear the muddled haze around his head and gave her an 'Aa.' The answer seemed to calm her a bit and she spared him a worried glance before starting the walk to her apartment once more.

Sasuke stared at Sakura's back as he touched his fingers to the cold sweat on his forehead. A shuddering exhale left his lips and he stood there for a while to calm his nerves. He hadn't seen those memories for a while now. He forced his leg to move forward, then the other as he worked himself back into a steady pace of walking, just a few feet behind the two. Satisfied that she was under a safe watch, he turned to his own problems.

His hand was shaking badly and Sasuke could still feel the darkness cloying at him from the inside. Was this how Sakura really felt? How could she even smile like she was doing to Naruto just now? Sasuke looked closer and saw tiredness just under the surface. That smile was a lie. Just something to stop Naruto and him from worrying. Three tomoe emerged from the back of his mind and he quelled a shiver before looking at her. It was all just a front. She was really shaken by the experience.

Now that he looked, her steps weren't as confident as he remembered and she was subtly shying away from Naruto. In fact, she was shying away from every male in the road. Her body was tense and when she looked back, he caught the slight flickers of fear that crossed her face. The experience had scarred her.

The sight was enough to furrow Sasuke's brows and set a scowl in his face. The dark feeling cloyed at him from the inside and he pushed it away and wondered if she was feeling the same thing right now. As he thought about the feeling, he realized that he had felt it before. This was the same feeling he had been left with after Itachi had slaughtered their family and made him relieve the experience, but why did it feel the same?

A bitter smile painted his lips. Maybe because rape and murder were born from the same tree. They were both human actions and always left someone missing a piece of themselves. His heart reached out to Sakura. What had started out as just helping a good friend became a personal mission. The urge to get her better, to help her get past this was stronger now.

Maybe he wanted to help her in the way he never had after the massacre. Maybe he didn't want to see a reflection of himself. Maybe he selfishly just wanted to see her happy, but what was wrong with being selfish if it helped her smile again?

"No, Naruto. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" he said over the phone.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Can I hang up now, Naruto? I'm really tired."

"Oh, yeah. Bye Sakura-chan!"

She chuckled. "Bye Naruto."

Sakura set down the phone on the receiver and slumped down against the wall. She sighed tiredly. Acting like she was fine took a lot out of her, but it had worked and for that, she was glad. 'A quick shower and then bed.'

She walked down the hall of her apartment and turned to enter her bathroom. Cranking on the water, she hopped out of her clothes before entering her shower.

Hot water fell over her skin and soothed her tired muscles. Letting out a sigh as she felt the tension melt away, she reached for her shampoo and lathered it in her hair before letting it rinse away. Grabbing the bar of soap she kept there, she started to lather her body.

She smoothed the soap over her skin. She started with her left arm, slowly working up a lather as she moved up her forearm. Beads of water fell down the plane of her flat stomach and she let her head fall back into the spray of water and continued to move up her left arm.

Fingers danced up her sides, inching ever closer to her belly button and Sakura's eyes snapped open and looked around her shower. Soap, shampoo, face towel. 'It's just your imagination, Sakura. Nothing to worry about.' she told herself as she began to soap up her right arm. Slowly, she began to relax and tipped her head back into the water as she lathered up her chest. Feeling the water wash away the white suds, she tipped her head forward, away from the spray of the hot water and started to bend over for her legs when she felt fingers smoothed over her upper arms as a hot breath tickled her ear. "Sakura…"

Sakura turned her head back in alarm to see nothing there. She looked at her arms to see them bare and looked around her shower warily before shaking her head. 'Get a hold of yourself, Sakura. There's nothing here.'

She leaned forward to wash her legs when she heard the voice again. "Sakura…" Feeling the fine hairs at the back of her neck stand, she hastened her shower and quickly shut off her water and grabbed her towel from the hook. She reached for her clothes, groping for the fabric when she looked down to find none. She felt her adrenaline rush in her system when she remembered she had forgotten to bring clothes with her and went to her room, her feet padding on the wooden floorboards.

Sakura's bedroom was nothing special. From what she thought, it was the same as every other bedroom she'd seen in her life. Against the right wall was her bed, light blue sheets and white covers, a small desk piled high with medical books on the opposite wall. Next to her desk was a bookshelf, more medical books along with some scrolls spilling from the cramped storage. To the right of the bed was her closet and next to that was a dresser.

Grabbing a bra, some panties, a large white T-shirt, and a pair of light blue shorts, she got dressed and walked over to her window. Leaning against the frame, she stared up at the moon in the sky. It was full, she noted. It seemed unusually close for this time of year. It was almost like she could reach out and touch it.

Her hand reached out, stretching out of her open window and into the night air to trace the glowing edges of the moon. She sighed and heard the night song of the crickets as a breeze blew into her home, causing the white curtains to billow. Her eyelids became heavy as she was lulled by the night's lullaby when she heard it.

"No!"

Her lids snapped open, a kunai gripped in her hand as a she looked down past her balcony to the sidewalk below. A girl probably only a few younger than her laughed and spun in the streets from a male only slightly older. "No, Takeshi."

"Come on, Chinatsu. One kiss. Please?"

"Alright. You're so naughty." the girl smiled.

Sakura slowly relaxed her tense muscles, leisurely spinning the kunai on her finger. She sighed and raked a hand through her long hair tiredly. She looked out at the couple and smiled wistfully. 'To be young and in love.' she thought, smirking to herself, but her eyes trailed to the male and froze as he held up her hands to stop his girlfriend from slapping him. An image wrapped itself around her.

Her teammate smirked and held her arms above her head and uneasiness flicked past her eyes. "Kakashi?" she asked unsuredly. He answered by forcing her legs apart and smashed his lips against hers, his weight pinning her down.

She felt the food Naruto had treated her to earlier rise from her stomach into her throat. She had just only stopped it from spilling onto the white carpet of her room. Clenching and unclenching her left hand, she tried to tell herself that what she saw wasn't Kakashi's fault. 'It wasn't him that did it. It was Isao. He was the one who raped me. He just used Kakashi's body to do it. He transferred his spirit into Kakashi's body and made him do the dirty work.' she argued to herself, but her mind refused to accept it. I mean, just because she knew it wasn't him that did it, didn't mean she didn't see his body do it, and seeing is believing.

Sighing tiredly to herself, murmuring about a lack of sleep, she dropped her kunai onto her desk and crawled into bed. 'Maybe it'll be better tomorrow.'

"Sakura!"

Sakura's brows furrowed. Someone was calling her.

"Sakura!"

Someone very far away.

"Sakura! Help!"

Eyes snapped open to look at her surroundings. It was dark and the faint outlines of treetops met her view as the night sky hung overhead. Just where was she?

'Strange..' she thought when she heard the voice call her again. "Sakura!" The voice seemed farther away now.

Sakura looked around wildly in the forest that surrounded her. "Who are you? Where are you?" she shouted, her voice causing a flock of ravens to fly into the sky.

"Sakura! Help!"

Sakura turned around. The voice was closer now, but she couldn't tell where it was coming from. "Hello?"

"Sakura, help me!" the person shouted and suddenly, her legs were carrying her farther and farther into the forest. "Hello?" she shouted.

"Help me, Sakura!" the person screamed, followed out by a gurgled cry of pain. Sakura stopped and looked around. "Where are you?"

Silence.

Sakura cursed. Where was that person? Hell, where was she?

"Sakura!"

She was closer to the voice now. She ran through the forest, dead leaves and twigs snapping underfoot as she ran through the forest.

"Sakura! Don't!"

She stopped abruptly. The person had just told her to stop. Why was he telling her this? And why did he sound so familiar? She stood there, debating what to do when she heard a cry of pain and she bolted out of the dark woods.

Light fields. She was standing in a field of light colored grass. She looked behind her. The forest that was a plethora of dark greens and browns contrasted with the light greys and whites of the field in front of her. Winds rolled over the grassy hilltops and she rubbed her arms for warmth. When did it get so cold?

As she tried to keep herself warm, she stared down at the grass that hid her feet from view. Contrasting starkly in the light greys of the grass blowing at her feet was her own skin tone. She looked at her hands, flipping them over and over. It was…different. Her skin tone was still the same. Her skin was still a pale peach color and she smiled to herself at the comfort in that thought, but when did she put on this white dress? Suddenly, she felt the wind blow, but it came from the forest.

She looked behind her, back into the dark forest as her hair whipped around her face. Her hair, she noted, was still sakura pink.

The wind blew stronger and her dress tugged against her body. "Sakura…" A faint whisper seemed to carry on the wind, but the voice was sinister, evil. When she heard it, it felt like she became covered in a thick black. She rubbed her arms.

"Sakura…"

She shivered and looked forward as the wind died down. She didn't know why, but she felt compelled to go into the hills, but doubt hung thick around her and she glanced back into the forest. An eerie echo sounded in the darkness and she gulped. Turning, she looked up at the red sky before stepping forward. There was no turning back.

Grass crunched under her bare feet and she winced as she stepped on another rock. She could feel the sticky sensation of blood on the ball of her foot. How long had she been walking? She didn't know, she didn't care. She wanted to reach down and remove the small pebbles in her feet, but she couldn't stop herself from walking. It felt like if she did, something bad would happen to her. It felt like something was out there. It felt like something was watching her.

Movement appeared at the corner of her eye and she turned around, a startled gasp escaping her lips as a shadow flashed in the grass before disappearing. Something had been watching her.

She bit her lip. What the hell was she doing? Reason screamed at her to stop, to hide and think of a plan, but her feet wouldn't listen. They kept walking like something was pulling them, leading them to something, but what? She walked to the top of the hill and looked around her. It was an endless stretch of grassy hills. She could make out a few trees, but it was mostly grass. An endless field of grass, but there was a shadow on the horizon. The wind blew and she saw something flutter, the faint sound of fabric flapping in the breeze and was that…a heartbeat?

She ran forward. 'This is the person. This is the person that was calling me earlier.'

She scrambled to the top of the hill. Perched at the hilltop was a crucifix. She reached out and brushed her fingers on its surface. The wood was old, worn away; splinters pricked at the pads of her fingers. Just how long had this been here?

Her fingers brushed against fabric and she rubbed it between her finger and her thumb. It felt soft, like a well-worn shirt, but the fabric wasn't tattered. It was still relatively new, meaning whoever they belonged to was only here a few days ago, a few weeks, tops.

She walked around the wooden structure, a raven crowed on the horizontal beam, its dark eye blinking down at her as she held her arm up to help her eyes adjust to the light. She could see things better now. The cloth was a dark blue. Navy. Bandages were wrapped around their clothing and she could see small pouches. She moved her eyes further up and she could see a green vest. The person wore blue sandals like her in her genin days and their skin seemed weathered, but still soft. She touched a toe and felt the lingering sensation of warmth. They were still alive.

A groan was heard and she looked up. Their face was obscured by something. Two things actually. She couldn't see the lower part of their face and something was covering their left eye and in the light of the moon, silver hair shined.

'Silver?'

Her brain sped into overdrive as things clicked and began to fit together. The obscured lower portion of the face, the covered left eye, the silver hair. "Kakashi-sensei!"

Kakashi blinked. "Sakura?"

"Kakashi-sensei! It's me. Don't worry, I'll have you out of here in a sec." she said hurriedly as she untied the rope tying his legs to the vertical beam.

"Sakura, don't." he told her, but she pressed on and untied the ropes binding his hips and his torso to the beams. "Don't worry, sensei, I'll have you down quickly."

"Sakura, no." The rope holding his left arm to the beam was cut with a kunai from his pouch and she began on the one on his right. "Sakura. Stop." She looked up, startled by his serious tone. "You can't do this."

Her hands rested on his wrist, the frayed ends of rope tickling her hands. "Why not?"

"Sakura. You have to get out of here. You're in danger."

"I'm not leaving without you." she snapped as she began to cut the rope with renewed fervor when she felt her jaw turned and she stared into his eye. "Sakura. Don't."

She heard the small pleading note in his voice and she stopped, the last bit of rope holding him to the beam. "Why not, Kakashi?"

"Sakura, listen to me. You have to go now. Something's going to happen soon. Something bad. I need you to run. I need you to leave me here and run as far away as you can from me."

"Why?"

"Sakura. Just listen to me. I need you to do as I say."

"No."

"No?"

"No! I'm not leaving without you, Kakashi!" The last piece of rope was shorn and she felt herself knocked to the ground as he fell to the ground. Dark clouds suddenly formed in the sky and winds whipped as the grass began to recede, leaving barren earth in its wake. Lightening shot from the sky and struck the dry earth near their feet.

Kakashi looked up at her desperately. "Run, Sakura!"

"Too late."

"NO! Sakura, run before-gack" A choking sound was heard as his body began to contort and arch painfully. He reached up and pulled his mask down as blood splattered into the dirt, the dry earth drinking the red life like water, more following as coughs racked his chest.

Sakura scrambled forward. "Kakashi!" she screamed, but a bolt of electricity shot the ground and threw her body like a rag doll into the dirt.

Sakura skid to a halt, coughing at the dust that flew into her lungs. "Kakashi?" she coughed. When she heard no response, she asked again. "Kakashi?"

There, in the dirt, Kakashi lay face down, his breathing shallow as a thin trickle of blood ran from the corner of his mouth. "Kakashi!"

She crawled forward, rocks scraping her skin and digging into her flesh as she scrambled towards him. She shook his shoulder. "Kakashi?" she asked tentatively.

He turned his head weakly towards her, his breathing labored at the sheer pain that lanced through his system. He looked into her eyes and he could see the fear and concern mirrored in his own. "R-run."

Lightening shot from the heavens, spearing Kakashi's system and causing him to scream in agony as his body spasmed uncontrollably and Sakura flew from his body, the sounds of his screams echoing in her ears.

Pain shot through her as her body was thrown against a boulder. She panted, her head throbbing as she tasted a metallic tang in her mouth. She lifted her head weakly and felt her heart drop. A few feet from her, Kakashi lay face down in the dirt, his hitai-ate not too far away, a gash in the metal.

Sakura stared unbelievingly at him. He couldn't be dead. He couldn't be. Kakashi was an ex-Anbu operative. He'd gone on more A and S-ranked missions than she headed surgeries. He couldn't be dead.

"Kakashi?"

A faint rustle could be heard and she felt tears sting her eyes. "Kakashi?" The man groaned and braced his weight on his forearms as he lifted himself up and she felt relief wash over her. "Kakashi! You're alright!"

He smiled at her. "Of course, Sakura-chan." The smile died on her lips. There was something off about him. The way he said her name made her skin crawl. She felt dirty and his smile was strange too. It was…predatory.

"Kakashi?" she asked tentatively.

He smiled wider and crawled towards her, closing the gap between them. She crawled back, the rock pressing against her spine stopping her. He moved his hands, pinning hers to the rock and leaned down, his breathing hot and ragged in her ear. "Something wrong, Sakura-chan?"

The words were mocking and bells rang in her ears. Voices screamed in her ears to move away, to fight him, anything, but she couldn't move and he smiled at her once more before claiming her lips and squeezing her breast roughly.

Sakura gasped in shock and he forced his tongue into her mouth before gripping her dirt-stained dress and tearing it off her as she screamed at herself. Why wasn't she doing anything?

Tears stung her eyes and she looked away as he bit her neck, marks marring her pale skin. She felt her panties torn from her body and whimpered as he thrust three fingers into her core.

She turned away as he licked her body, praising what she now felt repulsed by. Warmth pooled in her body and she bit her lip to fight against a strangled moan as he hit brushed against a spot in her womb. She felt disgusted. Her body had betrayed her.

She felt something on her neck, a fleeting touch and looked up as he pulled away. He smiled warmly at her. "Scared?" he asked, concern in his voice. Her heart fluttered at the possibility that this madness would stop and she nodded shyly. He smirked, all trace of empathy gone from his face as he looked down at her.

"You should be."

And with that, he thrust into her and her juices splattered his stomach as her back arched, but he didn't stop. His thrusts were quick, harsh, not even slowing down to let Sakura recover, but it didn't stop the familiar coil from appearing in her stomach. As she stared up at the moon, contrasting sharply in a sky reminiscent of blood, she had to wonder what she had done to deserve this.

When he finally did stop, she was dazed and confused. The only things she was sure of were the sky overhead and that he had pulled out of her and his seed covered her stomach. She felt tired, drained of all energy. Should she even try to move? Shadows danced across her face and she heard him pull away from her. She heard the faint scratching of something. It sounded metallic. It sounded familiar, but where had she heard it before?

Sakura looked up as something reflected the light of the moon and that's when she realized there was a kunai in his hands. "No, no, no! Please, Kakashi, don't." she pleaded.

He didn't reply, merely twirled it in his hand

"Please, Kakashi, don't!" she begged.

The kunai twirled faster and a smiled tugged at his lips.

"Kakashi!"

"Goodbye, Sakura-chan." he sang cheerfully. His hands grasped the kunai handle and he held it over his head. Sakura raised her arms defensively to her face and curled up in a ball as he thrust the kunai down.

Cold metal buried itself in her warm flesh. There had been no remorse, no fond goodbye. Just a sinister smile and a crazed bloodlust in his eyes and then…darkness.

"No!"

Sakura bolted up in her bed, sweat drenching her skin as moonlight filtered in from her window, the curtains blowing gently in the breeze.

"It's just a dream, Sakura. Just a dream." she told herself as she buried a hand in her pink hair, but she closed her eyes and she saw him.

Tears stung her eyes as memories flooded her mind. "Why? Why did these things happen to me?" she asked aloud as she pulled her knees to her chest. The wind blew gently into her room and she felt frustration well up inside and she threw her pillow against the opposite wall. "Answer me!" But her room could offer her none and she began to sob into her arms. Not because she had no answer, but because she knew that she had been raped and the nightmares were only just beginning.