A/N: Thank you everyone for your awesome reviews again! They really helped me out and inspired me to get out of this depressive funk I was in and continue to write this story for you guys to enjoy! I also just realized that I have been spelling Iemitsu's name wrong this whole time! *Goes back into depressive slump*
I don't have any warnings really for this chapter except for Gokudera's swearing and for the Italian words being in italics and quotation marks again. Yes, that means that this is Gokudera's chapter! You guys will just have to wait for Yama next time lol. I like leaving the best for last anyway.
Also, I want to give a mighty shout out and heartfelt thank you to Magami Yuuri for drawing fantabulous-cute fanart for Chapter 5. The link is in my profile so just click on that and check out the fanart and her other works on deviantart. They're very good! If the link doesn't work for some reason, just go to the YamaxGoku community on deviantart and you should see it. It's under the same title as this story. Check out the community too if you haven't already. It's the hub for amazing 8059 love!
Also, check out Magami Yuuri's 8059 story About Words and Baseballs! It's an awesome read and English isn't even her native language which makes it even more amazing! I took four years of Spanish and can barely string a sentence together so for someone to be able to write in another language is an amazing talent! So go and give her some support guys and review her hard work!
Now that I'm done shamelessly advertising lol, please enjoy the newest chapter!
Part 6
The air in the richly furnished office was thick with tension as Gokudera stared disbelieving down at the man that was seated before him, his pale-green eyes staring into the identical set of his father's. Gokudera was in complete shock, like he had been hit in the gut. Here before him was the man he had not seen and had refused to see for eight years. The same man who had only paid attention to him if he got in trouble. The same man who had paraded and flaunted him around to other mafia families for his unique hair color, high I.Q., and prowess on the piano. The same man who willingly let his half-sister poison him in order to receive higher praise from other families for his 'unique' playing style while under the influence.
The same man, who had an affair with his mother, stole her son away, reduced her visitation rights and then promptly killed her when he felt that she had become a burden to him.
Gokudera inhaled sharply as that last thought came to mind; effectively waking himself up from his dazed stupor. The silver-haired teen peered down abruptly, cutting off eye contact with his father as his eyes became overshadowed with pain, his bangs hiding his weakness from the older men in the room.
As his heart clenched painfully against his rib cage at the thought of his real mother, Gokudera's body became tense and rigid in the hands of his father's men, his breathes coming out in ragged gasps as his anger and hatred for the man before him resurfaced to almost unbearable levels.
The brewing teen's anger was so potent that the men holding onto him could even feel it palpitating off the boy in foreboding waves. Their bodies also seized up as they felt Gokudera become rigid in their hold.
The tension in the room skyrocketed from there as the silence continued to pervade it. No one said a word in fear that, the moment they did, all hell would break loose.
"Let go of me."
The first words uttered since they had entered the office came from the silver-haired captive, the words spoken so quietly that it was a miracle that the men holding onto Gokudera could hear them. There was a pregnant pause as silence overtook the room again, the men refusing Gokudera's demand and still suspicious of the boy who had an uncanny resemblance to their boss's son.
"I said let go of me!" Gokudera repeated again with his bangs overshadowing his eyes from view, his words rough and edged with desperation as he began struggling in his captors' grips. He needed to get out of there. He could feel himself suffocating as a million emotions began to bombard him at once. Gokudera was so torn between running away from there as fast as he possible could and viciously mauling the man seated before him that he didn't know what to do with himself.
He had never felt such different emotions mix so strongly within him.
As the men holding the feisty Italian captive continued to struggle keeping Gokudera within their grasp, a new voice made itself heard over the commotion.
"It's alright men, let him go."
The voice was older and stern and resonated with a deep baritone that demanded complete obedience.
It had been so long since he had heard that voice that Gokudera was immediately paralyzed by it as it rung throughout the room. Unhappy and unfulfilling childhood memories of that voice washed over the silver-haired teen as he and the men holding onto him stopped their struggle as they stared at the voice's owner in shock. Jade-green eyes met jade-green eyes once again, the older pair demanding the younger to stay where he was as his men released their hold and the younger pair shaking in shock and fear. It had been so long since he had seen him that Gokudera had completely forgotten that he not only hated his dad, he was terrified of him as well.
And he hated himself for showing such weakness.
The two continued to stare at each other for a bit before Gokudera's dad spoke up again in his rumbling voice. "If you don't mind young lad," the older man with greying hair demanded curtly, his black mustache twitching as his eyes narrowed suspiciously at the youth standing before his desk. "Would you mind telling me why you look like the older carbon copy of my two-year-old son?"
Gokudera's eyes narrowed as well as his father's words reached his ears, the green orbs flashing with anger and unhidden hatred as he tried to push his fear for the older man aside. The silver-haired teen swallowed heavily, building his courage up to respond. There was no way in hell he was going to let this man control him again, not after all the struggle he put into evading his grasp for the past eight years. It didn't matter that this man was the past version of his father or the present. Gokudera wasn't going to bow down to him; not anymore.
"I'm your…son…from the future." Gokudera finally ground out, practically choking on the word 'son' as it came out of his mouth. As much as he hated to admit his blood relation to the man in front of him, he saw no other choice but to admit it if he wanted to leave this room and this time alive. He really didn't need his father's men shooting him as an impostor if he didn't fully explain himself. As much as that would help him in not having to worry about his situation with Yamamoto, he couldn't just give up and die here and leave the Tenth without a reliable right-hand man! "I was hit by the Bovino Family's 10-year-bazooka which malfunctioned and sent me back in time rather than forward."
There was another brief pause as this information sank in, the older mafia don's eyes widening in slight shock and then wonder. "The 10-Year-Bazooka? I've heard that the Bovino Family was working on such a contraption but to think that they actually finish it and have it work is…" He gave the tense teenager before him another thorough look over, almost unable to believe that the boy standing before him was his future son. "…amazing."
Gokudera had to resist the incredible urge to sock his father in the face for eyeing him like a rare specimen at the zoo.
As the older man's eyes swept over him again, Gokudera could quickly see how his father's eyes changed from wonder to pride as their eyes met again. "You have grown well, Constantine." His father stated proudly, fully believing his son's tale of the 10-Year-Bazooka.
Ignoring how Gokudera flinched at the mention of his Italian name, his father continued. "It seems you have grown fit in mind and body from the way you stand before me. I can also see the ring on your finger. To think that my son is accepted into the prestigious family of the Vongola, and as a Guardian nonetheless! You have no idea how proud I am to see you achieve such glory—"
"Don't you dare fucking praise me, old man!" Gokudera screamed in rage, his eyes burning with green fire as his fists clenched ominously at his sides. "I know you're not proud of me! You're just taking pride in that it's your flesh and blood that made it into the Vongola!" The silver-haired teen's body shook with emotion at the reminder of his father's main fault; doing anything to gain the most self-satisfaction from his own actions and the accomplishment of his children. It took everything that Gokudera had not to rip the Vongola Storm Ring from his finger and throw it on the floor to spite his father and show his complete disgust for his father's 'pride' in him; the only thing stopping him from doing such an action was the deep love and respect he held for his position and for the Tenth.
Gokudera's father stared up at him in absolute shock, his jade-green eyes widening at his future son's words. He wasn't used to having his precious son mouthing back to him like this (he was only two after all). It wasn't long before the older man's look of surprise turned into one of self-righteous anger, his eyes narrowing into dangerous slits as his body tensed in his chair. "That's no way to talk to your father, Constantine…" The mafia don warned thickly in Italian as he folded his hands together atop his desk, fidgeting with said hands as if he was trying to control an impulse.
Fear struck hard upon Gokudera's nerves as he witnessed the metamorphosis in his father. The man had always been imposing and hardly approachable but now, more than ever, he was the perfect picture of the deadly head to a mafia family. Gokudera didn't know what to do now. He had never actually fought with his father face to face before because he had decided to run away instead of calling him out on his mother's death all those years ago.
At the reminder of the beloved woman's death once again, the silver-haired teen's nerves flared back to life, incinerating the fear that held him in place as the years of repressed rage built back up inside him.
He wasn't going to run away from his father this time.
With narrowed, hate-filled eyes that matched his father's to a tee, Gokudera replied back in a venomous tone, his voice shaking as he emphasized his words. "I don't consider the person who lied to me about my own birth mother and then killed her off for his own convenience to be my father!"
The tension soared in the room to overbearing levels as the silver-haired teen spat those last words back into his father's face, their eyes—Gokudera's were sparking with hatred while his father's eyes were shaking vigorously in shock—locked together as time seemed to stand still.
As Gokudera's father tried to find the words to speak, Gokudera could hear the whisperings of his father's men behind them. All of them were talking to each other in low, hurried Italian, completely surprised about the teen from the future's outrageous accusation and about how their boss wasn't denying such a preposterous claim. It was apparent that only the closest of his father's men were the only ones to know, and to have witnessed, the affair between his father and mother.
There was a loud clearing of a throat that brought everyone's attention back to the main desk where the mafia don sat. His appearance was no longer deadly and frightening but much more solemn and slightly defeated as he hung his head in shame, his shoulders sagging with the burden he carried. "So it seems you finally found out about your heritage in the future. I'm sorry about your mother's passing."
Gokudera was on the verge of shouting at his father for being a lying, cheating, bastard and that he was full of shit because there was no way that a killer would feel remorse for their victim, but as he saw his father raise his hand upwards to signal his silence, Gokudera regretfully swallowed his words. The look in his father's eyes had a knowing glint to them that was filled with the stress of his secret and the sorrow of his previous words. The silver-haired teen couldn't help but be slightly taken aback at the emotions he saw.
"I know that you are a smart boy, Constantine." His father started again as he tried to express his thoughts on the matter, his eyes appearing to be burdened with regret. "You should know why I kept the knowledge of your birth mother a secret from you. It was to protect you from the cruel mafia laws and status that comes with being a quarter-bred child from an affair. I was going to tell you when you were older, of course, but obviously that didn't turn out so well."
Gokudera wasn't going to correct his father by stating that he had heard the information about his true mother from a family maid. It was a minor detail and it looked like his father wasn't finished with his 'excuses' yet.
The silver-haired teen was right in his assumptions as the solemn look in his father's pale-green eyes vanished to be replaced with hurt and disbelief. "Now, with the last thing you said…" the older man started out, his voice becoming dangerously low once again. "I have no idea where you heard the ludicrous idea about me killing off your birth mother but I can assure you that you are wrong in that assumption. I didn't kill her and I never planned on killing your mother, so obviously you are mistaken."
"Bull-fucking-shit!" Gokudera screamed disbelievingly, insulted by the older man's excuses. "She was getting in your way so you saw no other choice but to kill her so that your precious secret wouldn't get out!"
There was an abrupt, thunderous, bang that echoed throughout the room as Gokudera's father stood up and slammed his hands onto his desk, effectively cutting off Gokudera's scathing words. The cold, icy glare that his father was giving him felt like piercing daggers being thrown into his body, causing the silver-haired youth's blood to run cold with dread and for his eyes to widen in shock and fear. Was this the way his father was supposed to look at him when he was angry with him? Gokudera had never imagined it being so bone-chilling.
"Don't give me lip, young man." The grizzled-haired man ground out as he put his full weight onto his hands on his desk, making him look even more imposing then he had before. "I would have you know that I fell in love with your mother at first sight. Once I heard of her pregnancy, I threw all caution to the wind and proposed to her, not caring of what my men and my family would think of me or how it would screw up allied family relations. But your mother refused my proposal on accounts of her illness. She said that she was too week to marry or to even care for her child because she could no longer work due to her decease. The least I could offer her was a small quiet cottage on the outskirts of town and compensation for her medical bills and necessities. Before and still now, after your birth, I continue to write letters to her and I allow her visitation rights on major holidays and birthdays so that she can at least see you. Do you still honestly believe that I am your mother's future killer?"
Gokudera was frozen in place as shock hit him once again. He tried in vain to cover the surprise he felt from hearing his father's words and how they correlated with what Bianchi had told him ten years in the future after the whole Byakuran fiasco. Bianchi's words almost matched his father's words perfectly; almost too perfectly.
Refusing to believe that his father was still telling him the truth and that he must have told Bianchi the same story since he knew that his beloved daughter would believe anything he said, Gokudera ground his teeth together as he tried to decide on what he wanted to do now. He wasn't a complete dumbass like his sister was when it came to their father and he sure as hell didn't want to stay here a moment longer.
Finally willing his body to move once again, the silver-haired bomber stiffly turned around and started walking towards the double doors to his right, mumbling a barely understandable 'whatever' as he tried to exit the room in a disbelieving huff.
Seeing his future son act like any pissy teenager with a troubled past would, the older man just sighed as he sat back down at his desk. He knew full well that his son still didn't believe him. Even if the younger boy had believed what he said, the older man still had a feeling that his son still wouldn't forgive him for the sins he had committed.
And he knew he deserved that.
As the young teen opened the double doors to exit out of the room, his father motioned for his men to wait (they had been making their way towards Gokudera to stop him) as he called out to his retreating son's back. "I can't remember the exact details of how the 10-Year-Bazooka is supposed to work but I assume that since you just randomly popped up in the mansion some time ago that you will pop back to your present time again. I suggest that you stay within the mansion and not run off like I feel you're going to."
Gokudera went rigid in the middle of the doorway as his father's words reached him. With eyes burning with heated fire, the silver-haired teen whipped around so fast that it made his father's men jump in surprise. His jade-green eyes glared dismissively towards the older man across the room as he said, "You're not the boss of me!"
Seemingly unperturbed by his son's rapid change in mood (he must have been getting used to it and seemed to be expecting it now), Gokudera's father gave his feisty son a knowing look before reminding him. "Remember that if you run away from this mansion and switch back with your younger self that you would be subjecting your two-year-old self to wherever it is you decide to go. Do you honestly expect a toddler to be able to handle the situation at hand if he randomly popped up in a forest or in the streets of a city that he doesn't recognize? If you leave now you will certainly be setting your younger self up to be hurt, or worse, killed."
…
'Fuck!' Gokudera swore internally as he gnashed his teeth together in frustration. He had completely forgotten about his situation in all of his anger. As he was reminded about what his dad had told him, the Vongola Storm Guardian couldn't help but comment with a sneer. "Wow Old Man, I didn't know that you cared."
Gokudera's father just narrowed his eyes at his son's attitude. "Of course I care. You are my son."
Those words were the final key to unlocking all of Gokudera's inner turmoil and hatred.
"Son? Son?" Gokudera barely choked out the word, feeling like he was going to vomit just by saying it. It didn't take long for the anger he felt to build up inside of him until it was ready to burst.
And burst it did.
In a matter of seconds, Gokudera was able to find his voice again, his words flying from his mouth in screams of rage as his jade-green eyes glinted with notes of hysteria. "When the fucking hell have you ever treated me as a son? I was only something for you to brag and showcase to your friends and the allied families! You didn't give a fucking shit about me! You never listened to me when the other kids in the family bullied me and you never comforted me when I was upset! Hell, you even let my fucking sister poison me so that I would play the piano like a drunk fucking lunatic to impress your artsy friends! What kind of father does that to his son?"
Everyone in the room was silent save for Gokudera's hard breathing. The silver-haired teen wasn't looking at his father anymore as he tried to catch his breath from his massive rant, his hands balled up into shaking fists by his sides. Once Gokudera was able to speak again it was far quieter than before, his voice coming out rough and gravelly as his voice shook with emotion. The silver-haired teen hated how he could feel wetness prickling at his eyes. "You never cared. You were always trying to make me out as some sort of angel; some sort of prodigy. And hell, I was smarter and more talented than the rest of the stupid kids that lived in this mansion but you would always rub that in everyone's face, not caring on how they would react towards me when you weren't in the room. You kept trying so hard to make me out as some amazing, perfect, child because you wanted to forget for just a moment about what I really was." And with that, Gokudera stared straight into his father's shame-filled eyes and shouted. "All I was to you was a reminder of your mistakes!"
Unable to stop the tears that were coming to his eyes, Gokudera promptly turned away and briskly walked out of his father's office, slamming the double doors in his wake.
No one tried to stop him, not even his father.
It had been a little more than an hour since his dramatic exit from his father's office and Gokudera didn't know if he should feel embarrassment for getting so emotional near the end or if he should be irritated and pissed off that the 10-Year-Bazooka wasn't sending him back yet.
Seeing as how his father had been right (the very thought made Gokudera want to blow everything up within the vicinity) in stating that it was unwise to leave the mansion, the silver-haired teen had decided to, instead, head to the complete opposite side of the mansion. If this was the closest way he could get as far away from his father as possible, then so be it.
Once he had deemed himself a good enough distance away, Gokudera had taken refuge in a private lounge area that he remembered from his childhood. Only the members of his family were allowed inside so the silver-haired teen knew that he wouldn't be disturbed…for the most part anyway.
Currently, the feisty storm guardian was sitting at a small table near a huge bay window within the room; his head bent low with his silvery bangs covering his face. One of his hands was balled into a fist upon the table while the other was placed to his forehead, shielding his eyes further from view. Even with how badly he was trying to cover his face, if someone were to enter the room they would still see the pained scowl that stretched across his jaw and how his whole body shook with anger.
Gokudera was also thankful that his stupid tears had stopped (he was surprised he had even began crying in the first place) but that didn't stop the pain he felt as he remembered his unwelcome encounter with his dad. There were so many times he just wanted to jump at the man and hurt him in any physically possible way that he could but whatever courage he had during their meeting had quickly vanished. Even though the silver-haired teen had kept coaching himself on how he was going to react if he ever did see his father again (and he had hoped that he wouldn't) all of his plans had vanished with just one look into his father's eyes.
He hated how the older man could control him so easily and he hated it even more now since he was older and he still couldn't face that horrible excuse for a man. What the fuck was wrong with him? He had even started crying like a little child! Now all that Gokudera was left with was his embarrassment, his frustrations, and painful memories of his childhood as he wallowed away in a remote corner of his father's mansion while he waited to be sent back to his current time.
Since the world seemed to want to spite him more, whatever peace Gokudera had been trying to obtain from his solitude quickly shattered when he heard the doors to the lounge open and shut. The silver-haired boy didn't move, didn't even flinch upon hearing the noise and he sure has hell didn't bother to look to see who it was. At this point in time, he really didn't care.
There was a small thud as Gokudera saw a small black sack placed before him, the sudden noise slightly surprising him. The storm guardian didn't change from his previous position but did look upon the random object in confusion, wondering why someone was bothering to show it to him.
The Italian bomber's question was answered as a small feminine voice spoke up. "Geez, it took me forever to find you, Constantine! Daddy said that I was supposed to give you this and that it would help you understand something."
If it was possible, Gokudera's body tensed up even more at the sound of his now eight-year-old sister's voice. He didn't dare respond or even look at her. After all, he was pretty sure that she wasn't wearing any protective eye gear.
Bianchi, of course, didn't take kindly to being ignored. The little girl puffed up her cheeks and stomped her foot down in irritation. "Why aren't you saying anything, Constantine? Daddy said that you would be upset but that doesn't mean you can't talk to me! …You actually look like Daddy when he's angry or sad about something."
Gokudera made a strained choking noise at the sudden comparison. It took every fiber of his control to not lash out and strangle the girl next to him even though he knew it would probably do him a lot of good and save him from horrible, painful, stomach cramps in the future. Just leave it to Bianchi to say something that would piss him off even more than what he was now. It was bad enough that he shared half of his DNA with his father but now he had the man's mannerisms. Great! That was just fucking great!
"Get. The hell. Away from me." Gokudera barely ground out in his anger, his head bowing down even further at his newfound emotional burden.
Ignoring the obvious threat in her brother's voice, Bianchi's eyes narrowed at the site of the wallowing boy before her. "That's no way to talk to your sister! And after all the trouble I went through to find you and give you Daddy's present!"
Gokudera highly doubted that the sack that lay on the table in front of him was a 'present'. He was picking up serious déjà vu vibes from the ugly thing and it was actually starting to make him feel uncomfortable.
Like a bolt of lightning, a memory flashed through Gokudera's mind, his eyes widening as his heart seized painfully against his chest. He had seen that black bag before! It was the same one that Bianchi had shown him in the future after Byakuran had been defeated. The one filled with his father's love letters to his mother…
Gokudera was at a loss on what to do. Should he read the letters? If he did he could see if his father had been telling the truth back in the office. Of course, his father could have been lying and just saying things in his letters as well to give his mother a false sense of love…
As that last thought made his blood boil, the silver-haired bomber's thoughts were interrupted by his very annoying little half-sister. "You know, Daddy told me that you were from the future. Do I have a boyfriend in the future, Constantine?"
The feisty Italian almost gagged at the gushy romantic voice Bianchi was using as she continued to state her wishes in a boyfriend which he, of course, continued to ignore. He knew that he shouldn't have been so surprised about how romance crazy his sister was but he hadn't been expecting her to be acting this way at her current age. Well, what did he know? Maybe all girls started fantasizing about boyfriends when they were eight? That seemed like a waste of time to him but he had never understood girls anyway.
Not really sure if Reborn actually counted as a boyfriend, Gokudera went with the next best answer. "No." he grumbled out curtly, still refraining from looking at his sister.
Bianchi just pouted grumpily at the answer and complained. "Nuh uh! You're lying to me!"
Gokudera could only scoff in response as he slammed the hand he had been holding to his forehead down on the table. "Well I don't fucking care, so how about you leave me alone!"
The magenta-haired girl gasped at her precious 'little' brother's choice of words. "You're not supposed to say bad words, Constantine! Why won't you look at me? Do you hate me or something?"
There was no pause in his answer. "Yes."
Gokudera's longed for silence finally entered the room with that single word. He hoped that Bianchi would take the hint now and leave him alone.
Sadly, the world seemed to want to spite him some more because Bianchi stayed and asked. "Why?"
Gokudera tried to not be affected by the sadness in the little girl's voice. Ok, maybe hate was too strong of a word to describe what he felt for his sister. It was more of a 'strongly dislike', instead. Still, he wasn't about to correct himself. If he did and apologized then the irritating little witch wouldn't leave him alone. So, to distract himself, Gokudera reached for the black sack placed in front of him and started rifling through it, trying to find one of the letters with the earliest date. He didn't exactly want to read through the letters but he had to do something to make Bianchi go away. If he looked busy, hopefully she would give him some space.
Seeing as her brother was going through their father's present, Bianchi smiled a little and offered. "How about I make you some tea to cheer you up? You can drink it while you read."
It took all of Gokudera's will power not to turn towards the magenta-haired girl and scream 'No!' into her face. He sure as hell wasn't going to be swallowing anything the poisonous little girl was going to give him. So, instead, he went for yelling at her while staring down at the table in frustration. "No way in hell! There's no way I'm going to eat anything you give me! No cookies, no tea; nothing!"
Now Bianchi was really confused. The little girl turned her head to the side and asked. "Huh? Why?"
Gokudera tried to strangle the whine of frustration that leapt from his throat as he was bombarded with more questions. How hard was it to just leave him alone! Practically slamming his head into the table before the black sack full of letters, the silver-haired teen mumbled out desperately. "I-If you want me to like you then you have to stop forcing me to eat your cooking and leave me alone."
The little Italian girl just blinked up stupidly at her now older brother like he had just asked her to stop breathing. Deciding that she was a little insulted by the suggestion, Bianchi huffed angrily and shouted out. "What? No way! Mommy told me that a way to a person's heart is through their stomach! How will I ever get anyone to like me if I can't cook for them?"
The frustrated teen from the future resisted the urge to slam his head repeatedly against the table. Who the hell taught this to their children? Oh yeah, that's right, his crazy-ass step-mother. Damn it, Bianchi and her mother were too much alike!
Finally finding the strength to lift his head from the table, Gokudera angrily growled out, "Well, your mother is a lying bitch who doesn't know her head from her ass! She's obviously full of shit! Believe me, I'm from the future and if you want anybody to like you, I implore you to give up cooking this instant. Everyone would be happier if you did."
Bianchi gaped at him like a fish out of water, completely taken aback by the rudeness of her precious brother. "T-That's an awful thing to say!" the little girl yelled out, a deep frown marring her cute little face. "I'm going to tell on you to Mommy for saying such awful things about her and for insulting my cooking! She's says I'm really good and Daddy's proud of my cooking too!"
Gokudera just threw his hands up into the air in defeat, almost knocking the black bag full of letters off the table in the process. "Fine! Whatever! I really don't give a fuck, so just leave me alone already!"
The eight-year-old girl gasped in slight hurt again as her pale-green eyes narrowed at the now slouched form of her brother who was grabbing at his hair in frustration. "It makes me angry to know that my precious little brother becomes such a rude and un-thoughtful grouch like you in the future! I vow as your big sister that I will improve my cooking abilities and make you eat my delicious food so that you will become a happier person instead of a giant jerk!"
And with that, Bianchi finally showed herself out of the lounge doorway and away from Gokudera, stomping all the way and slamming the doors shut in her wake. The silver-haired teen was just left there to wonder if he had, in fact, just made life for his younger self even worse than it had been before by firing Bianchi up like that.
Hoping beyond hope that he hadn't messed his life up even more, Gokudera quickly tried to distract his panic induced thoughts by grabbing the black sack and searching through the sea of letters once again. He had to do something to pass the time anyway.
After finally organizing the letters by date, the silver-haired boy took a deep breath and delved into his father's letters. Even though he kept telling himself not to believe any of the words he was reading, the doubt he felt towards his father being the person who killed his mother escalated with every finished letter he read. The story that his father had told him earlier that afternoon and even the story that the Bianchi from the future had told him, matched up perfectly with each other and the letters in his hands.
When he was finished reading the contents of the black bag, Gokudera could only stare at the papers before him in shock. As much as his mind was screaming at him to forget everything he had just read and everything he had heard from his other family members and to just keep on believing that his father killed his mother, he couldn't think that way anymore. His father had written pleading letters to his mother to ask her to reconsider the marriage proposal and to come and live at the mention despite all the problems those actions would cause. Since all of his father's letters had been returned (how else would they be there now?) it was obvious that his mother had refused to respond along with refusing his father's proposals, obviously thinking that it was best if she stayed out of their lives because of her sickness—no, her fatal illness. It was clear now that his mother was killed by the disease that riddled her and not by the man that desperately wanted her by his side.
Gokudera held his head in his hands as he hunched over the lounge table at a complete loss with himself, the sun beginning to set and washing the room with a warm orange glow through the bay window beside him. This whole time he had blamed his father for the death of his mother but it seemed that that wasn't the case now. Everything pointed against that scenario. Now the next question was, 'how was he was supposed to react around his father?'. Did he apologize or…
Wait! Fuck no! He wasn't going to do that!
The silver-haired teen savagely berated himself for thinking of such a thing. Yeah sure, so his father apparently wasn't the cause of his mother's death and he did seem to genuinely care for her but did that excuse his actions? Did that excuse him for having an affair in the first place that resulted in his birth; a birth that would be looked down upon within his society and profession as a future hitman, thus already setting him up for ruin? Did that excuse the man for cheating on his arranged wife from an allied family? Did that excuse him for still being a horrible father to him throughout most of his childhood?
The answer to those questions was a big, fat, no.
His father had messed up royally and now his son was the one to pay the price. Because of his father he was made fun of and looked down upon. Because of his father he wasn't allowed to join other mafia syndicates until he met the Tenth. Because of his father he had been alone most of his life! Gokudera still hated the man. He might have hated him a little less now since it seemed that he hadn't killed his mother but the anger and frustration he felt towards the older man was still there and still flowing strongly through his veins.
As his blood pulsated within him with renewed hatred towards the man who had barely fathered him, Gokudera glared down at the love letters scattered across the table. As his eyes fell on them, his body gradually calmed down to the point where he no longer felt anger; just exhaustion in its wake. The sight of the letters had stirred more unwanted emotions within the troubled Italian teen, all of them pointing towards a single, painful, thought.
Yamamoto.
Just thinking of the other teen's name was enough for Gokudera's chest to seize in pain and for his breath to catch in his throat. He hated himself for hurting the raven-haired teen so much but he knew it was for the best. Spending most of the afternoon in his father's mansion had only strengthened that belief.
The mafia world was cruel and unforgiving, especially towards things that went against the normal human code; which a gay relationship definitely did. There was no doubt in Gokudera's mind that a situation would come up where the Tenth would have to marry some of his men off to other mafia families in order to win alliances. If he was with Yamamoto at the time that happened then it would be unbelievably painful for both of them. In fact, Gokudera was absolutely certain that if he had to be married off to another woman to appease negotiations and was forced to leave Yamamoto, the temptation to be with the other man would still be there. He could imagine that feeling being so overpowering that he wouldn't hesitate to cheat on his arranged wife, which would only put strain on his family and the allied family to the point of a possible bloody fallout.
Wouldn't that make him no better than his father?
The mere comparison to his father was enough to fully convince the silver-haired teen that it was better to leave Yamamoto now in order to save themselves from the more powerful heartache later on. It was to the benefit of themselves, their family and to possible allied families as well. Severing their relationship was the best way, no, the only way to go! He wasn't going to be like his father!
With a slam of his fists onto the table, Gokudera vowed to himself that he would break off his relationship with Yamamoto after Christmas (he didn't want to completely ruin the holiday for the raven-haired boy after all and he didn't want to cause a scene with the family as well). He would make sure that Yamamoto got the hint and that he wouldn't cause too much fuss after it was all said and done. That way, their actions and behaviors wouldn't bother the Tenth in any way!
Yes. Just like his mother, he was going to sacrifice his happiness and distance himself for the sake of his loved ones.
With that thought, the little bit of pride Gokudera felt for his plan was very short-lived, like a lit match blowing in the wind. As the thought of being completely severed from Yamamoto hit him, Gokudera couldn't help but dread their confrontation. It was ideal to think that Yamamoto wouldn't make a fuss but Gokudera new better than that; he wasn't an idiot. Breaking up with Yamamoto would be the hardest thing he would ever have to do and he was not looking forward to it in the slightest. Hell, the mere thought of the stupid baseball player being married off to some other woman was downright infuriating and—
…
Gokudera let out a bitter laugh as his thoughts strayed back to wanting to keep Yamamoto by his side. He was truly hopeless. Even though he had the conviction to truly let Yamamoto go now (more than he had before with their misunderstanding), he still had feelings for the taller teen and he was certain those wouldn't be going away anytime soon. A part of him didn't want to go back to his time and face the certain heartache he knew he was going to inflict but, really, there was no helping it.
Wasn't that funny? The very thought of staying in his father's mansion one more second made him sick to his stomach but so did the thought of actually returning to his time. He was screwed no matter what he did. The very fact that he wanted to get rid of his and Yamamoto's relationship but yet he still cared for the taller teen and wanted to be with him only proved that last thought more.
He was such a hypocrite.
The lamenting teen was broken out of his thoughts at the sound of something lightly landing onto the table. Intrigued at the soft tapping sound, Gokudera peered down at the wooden surface of the table and noticed what looked to be small, round, wet marks scattered along the table top directly below him. The silver-haired teen was confused for only a moment before he realized where the wet marks had originated from.
Gokudera could now distinctly feel the silent tears running down his face.
Hating himself for getting overemotional again, a choking sob emanated from the spiteful teen's throat as the tears started to spill faster. He hated his father, he hated this mansion, he hated the mafia, he hated Yamamoto for making him fall for him in the first place, and he hated everything that had to do with his life!
But most of all, Gokudera hated to world for making him suffer.
A/N: And with this, A Promise in a Ring is now officially halfway through! I'm sorry that such a depressing chapter is our halfway mark but I know you guys are partially reading this for the drama and angst anyway lol. So, the start of the second half will be Yama's chapter! I'm very thankful for the people that have continued to read this—yes, even the lurkers lol—and I hope that my story will continue to entertain you!
I also want to ask if you guys liked my interpretation of Gokudera's father. After what Bianchi said in the future, I felt like he didn't kill his wife but that he still wasn't a good father to Gokudera anyway. Of course, that's just what I want to believe but I'm totally open to the idea that he did kill her as well. I just decided to use my first interpretation for the story because it fit better.
8059 Sim Story: When we left off, my sim Gokudera was afraid of getting married. Sadly, I was so ecstatic about having a Yama and Goku wedding that I didn't even notice Gokudera's fears until waaaaay after the marriage when I looked through his memories lol. I read somewhere that sims that were afraid of getting married usually ran from the alter, so that must have meant that Gokudera really loved Yamamoto in order to bear with the ceremony! =)
The ceremony was super cute! I bought an archway, a banquet table, and a table that held the wedding cake! I made Yamamoto invite the guests, who were mainly co-workers, but I invited Yuna and Rikku from the earlier story, and also Sanji (even though Gokudera didn't like him and thinks that he's crazy XD). All the guests hung out for a while and danced or ate the buffet food which Gokudera had set up and Gokudera didn't really talk to anyone throughout the whole party because he was too busy being a prude by cleaning up after everyone lol. Yama was having fun talking to people so I made Goku start the wedding ceremony (which is probably one of the many reasons why Gokudera didn't run from the alter like a pansy lol).
The marriage was so cute, and even though Gokudera's fear had been realized, he was super-extremely happy! I'm not joking! One of his major wants after they got married was to have sex with Yamamoto which practically never happens, so I know he was happy lol. I put Gokudera's wants to the side though and made Yamamoto cut the cake and he fed some to Gokudera, which made me squeal. Then from there, Gokudera continued to be antisocial and clean up after everybody, while Yamamoto sat at a table with a teenage Rikku and they talked about love (it was so adorable! Yamamoto giving Rikku innocent love advice lol).
By the time the party was coming to an end, Yamamoto was ready to pass out so I sent him to bed, while Gokudera finished cleaning up. Since this was the first time I had played the sims and had thrown a wedding party (which was a massive hit by the way, so much so that my Yama and Goku sims still talk about it) I didn't know that a limo came to take the sims away on a honeymoon. I was completely surprised as I saw Gokudera drop everything that he was doing and walk out of the house to get into the limo. Figuring out that I should probably wake Yamamoto up, I was about to click on him to wake him but, before I could, I see him running down the stairs from their bedroom at full sprint and in his pajamas (which were only a pair of sporty sweat pants, yum~). It was so hilarious, I started laughing! Yamamoto just ran out of the house in only a pair of sweatpants and jumped into the limo like his life depended on it! Goku probably gave him an earful when he got inside for making him wait~lol.
Thanks for reading again guys, and I hope to get the next chapter to you by the end of the month or early November at the most. Surprisingly, this chapter was very easy to write for me so that's why it came out so early, so don't expect the next one to be too lol.