Housekeeping

Thoughts

Sexy Scarecrow Voice

Speaking

Chapter 26: Houston we have a problem

It's been two weeks since I'd last seen Joker and the apartments had practically become a war zone. Edward and Jonathan were constantly fighting and more then once I had to drag them apart due to blood being spilt. But that wasn't what was worrying me right now. I stared down at the empty blister pack in my hands. I had just gone through my entire week of 'period' pills but hadn't had one yet. I was biting my lip as I dropped the pack into the trash with a shaky hand. I couldn't say anything to the guys, not until I was sure. Last thing I needed was for them to actually start stabbing each other over this. I crept out of Joker's bathroom and walked over to where Edward and Jonathan had collapsed on the floor.

They had beat each other over the head with the last of our TV trays then choked each other out. I had pried their hands off each others necks and it looked more like they were snuggling then trying to kill each other. I needed help but the one person I could turn to I hadn't seen in two weeks, besides Joker of course. I crept into Jonathan's room and closed the door behind me. I really hoped that this would work; I was scared as all hell.

"Scarecrow? Scarecrow I need you, the flesh and blood you. Please don't show up in Jonathan's skin." I looked around the room but nothing happened for several minutes. Just as I was about to hang my head and retreat to Joker's room I heard the sound of straw on fabric.

"I knew you would come back to me my little scream queen." Scarecrow was lying on Jonathan's bed completely naked save for his hat strategically placed over his hips. He was grinning showing off his sharp blackened teeth.

"Scarecrow please get dressed I need your help." I rubbed my arms as a nervous shake overtook me. He was up at once and dressed a large scythe in his hands and murder in his eyes.

"What's wrong V? Did something…" I walked over and pinched his burlap lips closed with my hands.

"Scarecrow you can't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you. Not Jonathan, not Edward and not even Joker." He lifted an eyebrow as if to say 'And how the hell would I tell the other two creeps anything?' "I mean it." He nodded and I let his lips go. "Scarecrow I need you to help me get into town to a store or something. I really need to grab a few things that I can't let the guys know I have."

"Like what? What's going on V?" The scythe was now strapped to his back and his taloned fingers were on either side of my head, softly stroking my cheeks. His eyes were burning into mine as if searching for something.

"Well don't freak out but I haven't gotten my period yet." As soon as the words left my mouth he froze. "I need to go buy some tests but I don't want anyone to know until I do."

"V are you…?"

"I don't know. That's why I need your help. You said that you could be away from Jonathan for awhile so I was hoping you could go with me and protect me or something." My nervous shake was back and I was pulled against his straw filled body as if I were made of glass. Scarecrow had never held me this gently before.

"I'll follow you to the ends of the world V. Let's go get these tests before the boys wake up." He walked over to Jonathan's desk and pulled some keys out of the drawer. "I hope you don't mind if I drive."

"Is it even safe to let you drive? How would that even work?"

"Well you'd have to let me jump into your body for a bit. Like what I do with Jonathan."

"You're not putting up a room in my head Scarecrow." I frowned but he shook his head and held up a hand.

"Temporary arrangements baby. I'll hop back out once you're safe back home. I much prefer being outside your body driving in then inside your body driving." He gave me a cocky grin before waltzing over and stroking my cheek.

"And how exactly would that work?" He slid his hand down to the bruise on my chest and it throbbed.

"Just close your eyes baby. I'll let you see what's going on, but I'll do all the work." He pulled me into a kiss and I closed my eyes. Within moments I felt like I was falling until something wrapped around my very being pulling me back up. Scarecrow was gone but I couldn't move my body.

'Scarecrow?' The words seemed to echo in my head instead of coming out of my mouth. Fear raced through my veins until the force wrapped around my soul seemed to hold me closer.

"It's always scary the first time V. I'll try not to make a habit of this." The words came out of my mouth and I knew that Scarecrow was inside me. I should have been shaking with fear or rage but I felt safe. He was warm and fuzzy inside me and I could hear every thought he was having, every feeling running through his body. Without his cocky attitude to hide behind I could feel that he actually loved me. His straw heart was beating in time with mine and he had a possessive streak a mile wide.

'I don't think I'd mind it too much, you're all warm and fuzzy inside. I thought you'd be all vinegar and hell fire.'

"Don't look too much into it V. I only feel this way around you, everyone else is just a screaming flesh bag. I wanna burn the world and make love to you on the bodies of our fallen foes." He was serious about that as he walked my body over to Jonathan's desk and pulled some money out of a hidden drawer. After he stuffed my pockets with cash he slipped me into a comfortable pair of shoes and put my hair into a pony tail.

We marched out to the front door after making sure that Jonathan and Edward would be out for awhile. It probably didn't help that Scarecrow used my foot to kick them in the ribs to make sure they were really out. 'You're being an ass.'

"I love you too baby, hey maybe it's my baby?" He whispered in my voice and stroked my stomach as we marched outside. There was a small blue car parked off to the side of the warehouse apartments and he unlocked the door. He double checked that we were safely strapped in and that the car was safe before turning it on. I thought that he'd drive like a man possessed but he drove like an old woman. He was being so cautious I thought that he'd become a whole other person. We pulled into a local pharmacy and he parked the car and walked us inside. "So what exactly are we looking for again?"

'Go to the family planning isle.' I saw him look up at the descriptions above the isles before walking down one near the back. He actually blushed as we walked past all the pads and tampons. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head when we reached the condoms.

"The hell is this shit V?" He was whispering in my voice again so no one would take notice of us. He was looking at all the different boxes and choices. "Ribbed for her pleasure? Sonic sparks for your partner, flavored lubes?" For being in Jonathan's head he was clueless and I chuckled making his presence wrap around my soul again.

'That's not what we need Crow. They're just down the isle now move it.' He reluctantly put the boxes back down and walked down to the tests. I wasn't sure which one would be best so I had him pick out four different types. There were traditional pink/blue lines, digital ones and ones that guaranteed you with up to 100% effectiveness of your pregnancy detection. 'Do you want me to take over while we check out? This is going to be awkward for all parties involved with this.'

"I'll just grab a bag of chips or a chocolate bar so this doesn't look weird." He grabbed a king sized chocolate bar as we walked to the check out lines. The cashier gave me a look of disgust until she saw the ring on my finger, and then she looked up in surprise.

"Oh honey a girl who buys this many tests must be terrified of having a baby. If you want I have a number you can call with a hotline…" She started speaking and pulled a card out of her pocket with the number of an abortion clinic. Scarecrow was seething with rage and the warm fuzzy feeling surrounding me turned cold.

"I'm keeping my baby if I'm having it. Now how much do I need to pay you witch?" He growled and the cashier slipped the card into the bag of supplies anyways.

"That'll be $34.23." She took the money and handed back the change.

'I don't want to risk taking this home, see if they have a bathroom we can use." I pleaded in my head.

"Would it be alright if I used your facilities?" Scarecrow was wrapped around me protectively and if I'd been Jonathan this woman would be screaming with a lung full of gas.

"Sure honey, here's the key to the employee restroom. All the way in the back, next to the coolers." She handed me the keys and patted my hand in a comforting way. "And don't forget that it's never too late."

'Too late for what?' Hell I was wishing I had some of Jonathan's gas right now. Scarecrow marched me back to the restroom and locked the door behind us.

"Lets just get this over with V. What do I need to have your body do?" He pulled the boxes out and started reading them. I felt my eyebrow raising once he'd read the directions. "This should be interesting."

'This is embarrassing.' Scarecrow had me pee into four different cups and each one had a test stick balanced inside. I was blushing so hard and his presence was holding onto my soul so tightly I was sure we'd fuse together. His eyes never left the clock in the corner of the bathroom until it was time to check them.

"Moment of truth V." He started pulling them out one by one and if I had been in control of my own body I'd have fainted. Two pink lines, a pink plus mark, a blinking pregnant, and last but not least a blinking pregnant pink plus sign.

'Oh god.'

"V the hell are you going to do?" Scarecrow dumped the cups down the toilet and chucked the tests into the trash. He started pacing and holding my arms over my mid section protectively. I could literally feel his mind clicking into 'straw daddy' mode.

'I'm really freaking out here Scarecrow, what am I going to do?' I didn't think that eating the candy bar would help. Scarecrow made a show of ripping up the little business card in the bottom of the bag and throwing it away.

"We're keeping our baby V." He grabbed the candy bar from the bag and shoved it into my pocket. He threw the bag away and marched out of the bathroom, chucking the key at the hapless cashier as we left.

'I'm on the pill how the hell could this have happened?' I was in denial and lost in my own thoughts. We had almost made it to the car before something metal was shoved into the middle of my back and voice reached my ears.

"Oh look who I found, a little lost housekeeper." We turned and saw Larry from maintenance standing there with a big grin on his face.

"The hell?" Scarecrow wanted to strangle this guy but he was more concerned with me and the baby growing inside.

"I thought that I'd finally made you see reason. I blew up your car so you'd stop going into work and flirting with those men. I tried to scare you away by having my dad try to hit you with his car. For friggin sakes I sent you an eye to tell you I was watching you! I even hired the mob to scare you off!" His voice was raising by the second and his gun was shaking. We were both feeling fear, and Scarecrow didn't like that.

'Crow remember Larry from maintenance? Please don't do anything to get me shot.' I was whimpering in my head and my soul wrapped around Crow's. He tried to comfort me the best he could while trying to plan on how to keep me alive.

"What are you going to do to me Larry?" He bit my tongue to try and make me sound more afraid then possessed.

"Well for starters you're coming with me." He walked us to a nearby car and made us get into the trunk. "Now we're going for a little ride." He grinned and slammed the trunk closed over top of us.

"V I'm gonna have to come out of you a bit." Crow was shaking with anger.

'I'm scared.'

"I have to find out where we're going so I can bring Jonathan to kill this flesh bag." I felt the car start moving and Crow seemed to pull out of me making me feel empty inside. The ride seemed to take forever and I grabbed my stomach protectively every time the car hit a bump or stopped unexpectedly. I was shaking and pale by the time the car stopped. I felt Scarecrow slip back into my body and I wrapped around him until we were nearly one being. "Calm down V. Don't fuse us together or we'll be stuck like Jonathan and I. Just do what he says until I can see where we're going. I put a bit of myself in you so I'll always know where you are." He whispered and the trunk popped open. Larry pointed the gun at me again and waved me out of the trunk.

"Move it." We climbed out of the trunk and Crow had me looking around at everything as we were forced into a small apartment building. We were in the narrows and only a few miles from Arkham. Once we were inside I was forced to sit on an ugly brown plush chair and was tied up. I whimpered in my head when ropes were tied around my midsection and pulled tight.

'Crow, the baby.'

"Don't worry V. I'm going to go get Jonathan now. Don't die on us, I need you. Stay strong, both of you." He gave my soul a comforting squeeze before slipping out of me again. I saw his ghostly body fly out of the house faster then a heartbeat.

"Now don't go anywhere." A gag was forced into my mouth as Larry walked into the other room and I heard him dial a phone. I tugged on the restraints but stopped when they tugged against my stomach. I was scared.