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fictionluvr : You're just going to have keep reading and find out! :)

llebreknit : And the plot thickens!

Chapter 21 - Impatience and Contemplation

The villagers waved goodbye to the group of four and thanked them for all their help.

Sango looked at each of her fellow travellers in turn. They all looked either tired or fed up. She stopped walking and sighed, "How much longer is it going to take to get to Sesshomaru's castle? I'm getting tired of this."

Everyone else halted and stared at her incredulously, she normally wasn't one to complain. Inu Yasha's face hardened and Miroku smiled sympathetically, "Sango—"

"You can ride Kirara if you're so tired," Inu Yasha snapped heatedly.

Sango scowled with unexpected anger. Just as she opened her mouth to retort, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to glare, and for a second, she saw Kagome and her words faltered. After a second she noticed subtle differences and she remembered that this was Kayo, not Kagome.

Snapping her jaw shut, she turned away from Kayo in disgust. She was disgusted with herself for being so impatient and irritable. Frowning she continued to walk, not saying another word.

Miroku eyed Sango's retreating figure; he knew that her foul mood was a result of Kagome's extended absence. If Kagome were here, Sango would be as agreeable as Kagome herself. He sighed inwardly, Sango was right; he was getting tired of this as well. They were not travelling fast enough, what if by the time they reached Sesshomaru's castle, Naraku had already attacked and won? Then they would have traversed the great distance for nothing.

Inu Yasha growled to himself about lazy humans, but remained silent. He didn't want to argue now when everyone was already in a bad mood. He stalked after Sango with Miroku and Kayo trailing close behind, immersed in thoughts of leaving them all behind. 'It would be so much easier if I just left them all behind and went to Sesshomaru's castle all by myself.'

Inu Yasha knew he couldn't do that though. Kagome was their friend too and they wanted to save her just as much as he did. 'She's more than just a friend to me though,' he thought as he trudged behind the humans.

Naraku frowned to himself as his poisonous insects kept him updated about Inu Yasha's progress. The human wench was right. The group was moving too slow and his preparations were almost done. At this rate, they wouldn't reach Sesshomaru's castle in time for the attack and that wouldn't be as fun.

Another group of insects reported sightings of Sesshomaru and the miko. Naraku's frown morphed into a half-smirk, from what he was told, the Western Lord suspected nothing.

Naraku's musings were interrupted by a knock on his door.

He turned as the door slid open, "What is it Kohaku?"

The boy bowed before saying, "The humans have raided every village they could in this area. There are still not enough horses to go around."

Naraku eyed Kohaku, "Tell them to go further out. There must be more horses in the villages further away."

Kohaku bowed again and exited the room.

Naraku stared at the closed door, the boy had been invaluable to him so far, but his worth was nearing its end. After the war, Naraku would have gained possession of the miko and she would be able to detect the Shikon shards for him. The boy could be used to go gather the shards, but so could Kagura. Kohaku would be worthless and Naraku decided he would take the jewel shard from his body and kill him. After that, Naraku would have all the shards and the Shikon no Tama would be whole again. Then he would have all the power he wanted and he would be able to defeat the four lords and win control of Japan.

Everything was moving along perfectly.

Once the two arrived at the castle, Sesshomaru dropped the human off in her room and locked himself in his study. The thoughts that he'd banished to the back of his mind, pushed through and pestered him. Retreating to the deep recesses of his mind, Sesshomaru finally allowed himself to submerse himself in his thoughts.

'She will be the death of me!' What had that strange device said? That she would leave him when he most needed her? That she would betray him? A voice in the back of his head whispered that she had professed her love for him and humans did foolish things for love. 'She does not love me. She loves the hanyou.'

Sesshomaru found himself trying to rationalize her impulsive behaviour. However he could not deny the desperate look that he'd seen in her eyes. 'What was that that ran through me when she kissed me?' He tried to play it off as shock and anger but deep inside he knew that that wasn't it. It was something that he had thought he would never feel again. Not after what had happened last time.

'What is this feeling within me?'

Sesshomaru ran a hand through his hair agitatedly. He didn't know. He did not hate her and he felt more than just respect for her, he just didn't know how much more. The demon's teeth grit and his hand fisted involuntarily in his silvery hair when his mind flashed back to the moment her lips made contact with his. Never before had a human dared to do so much as touch him and all of a sudden, this one felt that she had the right to kiss him—him; the Great Lord of the Western Lands. Sesshomaru growled; she was tempting fate.

A knock sounded at the door and Sesshomaru glared at the door, trying to will away whoever was on the other side. He was not in the mood for entertaining.

Ignoring the door, Sesshomaru's mind snapped back to the matter at hand and he thought back to all the times he'd gazed upon Kagome with respect. 'I can't believe I actually respected her of all people.' Pacing impatiently, Sesshomaru tried to figure out what was going on in his head. Despite his dislike of humans, he could not deny that he enjoyed her company.

Persistent knocking interrupted his train of thought and Sesshomaru's eyebrows knit. Just as he was about to head for the door and bite his visitor's head off, the knocking stopped. Sighing inwardly, Sesshomaru stared out his large window and allowed his thoughts to return to the troublesome miko.

Kagome lie face down on her bed trying to sort out the mess her mind had become. She couldn't understand why her mind had shown her Inu Yasha and why this had prompted her to express her love for him.

'What is going on? Inu Yasha betrayed me. He broke my heart a million times! How could I still have feelings for him?'

An image of Sesshomaru's furious face appeared in her mind's eye and the details of the article flashed through her mind. She would be the cause of the great dog demon's death. 'No! I wouldn't ever do that!'

Kagome's heart pounded heavily in her chest. 'I'm supposed to hate Sesshomaru. He took me away from Inu Yasha and my friends.' However, Kagome knew that this was not true anymore. While he had taken her away from the group, he hadn't ever shown her anything but hospitality and respect. He had been threatening at times but he had never explicitly hurt her.

'I can't let him die… I don't want him to die.'

Kagome thought back to the panic and fear that had shot through her when she found that Sesshomaru had left her by herself in the library. She couldn't even explain to herself why she had run home so urgently. Words couldn't describe how badly she had wanted him to be in her room, safe and sound and waiting for her. 'I felt so empty inside when he left; like someone had torn out my lungs and I couldn't breathe anymore. I wanted so reassure him so badly, to make him understand that I wouldn't leave him.'

Her mind flashed back to how she had found him in the well room and how relieved she had felt.

With tears rolling down her cheeks she realized that she had fallen in love with the brother of the man who had hurt her countless times. She had fallen in love with a demon that lived in the past; a demon that would never love her back.

Kagome rolled onto her side and hugged a pillow. She didn't know what she was going to do. She was in love with Sesshomaru; she'd fallen head over heels for a demon lord. Kagome didn't understand how it'd come to this. A little while ago, she'd only had the slightest bit of respect for the man. Somewhere along the line, her feelings had snowballed and evolved to love.

A knock on the door caused Kagome to furiously wipe away her tears and force a cheery smile as she stumbled to the door. Sliding it open, she was surprised to see piercing grey eyes.

"Jin?"

Jin had sensed that something was wrong. As soon as she'd been informed of Kagome's return, she'd gotten up and gone in search of the two returnees. She'd tried to annoy Sesshomaru into opening the door to his study, but the man had the patience of a saint and she'd grown tired of knocking fruitlessly. Clearly, something was wrong. Usually, he would open the door and humour her, today, he had just ignored her. She'd given up and gone in search of Kagome. After fending off questions from Rin, Kiome and Kiara, Jin had hurried to Kagome's room alone.

One look at Kagome's face settled Jin's indecision; she was determined to find out what had happened. Deciding that being away from the castle would help Kagome open up; she took the human's hand and gently instructed her to follow along.

Before she knew it, Kagome was in the forest. She and Jin were alone and Jin had erected a barrier around the area where they were seated so that no one would be able to interrupt them.

"What's bothering you Kagome?" Jin asked softly.

Tears pooled in Kagome's eyes as she stared at Jin, "It-it's Sesshomaru…"

"What did he do?" Jin asked, immediately on the defensive.

Kagome shook her head furiously, "Iie… iie… it's not him. It's me. I l-love him."

Jin's eyes widened and she stared at the human.

Kagome didn't trust herself to look up without tearing up at Jin's undoubtedly shocked expression, "I told him th-that I loved him…"

"And?"

"At least I thought I did."

Jin's eyebrows furrowed, "What do you mean?"

Kagome explained all that had happened in her time. How the article on the Internet had said that she would be the cause of his death—a betrayal from her would lead Sesshomaru to the grave, how he'd left and how she'd run after him, desperately wanting to reassure him that she would never do anything to hurt him.

"When I found him… he was so mad at me…" she paused to sniff, "and when I looked up… I didn't see him. I saw Inu Yasha. It was Inu Yasha who I said "I love you" to… not Sesshomaru. But when I thought about it, I realized that I don't love Inu Yasha anymore… I love Sesshomaru. I'm so confused. I don't understand why I saw Inu Yasha when my heart is telling me that I love Sesshomaru. I don't know what to do." A fresh wave of tears was making its way down Kagome's cheeks when Jin hugged her.

"Kagome… Inu Yasha was your first love correct?"

"Hai."

"I heard about what happened… how he hurt you. Kagome you will never forget your first love. Memories of him will never go away."

"But-but why?"

"Because your heart is reminding you of what happened the last time you fell in love… sort of a warning I guess."

Kagome noticed the sad look in Jin's beautiful eyes. Right away Kagome knew not to ask how she knew, Jin was speaking from experience.

"And it hurts so much when you see their face after all you went through to forget all the good times you shared…" Jin continued, "It's so confusing and you don't know what to do…"

Kagome wondered what Jin had been through and knew that she was remembering it all right now. Just as she was about to say something, Jin smiled at her sadly and whispered, "You just have to get past it all."

"Jin…"

"He was my first love," Jin said, answering Kagome's unspoken question.

"What happened?"

Jin leaned back against a tree and stared at the sky, shaking her head lightly back and forth as if it was all too painful to repeat. After a while, she swung her gaze back to Kagome, "I let him go. When I found him again, he was like this… cold… ruthless… spiteful…" At the last word, her voice cracked and Jin grimaced.

Kagome stared at the female helplessly. She was in pain and there was nothing that she could do to help.

Suddenly, Jin stood, "We should go," she murmured.

Kagome nodded and stood obediently.

"Just promise me you won't make the same mistake I did."

Kagome faced Jin with tears in her eyes and nodded silently, "I promise."

Noiselessly, the pair made their way back to the castle. Both feeling that their bond had grown stronger and Kagome feeling more secure about her feelings for a certain demon lord.

Sesshomaru gazed out at the grounds from the window in his study; Kagome and Jin were returning. From what he could tell, no words were being exchanged between the two. After all his deliberation, he'd concluded that he was unsure of his feelings for the human. He was sitting on the fence, as much as he hated people who sat on the fence, he had no choice. Whatever happened next would determine his feelings for the miko.

Sesshomaru turned away and thought back to the article that she'd found.

'He died a very untimely death in a war that was waged against his castle.'

"So…" he said to himself, "a war is going to be waged against the Western Manor in search of the girl… in that case… I should begin to prepare for this war."

Sitting down at his desk, the demon pulled out a sheet of parchment and writing utensils. In his elegant writing, he began a To Do list.

To Do

-alert neighbouring lords

-send word to people who reside on the Western Lands

-ready the troops

-ready the weapons

After some thought he added:

-inform Kagome

Sesshomaru quickly scribbled identical notes to the other three lords. Standing, he exited his study and stopped a servant.

"Have these delivered to the three lords immediately."

The servant bowed and was on his way. Sesshomaru looked down at his list and sighed. He'd have to alert every village and have all the villagers warned. Hailing another servant, he ordered him to send two soldiers to every village to warn the villagers and gather any able bodied men willing to fight.

'Alright… that's two down… ready the troops…'

Sesshomaru stopped two more servants and told one to gather a group of servants and have them begin preparing the weapons. He told the other servant to gather the troops and tell them to wait for him to come and prep them.

Looking down at the last item on his list, he pondered whether or not he should even bother to warn her. Deciding that he should, he followed her scent back to her room.

Knocking, he waited for her to open the door. A moment later, the door slid open and Jin greeted him with a meaningful look before circling him and leaving.

Slightly disturbed that he'd been too distracted to notice her scent mingling with Kagome's, Sesshomaru briefly wondered what the two had been discussing before he entered the room. Sliding the door shut behind him, he saw Kagome sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard. Approaching her, he stopped at the side of the bed, "Kagome… I apologize for my behaviour earlier."

Kagome stared at the demon lord, flushing a deep red and murmured, "It's okay, I understand," her eyes were glued to his. His eyes were no longer cold and emotionless; they seemed to be slightly warmer than before and sincere. Kagome smiled and said with more confidence, "It's okay."

Watching her face closely, Sesshomaru continued, "I'm choosing to believe your device… computer was it? I am preparing for a war."

Kagome was shocked, there was going to be a war. She forced herself to nod and tried not to look to upset. "I promise I'll be there the entire time. I'll fight too… with you." Kagome gazed into his eyes shyly.

"You shouldn't… you'll hurt yourself," Sesshomaru said softly, looking away.

The girl realized that he didn't trust her completely yet. In a small voice she said, "Onegai… I won't leave you… I promise."

Sesshomaru turned back to her and gave her a look that said he wanted to believe her but experience had taught him otherwise.

Abruptly, Sesshomaru whirled and strode away, sliding the door shut behind him. He hurried away with a mind full of war prep and a certain miko.

A/N) I sense mushiness from Sesshy! :o