Author's Notes:
Yes, yes, because the computer at the University decided that he wanted to be mean this update comes later than anticipated... Stupid PC.
Because the semester started recently I can still update twice a week (I guess), but I fear that this will change soon, not because I don't have enough material to share with you, but because I won't be able to write enough and I can't update if I know that I will run short on reserves. X3 Me stupid.
Well, the third day of training... doesn't really have training in it. X3 This and the beginning of next chapter belong to the same day, but for reasons even I don't know I decided to cut it off at the end of this chapter.
Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino
Kapitel 6 - A little help from LinaliThe next morning Ellen did not show up at the striking of the chapel bells at six o'clock. Kanda could remember what she had said of not wanting to make him wait the day before. He took the option into consideration that she had slept in (but it was unlikely, because she did seem to have discipline) or that she was still too exhausted from the day before (as he had made the experience himself he knew that this was highly probable). He was not annoyed much, as not having to see her was a good thing, and neither was he worried about her. But it was his mission to train her and look to it that she spent her day doing useful things. If she overexerted herself it was up to him to teach her how to get remedies. With these thoughts in mind he left the training hall and went back up to the living quarters.
Kanda looked at a big notice board at the main hall of the living quarters to find out where the beansprout's room was located and realized that they were separated by only a few doors. He thus went back to his own corridor and a bit further until he reached the right door. Not one for good manners he hammered at the door, but still possessed the decency to not just barge in. If it were Rabi's room he might have done so (just to return the favour). It took some time for Ellen to open the door but when she did Kanda was not surprised that she hadn't showed up for training.
"You look disgusting", he told her as he took in her appearance; she wore a long girly night dress, which reached her ankles, her face was ghostly white, her eyes were glazed and showed pain, while her hair was a general mess. "You missed morning practice". Ellen suddenly straightened up and Kanda realized that she had been slightly hunched over.
"I am so sorry", she said weakly, "I just could not move…". Kanda raised an eyebrow when she swayed a little, as if she would pass out any moment. Her body radiated heat and his nose could discern the faint smell of sweat and… blood?
"You surely are weak…", he told her after some hesitation, "let's get you to Komui". Ellen wanted to reach out for him, but thought better of it.
"No… It is okay. Could you rather look whether Linali is to be found?", she asked him, and started to back off into her room again.
"Linali?", Kanda repeated with a frown.
"Please…", Ellen begged and looked up at him, "it is nothing you should concern yourself with". Kanda snorted, but closed the door in her face before she could do it herself and stalked off to find the Chinese girl.
Ellen had just managed to open the window to let some fresh morning air in, so she could clear her head, and now sat back onto her bed. But then there was soft knocking on her door and she had to get up again.
"Allen? Are you alright?", she heard Linali ask behind the closed door. Very much relieved Ellen opened the door and let her in.
"Oh my. You look quite ill, Kanda was right!", she told her and put her hands on Ellen's shoulders.
"Is Kanda here too?", Ellen asked, dreading that he was, but Linali just laughed and shook her head.
"No, he said that he was not interested in what you had to whine about. I guess he was just angry that you rather wanted my assistance than his", she told him, but Ellen highly doubted it. He most probably just walked off to get himself some food or to practise his evil glare. "So. What is it all about? Would you like me to get you to the nurse?", the Chinese girl asked. Ellen shook her head and sat down on her bed and pinched the bridge of her nose.
"I am a little bit embarrassed, but I really do need your help, Linali…", she started, then she lifted the covers of the bed. Linali looked at the other girl with a puzzled expression, then she followed her gaze directed at the mattress and her eyes widened; it was stained with blood, some fresh the other already drying.
"Are you hurt?", she asked, then she turned her gaze at Ellen, the other girl's face red with embarrassment. Then it dawned on Linali and she blushed. "Oh! I'm so sorry! I didn't even realize!!", she shrieked, hands over her mouth for now she too was rather ashamed to not have known it from the start.
"I… It is okay Linali…", Ellen said, "about this…".
"But why didn't you correct me or Komui?", Linali interrupted her.
"Can we talk about this at a later point…? I feel highly uncomfortable…", Ellen mumbled and Linali started to laugh.
"Of course, pardon me…", she said and patted Ellen's head, "I'm just so excited to have another girl here!". Ellen had to smile at that. "Just a moment, I will get you some sanitary towels from the infirmary". The English girl nodded and Linali disappeared, leaving Ellen alone for a moment. Ellen was a little bit nervous but relieved too. Finally someone knew that she was a girl, not that it had been a secret at any point of time. If Linali knew, her brother would know and everyone else would know too in due time, even Kanda. Only this one point disturbed her a little bit. Surely, she wanted to be treated nicely by him too, but on the other hand she did want to be on equal grounds with him. Kanda was more experienced and older than her, so she did have a lot of catching up to do, but she would eventually get there. If he now knew that she was a girl he would probably stop training with her and consider her just a female in need of protection instead of a fellow exorcist who was capable to fend for himself – herself, in Ellen's case. She remembered Linali's words that for Kanda a woman did not belong on the battlefield. What if he point out refused to train her so she would never get to fight? Ellen shook her head.
"I am being silly. I am here to become an exorcist after all. Komui would not allow me to not be involved. And I promised to fight to get revenge on this earl… Mana… I will go on… Nothing has changed" she whispered.
She heard a knock on the door again and Linali came back into the room, with a bag in her hands, because it was not proper to walk around displaying women's utensils, her mother had told her so much. Menstruation was a private affair, that's why Ellen had hesitated to ask Linali for help.
"There you go, Allen!", Linali said and put the bag on Ellen's bed. "Or did I get your name's pronunciation wrong? Is it Ellen instead?".
"Yes. But do not worry over it, it is nearly the same name after all, I was named after my grand-father Allen"
"Ah, I understand…But tell me, why didn't you have any sanitary towels with you? Girls need to be prepared at any time", she told her and Ellen laughed, her stomach aching very much.
"I did at first, but Master Cross prohibited bringing anything from my home. I forgot about it… I remembered very soon, but I am a little bit ahead of my actual cycle, probably resulting from physical exercising, I do not know… Whatever it was, I did not have the chance to get some towels from the infirmary in time", she explained and Linali patted her on the back.
"You'd better go change now, Ellen. We then can go down to the dining hall and get you some tea for your stomach, alright?". Ellen nodded and with the bag and her clothes, she went to the washroom she had installed next door.
When Ellen was dresses in her normal boy's clothes she found Linali already standing outside of her room expecting her.
"Hi Ellen! Feeling better?", she asked and Ellen nodded with a smile.
"Very much so, thank you", she replied and together they started to walk in the direction of the dining hall.
"Why are you wearing those clothes? Were you trying to keep it a secret? That you are a girl I mean", Linali wanted to know after a lengthy secret inspection of the girls unusual choice of clothes.
"A secret? Why would I want to do that?", she wondered and Linali shrugged with a smile, "no, it was Master Cross' order. He also wanted me to cut my hair because blood would be hard to wash out… The clothes were useful for the journey and I must admit that training with Kanda might have been problematic in a dress"
"I can imagine that… But I don't think Kanda would have trained you… Komui would have assigned me to be your tutor", she said as they reached the kitchen counter where Jerry was already beaming at the two of them.
"My dear!", he said directed at Ellen, "you are pale! Another hard training session with Kanda?"
"No… My stomach is aching… Would you have some herbal tea?".
"Poor thing! Of course I do! And for you, Linali?"
"Ah… Just a toast with marmalade for me!", she told him and turned back towards Ellen, as to continue their conversation.
"I could ask my brother if I could train you! It would surely be fun!", she offered.
"You could? I would like to see how you train! But I would also like to continue with Kanda", Ellen answered truthfully and got her tea from Jerry.
"Thank you very much", Linali said as he also gave her the toast. "Why is that? I assume that he is rather strict"
"It depends… He can be and he mocks me often… But I guess I can learn a lot from him", she told her and they sat at a smaller table near the windows.
"Hmmm… I see. Well, as long as you can deal with his temper it will be okay", Linali assumed.
"You are also an exorcist, right? Are there many female exorcists?", Ellen wondered and sipped at her steaming tea.
"No… Not that many… I guess out of 19 exorcists we have 4 women, five including you. The church, as the battlefield and the science department, are institutions dominated by males. But we have many female helpers of the Order, like in the infirmary and some female finders".
"War is very dangerous… I know this… I guess I have to agree with Kanda that women should not be at war… At least not as active soldiers…", Ellen said, "my family has a long tradition with the army and although I am no man I will still continue with this tradition. Somehow I am proud… But also scared…", Ellen admitted.
"Oh Ellen… You don't have to be scared. I know this all is very frightening, but you are never alone here. We women might not be treated with more care than the male exorcists, but there are many who will protect us if we need protection, like Kanda or Rabi".
"I am glad to hear that…", Ellen said and put her empty teacup down on the table. "I feel better now".
"That's good to hear. Do you want me to ask Komui about the training with me? We could spend one or two hours in the evening together!". Ellen nodded with excitement shining in her eyes.
"Oh I really would like that!", she exclaimed and Linali got up.
"I will ask him right away! I will come to see you later on!", she said and, after Ellen had nodded, left the dining room. Ellen was still sitting by herself for some time until she saw Kanda pass by the open doors of the room.
"Kanda!", she called him and got up, feeling a lot better than before, maybe even up to some light training. The male stopped and spotted her. He was waiting with his arms crossed over his chest when she reached him.
"Finished ditching training?", he asked with a mocking smirk on his face.
"It was not intended, Kanda", Ellen told him, "I was feeling quite unwell. But if you still want to train, I will try". Kanda just shrugged and walked away. As he hadn't given her an answer she chose to follow him. He lead her to the groundlevel and out through a glass door. The early afternoon sun was shining brightly and it was warm even though it was the end of autumn already. Kanda lead the way down a path into a forest. Ellen felt better now that she was in the fresh air and walking. Kanda didn't speak a word and Ellen was for once happy with it. She was looking around, at the leaf covered ground, at the trees and the golden foliage ceiling above the two exorcists. Ellen couldn't help commenting on the weather:
"Well Kanda, look at this! How beautiful the day is!", she exclaimed. Kanda only snorted and they came to a clearing. Near the edge of the forest stood a slim black tower and opposite them a small shack was visible, the empty space was covered in grass.
"Is there any sport you are capable of performing?", Kanda asked quite suddenly and had Ellen turn her head.
"A sport?", she repeated but he did not feel the need to further explain his enquiry. "Well… I am quite good at tennis… I have made occasional bicycle tours… I am quite versed in horse riding… Apart from that I guess I can fence and box a little bit", she told him while crossing the clearing with him. He opened the door of the shack and went in. Ellen didn't even have time to follow, as he already came out again with a skipping rope, two pairs of boxing gloves and in one hand a épée and in the other a strange wooden sword, similar to Kanda's in form.
"We will work with these things in the future as long as you refuse to fight against me full on…", he put the stuff on the ground then went back in to get a white bag which had small weights in them. Without Kanda ordering her to, she took the skipping rope from the ground.
"It's a girl's toy I think, but I know that it's useful to build up stamina and muscle in your legs", he told her, "I want you to skip as much as possible". Kanda probably didn't expect her to be able to use the skipping rope, but of course she did. It had always been her favourite toy next to her many dolls which her aunt sent her from every corner of the world she had visited. "As soon as you're no longer weak we'll start boxing more seriously, because your innocence is located in your arm. You'll need the strength…", he told her and shoved the boxing gloves into her arms. "And even though you most probably won't use a sword it is still useful to know some basics. Eastern or Western sword fighting, we'll have a look at those", he gave her the épée and the wooden sword. "Use the weights for an hour every day, got it?", he asked and shouldered the bag. Ellen nodded and started to follow him back through the forest. "If you don't train seriously and build up some muscle I'll kill you", Kanda warned as they were back indoors and marched up the stairs to their living quarters. Ellen nodded and they reached her door where he dropped all the items they had collected. Without another word Kanda left for his own room.
"I will see you at dinner!", Ellen shouted after him.
"Che. Whatever", was all he replied and disappeared behind the corner. Ellen smiled then went into her room to store the things Kanda left at her door. After that she went to her desk to write a letter to her mother.
"Dear Mother.
I hope you are in good health. I have arrived at the order safely. I have started my training under a fine young gentleman called Kanda. He is from Japan. People from all over the world frequent this order and I have still a lot to explore here. I am mostly fond of the library of the order. You would be very pleased to find all the great authors and many more, so you need not worry about my further education.
I have also become friends with a young woman named Linali. She is very kind and helpful, you would approve of her.
She told me that, even though we are part of an ecclesial order, we will still be allowed to marry, so do not spent many troubled thoughts on your daughter's future, I will be secure in all respects even if far away from your caring embrace.
I will keep you informed on important happenings within he walls of the order.
Your loving daughter,
Ellen Walker"
Ellen put down her pen and the letter in an envelope, then she left her room with the letter to post. She was walking around the living quarters but could not find any place to post her letter. She also went to the entrance hall to see if there was anything there, like a post office, but she found none.
"Excuse me…", she asked a finder, who turned to her, "nice to meet you, my name is Ellen Walker", she introduced herself. Ellen saw that he had some sort of bandage over his mouth and his face was shadowed by the pulled up hood.
"I am Toma the Finder, Miss Walker", he told her and she was delighted to be addressed as "Miss", "How can I help you?". She held up the letter to her mother.
"I would like to send this letter, but I cannot seem to find any post office or something of that sort", she answered.
"This is no surprise, Miss Walker, exorcists are not allowed to keep in touch with their family, as to prevent them being from involved". Ellen's eyes widened as she heard this for the first time.
"No… No one told me…", she whispered, her hand and heart sinking.
"Those are the rules, but there is a secret letter delivery service available", he told her, his voice barely above a whisper. "We finders are travelling the world, we always find time to post a letter", she told her and her face lightened up instantly. "Where is your letter headed?"
"London", Ellen answered excitedly and Toma nodded.
"A group of finders I am well acquainted with will pass the city on their way to Italy. You can hand me the letter and it will pass it on", he offered. Without hesitating Ellen gave him the letter and made a bow.
"Thank you so much Mister Toma, you have taken a great worry off my heart!", she exclaimed. Toma just closed his eyes in what seemed to be a smile, but Ellen couldn't see his mouth. "And what about the letters which are sent to us?".
"Don't worry about these. They will arrive at the bureau of information and then distributed to you or stored there if you are on missions"
"Oh, I am very glad to hear that!", Ellen exclaimed and smiled. A loud bell rang before Toma could answer her. "Oh it is already five in the evening? Time passes very fast it seems! Would you like to accompany me to the dining hall?"
"As much I would like take you up on that offer I have to leave now for an investigation", he informed her.
"Oh… Then I wish you good luck and a safe journey and hope that we can dine together once you are back", she told him with a smile and made a bow. He also bowed, by lowering his upper body quite stiffly, and then he left the tower through the great gates. Ellen was very happy that her letter would get delivered but she was also a bit angry at Master Cross for not telling her about this beforehand. She had agreed to abandon her noble name, but she would never have agreed to abandon her family altogether. Her family was very important to Ellen and she was important to them. There was not much left of the nobility the once large family had possessed in the past; a lot of the male family members had died in the past wars and she was the only daughter of the core family. Her mother would require her to marry and have children of her own. She would have to be very careful on the battlefield to not get hurt or even killed.
With rather unsettling thoughts Ellen wandered the corridors towards the dining hall and nearly walked into Kanda, who had been leaning against the wall, apparently waiting for her, and chose to step away from it just when Ellen walked past him.
"Che. Watch where you're going, idiot beansprout!", he told her and Ellen glanced up at him surprised.
"Kanda! I am very sorry, I was deep in thought!", she apologized, "Thank you for having dinner with me".
"I'm not having dinner with you. I just came to eat, not to enjoy your company", he said in a mocking tone which Ellen chose to ignore. Ellen found that he was a lot more agreeable than on the very first day they met or maybe she was just getting used to it. Either way it pleased Ellen very much. Meanwhile Kanda was starting to doubt himself whereas he had only doubted Ellen before. He himself could not really explain why he was being quite lenient when it came to the beansprout. Surely, she was rather young, still only 14, but she was old enough to be an exorcist.
"He's just weak for a boy, weak and annoying and is unbearably nice all the time. I can't stand his sort, but still… Che! I'm being too soft!", Kanda mentally chided himself as he followed Ellen to the counter, where the beansprout ordered 'a healthy English meal', whatever that was supposed to mean, but Jerry seemed to get him. "And can I get a little plate of that which Mister Kanda likes to order?"
"Soba", Kanda cut in and Ellen nodded. Jerry laughed heartily and ruffled Ellen's hair. "My, what a cute couple! Soon you'll be sharing food!", he said for which he earned himself a deadly voiced "the usual" from Kanda. Ellen meanwhile chose not to mention that they had already shared dessert, because this was not the time or place to anger Kanda, who was visibly disturbed by Jerry's words.
"I fully understand", Ellen thought while waiting silently next to Kanda for their orders, "because I am still a boy in Kanda's view. But I cannot change the way I behave or act as if I were a boy, it would be lying… But… I have the feeling that not telling him the truth is the same as lying…". She glanced at Kanda, who was leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest and eyes closed, as if he was too angry to look at anyone, just in case they might annoy him. Not much later they had their food, Ellen had to balance two trays and Kanda was not even trying to help, and went to find a free table.
"Oh! Let us sit with Linali!", Ellen exclaimed as she saw the girl waving at them. Kanda did not object and she led the way to the table. Kanda and Ellen sat down on the bench opposite the Chinese girl.
"Hello you two!", she greeted, "are you feeling better Ellen?", she wanted to know.
"Very much so, thank you", the girl answered.
"I'm relieved to hear that. Listen! Komui allowed me to give you additional lessons to those Kanda gives you! Isn't that great? And he promised to get you another uniform". Ellen felt Kanda's glare on her and looked up at him. He had raised his eyebrow in an unvoiced question. Ellen wanted to touch his arm reassuringly, but it would have been inappropriate, so she just answered:
"Just an hour or so. You do not mind me doing additional training, do you Kanda?", Ellen wanted to know. Kanda just turned his head to face his noodles, which were more interesting than a stupid beansprout anyway.
"Do whatever you want, I don't care", he answered at last. Ellen nodded and turned her attention back at Linali.
"I do not need a new uniform, I am very pleased with the coat. But if I could get another pair of shoes I would be delighted. I cannot go to the Sunday mass in those heavy boots". Linali started to giggle.
"Oh well, I will tell my brother. He wants to see you tomorrow, by the way".
"Very well, I have time enough for that", Ellen answered.
"And we could meet and play a bit of cards or read books in the library, I heard they got new books just today!", Linali told her and Ellen smiled in delight.
"Oh, how I would like that!!", she exclaimed and started to try the noodles Kanda always ate.
"Don't eat Soba with a fork, idiot!", Kanda shouted as he saw his sacred noodles being tainted by the unknowing British girl.
"What else should I use? A spoon?", the girl asked with slight indignation. Kanda put his chopsticks next to her plate.
"These, you genius! Don't tell me such an educated guy like you doesn't know what they are!", he mocked with a sneer. Ellen huffed, cheeks red, and took the chopsticks.
"Of course I know them! I have a good friend, a Jesuit, who taught me a lot about Asia! But I just cannot use them!", she told him and displayed her rather poor abilities of eating with chopsticks.
"Idiot", Kanda snorted, but it was clear that he was rather amused, even if in a slightly sadistic way. Linali laughed and tried to teach her how to use them, but in the end there was a general consensus that, yes, Ellen Walker was a hopeless case and that a fork would be better.
"You're such a girl", Kanda told her, while she was eating with her fork again.
"And you are thick-headed!", she hesitated but added: "Jerk".
To be continued...
Notes:
Hah. There we go, Linali knows. I got a book from the library about how people dealt with menstruation in the past. I fear it still turned out quite modern, but D.Gray-Man is set in an imaginary 19th century, so I guess it's okay.
I don't really know if I got the part about Exorcist not being allowed to keep in touch with their family right. But I guess the Finder's secret letter delivery system works out quite well.
There is a reason why Ellen doesn't get a new uniform (next to her not wanting to tell Kanda), but it will become clear (?) later in the story.
Useless P.S. Since my very first stupid proseminar paper I can't get rid of my strange fascination with Jesuits. Their churches are flashy (with gold and statues and everything a church doesn't really need) and some of them were so funny. X3 But I won't deal with that in this story (Though I touched the subject of missonary activity and getting in touch with new cultures and customes of 'heathen' people in a Link x Allen (har har) oneshot X3 ... Was that propaganda?)
Well, uh... A story is nothing without its readers; review :3