Housekeeping

Thoughts

Sexy Scarecrow Voice

Speaking

This chapter was brought to you by the awesomeness of all my reviewers. And to you Scrambled-Dry I would love to see what you can do with a ghostly Scarecrow. Go for it, I'd love to read it.

Chapter 24: That Awkward Morning After

It took forever to scrub all the tar like substance off and out of me. I shuddered pulling straw out of places that it had no godly right to be. I looked down at my chest and I had a bruise like mark from where Scarecrow had shoved his tarry straw into me. Leaning against the side of Edward's shower I let the warm water wrap around my body as I tried to relax. How the hell could I look Jonathan in the eyes after…that. My head was hurting just from trying to wrap my thoughts around it.

"V you've been in here awhile are you alright?" Edward walked into the bathroom and peeked into the shower.

"I hope so Eddie." I brushed some of my wet green hair from my eyes and I heard the rustle of the shower curtain. Two strong arms wrapped around me and I turned to bury my face in his chest.

"I'm here my little riddle queen." He rested his chin on my head and softly stroked my back. We stood there until the water got cold then he wrapped a towel around me and carried me to the bed. I was asleep before he even pulled the covers over my body. I was exhausted.

I woke up so warm and toasty. I opened my eyes and saw that I was on Edward's chest and he was breathing deeply still asleep. I turned to see who was snuggled into my back and saw that Joker and he was actually snuggling me. His arms were wrapped tightly around my middle and he'd even taken his makeup off, that or rubbed it all over my back during the night. Ever so slowly I wiggled out of both their grips and snuck into the bathroom. Checking in the mirror I was surprised to see that I wasn't covered in makeup.

Creeping out of the bathroom I slipped into a pair of Edward's boxers and another one of his vests. I really needed to get some clothing for myself. I don't know how neither of them woke up but I slipped out of the room and hoped I didn't find Jonathan sitting in a corner foaming at the mouth.

His room was unlocked and he was sleeping peacefully in his bed. I didn't see Scarecrow anywhere and relaxed a bit. Maybe I wouldn't see him again. I really hoped that Jonathan didn't hate me as I slipped into his bed and wrapped my arms around him from behind. His whole body froze and I felt him snap wide awake. He spun around and pinned me down before relaxing.

"V what the hell are you doing in here." Oh he was angry. So much for going back to sleep.

"You're still mad at me aren't you?" I gave him my best puppy dog eyes expression and he sighed before noticing the bruise on my chest.

"I'm madder at him right now. What did he do?" He let go of my hands and stroked the bruise softly.

"A lot of tongue and straw." I sighed and he snapped his gaze to me again.

"I meant here." He pushed on the bruise making me wince.

"That's what he did. He cut me open, shoved his tongue in me, and then shoved some of his black tarry straw there." Maybe I should have just snuggled up to Joker. I'd rather face a stabbing right about now.

"He what." He was softly pushing on the bruise as if I were about to explode with straw.

"Any ideas why he'd do that?" I winced as he pressed on an especially tender spot.

"Did he shove straw anyplace else?"

"Well I was pulling straw out of strange places." I remembered the shower and shuddered a bit.

"You're mine V. I won't let him take you from me." He grabbed my chin hard and pulled my eyes to his.

"I'm not going anywhere Jonathan." He was really scaring me right now and I was sure he could see it. He pulled my face to his chest and held me close. I wrapped my arms around him again as he kissed my hair. It almost felt like he was shaking so I nuzzled his chest and kissed it.

"Go back to sleep V. I'm sorry I scared you…it just I don't think I could survive losing you again." His voice was soft and it made me want to cry.

"I love you Jonathan." I murmured into his chest and closed my eyes.

"I love you too V. I won't let him hurt you again." He murmured into my hair and I was out like a light again.

"Wakey, Wakey V." My eyes snapped open and I looked up to see Scarecrow looking at me through Jonathan's eyes.

"Where did you put Jonathan?" I tried to pull out of his grip but he just rolled on top of me and grinned.

"Oh he's around. He owes me after kicking half my stuffing out."

"After what you did I'm surprised that he didn't set you on fire." He just smirked again and started nuzzling against the bruise on my chest. "That still hurts you know." I tried once again to push him off.

"Sorry V. Just had to leave my mark on you. Show Johnnie boy how serious I was about you."

"If I knew that it wasn't going to hurt Jonathan I would so kick your ass." I was mad, I wanted my Jonathan.

"Aww don't be mad. I just left a little piece of myself in you, so you can see me and feel me without needing the toxin." He was using Jonathan's tongue to try and distract me.

"If I can still see and hear you then why are you in Jonathan?"

"My bodies a little strung out right now. But don't worry I'll be back to make you scream again soon enough." His head snapped up and his grin faded off his face. It looked like he was fighting with something before Jonathan's body went limp on top of mine. He was heavy and knocked the breath from my lungs.

"Jonathan." I wheezed and managed to slide him off me. The bruise on my chest was burning and left me gasping for air. Looking down I saw the edges of the bruise actually expand until it was the size of a fist. I tried shaking Jonathan awake but his body stayed limp and his eyes were unfocused. I only wished I knew what was going on in his head. I pulled the covers back over him and curled up against his side. I really, really hoped he wasn't dead.

"Ah you freak what are you doing in the bed I share with V!" Edward's voice practically screamed across the apartments. I sat up and saw that Jonathan hadn't moved and was still just breathing slowly as if he were asleep.

"Where did you put Mrs. J you green patsy." I could hear Joker growling and I slipped from the bed to prevent World War J. I kissed Jonathan's head and slipped to Edward's door. Joker had pinned Edward down and was strangling him with both hands.

"Stop it both of you!" I yelled a little too loud, my voice cracked and pain shot through my neck. Joker let Edward go and jumped from the bed, pulling me into his arms.

"Ah calm down Mrs. J. Big daddy J has you now." He was stroking my back and licking his scars.

"Let her go you buffoon." Edward squeaked and pulled himself out of bed.

"Back off Riddles." Joker growled and I felt his fingertips digging into my back.

"Guys stop it." They both looked down at me. "Something's wrong with Jonathan."

"Well yea we saw that last night." Joker spoke slowly.

"He's lost it V you really shouldn't go near him anymore." Edward was slipping into some clothes.

"No guys something's wrong. He won't wake up." I felt Joker tense and Edward's eyes went wide. I was picked up as both men quickly rushed to Jonathan's room. Edward checked his pulse and checked his eyes.

"What happened?" He looked up at Joker. "Did you hurt him to get closer to my wife?"

"Calm down Riddles, I still needed the good doctor." I was pushed up against the wall as Joker strode over and checked Jonathan out as well. "Well that's interesting."

"What?" My eyes were moving between all three men.

"Seems your little birdie's slipped into a coma. Last time I saw eyes that glazed over it was when you were out." He stood up and adjusted his suit.

"What!" Both Edward and I exclaimed. I slipped to the floor and sat there staring at nothing.

"Damn it Joker you broke my riddle queen again." Edward was at my side in an instant making sure that I hadn't slipped back into a coma as well.

"I'm going out." Joker had a mad gleam in his eyes and he pulled a knife from his pocket.

"Again?" Edward looked up at him with a look on his face that I couldn't place.

"I don't handle change very well." He licked his scars. "And I don't like seeing my Mrs. cry." He stormed out of the room and I heard his door slam. Edward buried my face in his chest and held me close. All too soon I heard the front door open and slam shut. Joker really couldn't handle too much emotion, the hell would he do if I got knocked up? Blow up half of Gotham?

"Common V. I'll check up on Jonathan in a moment, you haven't eaten in awhile. I'm not letting you waste away in front of me." He picked me up and carried me to the kitchen. He walked from cabinet to cabinet with a confused look on his face before grabbing a can of spaghetti o's. I watched him actually cook them before putting them in a bowl before me. "Now eat my little V. I'm going to check on Jonathan." He kissed my forehead before walking out of the kitchen.

I poked at the meal with my spoon before taking a bite. I was starving but I made myself eat slowly. I broke Jonathan. I stared at the bruise on my chest, what exactly had Scarecrow done to me besides what he said. He didn't really exist, did he? Would he get rid of Jonathan and take his place? I looked down at my empty bowl and sighed.

"V baby don't freak out." Edward was in full suit and adjusting his tie.

"You're leaving me too?" My eyes started watering. He sighed and moved to my side.

"I'll be right back. I'm going to need to get supplies in case he's out as long as you were. As much as I like the thought of him being out of the picture I'd rather share you with him then Joker." He frowned for a moment before pulling me into a kiss. "Don't worry my little Riddle Queen, I'll never abandon you." He wiped the tears from my eyes before leaving. He paused at the door and looked back at me once before he was gone.

The emptiness of the apartments beat at me. This must have been what Jonathan felt when I was gone. I cleaned my dish in the sink and padded back to his room. He looked like he was sleeping. I adjusted the covers over him and kissed his forehead. I really didn't want to spend hours curled up in a corner bawling my eyes out. That wasn't going to help him. I slipped back into my old ways and started searching for a broom.

Several hours later I was panting sitting on the floor of the kitchen. I had scrubbed and polished every inch of the apartment I could, especially the mess that was Joker's bathroom. My fingertips were stained green and bleeding from the chemicals I'd had to use. I'd done what seemed like a hundred loads of laundry and I was sure I'd rewashed several loads. I dragged myself to my feet and checked on Jonathan. My blood froze, he was on the floor. I ran to his side and flipped him onto his back. He was still breathing and his heart was still beating. How did he get on the floor? I tried to lift him back onto the bed but my legs buckled and I ended up with his face against my chest sprawled out on the floor.

"I blame you for this." Scarecrow's voice made me nearly jump out of my skin. He was sitting off to my right with a scowl on his face. He looked like hell; his straw hair was standing on end in some places and missing in others. His shirt was still gone and he had straw and tar bleeding everywhere. One of his arms was wrapped up with bandages and I couldn't tell but I thought that both of his eyes were bruised.

"You look like hell." My arms wrapped around Jonathan protectively.

"Well I sure as hell feel like that right now." He snapped at me. He closed his burlap eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. "He kicked me out V. Any idea what that means?"

"You can't use him to do nefarious deeds anymore?"

"Very funny. I've been with Johnnie boy so long that he can't exist without me. No Scarecrow, No Jonathan." He spoke as if it meant nothing to him.

"He's going to die?" I started crying and Scarecrow groaned. He rested his head in his hands and took a deep breath.

"No V he's not going to die. He just won't wake up until he lets me back in. Doesn't help that he changed the keys."

"Can you help me get him back into bed, I really can't breathe." Jonathan was really heavy and I could only ignore the dark spots dancing in my vision for so long.

"Women." Scarecrow sighed before standing up and struggling to pull Jonathan's body back into the bed. In the end he was covered in straw and tar but safely nestled back into the covers.

"How do we get you back in his head?" I sat up and rubbed my chest, the burning ache was back.

"Hell if I know." Scarecrow sat down next to me and tugged at my hair. "You don't look so good yourself my little scream queen."

"Well yea whatever you did to my chest hurts like hell."

"Oh relax; your body just isn't used to me yet. First few times will hurt but then it'll be smooth sailing. And I do hope for a few more times." He licked his lips and I smacked his hands away from my hair.

"I'm not sleeping with you again. Not only is my Jonathan in a freaking coma because of you, but I don't wanna be pulling straw out of there again."

"Oh you loved it. Now come here and give your Straw Daddy another kiss." He puckered his straw lips up and I punched him as hard as I could. He just laughed and pinned me down under him again. "Oh V you do know how to please your man." He licked his lips and I wished that Jonathan would just wake up and kick his ass again.