Housekeeping

Disclaimer: I still own nothing. And until someone complains I'm throwing in more POV cams. This chapter is due to my addiction to MR. Pibb and oh so sexy rogues. Enjoy!

Thinking

Sexy Scarecrow Voice

Speaking

Chapter 22: Things are getting creepy

V Cam

I woke up on Jokers bed and thankfully it was absent of Joker. I still felt a cold chill wrapped around my body so I got up and stumbled to the bathroom, a hot shower would help me calm down. Rubbing my arms I started the water and shut the door behind me. I stripped and climbed into the bliss of warm water. I used Jokers shampoo and it burned like hell but I just assumed that it was specially made for his hair. I started to wash my body when that cold chill surrounded my body again. I turned the heat up on the water but it still remained. I shivered and looked around for a draft, which was weird seeing as the bathroom was steaming from the heat.

"This is getting kinda creepy." I went back to scrubbing my body and the chill grew stronger around my chest and hips. It was almost like someone was holding me but I shook it off. I was alone in here and probably getting paranoid. It wasn't until the chill started drifting lower that I finally snapped. "Oh my god! Stop touching me and get the hell out!" I threw the washcloth at the open air behind me and suddenly the shower almost seemed too hot. I peeked out of the shower and looked around. Maybe I was going crazy.

Scarecrow Cam

She finally stopped crying and got a full nights rest. I could almost feel her relaxing against me as she slept. I imagined curling up with her upon the bodies of our fallen victims and my tongue licked my ragged lips. I was lost in thought when I felt her shift and pull herself out of the bed. She was going to take a shower. Oh I loved it when she bathed, all the soap and silky pale skin. I wanted to jump into Jonathan's body and break down the door. Instead I followed her into the bathroom and watched her strip for me. I would never tire of that, each layer of shed clothing made me creep ever closer to her.

She washed her hair with the infernal clowns shampoo and I frowned seeing the results. This just wouldn't do. I climbed into the shower with her and wrapped once more around her body and that's when things started to get…weird.

She shivered in my embrace and I could feel the goosebumps on her flesh. She even turned the water heat up as if it would help her. I rested my arms around her chest and hips and pressed up against her back. Could she feel me? She went back to bathing and I almost brushed it off as a coincidence until my hand drifted lower. I wanted to feel her again and she froze just before my hand could get to its goal.

"Oh my god! Stop touching me and get the hell out!" She jumped around and threw her cleaning cloth at me. My mouth opened in shock. No one talks to the Scarecrow like that. I wanted to punish her before it dawned on me. She had felt my touch. Judging by the way her eyes were darting around she couldn't see me though, this was getting interesting. I needed to get a second opinion on the matter and I left her to bathe in peace.

Edward Cam

I awoke sometime during the night in my own pool of blood. I groaned and pulled myself into a sitting position. These clothes were ruined; I wanted to keep them as a memento of my marriage to V. I smiled to myself at the thought, she was now and forever Mrs. Victoria Nigma. I would just have to get the other two men out of her life and we could focus on starting a family, oh how I was looking forward to that. Joker's door was still closed and I didn't see any signs of forced entry so I was hoping that he hadn't returned yet. Oh my poor V.

The room was spinning as I made my way to my feet, grabbing my cane I steadied myself and limped to my room. I couldn't let V see me like this, she would cry. Wincing as I probed the wound it didn't seem too severe. I needed a shower and a fresh set of clothing. Then I would start planning on how to woo back my dear wife's heart and bring her back to the safety of my bed.

"Oh my god! Stop touching me and get the hell out!" V's screams woke me from my sleep and I sat up quickly. My vision spun but my V needed me! I quickly slipped on a pair of boxers and grabbed my cane. I would break down the damn door if I needed to, Joker must be molesting my baby. I couldn't have that! Oh no Joker would suffer.

Jonathan Cam

Oh the sweet peace of an uninterrupted sleep. I couldn't remember the last time I woke up feeling so refreshed. Usually Scarecrow kept me up most of the night whispering in my ear. Wait. Where was that bag of straw anyways? He usually never stays away from me this long, could I be slipping back into sanity?

"Oh my god! Stop touching me and leave me the hell alone!" V's scream tore me from my bed. The pain from my wound was pushed to the back of my mind as I rushed to my door. Just before I could fling it open and rush to my woman's aide a familiar voice pulled me back.

"Oh relax Johnnie boy, she was screaming at me." My head snapped to the left to see the dark form of Scarecrow leaning against my desk. His straw hat was tipped down to cover his face.

"What did you do?" If he so much as bent a hair on her head I would find a way to hurt him. But then his words sank in, she was screaming at him. At him, as if he were a physical body.

"She can feel me Johnnie. How does that make you feel?" His mouth broke into a ragged grin and I was speechless. He could touch my V? That shouldn't be possible; he was part of my psyche, my sick and twisted little mind. The thought of him jumping to her sent chills up my spine, what would he do to her?

"Stay away from her Scarecrow." My words held venom but he just laughed and looked up at me with his empty eyes. He opened his mouth to speak and a crow flew out. Not again, not yet. I needed to get to V she needed me not him.

"Time for a shift Johnnie boy. I'm driving." His laugh chilled my bones and he jumped into my flesh like a well worn glove. I could accept him as part of myself but when it came to V all bets were off.

Back to V cam

Even after washing out that shampoo my scalp was tingling. I got out of the shower and wrapped a big fluffy towel around my body. I heard a frantic pounding on the door and I wondered what was wrong. Before I could rush to see what was going on I caught my reflection in the mirror. I nearly fainted, my red hair was gone. Every bit of red hair was gone and replaced with Joker Green. My jaw dropped and I tugged a bit at my hair in shock.

"Oh god no. Please tell me I slipped back into a coma and am dreaming all this." I pinched myself and winced at the pain. I was awake and I didn't know how long my hair would stay like this. My eyes were tearing up from anger and I hurried to pull the dresser from the door. Before I could unlock the door, the locks clicked open by themselves and a frantic Edward burst into the room wearing nothing but his boxers.

"Where is he?" He was brandishing his cane and froze when he saw me. "Oh god V. What did that monster do to you?" He took a stand of my damp hair and rolled it in his fingers. I saw his gaze harden as he looked towards the bathroom as if expecting Joker to waltz out at any moment.

"He's not here Edward. I freaked out in the shower, there was no one there." I frowned still wondering where that cold feeling had come from. "I used some of Joker's shampoo; I really hope this isn't permanent." His hands were rubbing my arms and I relaxed a little, I missed his touch.

"Oh my poor little V. I should have known that, that cad would leave such a dastardly trick behind to try and mark you. But not to worry for green is my color." He pulled me into his arms and I held him. I still hoped that this wasn't permanent and I would get my red hair back soon.

"Just don't start drawing question marks on my body and I think I'll be okay." He was so warm and smelled like something sexy. I couldn't stay mad at him and I sighed nuzzling against his neck. Edward was so adorable.

"Oh I can't promise that V but I will try to restrain myself." I heard the smirk in his voice as his hands crept from my back down towards my ass.

"You know I really wanna get back at Joker for this." I smirked as a plan popped into my head, it involved a giant hammer and some explosives.

"Oh and how would you like me to hurt him my love?" I saw Edwards eyes light up as he slid his can around me to pull me closer to his body. "Oh I do have an idea." His grin grew and he pushed me back towards Jokers bed. Just as he pushed me down onto the bed and crawled atop of me a growl came from the door.

"Get off our woman Riddles." Jonathan was standing there and I could see Scarecrow seething behind his eyes.

"I'm a little busy here." Edward narrowed his eyes and one of his hands tightened around his cane. I moved to sit up and the towel popped open exposing my chest to the world.

"That wasn't a suggestion Edward." His eyes dropped to my chest and I heard him groan. He didn't seem surprised that my hair was green and I wondered if he had anything to do with it.

"Notice anything odd Jonathan?" I wanted to pull my towel closed but Edward had shoved his face in my cleavage and was nuzzling around like a hungry baby. My whole body felt like it was blushing.

"Well for starters you don't have the right man atop of you." He strode into the room and grabbed Edward by the hair pulling him from my chest.

"Let go bird boy. This is my wife and I can do what I please with her!" Edward swung around and smacked Jonathan upside the head with his cane. He seemed pleased to have actually hit him. I moved to grab my towel but before I could roll out of the way Jonathan had jumped on top of Edward and they were wrestling over top of me.

"Ahh be careful!" I squirmed out of the way of Edwards cane and tried to pry them apart.

"I'll end you riddle boy." Scarecrow was baring his teeth and actually bit Edward on the arm as he dodged a punch.

"Gah I need a rabies shot now you, you rabid beast. I shall never let you have my bride! Never!" Edward struggled and I was flung onto my stomach with him on my back. I tried to pull myself away but they were now grappling over me. Jonathan's waist was in my face and Edward was pressed against my back.

"Guys stop don't hurt me!" I squealed and they both froze and looked down as if noticing me for the first time. I looked up and glared at both of them but they both just smirked. "Guys?"

"Oh my dear V I think we can have some fun after all." Edward pulled me up so my back was against his chest.

"We would never hurt our V." Scarecrow pulled my towel away and I squirmed in Edwards grip.

(Ok prepare for some sleep deprived fun…or skip it if you're a prudish pat)

"Guys?" I looked from Edward to Jonathan and it seemed like they had changed plans from fighting to something else entirely.

"Oh don't worry my love we'll be gentle." Edward pulled my hair from my neck and began kissing along the exposed flesh making me shiver.

"We do need to work on our sharing." Jonathan's lips crashed against my own and his hands wandered my body. I was fighting a losing battle with the urge to fight with both sets of rogue's hands wandering my flesh. I felt Jonathan pull me back until he was reclining on the bed and Edward leaned more onto my back, spreading my legs with his.

I was in a battle with Jonathan's tongue and I wrapped one of my arms around his shoulder to fist my hand into his hair. Edward's hands were driving me crazy as they dipped lower and lower. I accidentally bit Jonathan's lip as Edwards fingers slipped into me and I whimpered. Jonathan's hands pulled me against him and his bloody kisses became more insistent. His free hand slid mine down his chest to the bulge in the front of his boxers.

I started stroking Jonathan in time with Edward's fingers in me. This was a new experience for me and I trusted both these men. I heard a rustle of fabric behind me before Edward plunged his full length into me with a groan.

"Oh god V. Mine all mine." His fingers dug into my hips as he kissed along my back. I moaned as he started pumping in and out of me and I stroked Jonathan with more vigor.

"Just like that V, oh yes just like that." I started kissing down Jonathan's chest still stroking him through his boxers. I wanted more. I pulled him free and started licking him like a popsicle and he cried out, digging his hands into my hair and thrusting against my face. I took the hint and shoved his length in my mouth using my tongue to make his eyes roll back into his head.

Edward's pace quickened and hit a spot in me that made me moan loud against Jonathan's length. He forced my head down onto the full length of him as his body shook.

"V we're gonna…" He came in my mouth and I took it all in. As I was licking him clean Edward hit that spot again and I came so hard I was shaking.

"V oh god Daddies gonna blow." He pounded me hard and deep as he came before lightly biting my shoulder. "Oh V I love you."

"Time to switch." Jonathan flipped Edward off my back and took his place. Edward pulled me into a kiss before I could protest. He was kissing me breathless I almost forgot about Jonathan until he pulled me back onto his length. "Oh this is ours."

"Don't get too comfortable bird boy, that's riddle property." Edward glared at Jonathan and I slid down his body and took him in my mouth before they could start fighting again. Edward's eyes rolled back into his head and Jonathan began thrusting as if he were trying to brand me inside. I used my tongue and hands on Edward as Jonathan ground out a heavy pace inside me. All too soon we all came and I collapsed onto Edward's lap.

(Ok go take a shower or three)

Edward pulled me up to rest my head on his shoulder as Jonathan collapsed onto my back. We resembled a sandwich at this point and I was sure none of us could move. My hips were sore and I was sure that Jonathan's nails had broken my skin and made me bleed. My body was humming and my brains nearly melted with the experience. I could feel both their hearts thrumming inside their chests and I wrapped my arms around Edward.

"She's still ours you know. This changes nothing Riddles." I wondered if Jonathan had gotten anything out of this or if Scarecrow had taken it all for himself. I nuzzled against Edwards chest and he groaned before stroking my hair.

"She's my wife bird boy and future mother to my children." Edward sounded drowsy and I saw he could barely keep his eyes open. I was so tired that I started drifting off myself. I felt a shift as Scarecrow slipped off my back and to the other side of me. I was snuggled in between two very sweaty and satisfied men. Just before I finally was consumed by sleep I felt Jonathan's arms wrap around my waist and his face nuzzle into my back.

Joker Cam

I hope the little Mrs appreciates this gesture. I couldn't find anything to blow up as the bat and his little bird toy were out like ants on a picnic. I hid in the library for awhile and held a few hostages with nothing but a pencil. Oh how I love that disappearing pencil trick. While one of the pitiful fools was begging for his life he dropped a book on how to woo the woman of your dreams. It scuffed my shoe so I spent a full ten minutes giving him the 'do you wanna know how I got these scars?' speech and left him bleeding and dead. Not a drop of blood on my suit either, I'm that good. I leafed through the book he dropped and wondered if women actually fell for these kinds of things.

I naturally couldn't leave any witnesses knowing that I actually read a book, let alone one on how to woo a woman. Oh the fun I had, with the screaming and the blood. It made me giggle inside. Slipping said book into my vest for safe keeping I stopped by a florists shop and broke in. I wasn't sure what Mrs. J liked so I picked a bit of everything. I even took a few boxes of those expensive chocolates they keep behind the counter. I had better as hell get some tail for this. Maybe I could tie her up and…well I'd get to that part later.

Stealing a taxi was the easy part, getting home without the bat noticing something's wrong…well that's a whole other can of beans. I picked up a few poor souls looking for a ride and well they got the ride of their lives. At least until I shoved them in the trunk and let the car coast into the river. I strutted home with my flowers and candy and a few sweet words that were sure as hell bound to drop some panties. Maybe I should have gotten some edible ones on the way back? Too late for that now.

It was too quiet when I finally got home and I didn't like it. Not. One. Bit. The door to my room was open and I cautiously crept to it. Had my woman been stolen by the batman again? Were Riddles and Straw Boy back in Arkham? My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I saw the scene splayed out on my bed in all its naked glory. Mrs. J had dyed her hair green for me! It must have been too much for the others and they had taken turns with my woman.

"Oh I'm going to do some stabbing tonight." I threw the flowers and candy on the floor and glared at the two men who took liberties with my wife. They even had the nerve to do it on my bed. Oh once they were gone it would be time to punish Mrs. J. Even if she had dyed her hair just for me there would be hell to pay. I would make damn sure that she wouldn't be able to walk for a week. Maybe even two.