A/N: Thank you so much everyone for all of your amazing reviews! I'm kind of bad when it comes to responding to people so I hope my author note suffices. I will try to be better next time! But all the same, I'm glad that everyone seemed to enjoy the last chapter despite its lackluster quality (in my opinion). I hope that this chapter is much better even though I'm still a little worried about it. This is the first time I have ever written anything this mature, so I hope that it didn't come out too weird. As for warnings for this chapter, we have Gokudera's potty mouth, smut (I'm not sure if this technically counts as a lemon but it's definitely citrusy flavored *wink*) and maybe some slight OOC near the middle and end but hopefully that's not the case; it's just my opinion of how they would react under the situation.
That aside, I hope that everyone enjoys this chapter for what it is and thanks again for the awesome reviews!
Part 3
He knew he shouldn't have been doing this, that he should have been pushing the other away but he just couldn't help it. This felt way too good; it always did.
Gokudera bit down on his lip, strangling another moan inside of his throat as he felt his companion lick a slow trail up his length, a shudder rolling down the silver-haired Italian's spine in the process. The little bomber arched his back into the touch as Yamamoto continued his lazy ministrations, Gokudera's creamy skin becoming paler around his hands as they clutched the top and armrest of the couch desperately, his smaller body nestled into the corner of the sofa, unable to escape.
Not that he wanted to.
The two boys had stayed at Tsuna's house longer than what was probably deemed necessary (Gokudera still felt guilty for being late so he insisted to Yamamoto that they should stay until everyone else left), and Yamamoto had only become more restless as the time went on. Noticing that his taller companion was beginning to show signs of strain in containing himself, Gokudera had no choice but to leave sooner than he wanted. He didn't need Yamamoto jumping him in front of half of the 'Family' and in the Tenth's living room, no less.
Walking back to his apartment had also been long and straining for the both of them, the only thing keeping Yamamoto contained and Gokudera safe (for the moment) was the younger boy's cell phone which he had used to contact his dad about staying over at the smaller teen's apartment. Gokudera couldn't help but feel that Yamamoto really wanted to accomplish something tonight—the taller boy had a constant look of determination on his face that would occasionally be aimed in Gokudera's direction— and that only made the silver-haired teen feel more nervous about the situation he was getting himself into.
The older boy's fears were acknowledged the moment he shut his apartment door. As soon as the latch of the deadbolt clicked into place, Yamamoto was on him, kissing him fiercely and desperately against the door. Gokudera was so overcome by the rush of emotions to his system he never stood a chance in fighting back; all he could do was stiffen in surprise at the sudden attack and take whatever the taller teen dealt out. Thankfully, Yamamoto knew that he was unnerving his partner because his kisses had slowed, becoming more passionate and languid as he started moving them towards the closest comfortable surface to continue where they had left off in the Takesushi kitchen.
By this point, even though the little bomber had gotten his bearings on the situation again, he allowed his taller companion to move them towards the couch, his fears of their closeness beginning to return as they continued on their way, shedding themselves of all their clothing as they went. Gokudera knew that he should have been pushing the other away, that he had to start distancing himself from the taller boy but he just couldn't do it. He had felt guilty throughout the course of the night with Yamamoto being so depressed, so he felt like he had to make it up to him in some way. The little Italian kept telling himself that he was only doing this to make the other feel better, that it didn't mean anything and that this would be the last time.
Of course, he had been saying that to himself for the past couple months but what could one more time hurt?
Gokudera's breath hitched in his throat again as he struggled to contain another cry as his boyfriend licked his tip, bringing the storm guardian back from his musings. The young athlete's actions stirred memories within Gokudera that didn't make the silver-haired teen all too thrilled, especially since it pertained to their current situation. He was reminded about how he insisted that Yamamoto go slow every time that they were sexual with each other. This was because Gokudera knew that if they went too fast, the physical pleasure would become too much for him to bear and that he would lose himself to the feelings that would overcome him, both physically and emotionally. Since he wasn't a big fan when it came to losing control over a situation, or any situation to be more precise, Gokudera knew that if they were to go slow, he would at least be able to think (if only slightly) and be able to stop their actions anytime he felt it was too much to handle.
If only he'd known how it would have made him feel in the long run, he would have preferred to just get things done and over with as fast as possible.
By going fast, Gokudera knew that he didn't have time to dwell on things like how everything made him feel; it would be over in a matter of minutes and that would be it but, noooo, he wanted Yamamoto to go slow so that he could keep what little control he had over the situation. Because of that, it brought very unwanted feelings to the little bomber's heart. Because of that, he could feel every little thing that Yamamoto did to him; he had time to think and reflect on how the other's touches made him feel. Because of that, he gave Yamamoto more and more time to show how much he cared.
Because of that, Gokudera knew that every time they did this, he fell in love with Yamamoto more.
And he didn't want that. Not when there was so much to lose.
"Nngh!" Gokudera let out as he felt Yamamoto engulf him, biting his lip so hard that he could taste his own blood. The little bomber felt such amazing heat overcome him that it took all of his willpower not to look down and see what the other was doing. He knew that if he did, he would lose himself more to this feeling than what he was now. It was bad enough that he could feel everything that Yamamoto did, from the small massages the baseball player's thumbs were giving to the inside of his thighs, to the way that the other's tongue wrapped around his shaft as he slowly bobbed his head up and down his length, Gokudera knew that if he looked at what the other was doing to him he would definitely lose in this game of mind over pleasure.
While Gokudera was having his inner-battle, Yamamoto decided to try and take the bomber by surprise. After all, he didn't like the fact that Gokudera was trying to keep his noises to a minimum. With great confidence that could only come from experience (He did this quite often with Gokudera, plus he was only allowed to touch him with his hands and mouth) Yamamoto completely engulfed the other boy to his hilt, trying not to gag as he deep throated the other and began to hum. Gokudera shuttered as he felt the vibrations the other was emitting transmit themselves throughout his body. He tried with all his might not to release a heavy lust-filled moan while Yamamoto continued to hum, the dark-haired teen slowly bringing his head up until only the tip of the other's shaft was in his mouth. From there, the dexterous baseball player brought one of his hands up from where he messaged the Italian's inner thigh and wrapped the ends of his fingers around the base of the other's length, twisting it in just the right way as he nipped the underside of the length's head.
"Ah!" Gokudera exclaimed in surprise at the slight pain the other's bite caused him, the twist of the other's fingers quickly following up and mixing the pain with unimaginable pleasure. The silver-haired teen could feel his abdominal muscles twitching and coiling together in an ominous fashion as he was brought unbearably close to the edge.
Yamamoto smirked triumphantly at the noise he drew from his companion's lips, ready to put the first part of the plan he had thought up at Tsuna's house into action. Let's see if Gokudera felt bored around him after this!
While Gokudera was trying and failing to catch his breath from the previous 'attack'— his breaths came out in hard, fast, gasps as the uncomfortable feeling continued to coil in his lower muscles—Yamamoto took his hand from around the base of the other's length and slowly trailed it down to the two spheres dangling beneath. The raven-haired teen then grasped the other's sac within his hand, massaging the ends with his thumb in a slow teasing manner as he gave the appendage a gentle squeeze.
"Ah! W-What a-are you d-doing?" Gokudera exclaimed fearfully, his eyes rounding in shock. Without even thinking, the smaller teen looked down at Yamamoto as the new feeling overcame him, the taller teen looking up into the other's jade-green eyes in the process, his own light-brown eyes sparkling with confidence.
"Don't worry. I'm just trying something new." Yamamoto murmured reassuringly, wondering why he hadn't tried being varied in their foreplay beforehand but knowing that it took time for Gokudera to adjust to new things, especially if it concerned intimacy. Before the little bomber could think twice and push him away, Yamamoto brought his face down and took one of the twitching orbs he was holding into his mouth, his tongue lapping feverishly over the new mound of flesh while his fingers continued to massage the other half of the sac.
"Aaah!…Yamamoto!" Was the silver-haired teen's unwanted reply, calling out the other's name in ecstasy and unconsciously bringing his hand that had been clutching the top of the sofa down to tangle into the other's sweaty black hair. The storm guardian's eyes closed in rapture as his hips bucked wantonly at the others actions, his neglected, weeping length looking for something to rub against in order to lessen the pressure building within it. Noticing what the silver-haired teen wanted, Yamamoto brought his other hand from its place in Gokudera's inner thigh to the needy appendage, pumping the other in time to the laps of his tongue and the twist of his fingers.
By this point, Gokudera had reached the moment he feared for he was no longer able to think clearly. "Y-Yamamoto!" the silver-haired bomber continued to call out, ecstasy filling his voice from every motion the other made. "Hah...ah...oh, Yamamoto~"
Yamamoto continued with his ministrations, his face becoming pained as he felt his own length harden to the point of agony at the other's calls. Using every ounce of willpower he had to not take his companion then and there, Yamamoto continued to bestow pleasure onto the silver-haired Italian while he rubbed up against the base of the couch in front of him, trying to lessen some of the pain and whimpering almost pitifully while he did so.
From there, the athlete's movements became erratic as he broke one of his companion's rules and started to move faster, pumping the other's length with such intensity that Gokudera couldn't help but tighten his hold on Yamamoto's hair and thrust into the other's hand in return, making it harder for Yamamoto to keep his mouth in place below the other's shaft due to the erratic pace.
"Aaaaaah! Y-Yama-Yamamoto~!" Were the last words that Gokudera screamed before white stars exploded behind his eyes and a hot liquid sprayed onto his stomach. The smaller teen convulsed and moaned in rapture as he was brought to completion, his taller companion continuing to milk him thoroughly with his actions until the little bomber was spent.
As Gokudera fell limp against the corner of the couch from post-coital bliss, his head brought back and resting against the top corner of the sofa, he tried to get his breathing back under control. The little Italian took slow shaking breaths, his brain so muddled up from the pleasure that he couldn't draw the energy to be angry with his idiotic boyfriend for breaking the 'go slow' rule. Gokudera was soon brought out of his musings when he felt something warm and wet lick up his length again. Against his better judgment (his higher brain functioning was still a bit on the hazy side) the silver-haired teen lazily eyed his taller companion and his actions, one of his eyelids only able to open halfway to take in the view as he was too tired to do much else.
What he saw took what little of breath he had away.
Yamamoto was taking it upon himself to clean the mess Gokudera had made from his orgasm. The taller teen was giving the other's now-soft member long, agonizingly slow licks, the black-haired teen's eyes closing in bliss at the end of each stroke as he took up the other's seed. Gokudera felt another shiver run down his spine at the sight, berating himself for not pushing the other away before he had become too involved with their actions. Any form of logical thinking he had in that short moment stopped though when Yamamoto continued on his cleaning spree, his lust-filled caramel orbs meeting Gokudera's lazy light-green as he licked a slow trail up the smaller boy's stomach.
Gokudera quickly shut his eyes at the sight, a small shuttering moan leaving his mouth as he felt his member twitch and spring slowly back to life at the sight. This was bad. This was very, very, bad. He was getting too caught up in the other. The silver-haired teen knew had to get out of there before he was completely overcome by Yamamoto again.
As Yamamoto finished his cleaning spree with a lick of his lips, he couldn't help but feel the blushing bomber's little problem as it grew and arched against his chest. The black-haired teen let out a breathy laugh as he witnessed Gokudera growing hard again. "You're so anxious for me to pleasure you again you forgot that you still haven't returned the favor yet, Gokudera."
"I-Idiot." Gokudera stuttered out weakly as he watched the well tanned athlete get up from his kneeling position on the floor to kneel down on the cushion next to him. "W-Who said that I w-wanted you to?"
Yamamoto just smirked knowingly with a heavy-lidded gaze as he leaned in closer to Gokudera, his hands landing upon the top and arm of the couch along with his companions' in a dominating stance. "Your body doesn't lie Gokudera. Now, are you going to help me out or not?"
As Yamamoto's words registered in his ears, Gokudera felt the tip of the tanned baseball player's engorged member come to rest on his stomach, hot and dripping and dangerously close to his own aching length which was still continuing to grow, looking very much like it was trying desperately to reach its partner. As the bomber glanced down at Yamamoto's waiting length, he gulped in trepidation. He was only going to return the favor and then they could stop (he would take care of his own little problem later in the bathroom), that's what he kept telling himself anyway.
Gaining more confidence from his thoughts, Gokudera brought is arm up from the couch's armrest and started to reach down towards the other to do his usual; a quick hand-job (like hell he was going to put his mouth around that!). Before he could though, Yamamoto's hand that had been also resting on the armrest grabbed the bomber's approaching appendage and held it back. The silver-haired teen gazed up at the other in confusion as he felt Yamamoto's hand come to rest in his own, wondering why the taller teen would stop him after he had asked him to touch him in the first place.
Yamamoto gave a small sheepish smile at the silver-haired teen's confused stare. "Sorry Gokudera, I know I asked for your help but…" the taller teen hesitated as he gazed into Gokudera's green depths with an almost pleading look. "I was wondering if we could try something a little different from what you usually do."
Gokudera's whole body stiffened at the suggestion, his jade-green eyes wavering back in forth in anxiety like they were unwilling to believe what the other was asking of him. "Why?" The silver-haired teen asked shortly, backing further into the corner of the couch out of instinct to try and defend himself, his quick-thinking mind coming up with different ways he could escape from the other's hold incase this turned out badly. The idiot had already tried something different today so why should they go further? This could only lead to something troublesome.
Noticing his companion's defensive posture, Yamamoto was quick to try and calm him. "It's ok, Gokudera." The raven-haired teen murmured comfortingly as he reached out to cup the side of the frightened teen's face with a gentle hand, ignoring the hurt he felt as the smaller teen flinched at the touch. "I promise I won't hurt you. I know you're scared of doing…that…but I promise you that we won't do it."
Gokudera's eyes narrowed in hostility at the suggestion that he was scared of having sex because he was definitely not afraid of something like that! Ok, so maybe he was a little worried about the pain it would cause him but he could handle physical pain no problem, after all, he seemed to have a rather high tolerance for it. No, it was the emotional pain that he knew would come with it that scared him. Submitting himself to Yamamoto would only make it harder to let him go, he couldn't afford to strengthen their emotional bond any further.
The darker-skinned teen continued when he saw his boyfriend become angry at his suggestion. His hazel-brown eyes shined compassionately down on his lover, a reassuring smile flitting over his face. "I would never force you to do something you didn't want to, Gokudera. Remember that. What I was thinking of doing is something that would pleasure both of us without the added pain of…you know…"
Gokudera's eyes narrowed suspiciously as the other's words drifted off awkwardly. Just what was Yamamoto suggesting? Before he could ask, the taller teen must have noticed his scrutiny because his eyes became beseeching once again.
"Don't you trust me, Gokudera?" Yamamoto implored, his soft, gentle gaze practically begging for the other to say that he did.
As he felt the other's eyes bore into his, Gokudera had to quickly turn his head away, subconsciously nestling his face into the hand that was still cupping his cheek as if asking it to help him hide from the question. He hated seeing such a raw and open look on Yamamoto's face; one that was filled with expectation but laced with uncertainty. How could he say anything when that look forced him to realize his actions were hurting the other? That he was the reason for most of Yamamoto's pain. The knowledge of this made his gut retch with guilt, effectively forcing his mouth shut from answering the other's question despite knowing the answer.
He knew he trusted Yamamoto way too much.
Seeing Gokudera turn away from him only proved to hurt Yamamoto further, the dark-haired teen's brows furrowing together in bafflement at the look of guilt etched onto his boyfriend's features. Before he could voice his concern, he felt soft breath hit the inside of his hand as Gokudera said something that was too muffled to discern.
"…Did you say something, Gokudera?" Yamamoto questioned, uncertain if he actually had heard the other speak.
With an irritated groan, Gokudera turned his head to face his idiot of a boyfriend and repeated his question. "I said: what were you planning to do?" And with that finally out in the open, the smaller teen turned his head into the other boy's hand again, a blush adorning his cheeks.
Yamamoto could only blink in a stupefied manner until he finally understood what the reluctant Italian was asking, a look of jubilation spreading across the taller teen's face in the process. With excitement coursing through his veins again, Yamamoto quickly swooped down and planted a quick kiss to Gokudera's free cheek, stroking the other cheek he was holding with his thumb afterwards. "It's nothing too complicated." Yamamoto began to explain as his hand finally left Gokudera's face to show the other what they were going to do. "Look. I'll just take a hold of us like this…"
It was here that Gokudera felt the other's warm, calloused, hand take a hold of his throbbing manhood and hold it against his own. The smaller teen's breath hitched as overwhelming warmth pervaded his senses. He could distinctly feel Yamamoto twitch against him and shudder at the intimate contact that they weren't used to sharing—the other's words coming out in shaky breaths now.
"A-And then we…we move…" Yamamoto finished in a husky tremor, his eyes fogging over in desire as he gave an experimental roll of his hips, his and Gokudera's members sliding against each other in the process.
The young Italian gasped at the feeling and almost lost himself as the other continued to roll his hips into him at a slow and steady pace, both of them moaning at the delicious friction they were creating.
"Oh…oh god…Gokudera…Gokudera…" Yamamoto moaned out between thrusts as he squeezed their lengths closer together in his hand, the friction doubling as he continued to grind into the now mewling and writhing teen below him. With one of his hands still holding them together and the other tightening onto the top of the couch, Yamamoto brought his head down to rest his forehead against the indent of Gokudera's shoulder and neck, the pleasure overtaking him as he continued to call out his lover's name like a mantra. He loved every second he spent with the other and every moment that they experienced together. Yamamoto wished for it to never end.
"Ah…hah…shit..." Gokudera choked out between shuddering breaths, feeling himself slip closer and closer to the edge as he held Yamamoto against him and thrust back in time with the other's motions. He was going to lose himself to this feeling again, to the other sighing and grinding pleasurably against him. Gokudera's mind was becoming cloudy as the pleasure continued to escalate, his thoughts flowing unbidden through his head, no longer restrained. The silver-haired teen loved this feeling, the feeling of companionship, the sound of his name on the other's lips, and the feeling of euphoria that shot down his spine with each thrust. He loved this. He loved Yamamoto so much that—Oh shit!
As if he had just been struck by lightning, Gokudera's eyes widened in panic. He could feel himself becoming more attached to the boy grinding against him; more drawn to him then he had ever felt before.
This was bad—no, this was on the verge of being a complete fucking disaster! He couldn't let this happen!
"Yama-Yamamoto…stop…" Gokudera whimpered out barely above a whisper, unable to find his voice in his panic as he clutched at the other boy's back in alarm. He could feel his body stiffen in fear as it no longer took pleasure in the actions they were committing.
Unable to hear the other's pleas through the pleasure overriding his senses, Yamamoto actually began to quicken his pace, thrusting against the other faster in exhilaration. Gokudera began to panic as he felt helpless underneath the taller teen, his nails scratching at the other's back uselessly as he tried to regain his basic motor functions to push the other off him through his terror, the once pleasurable actions he felt now becoming frightening.
"Ah! Please, stop! Stop!" Gokudera begged as his body continued to freeze up, feeling completely out of control as his mind tried to decide between fight or flight. He couldn't stop Yamamoto and he couldn't control his own body; he was even beginning to feel his eyes water up with unwanted tears. A second later, his body finally decided to fight back instead of getting the hell out of there, which proved more effective as Gokudera was finally able to get a good hold of the other's shoulders and, with all his reserved strength, began to push him off.
"I…said…STOP!" Gokudera screamed as he flung the raven-haired teen across the couch, the other hitting the opposite corner with a loud "oomph!".
Yamamoto was in a daze as he felt his back smack unceremoniously into the other corner of the couch. Unable to figure out what had happened, he gazed across to his companion on the other side, wondering what had gotten into Gokudera to push him off like that. Hadn't they been enjoying themselves?
What Yamamoto saw almost made his heart stop.
There, on the opposite side of the sofa, sat Gokudera. He was curled up into a defensive ball with his face hidden in his legs and his arms wrapped around them, his whole body shaking like a leaf in a storm.
"G-Gokudera…?" Yamamoto whispered out in bewilderment, too shocked at what he was seeing to form a coherent sentence, let alone move. What had happened? Did he do something wrong? Had he hurt him?
Terrified at the last thought, Yamamoto's body sprung into action. He quickly shuffled over to his shaken partner, gently grabbing hold of the smaller teen's shoulders as he gave the other a once over, checking to see if his loved one was in pain. "Did I hurt you, Gokudera? Is something wrong?" Yamamoto questioned with a panicking tone as he waited desperately for the silver-haired teen to respond to him, hell, to even look at him!
Gokudera just stiffened at the other's touch, startled from his brewing thoughts. Even though being helpless under Yamamoto had been frightening, he wasn't afraid of the other. After all, it was his fear of losing control of himself and allowing himself to become closer with Yamamoto that had caused him to react in such a terrified way. Gokudera hated himself for getting too caught up in their actions, for allowing himself to submit and for secretly wishing Yamamoto would touch him like that again.
He felt disgusted with himself.
Not able to stand being in the other's presence any longer because of his fear, Gokudera abruptly brushed Yamamoto's hands off his shoulders and stood up, quickly turning away from the taller teen's questioning eyes.
"Gokudera, what—"
"I'm going to use the bathroom first." The storm guardian interrupted with restrained emotion. "I have a…little problem that I still need to fix." And with that, the little Italian began scooping up his clothes from around the couch and doorway, making sure that he never laid eyes on the concerned teen still sitting flabbergasted on the couch behind him.
Yamamoto watched as the other went about his duties, not understanding what the older teen meant until his eyes came to rest on Gokudera's lower half, the other's member still hard and prominent between his legs. At the reminder, Yamamoto felt his own member throb painfully at not being relieved of its overdue burden. He had been so close to climax too before Gokudera had pushed him off.
The slamming of the bathroom door brought the raven-haired teen out of his thoughts. He peered over the couch to see the door next to Gokudera's bedroom closed; its rough wooden exterior staring back at him cold and unforgiving. All Yamamoto could do was sit there on the couch in his pain and awkwardness as he waited for Gokudera to get done, his rock hard member begging for some sort of release and soon. Instead of touching himself to relieve the pain then and there, the confused rain guardian chose to, instead, concern himself with the more pressing issue of why Gokudera had pushed him away. He obviously wasn't hurt since he could move just fine, all things considering. So why did he throw him off?
As Yamamoto thought heavily over this new predicament, he leaned back into the couch to try and make himself somewhat comfortable but abruptly leaned forward again with a hiss of pain. Reaching behind himself to feel his back, the taller teen could feel open, erratically placed, scratch marks over the majority of his upper back and shoulders. How did those get there?
Feeling neglected again, the engorged flesh between the rain guardian's legs gave a aching shudder, the taller teen beginning to feel lightheaded from the pain. Deciding that thinking over his predicament with Gokudera was going to have to wait, Yamamoto ambled his way over to the bathroom door, wondering what was taking Gokudera so long.
Before he could knock and question the other, Yamamoto stopped himself at hearing the sound of running water. Was Gokudera taking a shower? Curious, the raven-haired teen pressed his head to the wooden door and listened carefully, distinctly hearing tiny drops of water hit and scatter on the other side of the door.
Yamamoto could feel himself becoming angry as the sound reached his ears. First, Gokudera had pushed him away when he was so close to release and left without any explanation and now—knowing that Yamamoto hadn't found any relief even once during their little sexual excursion—Gokudera decided to hog the bathroom first to relieve himself for a second time and was taking his sweet time in a shower to boot! The raven-haired teen felt completely offended by the others actions but stopped his brewing thoughts when the open scratches on his back gave another painful twinge. As soon as he thought about the scratches, Yamamoto's mind ran a mile a minute as he pushed himself away from the door, finally adding up his silver-haired companion's earlier behavior with the mysterious scratches on his back.
'Was…' Yamamoto thought to himself as he swallowed a painful lump in his throat. 'Was Gokudera trying to push me away that whole time?'
The tall athlete tried to argue with himself that he had heard Gokudera moaning to show that he was enjoying their activity but he couldn't help but remember the look of fear on the other's face when he had brought up doing something different in the first place. What's more, he could only remember what had transpired between them up to a certain point. Everything else was hazy and muddled and no amount of reflective thinking could help him remember. Had he forced himself onto Gokudera? When he had been explaining to the other on what they were going to do he—oh god, he had just started moving at the end of his explanation without even consulting his fearful lover if he wanted to try it out or not! He had unconsciously forced himself onto Gokudera and the smaller teen had been fighting him off the whole time, hence the erratic scratch marks on his back and why he was taking a shower. The smaller teen was washing himself because he probably felt violated and ashamed!
Yamamoto could feel his legs growing week as his mind bombarded him with assumptions, completely forgetting that Gokudera had actually been enjoying himself for the first part of their connection, as guilt and grief overtook him. Finding himself unable to stand any longer, Yamamoto placed his back against the wall between the bathroom door and Gokudera's bedroom, sliding down until he was seated upon the cold wooden floor, his face buried in his hands.
He thought he was going to be sick.
Sadly, Yamamoto's assumptions had only been partially correct.
As Gokudera continued to let the cold stinging shower water run down his body, his mind continued to replay the scene on the couch. Yamamoto hadn't unconsciously forced himself upon Gokudera because the moment the taller teen began to move, Gokudera had willingly gone with the motions. The silver-haired teen had fought back but only because he was panicking that he had liked—no, that he had loved—the feeling the other was bringing him. And now he was taking a shower because he felt ashamed that he not only loved the feeling of the other against him, he craved for it. Gokudera never knew how much he had wanted Yamamoto to touch him like that. He had always feared of being so close to the other that he had forced himself to blanch at the very thought of it, and now, he wanted it more than anything else.
The feisty bomber continued to pump himself viciously as he leaned against the front of the shower, infuriated with himself for making his worst fears come true; for wanting Yamamoto more than he already did and for caring for that stupid idiot! He hated himself!
As the furious teen brought himself over the edge and spilled his contents into the drain below, he slid down to the floor in a boneless heap, watching the dirty water swirl into the drain in a heartbroken trance.
How could he possibly push Yamamoto away now when he—no, no, he had to stay on track. Gokudera shook his head, water droplets shaking loose from his wet tresses and adding themselves to the wet porcelain below. He couldn't let this get to him or things would become too painful. It was for the best that he let Yamamoto go; he had too. That moment didn't mean anything and it didn't matter. Yamamoto meant nothing more to him then he did before they had reached the apartment.
With renewed determination, Gokudera stood back up and shut off the shower. He kept reminding himself of his previous thoughts, that pushing Yamamoto away was the best for both of them. The mafia world was too cruel for whatever relationship they had to possibly work.
Frowning sadly at the thought and readying himself for what he was about to do, Gokudera dried himself off and got dressed.
As of now, he was going to push Yamamoto away.
By this time, Yamamoto had decided that gathering his clothes up from the ground was a more productive idea than moping on the floor and was in the process of doing just that when he heard the bathroom door swing open. The taller teen's eyes were met with the face of a solemn Gokudera, the smaller, pale-skinned bomber refusing to meet his eyes because the ground seemed far more interesting to look at.
"The bathroom's yours. I'm going to bed." The silver-haired teen mumbled out despondently, his eyes averted to the floor as he made his way into the room next door.
Before Yamamoto could call out to the other, the bedroom door was slammed shut, the noise echoing throughout the small apartment with a deafening finality. The raven-haired teen tried to swallow the bile that rose in the back of his throat as he was reminded of his actions and what he had unconsciously done to one of the people he loved.
Still feeling a dull ache from his lower-half—even though the whining appendage had become softer during his long wait, it still kind of hurt—Yamamoto shook the miserable thoughts from his head and gathered up the rest of his clothes. He would try and apologize to Gokudera after he took care of some unfinished business.
It was a couple minutes later that a full-dressed Yamamoto found himself staring at Gokudera's bedroom door, anxiety and misery pounding down on him like a relentless rain. He was so overwhelmed with questions on what he was supposed to do at that moment that he didn't know where to turn. Obviously, he had hurt Gokudera to the point where the other felt ashamed of himself and couldn't even bear to look at him. Plus, the smaller teen had closed his bedroom door right in front of his face. It was a sign that he wasn't allowed to come in, right? But how could he just leave after everything that happened? How could he just leave everything as it was? This whole situation was like a fresh wound, raw and bleeding and if left untreated it would only become worse.
So despite knowing that Gokudera didn't want him anywhere near him, Yamamoto couldn't bring himself to leave, not without trying to fix this, not without expressing to the other how horrible he felt for hurting him. Swallowing down his trepidation (it felt like he was swallowing razor blades) Yamamoto hesitantly knocked on the door, hoping to hear a response from the occupant inside.
Of course, he already knew that there wouldn't be an answer.
As the obvious silence rung throughout the room, Yamamoto swallowed hard again and rapped louder upon the bedroom door, this time, bringing himself to actually speak. "G-Gokudera? Can I come in?" He asked as delicately and gently as he could, afraid if he spoke any louder he would scare the other teen more than he already did.
Still, there was no answer.
Yamamoto could feel his eyes welling up at the thought of his beloved bomber not wanting to see him but quickly put those thoughts to the side. Maybe Gokudera was sleeping already? Hoping that that was the reason behind the silence, the raven-haired rain guardian took a deep breath and cautiously opened the door, peeking his head into the room just enough so that he could see where Gokudera was without fully entering the room. The taller boy's eyes were fast in picking up the curled-in form of the silver-haired teen laying on the bed, his back facing towards the door with the blankets only covering him from the waist down. Yamamoto noticed the other was wearing a grey night-shirt and red sweat pants to bed and couldn't help but feel the guilt in his stomach skyrocket at the sight. Having slept in the same bed as the smoking bomber many times before, Yamamoto knew that Gokudera usually only wore his boxers or sweat pants to bed just like he did, so seeing the other wearing a shirt under the circumstances spoke volumes of how insecure the other was feeling at the moment.
Unable to bring himself to leave after seeing this, Yamamoto fully entered the room and shut the door behind him. He knew from the way the other was breathing that Gokudera wasn't asleep yet, in fact, the little bomber's back was so taut with tension it would be a miracle if the other felt sleepy at all.
Holding his sick feelings at bay, Yamamoto finally found the resolve to ask. "Gokudera…can I talk to you?"
If it was possible, the silver-haired Italian's back stiffened even more at the other's words, clearly on the defensive but not stopping the other from doing whatever he wanted. The silence in the room only magnified that observation.
Shifting his feet awkwardly, Yamamoto somehow found the courage within himself to actually walk up to the twin sized bed and sit on the edge right behind his boyfriend, the other still not turning around to look at him or to yell at him to get lost. Knowing that the horrible twist in his stomach wasn't going to go away if he just stared at the smaller teen's back like a kicked puppy, Yamamoto opened his mouth to do what he came to do; apologize. "I…" He swallowed thickly, trying to find the right words to describe how disgusted he felt with himself. "I'm so sorry, Gokudera, for…you know…I mean…it's just…crap…"
If the situation wasn't so serious, Gokudera would have probably chuckled at the fact of Yamamoto being lost for words but the silver-haired teen continued to keep his back to the other and tried to ignore him. Since the idiot didn't get the obvious hint to leave him alone (how many times had he told the other that he wanted to be by himself when his bedroom door was shut? Honestly!), Gokudera just let him continue to apologize over something that he shouldn't feel bad about in the first place. It didn't matter what the taller teen did because Gokudera wasn't going to respond anyway.
"I feel...horrible…for what I did, Gokudera." Yamamoto started off again, his hazel-eyes saddened and distraught and his voice shaking with self-contempt. "I…If you can't forgive me for…for forcing myself on you the way I did, I understand."
Gokudera lifted an eyebrow at the other's voice, his green eyes wavering in confusion as he took in the words Yamamoto was saying. When he had left Yamamoto, the other had been concerned about him and confused and now he seemed to have come to the conclusion that he had taken advantage of him in some way. The smaller teen was about to turn around and yell at his companion for being the idiot that he was (even though he could see how the other came to the conclusion in the first place) but stopped himself at the last minute in aggravation. Now wasn't the time to be making up with the idiot! He had to push the other away! So, with that, Gokudera remained quiet and stared out the window next to his side of the bed, trying to distract himself with the glistening stars outside instead of the guilt beginning to build within him.
Taking in the other's stagnant silence as a sign of not being forgiven, Yamamoto was finding it harder in keeping himself composed. What was he expecting? No one could be easily forgiven for doing something as horrible as he did. What he had done was the number one rule you never broke in a relationship and by taking advantage of Gokudera, he was pretty sure that whatever form of relationship they had was completely moot now since he had broken the other's trust.
Feeling that he was beginning to choke up at the thought, the raven-haired teen tried to speak even though it felt like his mouth had gone dry. The silence was so suffocating and the moment so final that Yamamoto couldn't help but wonder if this was the last time that Gokudera would let him be near him. Unwilling to grasp such a unwanted concept but knowing it was probably true, Yamamoto knew that this could be his last chance to touch his beloved Gokudera, to hold him…but he just couldn't go up and touch the other! Not after everything that had happened!
Still desperate to at least hold the other but feeling sickened by his own selfishness, Yamamoto brought himself to desperately ask, "C-Can I…can I hold you, Gokudera? Please…"
Gokudera's breath hitched painfully in his throat as he registered his lover's voice. It was filled with so much pain and anguish that it took everything in Gokudera's being to not turn around and throw himself at the other. The silver-haired teen could feel his chest constrict painfully with guilt but kept telling himself to stay strong. He couldn't lose out now, not when this was the closest he had ever gotten to fully pushing Yamamoto away. Keeping himself silent, but shifting uncomfortable as he felt the other's tortuous gaze on him, Gokudera scrunched his eyes up and prayed that the other would just get the hint and go away before he did something he would regret.
Jade-green eyes shot open at feeling a hesitant touch placed upon his shoulder. A hot, stinging wave spread across his whole body in a matter of seconds, almost making Gokudera forget how to breathe when the overwhelming touch was replaced by a new one, the teen's smaller body becoming suddenly incased within the arms of the person behind him. As the silver-haired teen stiffened at the stifling touch, he felt Yamamoto bury his head into the crook of his neck, the other's fine black-hairs tickling the side of his cheek. Soon, the overwhelming feeling of being held subsided and Gokudera lay limply in the other's arms, not entirely sure on what to do in his current situation.
Before the ingenious storm guardian could come up with an effective plan on getting the darker-haired teen off him, he felt something peculiar along his neckline. At first, he thought Yamamoto was licking his neck because of how hot and wet it felt but as the older teen felt the feeling spread to his shoulder and upper back, his shirt suddenly feeling wet against his skin...
…Oh shit! No,no,no,no,no,no! This was not happening! He did not just make—
Gokudera could distinctly hear a loud sniffle from the person behind him, the sound barely masked by the shoulder they currently had their face buried in, and felt the back of his shirt becoming wetter as the seconds ticked by.
Oh God! Fuck! What should he do? What should he do? He had never been in this sort of situation before! Oh fuck, he had just made Yamamoto cry! Shit! Shit! Shit!
Gokudera continued to panic as he felt the lamenting teen hold him tighter against his body, like he was afraid the smaller boy would run away. As much as that thought actually appealed to him, Gokudera had to fight the uncontrollable guilt he felt in the other's arms. The smaller teen's chest was constricting so painfully with remorse it felt like his heart was going to burst open from the pressure as some form of twisted retribution for his ailing lover. A part of him could only hope it did so he didn't have to deal with this situation! Gokudera had never been one for comfort and had never been a person to try and comfort others, but he'd be lying to himself if he said he didn't feel the incredible urge to do so now.
Of course, Gokudera, for his sanity's and image's sake, continued to lie to himself, reassuring himself that everything was alright and that he had to keep ignoring the other until he'd go away. He had to let the other go! It was the best way, damn it!
Gokudera felt Yamamoto's calloused hands clutch at his chest, the grey fabric tightening around the other's fingers as a shuddering sob escaped from him, shaking the silver-haired teen's body to its core.
…Well fuck!
Turning his body around so fast he was surprised he didn't experience whiplash, Gokudera flung himself at a suffering Yamamoto. He grabbed the back of the taller teen's head and smashed their lips together in a searing kiss, effectively stopping the other from crying. Surprised at this sudden turn of events, Yamamoto's teary eyes could only widen in shock as he felt his teeth clash painfully against his companion's, his lips bruising at the random action. Before Yamamoto could so much as wonder on what was going on, he felt the storm guardian's tongue pry open his lips and force its way into his mouth, lavishing every inch of the wet cavern in a feverish frenzy. Yamamoto could only close his eyes at the feeling and hold on to the other for dear life as Gokudera's tongue started dancing around his, enticing it to reciprocate. Desperate for any sort of contact from the smaller teen, Yamamoto complied and started kissing back, his tongue a flurry of motion as it tangled with the other's in a battle of dominance, completely forgetting his confusion at the other's actions, if just for the moment.
From there, their kissing became more frantic as the two teen's tongues wildly clashed inside and outside of their mouths while they tried to get themselves as close to each other as they possibly could. Gokudera couldn't help but run his hands through the other's hair frantically as they held each other close, their kissing becoming more heated as the minutes ticked by. The smaller teen wrapped his legs around the other's waist soon after as they continued to make out sideways on the bed, completely forgetting himself as he got lost in the moment and started grinding up against Yamamoto in an animalistic fashion, wanting nothing more than to continue where they had left off.
As Yamamoto moaned lustfully into his mouth at the promiscuous action, Gokudera awoke from the heated kiss like he had been slapped in the face. What was he doing?
As quick as a bolt of lightning, Gokudera came to his senses and shoved himself off of Yamamoto and returned to his previous position of ignoring the other and staring at the wall, acting as if nothing had happened. Seething at the fact that he had fallen for the other's guilt trip and was now back to square one of his plan, again, Gokudera waited for the questions he was certain the other was dying to ask.
Yamamoto, on the other hand, could only blink the hazy cloud of lust out of his eyes in confusion, wondering what the hell had happened in the last few minutes. One moment he was agonizing over the fact that Gokudera probably wanted nothing more to do with him and the next, the said teen who he had thought he had violated over a half-hour ago was making out with him and grinding against him. What was going on? Yamamoto was pretty sure that victims of sexual assault didn't get up and start making out with their abusers on a given whim. Had he been mistaken this whole time? If so, then why was Gokudera ignoring him before and acting like nothing happened now? Had he done something to hurt the other again?
Clutching his head in confusion as the pain from an oncoming headache threatened to floor him, Yamamoto stared at Gokudera's back, trying to figure out what the other teen was trying to accomplish.
Gokudera was such an agonizing mess of contradictions.
Still unsure of what to do, Yamamoto decided that trying to fill in the silence was best. "Um…" The younger teen started, his hazel eyes overshadowing with guilt as his mind ran over his previous thoughts. "I'm sorry if I hurt you again, Gokudera. Really, I am. I know I might have been overreacting and that I shouldn't have…cried like that." Yamamoto continued on, embarrassed at his admittance. He rubbed his head in agitation as he felt his headache continue to grow, wondering on how he was going to say what he wanted to next. "I know I must have made you feel uncomfortable but…I just felt so horrible! I noticed the scratch marks on my back and that you were taking a shower, so I assumed that I must have done something to you to make you feel disgusted with yourself. I'm just…so, so, sorry for making you feel ashamed, Gokudera, I don't…I don't deserve your forgiveness."
Yamamoto was so caught up in his guilt it wasn't a wonder why he didn't notice the same feelings emanating from his silver-haired companion. Gokudera felt sick to his stomach that Yamamoto was apologizing to him like it was his fault that Gokudera had just flown at him and had started grinding against him like a horny animal in heat. What the hell was wrong with this idiot? Apologizing for nothing and for misunderstanding the situation! What a complete dumbass! Gokudera had to take deep calming breaths to stop himself from turning around and punching the other in the face for being so stupid. He couldn't lose any form of control like that again, he had to push Yamamoto away; guilt be damned!
"Che, you should feel bad for what you did, Baseball Idiot." Gokudera sneered out in disdain, still turned away from the guilt ridden teen behind him.
Yamamoto felt like he had been punched and stabbed in the gut at the same time. His hazel eyes darkened in remorse. "I'm sorry." He whispered out in anguish, still confused by the other's previous actions but finally understanding that he had been right about his assumptions and that the other was still angry with him.
"A-As you should be!" Gokudera barely choked out in an aggressive manner as he felt his walls begin to crumble at feeling the other's pain. Shit, this was becoming harder by the minute.
The raven-haired teen stared forlornly at the other's back, hoping that Gokudera could find it in himself to forgive him, if not now, then someday. Not knowing where he stood with the other anymore, Yamamoto was reminded of an earlier thought he had at Tsuna's house. Curious to know the answer despite the situation—he was afraid that silence would only worsen their status with each other—Yamamoto asked, "I know this is kind of random." The raven-haired teen began, his words still filled with pain but now holding an air of curiosity. "But, and I'm just assuming this, if you didn't draw my name for your Secret Santa, w-would you still have bought me a present, Gokudera?"
Gokudera's whole body ran ridged at the question. As much as he wanted to ask the baseball player on why the hell he would randomly bring that up, he couldn't. The silver-haired teen had been so preoccupied with finding a gift for the Tenth (and Ryohei after he had drawn the stupid Lawn Head's name), and about pushing Yamamoto away (despite trying to make him feel better throughout the night), he had completely forgotten about getting a present for him!
…Well…like he said; he was trying to push Yamamoto away wasn't he? Why should he get a Christmas gift for someone that he wasn't going to be around? Heck, not giving the idiot a Christmas gift would only drive it in that he didn't want to be involved with him anymore! With renewed vigor, Gokudera spat. "What the hell? Just shut up and go to bed already! I've had enough of your stupidity for one night!"
Feeling rather smug now that he had finally seemed to get his point across—Yamamoto was rather silent—Gokudera settled down to sleep only to flinch when he felt the other wrap his arms around him again. He was about to tell the other off for holding him again but once he felt the taller teen bury his face into his back and clutch at him desperately like a rock climber hanging off the edge of a cliff—thankfully, no tears this time—Gokudera couldn't bring himself to. In fact, the smugness he felt a second ago dissipated into nothing as he was overcome with shame and disappointment from his actions.
He'd start looking for a present tomorrow.
It had been weeks since that incident in his apartment all those nights ago and Gokudera felt like he was either going to break in two or go bat-shit insane. The little Italian was currently cooped up in his apartment, at a loss for what to do. He had never found a suitable gift for Yamamoto but it didn't help that half of the time he would give up looking before he even tried, reminding himself that he was trying to get out of his relationship with the idiot, not trying to mend it! And then he would remember the way it felt when the taller teen had desperately held onto him that night, like if he didn't he would crumble away into dust if he didn't have something solid to hold onto and Gokudera would resume his search for an elusive present once again only to come up empty many hours later.
Despite his bad luck and indecisiveness, Gokudera had at least been able to purchase a present for Ryohei. He had been searching through a sporting goods store the next town over—actually, it was more like a city that was twice the size of Namimori but who cared about the specifics—and had found a pair of black boxing gloves that had skulls on the top of them with red and yellow flames displayed along the sides. The small Italian couldn't help but be mesmerized by them. He could see Ryohei wearing them (they were practically screaming "Extreme!" at the top of their non-existent lungs) and he could imagine the flames along the sides as cool looking blurs of red when the gloves would be punched and jabbed in rapid succession.
Hating that he was buying the gift in the first place but feeling a little better about it since they looked cool (when were skulls not cool?), Gokudera sighed in defeat and purchased the pricy items after making sure that he got the right size of gloves from Lawn Head's sister. He was relieved that he still had enough money from his Vongola earnings and Takesushi paycheck to pay for the gloves and still be able to buy food for himself at the end of the month since Yamamoto hardly came over anymore. That meant he was on his own for food once again.
At the reminder of food, Gokudera couldn't help but reminisce over the dishes that Yamamoto used to prepare for him, about how he looked when he wore that stupid fish-shaped apron he still had hanging up in his kitchen, or about how the idiot would act so excited when trying out a new recipe and actually have it turn out right. Gokudera had to stop the stupid dreamy smile that was starting to spread across his face at the memories. He was acting like Yamamoto wasn't his boyfriend anymore.
Of course, Gokudera didn't actually know what to classify them as at the moment either. Yamamoto still came over every once in a while to check up on him but he mainly gave Gokudera space even when they worked together, his usually bright hazel eyes dull and filled with shame every time the smaller teen saw him. Gokudera had finally gotten the nerve all those nights ago to start pushing Yamamoto away but he still couldn't bring himself to end it. He didn't know what was stopping him exactly but seeing how the taller teen was treating himself as a criminal over that incident, it was probably because of his own guilt that Gokudera couldn't bring himself to add more misery to the taller teen's life.
Gokudera had to constantly remind himself that the best way to get rid of Yamamoto was to make the other think that he was at fault for their breakup. It's not like he could just go up to the taller teen and tell him that they had to break up because of his own fears. Yamamoto would just argue back and never let him go that way. No, either Yamamoto had to think it was his fault for their break up or Gokudera had to make the taller teen hate him—which was nearly impossible for the taller teen to feel so that's why Gokudera saw that he had no choice but make Yamamoto feel bad in order for this to work.
The storm guardian groaned in misery as he thought over his not-so-thought-out-plan and about how the guilt was eating him up from the inside out. It reminded him of how he had gone shopping with Yamamoto a week and a half ago for the joint present they were getting the Tenth. The whole trip had been strained and awkward and Yamamoto had kept on sending him such doleful glances that random passersby looked upon the taller boy with pity and had glared ruthless daggers at him for obviously making the tanned athlete feel bad. Gokudera just took the murderous looks in stride and continued to shop; he deserved them anyway.
Eventually, they had decided they couldn't find anything in the stores and went to Reborn instead to ask if they could get some of the special flameproof silk that Leon made. They had agreed that making some elemental flameproof clothing for the boss would be a stylish and practical gift but, of course, they had to pay the arcoboleno for it because it was considered a Christmas gift and for the fact that he wanted to see the boy's squirm at the considerable amount of cash they had to pay for just enough orange silk to make a jacket.
After paying the ridiculous amount of money for the thread and waiting for the jacket to be sewn, the two guardians then decided to send the jacket in to get printing (Reborn had charged an enormous amount for adding writing). After a couple of days, Gokudera was finally able to pick up the orange formfitting jacket, now emblazoned with '27 Rocks!' on the back in neon white, and wrap it up.
Even though Gokudera should have been happy about obtaining his gift for the Tenth, he just couldn't be. This whole thing with Yamamoto was getting to him. He hated to constantly see that pained, self-loathing look on the other's face and wanted nothing more than to go up and slap the other silly for coming up with the misunderstanding in the first place. Even though Gokudera hadn't broken it off yet, even though Yamamoto didn't cook him food anymore, and even though he had enough money to buy himself food, Gokudera hadn't been in the mood to eat much of anything because he was too disgusted with himself to form an appetite. He hadn't been getting much sleep either and now that he thought about it, he couldn't remember the last time he had felt an inkling of happiness, even when he was around the Tenth.
He hated Yamamoto for making him feel this way and he hated himself even more for causing this pain in the first place.
A couple streets away, a just as depressed Yamamoto was sitting at Tsuna's work table in the smaller boy's room, staring down at an untouched cup of tea and a just as untouched plate of rice crackers. He couldn't bring himself to eat anything, not with the dilemma he was in now. The tall, black-haired teen had been unsuccessful in finding a gift for his beloved Italian and Christmas Eve was only two days away. He couldn't find anything good enough for the smaller teen. Nothing he found could express how much he loved Gokudera and show how sorry he felt for his actions all those nights ago.
Even though that was not the entire reason he was sitting across from Tsuna at the moment, another thing was bothering the taller teen too. After all, he didn't want to bring up the incident or his and Gokudera's waning relationship to his unknowing boss/best-friend.
"He looks like he hasn't been eating, Tsuna." Yamamoto continued sorrowfully with the conversation he had started awhile ago after asking the spiky-haired boy if he could come over and talk. "I don't know what to do. I've never seen him so depressed before."
The smaller brown-haired boy looked upon his taller friend with eyes filled with heavy concern. "You look like you haven't been eating much either, Yamamoto."
Yamamoto laughed at the comparison, the sound coming out hollower then what he was expecting. "Yeah, well, I have a lot on my mind." He added quietly, his downcast eyes staring forlornly into the table below him, unwilling to observe Tsuna's reaction. What he wouldn't give to hold Gokudera in his arms again. He loved the little bomber so much that this rift he had caused between them was slowly destroying him, the guilt eating away at him like a parasite.
Tsuna could only look on helplessly with worry as one of his best friends suffered right in front of him while his other best friend suffered away in silence. "What's going on with you two?" The 10th Vongola don desperately asked. "I've noticed that there's been some sort of tension between you guys—more than usual anyway. Can you tell me what's going on?"
Yamamoto gave a sad smile at his boss's keen eyes. He should have known better than to think that Tsuna hadn't been observing them. "It's complicated." He muttered dejectedly with a tired sigh. "I don't even know how to begin explaining it."
Sensing that Yamamoto wasn't going to talk more on the situation, Tsuna gave his friend a reassuring pat on the shoulder before offering the taller teen to stay for lunch. After much hassle were Yamamoto tried to refuse and Tsuna finally ordered him to stay and eat, the spiky-haired boy traveled down the stairs to tell his mother to set out another plate.
And in the process he secretly called up Gokudera.
It was fifteen minutes later, where Tsuna was in the process of encouraging Yamamoto to talk to him again about Gokudera that the said silver-haired teen came crashing through the smaller boy's bedroom door in a rush, looking out of breath and frantic.
"What's the problem Tenth? You sounded so worried over the—"
Surprised viridian eyes met with just as surprised hazel as they stared at each other in shock; both wondering what was going on. Thankfully, Tsuna was quick to answer their question.
"Gokudera-kun," the small, brown-haired teen started out hesitantly, looking apprehensive about if he had done the right thing by calling Gokudera over. "Yamamoto told me about how depressed you've been lately and—"
"You WHAT?" Gokudera shouted furiously towards a still shell-shocked Yamamoto. He hoped beyond hope that the idiot hadn't mentioned their relationship to the Tenth; he didn't think he could live with anymore shame. "What the hell have you been telling him?"
Yamamoto, meanwhile, couldn't bring himself to look at Gokudera anymore, feeling as if he had been struck in the heart by the other's accusing words. "I-I only told him about you looking depressed, that's all." The taller teen muttered out meekly with no fight in him. He had always felt weird that Gokudera had never truly yelled at him about the incident so it didn't bother him that the older teen was yelling at him now. After all, he deserved it.
The silver-haired teen could feel his blood begin to boil at how pathetic the other looked right now. The Yamamoto he knew would keep on smiling and preserver, not sit around, give up and mope like a fucking baby. "That doesn't mean you have to worry the Tenth with your own bullshit!" Gokudera spat out scathingly, marching up to the still sitting teen and violently grabbing a hold of his shirt. "Look at me when I fucking talk to you!"
Tsuna was on the verge of panicking. He knew this was going to be a bad idea! Why did he have to try and help both of them by forcing them together? Before the small mafia don could begin to wonder if he should go into Dying Will Mode to separate the pissed off Italian from the unmoving Japanese teen, Yamamoto actually turned to look at Gokudera straight in the eyes, his own auburn orbs flashing with anguish.
"But Gokudera…"The taller boy started with hurt lacing his tone, making him look more pathetic in Gokudera's eyes. "I…"
Gokudera couldn't stand this anymore. Before he could think better of it and stop himself, the silver-haired teen's rage spilled over as he directed his own self-anger towards the taller boy still sitting on the ground. "Don't even fucking start with that self-loathing bullshit I know you're going to spout! I've seen and heard enough of it for fucking weeks and I don't want to hear it anymore!"
Yamamoto could only stare up at his lover in shock as the Italian continued to yell in his face. "You're so stupid! I thought you were the observant one for fuck's sake! You should have noticed by now that I don't hate you! Fuck, this whole thing has been a complete misunderstanding!"
Jade-green eyes widened in fear as the words he didn't want to say came spewing from his mouth with no restraint. Gokudera let go of Yamamoto as if he had been burned and backed away, looking ready to flee at any moment if the taller boy so much as stirred.
Yamamoto stared at the retreating boy in complete confusion. "But…you told me I should feel guilty for what I did!" The raven-haired teen shouted back, slight anger beginning to show in his voice. "How can you say that it was a misunderstanding?"
Gokudera panicked. He didn't want to explain the misunderstanding and the reasons for causing it; not here, not in front of the Tenth. Before the silver-haired teen could come up with an excuse for his guilty conscience, an irritating laugh resounded throughout the room as an annoying pest showed up on the scene.
Said annoying pest took one look at Gokudera and ran over to him, giving a mighty kick to the unsuspecting Italian's shin. "Gwhahaha! Stupid-dera is it now!" Lambo screamed childishly as he laughed like an idiot while Gokudera hopped on one foot in pain. He had been playing tag with I-Pin and couldn't catch up with her so he decided that tagging someone else was the best way to go.
To the little cow's misfortune, before he could run away from the now very pissed off Italian in his wake, said very pissed off Italian gave a powerful kick from behind that met with the little boy's butt, sending the unlucky child flying face first into Tsuna's bedroom wall at breakneck speed.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, you stupid cow?" Gokudera yelled in indignation as he felt his now sore ankle throb in pain, not feeling the littlest bit of remorse for the child abuse he had just dished out.
Tsuna could only cry out in fright as he watched the scene unfold before him. This situation was getting more chaotic than what he had anticipated.
Sadly, unbeknownst to the spiky-haired mafia boss, it would only get worse.
Lambo's only way of responding to the angry silver-haired teen's attack was to pick himself off the floor and start bawling his eye's out as he reached unconsciously into his curly hair for a weapon he could use in retaliation. What the nine-year-old's hands met was the large clunky form of the 10-Year-Bazooka. With a flourish and tears still streaming down his face, the idiotic cow-child fired the bazooka at not himself but the person who had so ruthlessly kicked him into the wall.
Gokudera's green eyes widened in horror as he saw the bazooka bullet fly straight at him as if in slow motion. The other felt rooted to the spot and couldn't get himself to move even though his mind was screaming at him to jump out of the way.
"Gokudera, watch out!"
The last thing the little bomber saw before the pink fog enveloped him was Yamamoto jumping from his seat on the floor and rushing over to him; the taller teen getting hit by the bullet along with his companion after he tried to push the other safely out of the way.
The last thing Gokudera felt was the other's strong, warm arms wrap around him protectively as they were sent through the weird psychedelic time tunnel, those same supportive arms being ripped away from him as they were separated through space when they entered the new timeline.
Tsuna coughed and hacked as the familiar pink smoke enveloped the room. Why did Lambo always have to resort to shooting people with the bazooka?
When the smoke finally cleared and he was able to open his eyes again, Tsuna immediately turned to see if his friends were ok.
What Tsuna saw made his big, brown, eyes widen in shock.
Standing in place of his two best friends were not their ten-year-older selves for they looked much too small in order to fit that description. No, standing in his friends' places were two little toddlers, one with spiky black hair and the other with short cropped silver hair.
They looked no older than two.
A/N: So there you have it! I hope this chapter wasn't too over the top in some parts. But nevertheless, I hoped it piqued your interest for the following chapter ;) Also, just as another note, I used the manga version of the 10-Year-Bazooka instead of the anime version because I always thought the one used in the anime was just too silly for this fic, the one that actually shot people with bullets without having to swallow them seemed to fit more better lol.
And now, since you all seemed to want it, here is another Yama x Goku Sim Story!
The first sim story I told you guys back in Washing Rain was about Yama and Goku's first date (and first time having sex; beds are overrated, give me a photo booth in a family restaurant any day!) so I thought I would tell you guys about how they came to be a couple!
After I created my sims to be as close to their manga/anime counterparts as possible, and making sure that they would be attracted to each other, I moved the two in as roommates so that I could get the full experience with them falling in love. That was a very romantic idea but it didn't go exactly as planned. I was playing as Yamamoto and trying to put the moves on our favorite Italian but he just wouldn't let me do anything romantic in the slightest! He would always turn Yamamoto down! I know that I could have fixed this little problem if I turned over to Goku and tried to put the moves on Yama but I resisted (I can be too stubborn sometimes lol), I was like, 'Yamamoto always has to put up with Gokudera and his difficult nature so why can't I?'. Cue me playing the rest of their first night together with no progression in the romance department. -_-u
After face-palming and wondering if I had done something wrong while creating the 8059 sims (my only error was making Gokudera too much like himself lol), the next day arrived and Yama and Goku went to work for the first time (Gokudera in science and Yamamoto in athletics) and sadly, Yamamoto's luck continued to spiral downwards. I had a situation pop up while Yama was at work and chose the wrong decision which cost Yamamoto his job.
So yeah, Yamamoto not only got turned down by his crush a bajillion times in one night, he also got fired from his dream career! Nice! Props to me! While I was wondering if I was some sort of demon spawn and Yamamoto cried his woes out in the kitchen (which was rather depressing and pathetic to watch because the first job in the athletics career was being a mascot so Yamamoto was bawling his eyes out while wearing a llama suit) I tried to make the other feel better but he just wouldn't do anything because he wasn't in the mood. The poor boy was so depressed, I just made him take a shower and let him do his own thing (he could obviously make himself feel better more than I could since I was doing a piss poor job so far). While I decided to make myself some pity ice cream, I came back to the laptop to see that Gokudera had arrived back home from a successful day at work and was in the process of tickling Yamamoto.
….Yeah, you read that right. Gokudera, the little stuck up jerk who wouldn't let Yama touch him the day before, was tickling him in order to make him feel better! I squealed like a fan-girl on crack and almost dropped my bowl of ice cream lol. Deciding to test the boundaries of how much pity Goku was actually feeling for Yama at the moment, I decided to take over Yama again and gave Goku a little backrub as a thank you for the tickle fest and to loosen him up a little bit more than he obviously already was. And sure enough, right afterwards, Yama was allowed to flirt with him and Goku accepted it! By the end of the night, those two shared their first kiss and slow danced together for about two hours lol. And now because of that night, Yamamoto really likes to dance with Gokudera and usually has it as one of his wants. =)
Well, hopefully that little story lifted your guys' spirits from this little depressing chapter lol. The next chapter should be up by the end of October at the most. Thanks for reading!