Housekeeping

I've gotten a few reviews about the guys watching Casanova and getting ideas. I haven't seen the movie and am really struggling to even get into it. Even with the hotness of Ledger I can't seem to watch more then a few minutes at a time a day. It's coming soon so just hold on and maybe I'll just read the cliff notes and go from there. I'm really mixing things up here and not sticking to really any kind of Batman storyline. I've been addicted to playing Batman Arkham Asylum and Arkham City and wanted to throw a few guys in to spice up the plot.

Any how enjoy.

Thinking

Alternate Personality Speaking

Speaking

Chapter 19: Fleeing the Scene

I don't know how long I sat on the bottom of the closet but the noises outside had finally stopped. I slipped into Jokers discarded clothing and adjusted it the best I could to cover me. The pants were huge and I had to roll them up and tie them around my waist with what was left of his shirt. His coat hung comically off my frame and I gave up on the idea of slipping into his socks or shoes. I really wasn't that desperate. I opened the closet door and saw a trail of blood leading down the hall. Still sore I limped down the hall and peeked into the room where the blood stopped. All three guys were beat up and lying on the floor looking like hell warmed over. I couldn't take seeing them kill each other over me.

I adjusted the coat closed, seeing as I didn't have anything on under it, and took a deep breath. This was going to be hard. I started walking down the hall checking every door until I found one that led outside. I stood in the doorway and just stared for awhile. Should I stay? Should I go? I cared a lot for these men and they just kept hurting each other because of me. I hung my head and dug my nails into the door frame. I needed some time to get my head together before I jumped back into this. I walked out into the world and closed the door behind me. Surprisingly there weren't any armed guards or even Batman nearby so I walked for awhile down the street until I came to a payphone. Against my better judgment I called the only person who I thought could help me, Vicky. She picked up on the first ring then spent a full minute screaming at me at how I shouldn't have made her think I was dead and how much of a horrible person I was. Several minutes after the call her car came screeching down the street and stopped just long enough for her to get out of the car, beat me over the head with her purse and throw me in the back seat.

"V you're the worst person I know. Disappearing for so long then just out of the blue calling me for help. What the hell? And why does it look like you're wearing Jokers suit?" She drove like a woman possessed until we were back at her apartment.

"I was in a coma." At least I could say that without lying. "I woke up in a warehouse and this was the only thing I could find to wear." I jumped out of the car as she ushered me up the stairs and into her place. It was actually pretty nice, like an Ikea catalog, and everything was pretty shiny.

"Well seeing as Arkham still is out of commission until they can get it back up to health code you're going to be okay job wise." She threw her purse onto her white block type couch and walked back into her room.

"They still haven't fixed it?" I watched her walk back out with a handful of clothing that she shoved in my arms before dragging me to her bathroom.

"Well turned out that once the power went out Killer Croc and Clayface broke free and took turns eating patients and police." She shuddered and slammed the bathroom door shut leaving me to change. I slipped out of the mangled suit and spent a few moments wiping what was left of Jokers face paint off my body before I slipped into some tight blue jeans and a pink t-shirt. I was really wishing for a bra but I would take what I could get. I picked up the remnants of the suit and took one last smell of Jokers scent before dropping it into the trash bin under her sink. I wanted to keep it but I didn't want another visit from Batman if he found me with it. Even though they were criminals I loved the guys enough not to turn them in.

"Do you think they'll ever get the asylum back up and running? Having a job would help keep my mind off current events." And help me keep from running right back to them. I really miss my plushies and Cranes sexy body. I sighed to myself as Vicky tossed me a beer and motioned for me to attempt sitting on her couch.

"Oh they'll have it up and running soon enough. Batman seems to have got himself a sidekick…bird boy or something like that. They're cleaning up the psychos left and right. Hopefully they'll even catch the Joker by the end of the week." She took a swig of her beer and eyed me as if I'd grown another head.

"Bird boy? Thing's just keep getting weirder and weirder Vic." I took a sip of my beer and cringed. I hated beer.

"So how did you end up in a coma anyways? I didn't see your name on any hospital admissions." She was blunt and straight to the point. I thought quickly before she could tie me up and send me off to the police.

"Mob put a hit on me. I, uh, got hit during one of the attacks and woke up with some mob doctor on Joker's payroll patching me up." I groaned, now she would know that Joker had something to do with me and then Batman would show up. Then the grappling, the screaming and him trying to shove his tongue down my throat would start right back up again.

"Well the mob and Joker aren't on the best of terms right now. He probably had you patched up to piss them off." She shrugged and pulled her phone from her pocket. "The police should be here soon enough, I called them while you were in the bathroom."

"What?" I almost dropped my beer and eyed her windows wondering how fast I could jump through one and flee.

"V you've been missing for so long that Batman himself is the only thing keeping the police from declaring you dead."

"Why would batman not think I'm dead?"

"Because some people don't give up on the ones they care about." The gravely voice of Batman made my blood run cold and I was literally shaking as I turned to see him standing in the doorway. Batman actually used the door for once.

"You work quick." Vicky stood up and took my beer as she walked back to her kitchen. "I'll leave you two alone."

"I can't believe this." I wanted to shoot myself in the leg. I would rather be walking down the isle carrying Edward's triplets then sitting here in the same room with Batman again.

"Believe it." He sauntered over and picked me up before I could protest. "I'm going to take you somewhere safe; the mob doesn't take kindly to someone who rises from the dead." He marched me to the window and grappled to the nearest building. I was pale and shaking by the time we were on the rooftop.

"Do you really need to do the whole swinging from roof top thing? I'm scared of heights and have motion sickness, really not the best combination for this." I tried to edge away but he just pulled me against his body and dug his armored hands into my hair. I wasn't a damsel in distress and his dark knight gallivanting wasn't going to win me over.

"I saw you being kidnapped by the Joker. He took you to his warehouse." He pulled my head up to face his. I expected fury in his eyes but he looked like he wanted to snuggle instead.

"You did?" I tried to push him away but apparently in Batman lingo it meant 'kiss me you fool'. Next thing I know he's crushed his lips to mine and holding me against him like he owns me. His hands were wandering and I swear I felt him groan when he found that I had no bra to get past. I tried slapping at his armored body hoping that I might set off one of his Bat gadgets long enough to beat him over the head with it.

"If that's a new interrogation technique I would so like to get some training in." Batman pulled himself from me and I managed to get a glimpse of a man wearing a red armored top with an R on it. He had black pants and a yellow short cape tied around his shoulders. His black diamond mask covered his eyes along with a dark hood making him seem mysterious. This must have been the bird boy, I wanted to vomit.

"Robin, you're supposed to be following her trail to see who had her." Batman's voice was flat and he pushed me behind him.

"I did, it led to an empty house that looked like someone was beaten pretty badly inside." Bird boy tried to peek around Batman to glimpse me again.

"I'm going to take her to protective custody. Go patrol the scene and I'll meet up with you later." Batman really did not want this guy to be near me. Maybe if I throw myself off the side of the building they won't notice. I eyed the distance from the edge and started wondering the odds.

"Oh don't worry about that, I'll take care of it. Anyways you're being summoned." He pointed over his shoulder at the Bat signal glowing in the sky.

"Fine but we're discussing this later. Don't touch what isn't yours." Batman grabbed my arm before I could flee and carried me over to Robin before giving him a look that could melt through steel. He jumped off the side of the building and began grappling away.

"Okay now what did you do to seduce Batman?" Robin grabbed my arm and pulled me closer as if inspecting me. He seemed to only be in his early twenties and had a thin layer of stubble across his chin. I didn't like the way his eyes grazed my body and I wondered if I would be safer in a bucket of rogues then alone with him.

"I didn't do anything, he's been like this since the day I met him." Why did I leave the house again?

"Really because you seem a little shady. Once I get you to the safe house I think some interrogating is in order. A lot of interrogating" He handcuffed me quickly then threw me over his shoulder as he pulled out his own grappling gun and took off in the opposite direction of Batman. Within moments I was screaming and begging for him not to drop me. He didn't grapple as smoothly as Batman and nearly dropped me several times, laughing each time he did. He kept grabbing my ass as he 'adjusted' my weight with each grapple, I was sure that he wasn't planning on asking me twenty questions once we reached the safe house.

Just as he was grappling over a large stretch of deserted road over the narrows something whizzed by my head making me scream and nearly writhe out of his grip. He disengaged his grapple and dropped me onto a car before he hit the street. My head spun with pain as I hit the cold metal of a Volkswagen, damn thing must have been tank proof as it didn't dent at all.

"Oh lookie here it's the little Robin. Batman doesn't seem to be here to save you now little bird." My head was swimming but I managed to make out a group of eight or so men surrounding Robin. Most of them looked like beefed up street thugs carrying guns but the one who was doing all the talking looked different. He wore an expensive looking suit but it was odd, one side was pristine white and the other kind of a burned leathery black. One side of his face was charmingly handsome but the other looked red and burned. He was flipping a coin in his hand and was acting like he'd already won the battle.

"Two face. I thought you were on your way to Arkham. No matter I'll just send you right back." Robin pulled some kind of extendable staff from under his cape and prepared to take all these guys on. I wiggled off the top of the car and snuck off down on of the alleys. Those guys had guns and I wasn't sticking around for that.

I took off running, trying not to step on anything sharp, and didn't stop even after the gunfire started. I didn't know where exactly I was in the narrows or where I was going but I just didn't want to be there anymore. It was hard running with my hands cuffed behind my back but I managed and only stepped on seven drunken homeless men on my escape. I was a handcuffed woman with no shoes or weapon. The chances of me getting shot or stabbed were exceptionally high at this point. I looked around for any sign of any rogue I might know. I took care of more then a few while I was at Arkham, maybe one of them might save me? Just when I thought that I would have to flag down a masked vigilante for help I noticed an open vent on the side of a building. Not thinking twice I jumped into it and wiggled down the steel shaft until I was in a nice sized square metal vent. It was the size of a full sized bed and I could probably sleep here safely for awhile. I felt even safer with the nice green lantern left in the corner. Green lantern? I took a closer look at it and it wasn't a lantern at all, it was a glowing green question mark trophy type of thing. I squirmed until I managed to get my hands in front of me, still cuffed of course, and then picked it up. I nearly dropped it as an all too familiar voice spoke from a small speaker on the bottom.

"Oh you've finally found that one batman. That one was mere child's play compared to the others I've scattered around for you."

"Edward?" I nearly screamed at the trophy. I thought it was a recording until his voice returned much quieter then before.

"V?" He sounded confused.

"Edward please help me, I'm sorry that I left. I was kidnapped and felt up by the batman then Robin dropped me on a car and I'm handcuffed and hurt and…" I was crying like a baby. The events of the past few days slammed into me with the force of one of Batman's kicks.

"V stay right there. Papa's coming to save his baby." The trophy went silent and just glowed with a pretty green light that warmed me as I shivered in the cold metal vent.

"Please hurry." I curled up into a ball and clung to the trophy as if it could make everything all better.