Housekeeping

Thinking

Alternate Personality Speaking

Speaking

Chapter 20: I'd rather be a Rogue

I clung to the Riddler trophy for what seemed like ages until I heard a scuffling from the entrance of the ventilation shaft. I sat up and held it like a club, hopefully I could at least distract the intruder long enough to get away. I hoped. My hands were shaking as I could hear someone sliding closer and closer to me the dim green glow from the trophy making me stick out like a beacon in the darkness. I prepared to chuck the trophy as a body came into view but paused when I saw a pair of bruised green eyes staring at me in shock.

"Edward!" I dropped the trophy and launched myself at him. He barely had time to sit up before I wrapped my cuffed arms around him and kissed him as if the world was ending. He seemed shocked for all of a moment before kissing back and pushing me against the wall of the ventilation room. I could taste blood in his kisses and pulled back to see how badly he was beaten up.

"V you scared the hell out of us. And to top it all off you went and got kidnapped by Batman again along with his baby robin toy." He looked upset. Both of his eyes were bruised and he had a cut along his cheek. His lips were busted and I could see finger marks around his neck. I started crying again.

"I left because you all keep hurting each other over me." I did my best to stroke his uninjured cheek. "You always get hurt." I was so glad that he came to get me and I hadn't been found by Batman again.

"You were worried about me?" He seemed surprised and he pulled something off the cuff of his suit to unlock my handcuffs.

"I always worry about you." The cuffs opened with a soft click and I rubbed my bruised wrists as they ached horribly. Before Edward could say anything else I pulled his hat off his head and plopped it atop my own.

"That's my hat V." He made a grab for it but I pushed him away.

"Nope it's mine now." I made a grab for the trophy to take along with his hat but he pinned me down and tried to grab his hat again.

"Now V, you know that I don't go anywhere without my hat on." He smacked his hand on the metal of the vent as I squirmed to the side just in time to avoid him. I saw my chance as he put his knuckles in his mouth and kicked his leg away hoping to slide out from under him. Instead it just pulled him down on top of me until we were nose to nose. He stared down at me in surprise.

"I wanna wear your hat E." I tried to scoot out from under him but he grabbed my legs and wrapped them around his waist. He leaned down until his lips were just inches from my own.

"Oh you want to be the Riddler then? Wear trendy clothes and be a mastermind that rivals Batman himself?"

"Sure. I bet I'd look sexy in green." I smirked as he looked stunned for a moment. "Can't picture me a rogue E? Wearing some trendy sexy green outfit sauntering around hiding riddles?" His look bordered on predatory as he crashed his lips onto mine, hat forgotten in the moment.

(This time Riddles is mine so if you wanna skip you know where to go)

He kissed me as if I were the only thing keeping him alive. My hands dug into his hair and pulled him even closer. His tongue forced its way into my mouth as his hands found their way under my top; he groaned finding no bra to get in the way.

"God V, my little riddle queen." He kissed down my chin and to my shoulder, running his tongue along the bite Joker left. The feeling made me shiver; I ripped his coat off and pulled it to the side.

"I'm going to wear your coat Eddie."

"Like hell you are V." He ripped my shirt off and buried his face in my chest licking and sucking on any inch of flesh he could find. His coat forgotten I arched against him and nearly ripped the tie from his neck. His mouth was hot and soft at the same time. I pulled him back up to kiss me as I ripped his shirt clean off, buttons flying in all directions.

"Why do you wear so many clothes E?" I flipped him onto his back and pulled his shirt off. He had so many bruises and cuts along his torso. The question mark shaped scar seemed to catch the dim light from the trophy and I leaned down and ran my tongue along it. His breath hitched and he ripped the hat from my head to dig his fingers into my hair. I traced the scar several times as I fumbled with his belt and ripped it off as he popped the button on my pants.

"I would wear nothing if it pleased you V." He flipped me back over and in one motion had my pants off and his leg in between mine. His mouth was on me again and I ripped his pants open struggling to get them down. He actually chuckled as he squirmed out of his pants, making sure that he ground against me as much as he could. I heard a dull thud as he kicked his shoes off and the rustle of fabric as his pants joined them. He kissed down my body again making sure to leave some bites of his own on my hips before sliding the thong down and kissing every inch of skin exposed.

"Oh Eddie." My mind went blank as he dove between my thighs as if he were a kid in a candy store. His hands left my body for a moment but his mouth remained his teeth and tongue driving me wild. I was so close when he pulled away and dove to my mouth to kiss me again. Before I could protest he slid himself against me making me gasp and wrap my legs around his waist. I pulled him to me for another kiss as he drove himself deep sending me over the edge.

"Already V? Was this Riddler too much for you?" He smirked and began thrusting into me with seemingly no pattern at all. I was clinging to him as he drove me higher and higher. I kissed down his chin and left a bite of my own along his shoulder. He grabbed my hips and drove into them as hard and deep as he could making me groan and hold onto him as if he were slamming me apart. The room was steaming up from the heat of our bodies and I was sure he was nearly deaf from my moaning. He did a little twist with his hips with one of his deeper thrusts sending me off into space as I came.

"Oh fuck Eddie!" My nails raked down his back and I was still seeing stars as he moaned and joined me in orbit.

(Okay now I need a shower)

We were both panting for breath as we came down and I placed soft kisses along his chin. He stroked my hips softly before pulling my lips to his own with another deep kiss. I was exhausted and could hardly feel any part of my body anymore. He just gave me his sexy bad boy smirk before kissing me again while sliding from my body.

"Still want to be a rogue little V?" He found his hat and before he could slide it onto his head I grabbed for it and managed to snag it and set it atop my own.

"Yep. I told you I'd look stunning in green. I think you'll be out of a job E." He pulled me up against him and stole my breath with another kiss before sliding his coat over my arms and buttoning it closed.

"That you do my little riddle queen, that you do." I watched him squirm back into his clothing from my glazed little world. I sat there in nothing but his coat and top hat while he held his broken shirt staring in wonder as not a single button remained.

"You were wearing too many clothes." I smirked and he slid the broken garment on his body before redoing his tie. He slunk over to me and snatched the hat from my head, kissing me breathless once again.

"My hat V." He started to lead me out of the vent but I pointed back at the trophy glowing in the corner.

"Can I at least have that one E? Its so pretty and green and shiny." My eyes were getting harder and harder to keep open and I wanted to just curl up on a cozy bed and snuggle the hell out of whatever was closest.

"I'll get you another V. We probably should go; you're not exactly subtle when you're enjoying yourself." He smirked and pushed me out the vent, making sure to get himself a good view in the process. I slid out into the darkened world staring at the white van idling near the alley. Edward slipped out behind me and wrapped an arm around my waist.

"I couldn't bring the green car, too many eyes in the neighborhood." He whispered in my ear and led me to the van. Once we were both inside I curled up on his lap and took his hat yet again from his head.

"My hat E." I nuzzled against his chest and started to drift off.

"Of course it is V." He looked up at the driver. "I believe that there's someone waiting for us. Lets hurry shall we?"

"Oh the priest?" The goon driving seemed confused before pulling a map from the visor.

"What priest?" I looked up at Eddie's smug face but he just stroked my chin and covered my ears for a moment. His heart was loud against my ear but it lulled me into sleep. I was sure that he couldn't do anything if I wasn't awake and able to agree for myself. Plus I trusted him what was the worst he could do?

I was awoken from my nice nap by a pair of hands shaking me and I looked around confused trying to figure out where I was. I didn't recognize the room I was in but Edward was holding onto my hands and grinning wolfishly.

"Aren't you going to answer the question?" He pouted a little at me. "Aren't you?"

"Oh sure." I looked around to see who had asked the question and was met by a tired looking priest holding a bible. I was sure that the color drained from my face but before I could open my mouth to say anything else he slammed the bible closed and addressed us both.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride." The priest looked on waiting for the kiss so he could leave. I looked over to Edward with shock on my face but before I could slap him or run screaming from the church he pulled my lips to his and kissed me enough to make the priest blush. He excused himself and exited through a small door on the side of the room. I pulled away from Edward and slapped him. I noticed a glint on my left hand and saw that I had a simple white gold band with a green stone in the center surrounded by diamonds. I also wasn't in his coat anymore I was in a strapless green bridal dress with question marks stitched all over it.

"Don't look so surprised V. You could have always said no." He grinned wolfishly at me again.

"I didn't know we were in the middle of a marriage ceremony!" I turned to flee and saw several goons sitting in chairs behind us; some were even crying and wiping their eyes with little green handkerchiefs. Each goon was wearing green and had question marks somewhere on their outfits. I looked back at Edward but he didn't look as though he knew what he did wrong.

"I thought you wanted this V." He gave me a pout before pulling me against him. He had cleaned up and smiled at me in a way that made me melt a little inside.

"You had me marry you while I was unconscious. That doesn't seem exactly legal…or binding." I pulled his hat from his head and shook it at him.

"Oh V you signed everything so it is exactly legal and binding. My little riddle queen." He picked me up bridal style and carried me out of the room as the goons stood up and started chucking handfuls of rice at us. I squirmed around in his grasp as he took me outside to a green limo idling in the drive. It was decorated with 'Just Married' painted on most of the windows and had a line of batman dolls tied to drag behind the car. Many of them were tied with little nooses.

"How long have you had this planned Edward?" Where the hell did you get a green limo and time to plan all this? He slid into the back of the limo and held me on his lap, a bottle of champagne was already open and waiting and two glasses stood half full on a small table inside.

"Oh I had this lined up and in waiting from the first day you came to clean my room." He smirked and took a sip of the champagne before handing me a glass and intertwining my arms. "Now lets go enjoy our honeymoon…Mrs. Nigma."

"Oh god Edward what have you done?" He lifted the champagne to my lips and we both took a swig before the limo started moving.

"Oh I've got myself the prize V. Now lets go celebrate our new lives together, before anyone unpleasant decides to show up." He held onto me as the limo stopped for a light but the doors on either side opened up and two very bloody and pissed off men stepped inside before slamming the doors shut.

"Well isn't this a pretty picture." Joker reclined on the seat across from us, his arms crossed and a scowl on his futures. He was wearing another one of his suits but it seemed singed on the edges. The smell of gasoline permeated the limo and made my eyes water.

"Stealing from us now Edward. Oh you shall taste so much fear." Jonathan was wearing a black suit and had his glasses were broken and sitting askew on his face. One sleeve was torn and I could see what looked like a gunshot wound bleeding freely. His lip was busted and I could see blood on his teeth while he spoke.

"Sorry to ruin all your fun boys, but you're a little late for the reception." Edward sipped his champagne and pushed a button on the side near the bottle, two barrels lowered from the ceiling and pointed at the duo. "Now how are you going to steal away my bride if you're dead?"

"She's not your bride Nigma." Crow was seething and I wanted to crawl onto his lap and hide. Edwards arm was like steel holding me to him so I couldn't leap to his arms.

"Oh but she is. Signed the paper and everything." He sat there smug before both Joker and Crane pulled slips of paper from their jackets and held them out for him to see.

"You see Eddie," Joker licked his scars and smirked. "The last time our little V was passed out we all took our turns having her sign these legally binding documents."

"That's impossible! V is mine you're papers are worth nothing!" He threw the glass of champagne at Joker who caught it and took a swig.

"Actually it was quite easy. No one would dare dispute them." Jonathan was back out and my head was swimming.

"Wait a damn second!" All three men were staring at me now. "When the hell did I sign three marriage certificates?" I was seeing red and that bottle of bubbly was looking like a good weapon right about now.

"Remember when you were passed out in the med ward of Arkham and all three of us were chained up in your little room?" Joker's smile was a mile wide.

"Yea." I eyed him warily.

"We weren't as restrained as everyone thought." He grinned before finishing off the glass of champagne and waving it in Edward's direction. "Another glass for the new husband?"

My head was hurting and I felt like strangling everyone in the back of the limo, maybe even the driver. I grabbed the bottle of champagne but before I could lunge off Edwards lap and start my killing spree Jonathan grabbed it from me and took a big swig.

"Relax V, after all we're all on our honeymoon now." He grinned refilled Joker's glass before leaning forward to fill Edwards.

"This is insane." My voice sounded soft and I felt like curling up and hiding somewhere.

"Aren't we all?" Joker just smiled before relaxing in the seat and sipping more of the bubbly champagne.