Author's Notes:

Here it is, the promised chapter 14. Only took me a week to update, my, aren't you spoiled. XD No, I'm just kidding. But I must tell you that the next update will take some time because I made a last minute decision to include one more "filler" chapter. Which I haven't written yet.

Well, now to the serious part. The rating for Ivory Tales has been changed to M, just for this chapter. I don't think that it is really necessary, because I behaved very much. But see for yourselves. Yullen ahead.

Warning: This chapter contains sexual material, nothing graphic, but fell free to skip this chapter. :3

Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino

Kapitel 14 Unravelled Emotions

Ellen was sitting at the open window of the hospital room. It was a sunny day and it was warm even though autumn was nearly over. Kanda was lying in the bed, sleeping and recovering from his serious wounds. The doctor had said that he was lucky to have survived, but that the wounds would take 5 months to heal. Such a long time… She turned to look at Kanda, who began to stir and opened his eyes.

"Good morning, Kanda", Ellen greeted, her voice calm and gentle, and he turned to look at her. She was wearing a new white shirt and didn't look injured apart from a few harmless scratches on her face. "How are you feeling?". He tried to sit up, but Ellen stopped him and gently pushed him back onto the mattress. "Do not move yet… Your injury is quite bad", she told him and he snorted.

"That's okay. I heal fast", he answered and looked at her again. She didn't smile, but she didn't cry either, she was just looking at him, her face void of any emotion. "Hey. It's okay...", he lifted his right arm and gently brushed her cheek with his fingertips. "Don't pull such a face, beansprout". Ellen sighed and lowered her head to his mattress, next to Kanda's cushion, face buried in the fabric. "Where is the Innocence?", he asked, stroking her white, slightly tousled hair.

"I asked Toma to watch it while I waited for you to regain consciousness", she told him, though her voice was quite muffled because she talked into the mattress.

"I'll be fine. You should be there if you're up to it. Are you injured?", he asked, slightly concerned. Kanda withdrew his hand and Ellen lifted her head.

"No… I am alright… Can I really leave you here?", the girl wanted to know and Kanda nodded. "Fine", Ellen got up and patted Kanda's hand, "I will come to see you once Lala has stopped…". Kanda watched her leave the room, gently closing the door behind her. He sighed and shook his head. He had messed up… They were able to defeat the Akuma and get the Innocence, but he still had messed up. To be in such a bad state just because of one level two Akuma? He hadn't paid enough attention and why? Because he had been concerned over the beansprout. He didn't even know what he wanted to think about her anymore. She had been incredibly strong and courageous for a young aristocrat, but she was still just little Ellen Walker. Kanda made a grimace and went back to sleep, waiting for his healing process to start working.

-o-o-o-

Three days later he had completely healed. His wounds were gone thanks to his markings on the left side of his chest and the magic that was connected to it.

"So how did it go with Ellen?", the supervisor wanted to know after having talked about useless things for over ten minutes.

"She's doing well, she's a lot stronger than I suspected", Kanda answered, buttoning up his white shirt, while talking over the phone the finder carried. They had already left the hospital and were on their way to the abandoned city of Matel.

"My, my. Kanda is praising someone!", he heard Komui sing and rolled his eyes, "is she still with the doll?"

"I guess. She has been there for the last three days. I haven't seen her at all since then", Kanda said and sighed, "Well. I've seen to it that she survived her first mission, you'll have to deal with the consequences"

"What? Me?", Komui asked and laughed, "don't be silly. But listen up. Ellen and Toma will have to bring the Innocence back, you need to leave for the next Mission"

"Where to?", Kanda asked, not happy about it; he would have liked to go back to the order for some time.

"To Eastern Europe, Rabi will meet up with you at the border of Russia", the scientist explained.

"Fine", Kanda snorted, "that's all I guess?"

"Yes, good job completing both of your missions", Komui said and then the connection was terminated.

"Che. Idiot", the Japanese youth complained and the two made their way to Matel.

-o-o-o-

Ellen was sitting on the stairs which led up to the ruins of a small chapel. Lala was still singing, even though Guzor had died three days ago. And Ellen waited.

"Hey. Are you sleeping? You should be watching", Kanda said as he walked up the steps. Ellen flinched, but didn't raise her head.

"What are you doing here, up on your feet? Should you not stay in the hospital for the next five months?", he heard the girl whisper. Kanda sat down on the stone steps a bit under Ellen.

"My wounds have healed", he answered.

"I do not believe that…", Ellen replied and Kanda groaned.

"Shut up, beansprout", he snapped, "by the way. Komui just contacted me. I have to leave for the next mission. You need to bring the Innocence back to the Black Order". Ellen stayed silent for a long time, but then he heard her faint voice:

"Understood". He turned to look at her, but she still hasn't lifted her head from her knees. He shook his head and got up. He walked the last few steps upwards and sat down next to her at the top of the stairs.

"If it makes you suffer, just stop her. That's no longer Lala", he told her, but she still didn't react.

"I have promised them that Guzor will be the one to destroy Lala…", she eventually said.

"Beansprout… You're too soft… We are destroyers and not saviours…", he told her with a grave face. Ellen finally lifted her head and looked at him. She was pale, probably because she hadn't eaten or slept enough.

"I know… But I…", she started, but then the wind suddenly started blowing, stopping her in mid sentence.

"She stopped singing…", Kanda said and got up. "Come…", he pulled Ellen to her feet and she slowly went into the chapel. The light of the moon was shining through the cracks in the roof and bathed the two figures in the centre in silver light. The doll had the head of the dead Guzor in her lap, her face pointing upwards and her mouth open in a silent song. Ellen looked at them, then she kneeled down next to them.

"Thank you…", she heard a whispering voice, like wind. Ellen looked at the doll and thought she could see her smiling at her. "You've let me sing until I was broken… You have kept your promise…" With this the doll fell to her side and into Ellen's arms. The girl still stared ahead with wide eyes.

"Hey? What's wrong?", Kanda asked from the doorframe. He could see how Ellen was holding Lala in her lap, her left arm over her own face to stop her tears from falling.

"Kanda…", she whispered and he came to her. She turned to look at him, her eyes red and tears streaming down her face. "I want to be a destroyer who can also save...". Kanda knelt down next to her and pulled her into an embrace. Ellen extended her free arm and put it around Kanda's neck and cried. Kanda just let her do it, not speaking a word until she had calmed down a bit.

"Oi, Toma. Get me a connection to Komui", he said making up his mind, while Ellen was trying her best to stop crying. The Finder nodded and handed him the receiver after some time.

"Yes??", he heard Komui's cheerful voice.

"I need some more time here", Kanda said, loud enough to be heard over Ellen's sobbing.

"Why? Is that Ellen crying?", he heard Komui ask with a concerned voice.

"Yes. I can't let her leave like this. She also has some minor injuries. Let me discuss the mission with her"

"How long do you need?", Komui asked.

"Two to three days maybe", came Kanda's answer – two days was the time he had needed to recover after his very first mission - and he heard Komui sigh.

"Very well. You know what she'll need. Just don't push her too hard. She's still young"

"I know! That's exactly why I'm asking for more days, you idiot!" He heard Komui laugh.

"Okay, okay! Then I'll contact Rabi for you. Take care of Ellen!"

"Whatever", Kanda snorted and terminated the connection. "Come on, beansprout…". Kanda pulled her up on her feet and put Lala's body next to Guzor's, then he folded the doll's hand over her chest.

"Should we not bury them…?", Ellen wondered and wiped her tears away.

"No. This place is as good as any", Kanda told her and took her hand, "just come now".

They left the abandoned town and went back to the next city, Ellen was constantly wiping away her tears, her hand in Kanda's shaking slightly. Toma picked up the phone as a new call came in.

"It is the supervisor", Toma said and handed Kanda the phone.

"What is it?", Kanda snorted, to which he heard Komui laugh again. Always acting to damn cheerful, it was getting on Kanda's nerves.

"Rabi and Bookman will be joined by another exorcist, who just happens to be close by. But I've just received a report for a next mission. No need to hurry, it's on your way back to headquarters", Komui explained, "I will have the details sent to the mission site".

"Fine", was the only thing Kanda said and handed the receiver back to the finder.

"I'll travel to the next town to reorganize our journey", Toma announced as they arrived at an inn.

"We'll stay here", Kanda told him and went inside with Ellen, Toma departing instantly. "We'll need a room", he announced with a deadly glare and immediately got a key from the poor inn owner. Ellen let herself be dragged to the upper floor and into their room. It was clean and small, with a view over the near forest. Kanda closed the door and Ellen slumped on to their bed.

"Get off you clothes before you start sleeping", Kanda advised and pulled off his coat and boots. Ellen just shook off her shoes and turned her face into the mattress. "Are you still crying?"

"No…", Ellen whispered and turned to look at him, her eyes still red, "Kanda… I was so scared… And then you got hurt so badly…", she confessed breathlessly and with a quivering voice.

"I'm fine now…", he sat on the mattress, next to where Ellen was lying and looked at her. There were some dried red spots of blood on her white shirt.

"I only survived because you were there… What will I do if you are not here to protect me?", Ellen asked and turned to lie on her back.

"You're strong enough to fend for yourself, you don't need me to be there all the time", Kanda answered and looked at her. Her white hair was falling over her pillow, her face was pale and her eyes red from crying. She looked vulnerable and he knew that she was, even though her Innocence forced her to be strong. He didn't like it, she shouldn't have to fight so hard. Ellen raised her hand and touched her chest, wincing slightly.

"Are you hurt?", Kanda asked and she looked at him, "that's where the Akuma stabbed you, right?"

"Yes… It is not that bad… It just hurts a bit…", she answered and Kanda remained silent. Eventually he got up from the bed and fetched the first aid bag.

"Let me see it, you haven't changed the bandages for three days", he told her. Ellen looked up at him with slightly widened eyes but then she nodded, blushing.

"There's no need to be embarrassed, idiot-girl", he told her and started to unbutton her shirt.

"I am not… I just… Linali was right… If you are with me I feel safe...", she confessed and he looked at her.

"Don't get used to it", he answered stiffly and opened the shirt; the bandage over her chest was already stained red. He took a pair of scissors out of the bag and cut the used bandage, so that Ellen didn't need to sit back up – it's not as if they still needed the stained bandages anyway. Kanda tried his best not to think about anything while cleaning her wounds; not her calm face, looking up at the window, nor the soft rising of her white chest each time she breathed. He didn't want to think about how warm her skin was under his touch and certainly not how fine her small breasts looked. He finished his work without saying anything and buttoned up her shirt again. "There. Finished"

"Thanks so much, Kanda, you really are nice…", she answered, looking at him. Kanda sighed and put his hand to his forehead. "What is it? Are you alright?", she asked and Kanda turned to look at her.

"No idea…", he answered and his finger grazed her cheek, "are you feeling better now?", he asked, his hand now brushing her bangs out of her face.

"Yes…", she said, still looking at his face, "you behave differently…".He looked at her calmly. He himself thought that he was actually too calm for what he was thinking about.

"Seems so" He shook his head and bended his upper body over her and put a light kiss on the corner of her mouth. He didn't raise his head because he didn't want to look at her or at his reflection in her wide eyes. So he just stayed where he was, the tip of his nose brushing her cheek, until he felt something wet against it. "Are you crying?"

"Am I?", Ellen asked and put her arms around Kanda's back. He didn't say anything and rested his head against her shoulder.

He didn't know what to do. It was quite clear to him that he cared about the girl and that putting it like this was not the whole truth. He mostly liked her, was annoyed at her from time to time and loved her when he was not busy either liking her or being annoyed at her. It was a new experience for him; he had already come to terms with the fact that he'll probably never love anyone because there was no time in between wars and his search for that person. But Ellen had been different from the very beginning. But he was realistic, or tried to be; he didn't expect her to return his feelings, she was still too young. She liked him, he was sure of it, but all of her behaviour, which could have been interpreted as the advances of a girl in love, was how she would behave towards anyone, a thought which tasted bitter to the young man. Kanda didn't like to make up illusions, so he didn't. Just lying next to her was comfortable and her hands were warm on his back. Kanda lifted his head and looked at her; the girl had turned her head to look at the wall, but she now looked at him. Neither of them spoke, so Kanda just sighed and leant down to put a kiss on her lips.

"Do you… like me?", Ellen asked, when he started kissing her cheeks and didn't even try to stop him.

"Yes, I do", Kanda answered quietly against her cheek and felt Ellen's hands grab the fabric of his shirt, but she didn't say anything. Not a single word.

"Why?", she whispered and he kissed her lips to shut her up. After some seconds he raised his head to look at her.

"Che. Why do you need an answer? Attraction is nothing rational", he told her and observed her face. She was blushing and her eyes were slightly widened, but then she nodded and Kanda stopped thinking. While he kissed her and finally received a response from her warm lips, he moved his hands away from her shoulders to rest on her hips. Kanda wasn't really sure what he was doing, and he knew that he was behaving rather clumsy, but it was the first time he had real physical contact with a woman. He didn't expect Ellen to know any better, so he didn't worry about it, at least not much. Ellen was still not saying anything, but had her eyes closed, just letting Kanda take initiative and then respond to him. She only opened her eyes when Kanda started to unbutton her shirt for the second time this day. She looked a little bit uncertain, but lifted her arms and back so Kanda could dispose of the shirt. She wore no bra, because it had made no sense to put it on over the bandages and even after Kanda had exchanged the bandages with plasters he hadn't asked about it, so she hadn't cared. Ellen didn't worry much about what they were doing, because she knew Kanda was not one to be driven by lust alone. The look on his face while he shyly put his hands on her white chest was only curious and gentle; the way Ellen had hoped it to be, when she dared to think about such intimate things. She raised her own hands to put them over his, not to stop him, but to show that it was okay. Kanda looked at her, but then he started to feel her small breasts. He was very careful as not to touch her wounds and not to seem like a lustful man; because he was not. There was desire involved, yes, but his adoration was still stronger. It was different from the way Rabi had told him this act would be; Rabi said it was messy and fast and lustful but it wasn't. At least not yet, Kanda told himself. But he liked the feel of her warm breasts in his hands and how the slightly darker tips were brushing against his palms. He looked up at Ellen's face, she had squeezed her eyes shut and she was nearly grimacing.

"Does it hurt?", he wanted to know and she hesitatingly opened an eye.

"Not a bit. But it feels… strange. But good. I am a little bit ashamed of myself", she confessed and Kanda rolled his eyes.

"You're still young. Should I stop?", he asked, hoping that she would shake her head, which she did. Ellen took her hands from his and joined them at his neck, to draw him down into a kiss, the first thing she did out of her own initiative. Kanda liked it; her mouth was opening up for him and he drew his tongue over her lips and touched hers. Ellen drew back in slight shook, but Kanda just raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse me. How silly of me…", she whispered and leant up to capture his lips in a warm kiss, which Kanda could easily turn into something very passionate. His hands let go of her breasts to glide down her sides. Ellen drew back from the kiss first, her cheeks red. She let go of Kanda's neck as he started to sit up. The older exorcist unbuttoned his own shirt and put it on the chair next to the bed, then he opened the buttons of his trousers, but stopped himself. He was already aroused, which was to be expected. But it was going a little bit too fast for his own taste. Ellen didn't even widen her eyes when he started to get undressed, she probably expected him to do it. Kanda wondered what Ellen thought of sexual intercourse. Was she obliged to do as he wanted? He had no clue how a girl in England was raised, especially not in things concerning intimate matters. So he turned to look at her for clarification; she was watching him and propped herself up on her elbows. "Are you alright with this?". Ellen lowered her gaze, but then she nodded. "Are you sure?", Kanda asked and received an affirmative nod. He still looked at her for some moments, then he pulled off the pants and climbed on the bed, over Ellen, who was lying her head back unto the cushion, looking at the ceiling. Kanda snorted, then he bend over her, hands on her hips and started kissing her passionately. He wanted it, he was so sure he wanted it, but Ellen's lack of enthusiasm was rather unsettling. "If you really want to, show me", he breathed against her lips, hoping to provoke some action. Ellen hesitated, but then she kissed him and put her hands on his naked back, where they were hesitantly moving up and down, very light caresses, nearly tickling him. Kanda thought that was at least something and moved down to kiss her jaw and then her neck. Ellen gasped and he felt her shudder slightly. Kanda didn't know what to make of it, so he continued kissing her neck until the girl started moaning quietly. The sound sent electricity rushing through him and he felt himself getting more and more aroused by the noises she made and the hands now grabbing his hair. He kissed her left shoulder, where the skin looked slightly scarred because of the Innocence.

"Ah. Kanda… No… That is…", Ellen protested when he started kissing her red arm.

"Don't worry about it. It's a part of you", he told her and she stopped complaining, but the cross look on her face was more than adorable. He moved his hand over her arm to soothe her and she closed her fingers over his hand when he put it into hers. Kanda put his free arm under her and lifted her up a bit. He started kissing down her chest, resulting in more breathless sounds escaping the young girl's mouth. Her skin was smooth and slightly salty, but tasted nice. He straightened up and looked down at her lying under him half naked. Kanda hesitated but then he drew his hand from Ellen's and put both of his hands on her hips. She opened her eyes, because the mere touch was sending a shiver through her. His hands glided over the black fabric and he gently touched the insides of her thighs.

"Kanda…", Ellen started but hissed slightly when the palm of his hands pressed against her, fingers moving along the seam of her trousers until they reached the buttons, undoing them swiftly. Kanda raised her legs so that he could dispose of the black fabric and her socks, then he climbed over her legs, positioning him between her thighs, her skin brushing his hips. There were only their undergarments left, just two pieces of clothing. Ellen raised her hands to her mouth and closed her eyes.

"Are you worrying?", he asked and gently lay down on top of her, careful as not to crush her under his weight. His erection was touching her lap and he bit his lips because the friction sent shivers down his spine. His breathing was going faster as did hers. Ellen opened her eyes and looked up at Kanda.

"What… will happen afterwards?", she asked him and he raised his eyebrows. "You know… I am a woman after all… I… could…"

"Could you?", Kanda asked, immediately catching on. Ellen blushed and nodded.

"I guess…" Kanda sighed, not knowing if this should take the wind out of his sails, and kissed her on the lips gently. On a second thought he did love her, maybe this was his only chance to have a woman with him who might last.

"If you would conceive… You… be sure that… Hm…", Kanda pinched the bridge of his nose quite embarrassedly, then sighed and looked down at her. "We'll marry". Ellen looked up at him with wide eyes and couldn't stop herself from laughing slightly.

"You are a responsible man, Kanda…", she told him and he rolled his eyes, but then he looked down at her. Ellen widened her eyes when she saw him smiling gently.

"Sure", he told her and kissed her, then his hands moved down to her hips, fingers slipping under the fabric of the white pants. The words of protest died on Ellen's lips as he removed them slowly, looking at the pale flesh it revealed. He didn't stare for long because Ellen was squirming uneasily and just continued to get rid of his own underpants. Ellen didn't raise her head to look at him or how their naked bodies looked like, she was too embarrassed. So Kanda took Ellen's normal hand and let her feel his own erection. "You… shouldn't worry so much…", he told he and looked at their joined hands doubtfully, "I heard that this was going to hurt and I have no idea how I could prevent that".

"Now you are the one worrying", Ellen told him and looked up at his face, still hovering above hers, her fingers closing over his member hesitantly. Kanda squeezed his eyes shut, but opened one of them again so he could look at Ellen. "It cannot possibly be worse than the injuries we sustained during the mission…", she whispered and looked at him with her bright grey eyes. Kanda nodded and put his hand over Ellen's slightly pushing her legs apart so he had more room to move. He moved his lower body a few centimetres, the tip of his member resting against her entrance. Ellen let go of him and put both of her arms next to her head. Kanda squeezed his eyes shut, took a deep breath and moved forward. Ellen just winced, drawing her knees up slightly. Kanda gasped and took hold of Ellen's Innocence hand, slipping his palm into hers, her finger closing over his hand. Kanda saw the other hand gripped the fabric of the cushion. He took another deep breath and slowly pushed himself into her warmth, nearly crying out at the strange but pleasant sensation. Ellen moaned breathlessly and Kanda also took hold of her other hand, trying to calm her.

"I am alright", Ellen whispered against his lips. "Do not worry…" Kanda nodded and then started moving inside of her. Slowly at first, but he couldn't keep it at that because his own desire was taking hold of him. So he started to move faster and tears started to leak form the corners of Ellen's eyes, but she just repeated that it was alright.

"It feels perfect", she breathed in between gasps and moans. Kanda lowered his head to her chest, breathing heavily and continued his movements, knowing that he couldn't keep it up for long. It felt good, it was almost painful and he could barely stop himself from screaming loudly. Ellen repeated his name over and over again and Kanda couldn't hold it longer. His climax felt like pure bliss and Ellen's breath caught in her throat when she felt him come inside of her.

"Kanda!", she cried and flung her arms around Kanda's neck, sobbing. Kanda collapsed and rested his head on her chest, feeling exhausted but wonderful.

"I didn't want to make you cry, beansprout", he finally said, but he could feel her shake her head.

"It was wonderful, I can do nothing else than cry… You must think I am silly…", she whispered.

"Not at all…", Kanda sighed against her skin, which made Ellen shudder.

After some minutes he sat up, looking down at her. She seemed exhausted, but she smiled. There were some droplets of blood between her thighs and the sheets were quite messy. He just sat there, admiring her, even though she was breathless and sweaty. "Hm… Beansprout, listen…" She looked up at him. "I'm not sure how this will work from now on. You know that we're still exorcists"

"Do not worry about such things… I was born into a family of army officials. In time of war separation is nothing unusual, we Walker women are used to it", Ellen replied with a smile. Kanda nodded.

"Good. Because recovering the Innocence is still our priority", he said and lay down next to her, drawing the blanket over them.

"I am glad… That it was you I slept with…", Ellen said and looked at Kanda, "my mother and aunt told me horrible stories, but you were gentle… I am glad that you were here for me…". Kanda didn't say anything and she rested her head on his chest and fell asleep shortly afterwards. Kanda was a bit bitter that it was all about protection and being here, but he also knew that she was probably still too young to really know about love. He didn't know whether Ellen would choose to stay with him or if she would find another, more suitable man. And it wasn't even sure that Ellen would survive, as it wasn't sure that Kanda would pull through. But this was what war was about. If he only had a short time to live, then he didn't want to regret not having lived life to its fullest. Loving Ellen was the first positive thing that happened in his life for a very long time and he would try to keep this feeling alive as long as possible.

To be continued

Notes:

I have to thank a friend of mine (esmerod) for having a look at this chapter. She's a master of everything kinky and sexy (Malmar for example)!

Random note: originally this chapter was longer because right after it Ellen and Kanda had to part. There would have been some additional, fluffy scenes (and another hint at passion between Kanda and Ellen, but it didn't fit the flow of the story) and I will post the other version to my LJ, with comments and such. (Just head to my profile page to access my journal)

Next chapter: Ellen and Kanda have to solve a mysterious case in the Swiss Alps. And the mission is not was troubles Kanda the most.

Until then: please tell me what you think about this chapter. :3 :3 :3