Finally updated! Next is the epic battle! And oh my god, you guys, I'm SO SORRY. I promise to make it up to you guys with updates and oneshots galore once APs are over!
*Edit: The chapter has been revised slightly. Not enough to change the plot, but Sakura is now more in character than before and you get a bit more of Hisoka's stance on things (on accident of course. I had meant to make this more Sakura-centtric)
Sakura awoke to the sunlight streaming in through the leaves. It was still early and in the forest around them, the single twittering notes of the songbirds nesting in the trees drifted down like ghosts.
Blinking her eyes, she felt a heavy weight across her arms and she stared at the brown mass of heavy fabric before remembering the night before. Hisoka had given her his traveling cloak to keep warm. Looking down, she could see the morning dew clinging to it. Reaching up, she discovered it was in her hair as well.
"Good morning, Sakura-san," Kakeru greeted politely with a smile. In return, she smiled back at the green-haired man who seemed satisfied with her answer and headed towards the fire Atsushi was tending. Hovering above it, skewered on a few sticks were a few fish. Apparently, Atsushi was lucky today. The day before, they subsisted on a few roots found in the forest to accompany their rice.
The strange thing was, though, usually Atsushi injured himself during this time. It wasn't particularly any fault on his part, he was just clumsy at times; and as soon as she thought that, Atsushi's howl of despair echoed the camp as he burned his finger while tending the fire. It was like clockwork, and Sakura couldn't help the smile that came to her face from the safety of routine. It was strange that she would smile during her kidnapping or be this calm, but she couldn't help it. They reminded her so much of her old team in certain ways. If she closed her eyes, she could easily imagine it being Naruto howling in pain and clutching his injured finger. It almost made her want to stay. Almost.
And then, like always, the baby would kick and she would look down at it. Memories flashed at her briefly, always too quickly for her to catch the beginning until they slowed to an image of Kakashi. Kakashi…how was he faring in all of this, she wondered.
The baby kicked again and she placed her hand over her stomach as if to soothe it. She'd have to get up soon and she moved to do so, only for a back spasm to knock her back down.
'Too fast,' she thought gasping through the sudden pain. A shadow cooled the side of her face and looking up, she saw Hisoka having already reclaimed his cloak and wordlessly offering a hand to her. Reaching up, she took it easily and using the tree for support, pulled herself to her feet. She thanked Hisoka who merely shook his head, dismissing the need before heading to the fire where Kakeru and Atsushi were, their faces solemn and oddly grim. It was quiet at the campsite; Atsushi's howls had quieted and the only sounds were the singing of the birds and the crackling of the fire. Sakura wondered why it was so silent; camp was never so quiet.
And then, she remembered…today was the day they would meet. Today was the day of the battle, and the reason for the silence was that they were men condemned to die.
That day at breakfast, the notes of the birds stretched and echoed in the spaces of the silence; they sounded like death knells.
Unsurprisingly, travelling that day was also quiet as well. They were not far from the meeting place. Kakeru had sent a messenger hawk at breakfast giving the coordinates they were to meet at and the time they could be expected to arrive. Looking up at the position of the sun, that gave them an hour, tops.
Sakura glanced ahead of her, Hisoka's broad shoulders staring back at her. Behind her, Kakeru brought up the rear and Atsushi lead the front. Though he would be usually carrying her, she refused it. Even if her feet were aching and blistering from walking in her thin-soled shoes, she couldn't bring herself to wear Atsushi down with her weight. He'd need his strength for the fight. It was something she truly believed in—and while everything in her ninja training told her to make him more tired to give her rescuers a better chance, she couldn't bring herself to do it. She liked her kidnappers too much; they had been kind and courteous to her as much as they could allow and she knew she had much more freedom than regular hostages. Briefly, she entertained the idea of the famed Haruno Sakura falling victim to Stockholm syndrome before a laugh escaped her lips. That was too absurd, even for her.
Feeling eyes on her, she looked up to see Hisoka looking back at her. She caught his gaze and cocked her head questioningly, only for him to mumble something unintelligible as he quickly looked away.
She stared at his back, her mind analyzing his body as she silently calculated his chances of winning. She had not seen any of their jutsu, and she didn't know who else was going to be on her rescue team, but she could already see a few things. Hisoka's shoulders were slightly broader than Kakashi's. If he was a fire-user like Sasuke, his jutsu would be more potent given the extra lung capacity.
They were roughly the same height. However, Kakashi's reach was longer, but depending on how rested he was, Hisoka's slightly heavier build could do some serious damage if Kakashi wasn't careful.
'Knowing him, he's probably disobeying orders to get to me,' she thought dryly. She had no doubt in her mind that Kakashi was going to be on the rescue team. Despite the village's policy, the ransom letter was a direct challenge to Kakashi and they had kidnapped his wife and unborn child. He'd be furious and desperate to save them, and while this touched her heart, Sakura did not smile as glowingly as she would've thought. However, she dismissed it as merely a reaction to the heavy air they traveled under. It was no secret that only one group was going to come out of this alive and any shinobi, no matter what rank or title, was always nervous when marching towards their certain death. What did change was how well they learned to hide it.
Movement caught Sakura's gaze and she tracked the small knot in Hisoka's cloak until a breeze passed, revealing his sword. It was a mid-range sword, longer than the ones issued standard at Anbu. Though he usually carried it on his back, it was at his side, swinging calmly and easily like the pendulum of a clock.
She walked over to him and matched his pace. "You know, you still haven't told me why you've become a missing-nin," she told him.
"Are you sure you should be consorting with the enemy so easily?" he asked with a side-long glance. Sakura smirked with irony on her lips.
"You're talking to a woman who is best friends with Uchiha Sasuke. And besides, consorting with the enemy is part of being a kunoichi. The ability to start conversations is a must."
"My apologies then," he said with a fleeting smile. She caught it, then after a pause, asked, "So will you tell me?"
Hisoka gave what almost sounded like a heavy sigh. "Sakura…"
"I'm not asking this as an informant for Konoha. You might die. I'd at least like to know your story before I decide whether or not to pray for your soul."
Hisoka smirked bitterly. "My soul was lost long ago."
"It doesn't seem that way to me."
She said this in passing, but it was true. She had seen soullessness. Sasuke, when he was still searching for his brother, was soulless. He had become a slave to his hatred and numb to any notions of joy or forgiveness. There was the passion of anger in his body movements, the tense twitches and jerks of his muscles coiled with the need for blood, but none of it ever met his eyes. Unlike the dark shining pools she remembered seeing in her youth, those eyes were as vast and hollow as the black holes of space. Any light she might've seen was swallowed and lost within his eyes, and when they finally got him back, she had swore to use everything in her power so she would not see that look in his eyes again.
Those eyes had haunted her dreams for weeks. She had nearly forgotten about it, but she had made her peace with those memories. In any event, she knew what not having a soul looked like and Hisoka, regardless of whatever notions he carried of himself, indeed had a soul. Glancing out of the corner of her eye, she could see his stunned expression staring back at her.
"What?" she asked harmlessly.
Hisoka shook his head. "Nothing," he muttered, brows knit in concentration. However, after years of being with people—especially people like him—she knew nothing meant something. It always meant something, and she wouldn't rest until she discovered what.
"I asked Atsushi and Kakeru earlier, you know," she said conversationally. "They wouldn't tell me anything either. Or rather, Atsushi doesn't know and Kakeru doesn't want to say." Her tone was biting. "What is the harm in telling me? You already know all about me and any information you give would just be background information in a bingo book."
"While you may think very little of my past, I am sorry to tell you that I do not share the same sentiment," he told her coldly, turning his head away from her. She stared in disbelief at the man. He had shut her off; his body language telling her the conversation was closed and to back off from the subject, but she wouldn't. Something was bubbling in her and she realized it for what it was when it came to the surface. It was the leftover remnants of her anger and desperation—relics of her days hunting Sasuke. It was her need to heal, her burning urge to gouge out pain and internalize it for herself. Sai had affectionately called it her "martyr complex" once and perhaps he was right. She was always trying to heal the boy she could not save. Even if he was back with her, she supposed a part of her would always seek him out and try and save him, if only to reach the shadows of him that plagued her mind when she was younger.
'It seems that I was apt in likening him to Sasuke,' she thought smirking to herself. Still, it was unbelievable that she was getting along so well with her kidnappers, even going so far to compare Hisoka to one of her best friends. But then again, had things been different, who knows? Maybe she would've been best friends with them as well.
"We're getting closer," he told her, the sound of his voice pulling her from her thoughts. Caught off-guard, she stumbled on one of the tree roots snaking across the old merchant path they were travelling on. Hisoka caught her by the arm.
"Are you praying for your rescue team?" he asked her quietly, voice gliding over her ears as smooth as water. It reminded her of Kakashi.
"I have complete faith in my team. I'm more worried about you three. You are dealing with the leader of Team 7, and no doubt my two other idiots are on the team as well," she huffed. Kami knew, whenever Sakura was in trouble, Sasuke and Naruto would fight heaven and earth to save her. Tsunade would've been no match in trying to keep them off the team.
Hisoka replied to her comment with a small quirk of his lips. "Is that so?" he drawled lazily, seemingly having gone back to his same mysterious demeanor. This reminded her of Kakashi too. In retrospect, many things about him reminded her of Kakashi.
Instantly, at the thought of Kakashi's name, the memories flashed and flickered in her mind. It was like something was bubbling towards the surface, but like before, they were too fast to catch and the memories slipped through her fingers back to the abyss from whence they came. It seemed like it was something important, but for the life of her, she couldn't figure out what.
The swinging tilt of her center of gravity immediately brought her back to the old merchant path. "What are you doing?"
"Carrying you," Atsushi answered with his usual cheesy grin. Hisoka, walking beside them, offered an explanation.
"You seemed tired. I asked Atsushi to carry you."
"Put me down!" she shouted, slapping at Atsushi who gently placed her back on the ground. Straightening her dress, she quickly turned to the object of her annoyance.
"Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I can't walk," she said glaring at Hisoka before turning to Atsushi. "And you. Don't carry me. I don't care what your captain tells you. You are the first line of defense in case of attack and you certainly can't fight with me in your hands. And what would you three do if your pregnant hostage was killed? Ever think of that?"
By the time she finished lecturing them, Atsushi was still standing where he had stopped in the road, lips quivering and eyes teary as he tried to deal with the fact he had disappointed the nice lady with the baby in her stomach. Kakeru, seeing his friend's, distress, went to his side to comfort him.
"Our apologies, Sakura-san. We humbly ask for forgiveness," he said bowing his head, catching Sakura off-guard. If this had been Naruto or Sasuke, they would've thrown a fit and lectured her about her own well-being. Never in a million years would she have expected an apology. In fact, Kakeru's politeness reminded her much of the late Hyuuga Neji's own propensity for manners and decorum in all situations, and for a few seconds, her mind chased memories of Konoha's bright blue skies.
"Sakura-san?"
Sakura blinked, the skies swallowed by the darkness of the insides of her eyelids, and she turned to see Kakeru's puzzled and slightly worried gaze. Briefly, the idea ghosted over her mind that if Sai were here with her, he'd have the same expression on his face.
Realizing he was waiting for an answer, Sakura quickly collected herself. They were marching towards a battle and she was disturbing their focus. If Kakeru got killed because her lack of response had plagued his mind, she would never forgive herself.
"Apology accepted," she answered. Her words were somewhat stiff and a look of hesitance ghosted over his face. Hisoka, however, waved at Kakeru to move on. With a quick nod to the captain, the group reassembled to their traveling formation.
"Are you sure you don't need help?" Hisoka asked after a few minutes of travel. He had fallen back to walk with her. Sakura looked up at him from the corner of her eyes.
"I don't need your help. I may be pregnant, but I'm a kunoichi first—as well as your hostage. You shouldn't be so kind to me—not that I don't appreciate it or anything!—It's just…you don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine."
At her reassurance, Hisoka smiled mysteriously once more. "Yes. I guess I shouldn't."
At his quiet musing, Sakura glanced at him from the corners of her eyes. His voice had taken on a strange tone and his eyes seemed to be far away in some mix of memory and emotion. But before she could ask him about it, he leapt ahead and took the lead position with Atsushi acting as a barrier between them.
The group traveled on in silence.
The walk after Sakura's lecture was uneventful. Atsushi made no more attempts to carry her and Hisoka made no attempts to reclaim his previous post or order Atsushi to carry her. The trees stretched endlessly upon themselves in the forest.
The path they were travelling had once been a trade route for merchants since there was a fast flowing river in this area. However, a few decades ago, a bridge was erected across it and the path fell into disuse. There were still some farming communities that still used this road from time to time, and Kakeru told her that not too far ahead would be a clearing surrounded by trees that would serve as the meeting place. It was a remote area that at one time, was the worship site of some kami for a small farming village. When the harvest went bad, the villagers destroyed the shrine and eventually left the village entirely. As for how Kakeru knew, he told her that he was from the Land of Grass and said nothing more.
Taking in the forestry around them, Sakura realized they were getting closer. The path was becoming more covered by the grasses and she could feel a faint breeze come at her through the gaps in the densely packed trees. Atsushi began fidgeting, teeth chattering as he walked and glancing behind her, she watched Kakeru's Adam's apple bob once again as he swallowed nervously. Beads of sweat ran down sides of his face and by the way he was flexing his fingers, his palms were sweaty too. However, Hisoka remained ever impassive and unnerved.
Quickening her steps, she raced to catch him, thankful when he slowed his pace slightly for her. But even before she fully reached his side, his voice shot down any chance of her aim, "I've already told you once. I'm not discussing my past with you and I don't need the likes of you praying for my soul." Pausing, he leaned down until they were nose-to-nose. "Stop asking," he warned.
With that, he continued his pace, but even then, he could feel her stare burning into his back. He shifted his shoulders uncomfortably. Ahead, Kakeru and Atsushi continued towards the meeting place, oblivious to the antics going on behind them. Hisoka hoped to keep it that way.
The dark-haired nin continued his pace, trying not to fidget under the gaze slowly burrowing under his skin uncomfortably as he ignored her. But it was there, always there. Even when he glanced back over his shoulder, her distant gaze merely turned up listlessly from his back to his face. Her eyes met his dazedly, like two shining glass mirrors; it was more like she was looking through him rather than at him, and it unnerved him, made him feel things he thought he'd long buried. What was more was that she didn't seem to know she was doing it at all.
"Why do you want to know so much? What is it about me that you want to know?" he asked, a hint of frustration in his voice as he turned to face her.
At his question, Sakura leapt slightly in surprise—she hadn't expected him to talk to her about this subject again—her mind suddenly went blank. She knew it was partly due to her feelings of Sasuke leaving that she was asking him this. However, it wasn't the only reason, but exactly what that other reason was, she couldn't exactly describe.
"Curiosity," she replied stiffly. It wasn't the truth, but it wasn't a lie either. She was curious about his past, but she doubted it breached into the realm of morbid curiosity. Hisoka seemed to doubt it as well, but he didn't say anything and stepping around her, began walking once more. Following his lead, Atsushi quickly assumed his position behind his captain. Sakura watched him hasten his steps to follow; in the back of her mind, Sakura wondered if she would ever find out.
"Sakura-san?"
Turning her head to the voice, she realized it was Kakeru. "Shall we move on?" he asked politely, a hand extended invitingly to their path. Sakura nodded slowly. Now was not the time to be thinking about these things.
Slowly, but surely, Sakura began to put more distance between her and where she had stopped them. Kakeru was a respectful distance behind her and she could tell by the small flickers on her skin that he was scanning her for fatigue. However, he did not speak to her at all; in a way, he was like a shadow. Hisoka and Atsushi continued their position at the front.
"If you don't mind me asking, Sakura-san…why do you wish to know Captain's past so much? I couldn't help but overhear. "
Kakeru was now at her side and looking up, she realized the eyes she thought were originally black were actually a very dark forest green.
"You all have been very kind to me," she began, "you've fed me, kept me warm, and even carried me when we were travelling. Despite being your hostage, you've treated me as if I were one of you. I'm very grateful for what you've done, and I don't want to forget you."
"You say that as if we're going to lose."
At the sound of Hisoka's voice, she looked up. There was a small smirk on his lips, a calm air floating around him. The cockiness of his tone forced a few chuckles from his teammates but she knew his remark was only to raise the spirits of his team. They were going to die on this battlefield. It would be a miracle if they survived. Hisoka seemed to know this as well.
"Do you really think it's wise to tell them that?" she whispered, catching up to him when he slowed his strides.
Hisoka shrugged beneath his cloak. "Do you think they'd feel any better if I hadn't? We sent that letter with the full expectation of dying today, but if I can keep the shadow of death from their minds, I will. They are good men. I don't want them to suffer any longer than they have to."
"How generous of you."
Hisoka chuckled emptily. "I'd like to think so," he answered. "In any event, I doubt you'll ever forget us. This will make for an interesting story to tell your child when they are born and chances are, you'll have to recount this story more than you'd like."
"Are you speaking from experience when you say that?"
Hisoka frowned. "Are you implying that I am?"
It was Sakura's turn to frown. "It seems like you are, but what do I know? I'm only a hostage."
Hisoka sighed in aggravation. "Why do you want to know so desperately? What about my past fascinates you so much? And don't give me that bull about wanting to pray for my soul or wanting something fond to remember me by. Tell me the real reason."
"I've already told you."
"Then repeat it. Tell me again. Tell me why you want to know," he hissed.
"Because I want to know. You're too nice to be a nuke-nin, so what happened to you? Why did you become this way?"
Hisoka laughed. "Even if I tell you, what can you do? The past is done and this is who I am now."
"I can remember you as who you are, and not the person who want to make yourself out to be."
Her words made him stop dead in his tracks, forced him to turn and meet her gaze, eyes as unwavering as her words. He chuckled to himself and in his eyes, she could see that he was conflicted. Her words had done as much damage as if she had stabbed him while looking him in the eyes and saying she loved him. She could see he didn't know what to do, how to react when she had said that with such sincerity. He knew he couldn't laugh, so he did the only thing he could.
"That bleeding heart of yours is going to kill you one day," he told her with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
She nodded. She'd been told that by many people over the years, but there was something in the way he said it that made her think there was more that he wanted to say because she had seen the flashes in his eyes, and for the briefest moment, she saw the loss and sadness frozen in his gaze.
She opened her mouth, about to demand an explanation when he suddenly stopped behind her and raised a hand to halt.
In his typical low timber, he stated tonelessly, "We're here."
Hisoka remained in front of her, Atsushi and Kakeru now at his side. Despite their heights, Sakura could still see the clearing through the gaps in their bodies.
The clearing was small, possibly the size of a baseball field. Trees surrounded the clearing and looking up, Sakura could see the clouds beginning to block out the sun. Like the merchant path they took to get there, the ground was barren save for a few blades of grass; the purification salts used for the rituals by the villagers having made the grounds inhospitable to life.
"Sakura-chan!"
She knew that voice and clambering to get a view of his face, Sakura pushed down Kakeru's arm and nearly cried. "Naruto!" she shouted happily, a rush of emotions causing tears to dot the edges of her eyes. Naruto…it was so good to see him.
Spotting Naruto, she scanned the area for the others, wondering where they were hidden. Briefly, she thought about how Hisoka must have been doing the same, but the feelings of excitement brimmed within her. Her retrieval team was here. Naruto was here, and with it came the fluttering beating heart of nostalgia and memories.
Suddenly a cold hand gripped her heart. She continued to scan the trees urgently, this time out of worry. In her excitement of reuniting with her friends, she had briefly forgotten the three nuke-nin standing between her and her fellow Konoha nin. However, reality had come down in a sobering wave. Apprehension weaved between her veins. She could see Naruto and Sasuke easily standing where the trees gave way opposite their side of the field. The others of the party weren't as visible. Where was their back up? Where was he? Where was—?
"You've arrived." Hisoka's calm comment ruptured the tense air, sending waves of nervousness skittering through all their veins. Following his focused, mildly mocking gaze, she saw him.
There, across the field from her, was Hatake Kakashi.