Belief makes things real
Makes things feel, feel alright
Belief makes things true
things like you, you and I

In the morning light of a garden, a bird flitted around the branches, hopping from one to another.

'I wonder where it's going?' Sakura thought to herself as she sat in the hospital room. It reminded her of the one she had been put into before, except this room was on the first floor and her view had changed. Instead of the tops of houses and telephone wires, she saw trees and the wall surrounding the hospital. The tops of heads, she traded for faces. Outside her window, she saw a nurse wheel Miyamoto-san outside.

She liked Miyamoto-san. He was a sweet man, recently widowed by his wife of fifty years. He had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis; he'd lost the use of his legs a few weeks ago; his arms, two days ago. It was sad to think such a kind man would die the way he would, but he didn't seem to mind. When she was his nurse, he'd simply smile and say not to worry and that with the life he lived, he wouldn't mind dying.

The nurse moved him and she could see him in front of her, separated only by a pane of glass, a wall, and ten meters of grass. Like her, he was taking in the scenery. The small bamboo fountain in the corner that stood in a sea of smooth stones, the bamboo's repetitive 'thunk' echoing in the Zen garden. There were trees there too. In her window, she could see the Trident Maple's leaves to the far left, just coming into her view if she sat just so, but she had a clear view of two different trees. On the left against the wall was a row of Japanese Maples and to her right, in the middle of the grass, was the Acer Sieboldianum. She didn't know what else to call it by, she only knew the species name.

Sakura watched as the nurse moved Miyamoto-san to another part of the greenery and she sighed at the view she had. It was a really nice view, but she wasn't satisfied with just that. She wanted to see color. She had missed the changing of the leaves last year when she was on a mission to Suna and a finger traced the trees lovingly through the glass. She closed her eyes and imagined the hospital in the fall. She could almost feel the crisp fall air on her skin and see the leaves rain gently into the garden like confetti. A knock on the door pulled her from her thoughts.

"Sakura?"

Sakura turned her head back from her chair. "Tsunade-san," she greeted and Tsunade gave her a motherly smile before closing the door. She liked those smiles. Tsunade always looked better when she smiled.

"Is he here yet?" she asked.

"No, not yet," she said with a soft smile on her face as she turned her head to the window once more. She heard Tsunade chuckle. "He always had a tendency to be late," she mused.

"Yes," Sakura agreed. She watched Tsunade place her hand on her shoulder in the window and turned back to see Tsunade looking at her tentatively. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I won't get closure if I don't. He won't either. We need to get past this," she answered and Tsunade bit her lip in worry. "But you're doing this alone. Are you sure you don't need me here?"

"We need to be alone; otherwise we won't say what we need to say. And besides…" A hand touched the reflection in the mirror. "I need to do this alone."

"But-"

"I'll be fine," Sakura reassured and Tsunade bit her lip a bit harder. She knew Sakura was capable of doing it. She had made such an improvement since she last saw her. Though she had not seen it for herself, Sasuke and Naruto kept her updated. She was laughing, she was smiling, she was giving the two of them hugs-she even started hitting Naruto again.

And she was starting to become braver. She was walking by herself to the store, she was starting to go out with Hinata for tea, she started training again, and she started to talk to her other male friends. She was taking baby steps, though. She couldn't stay too long without feeling uneasy, but she could brave a touch. She even said hi to Raidou yesterday.

She was such a strong girl. What took other people months and years, she was doing in days and weeks. She couldn't have been prouder.

The older woman smiled. "I know."

But it didn't stop the feeling of worry from churning in the pit of her stomach. She chastised herself. She should have more faith in her old apprentice. And with a small smile, Tsunade left the room and shut the door behind her.

Sakura waited until Tsunade shut the door before letting out a heavy sigh. She knew she had to do this, but with every passing second, she was becoming more and more unsure of her decision. Anxiety welled inside her and her thoughts were becoming traitorous. What if he doesn't show up? What if it happens again? Should I run? Would he notice? Would he care?

She shook her head. "I made a promise to myself that I would do this. I gave my word as a kunoichi." And she steeled herself. Placing her hands in her lap, she looked out the window and waited. She didn't have long to wait. He came only twenty minutes later.

When Kakashi woke up this morning, the sky was grey. It had been grey for a number of days. It was strange being that Fire Country was famous for its sunny weather, but he dismissed it and went to the shower.

He had made a routine for himself now. It was no different than before; it just included the addition of the pills he had to take. He was in the last round of antibiotics and his arm was doing much better from the searing pain from before. All that was left was a scar and the lingering pathogens that invaded his body, but he still had to take his other medication. Unscrewing the two bottles, he popped the three pills into his mouth and swallowed them followed by the glass of water and the lifting of his mask before he locked his door and left for the hospital.

The streets of Konoha were unusually calm. Maybe it was due to his presence or the unusual weather. Though he enjoyed the sunshine as much as the next person, he liked this weather also. It was a bit nippy, but it brought out things that people took for granted, the green of a leaf or the warmth of the sun, to name a few.

He looked around at the village around him. He knew this path well; he used it often in his escapes from the hospital. The yellow two-story townhouse with green trim belonged to an elderly widow that kept a potted plant in her window. In the second story that she rented out lived a single mother with a four-yr-old daughter and a cat. There was the o-dango shop at the corner and beside that was the residency of a former kohai that retired from Anbu.

He turned to the right. There was the bar Genma always dragged him to, the bookstore, and a few more houses, but they were older than the ones he had passed. Making a few more turns, he stood outside the entrance of his destination.

He took in the white walls and the green of the lawn that surrounded the white multi-story building. From where he stood, he could see the nurses and orderlies wheeling around the patients and how a row of Japanese maples peered over the wall. Taking a deep breath through the fabric of his mask, he stepped onto the lawn, ignoring how some of the nurses stopped to stare and how there seemed to be a strained silence around the hospital. A man was wheeled in front of him. "Hatake-san."

Kakashi blinked and looked at the man that sat in the wheelchair before him. Blankets covered his shoulder and his lap. He had snowy hair that was gradually thinning; the hands that rested in his blanketed lap were knotted and gnarled by arthritis. A pair of glasses was perched on his nose and from beneath the mountain of blankets, his slippered feet peeked out.

Ignoring the disapproving frown the man's nurse was giving her charge and the dirty look she was giving him, Kakashi bent down and smiled to the old man. Something compelled him to say hello.

"Ohayou-gozaimasu…I'm sorry, I don't believe I know your name."

"It's alright. I wouldn't expect someone as famous as you to know the name of a former grocer. My name is Miyamoto Yoshito," the man smile, his eyes closing and creases forming at the corners.

"Good morning, Miyamoto-san," Kakashi smiled.

"What brings you to the hospital? You look perfectly fine to me. Is it a check-up?"

"No," Kakashi chuckled, "just visiting someone."

Yoshito's face became worried. "Oh no, are they alright?"

"It's hard to say," Kakashi replied. He wasn't sure why he responded so readily, but he felt compelled to. 'He should be part of the interrogation squad,' he mused.

"Well, I hope your friend gets better. They should have Sakura-san see them. She used to be my nurse. She was such a sweet girl. I haven't seen her in a while. Sumiko?"

His nurse turned to face him, a sweet smile on her face. "Hm?"

"Where is Sakura-san? Is she still on her mission? I'd like to say hello," Yoshito said, not noticing the guilt that flitted over Kakashi's eyes.

"Let's go over there, Miyamoto-san," the nurse said abruptly and wheeled the man to another area of the garden, but not before shooting a dirty glare to the silver-haired man. If he was affected, he didn't show her, and walked into the hospital.

The stale air of the hospital hit Kakashi as soon as he walked inside. It contrasted starkly with the scent of the grass and flowers outside. Instead, the scent of antiseptic and bleach hung in the air and a hint of…

"Sake?" Kakashi turned his head to see Tsunade giving him a disapproving look as she leaned on a pillar in the entrance of the hospital. "You're late," she stated, face flushed slightly from the alcohol.

"Gomen," he said, bowing.

Tsunade cringed. When had he gotten so formal? She shook her head.

"Just don't do it next time. She's already waiting. Room 136."

And Kakashi nodded briefly before heading on his way.

1-3-6.

Never had such numbers struck fear into his heart like they did now.

As he stood in front of the room number 136, he felt sweat form on his brow. He hadn't wanted to come here. Naruto and Sasuke pressured him into it. 'It's for your own good.', 'Sakura-chan asked to see you', 'If not for us, for her.', they told him. Then Tsunade got into it. He could still remember the day he was called into her office.

Flashback

Steam floated up from two cups of tea and Tsunade tapped her fingers on her wooden desk before folding her manicured hands in front of her on the desk. "Do you know why I have called you here, Hatake?"

"No," he replied calmly as he stood before her desk.

"It's come to my attention that you are refusing an audience with my former apprentice."

'So that's why she called me in.'

"With all due respect, Hokage-sama, I don't think it's a wise decision," Kakashi stated.

"It doesn't really matter what you think. Sakura's requested this meeting with you for a reason. I know you haven't really spoken to her since the incident, so this would give you a good opportunity to-"

"No."

Tsunade blinked incredulously at the man before. "What?"

"No. I refuse to go."

Tsunade sighed irritably and began to rub her temples. "Look Hatake, this is hard for you. Believe me, I know," she said ignoring the skeptical look on his face and the indignant snort he gave before continuing, "But this is hard for Sakura too. I know you've suffered just as much as her, but I'm going to back her up on this decision."

"You can't make me do this, Tsunade-sama. It's-"

"Actually, I can and as much as you would like to run away from this with your tail between your legs, you will have to confront this eventually. One way or another."

"…"

A sigh left her lips and she looked out the window, a wistful look in her eyes as she spoke. "I'd like to see the two of you like before, as colleagues, as friends. I want your happiness, but I want hers also. Sakura's only asking for a moment of your time to talk. Think about it."

End flashback

He did think about it. He eventually agreed, but he was tentative about this. He'd destroyed a friendship, broken her trust in him, and devastated her to the point that she could not stand to look at him without triggering horrible memories, but she wanted to talk to him. He was a bit relieved, but it was outweighed by the guilt inside of him. It was with a heavy heart that he finally opened the door.

When Kakashi entered the room, the first thing he noticed was the view the room had and how bright it was in here, the second thing he noticed was that she had stood when he had come in.

"Ohayo…Kakashi."

"Ohayo…Sakura," he returned awkwardly. The two fidgeted where they stood, both not knowing what to say in fear of reopening wounds that were still healing. Suddenly, Sakura moved, startled by a thought, and extended an arm. "Would you…like to sit?" she asked motioning to the seat beside hers.

Kakashi gave a slight nod and walked over to the chair as Sakura sat back in hers. He pulled it back slightly and slipped in beside her. She visibly tensed and after a deep breath, she relaxed and turned to him. "Sorry about that."

"No need," he replied softly and stared out the window at the scenery, Sakura doing the same beside him. He liked the room. He didn't know why since he knew every other patient room in the hospital looked the same as this one, but this one felt special. Maybe it had to do with the view from the window.

He didn't know how long they sat like that. It could have been seconds, it could have been minutes. Then, Sakura turned towards him.

"How have you been?" she asked, the soft light outside illuminating her features as well as his own.

"I've been…alright," he said as if the word was foreign to his tongue, or maybe it was because he wasn't and it felt strange to say he was. "How about you?" he asked in return.

Sakura turned her head to the window. "I've been fine."

"Hm," he said weighing her words. "Anything else?"

"I've been talking a lot more. I'm starting to train again. Naruto got a noodle stuck up his nose yesterday."

Kakashi turned to her. "Really?"

"Yeah. Sasuke and Naruto were arguing again and Sasuke slapped Naruto into his bowl. When Naruto came out of the ramen, he had a strand dangling from his nose."

"Either he got lucky or Sasuke has good aim," Kakashi responded and Sakura chuckled slightly. "How are they?" he asked.

"Naruto is okay. Still the same, though he's starting to get a bit lonely what with Hinata going to the compound for family business," Sakura replied.

"And Sasuke?"

"Sasuke…Sasuke's the same also, but he's starting to worry about me a lot. Sometimes I wonder if this is what it would be like to have a brother."

"Aa."

Sakura nodded, more to herself than to him when she noticed something. "Miyamoto-san!"

Kakashi looked up to see the white-haired man slowly being wheeled towards the window. "Sakura-san. It's so good to see you. I heard you were hurt on your mission. Are you alright? And Hatake-san, are you done visiting your friend?"

Sakura took everything with a smile. "I'm getting better and Kakashi was visiting me."

"Oh."

Kakashi said nothing. Yoshito gave her a smile. "Well, I'm glad to see you're all right. Take care, Sakura-san. You too, Hatake-san."

And the silence returned. They made no attempt to break it, instead settling to watch as the leaves fall. It had a calming effect on Sakura, somehow. Like the reds and yellows and oranges drifting delicately to the green grass had managed to calm her in a way she hadn't thought previously.

It was nice.

"How…how do you know Miyamoto-san?" she asked suddenly.

"I…ran into him earlier. He said my name. He treated me like a hero," Kakashi replied quietly. It was like if he spoke any louder, he'd break this fragile silence between them. He fidgeted slightly, uncomfortable of the thought of disturbing something like this when he had already done so much damage.

"Your reputation precedes you." And he inwardly flinched, knowing that she had not meant for the words to spite him. She didn't understand the full brunt of the words she spoke. He ignored the pain.

"You know…" Kakashi began slowly, struggling with the words as he spoke, "Miyamoto-san, he…he asked earlier if you were still on the mission. He…he asked if you were alright."

"Oh. He did?" she asked, not really asking, but more stating it to herself, as if testing out the meaning of the words. "What did you tell him?"

"The nurse interrupted the conversation before I could answer," he replied. It was something he was thankful for. How was he to tell him that Sakura was the friend he was visiting and that he was the one who hurt her-raped her-violated her in the worst possible ways. The words of the outside world did not touch here, another thing he was thankful for. Miyamoto-san was a kind man and for such kindness, Kakashi did not wish for the man to suffer. He had hurt too many people already.

"He…he was…worried about you," Kakashi offered quietly. "He wanted to know how you were doing."

"I believe he found his answer," Sakura said with a small upturning at the corner of her lips.

Another stab at his heart. Another twist. He stood as she watched the leaves twirl and flutter in the wind before resting in the greenery. It was a picturesque setting. Irony bit at him from the inside.

He brushed the back of his pants and pulled his chair out slightly to exit more easily. He turned to his left, his pants leg brushing against her arm briefly, but it was enough to snap her spine rigidly and force a sharp intake of breath.

He walked slowly, one foot in front of the other when all he wanted to do was run from the room and claw at his skin in a desperate attempt to free the feelings of self-loathing from his body and purge the disgust he felt for himself, but the weight in his heart seemed to slow him. She stood and turned to him, clutching a porcelain hand to her chest, her white dress making her glow in the grey light.

"I forgive you, Kakashi. You do know that, right?"

Her voice was timid, hesitant like a child speaking to an older stranger.

He wanted to believe her. Truly and desperately, he did, but as much as he wanted to believe that she had forgiven him of his sin, he just couldn't believe in anything anymore.